Part 38: Ruining My Marriage

Update 38: Ruining My Marriage

It’s time for more Honeybuns Factory.



But only in our hearts.



We’re going with this one. But she can’t control my transcriptions. That’s the power of the SSLP.




Oh, shit, okay, another thread vote, Bold your responses and

: Call me...Sharron, Honeybuns.

Oh. That was easier.

: Okay, got it.



So, once per day Sharron will give us some free food.



It is always donuts.

: Sweet foods are the best when you’re tired.



All of our animals that produce stuff are at 10 FP now, so petting is no longer necessary. I will have to remember to keep the Feed stocked, though.



Anyway, it’s time to go back to Misty Bloom Cave. We need to plow some tiles before Godwin will let us into the next cave.

It would suck if you forgot to clear Misty Bloom until, like, the last day of winter and couldn’t plow enough before spring rolled around. Have fun waiting a year!




It’s paranoia like that that keeps me going. This is in the Tricky Mush room. Time to clear it out.



Oh, by the way, sword-type weapons can destroy grass if you swing at it. Never necessary, but kinda neat.



Otherwise, it’s just back to the old stump grind.



At least the Hoe we have now plows in 3x3 spaces when charged. That makes this part go way faster.



Also, the rocks seem to house a new prize!




It’s an Emerald. I would argue that Donnel is, in fact, rougher than the rest of them.



Back at the farm, Rosetta’s here trying to aggressively remind me about the game mechanics. I haven’t used that thing in months.



This dialogue box directly followed the first. I put nothing inside.



Donnel puts an Aquamarine in, just to make her feel better.



Since wood is no longer under the cruel monopoly of the House Grind, I can start building more monster huts! Nice for everyone.

But now let’s see about getting entrance to that next cave.




: Donnel, you’re a real foundation for this town, eh? I’ll issue you the pass for the next cave if you plow 100 squares in Misty Bloom Cave.

Yeah, sadly the requirements for tiles plowed seem to have permanently risen. Ah well. I can knock that out in another trip.



And it’ll give me a chance to test out a new souvenir.



Expensive. Also metal as fuck.



It’s a purple ball. We’ll see it in action soon.

Back to the cave!




Here’s Life Absorber, which I think has claimed the STUNNING title of “Worst Spell In The Game”.

That did...1 damage. And healed me for 1 HP. I think elemental defense on enemies affects it, but I have no idea what element this is, and besides...well, you’ll see.



It did...slightly more on this guy? But the numbers are still shit compared to a standard sword swipe, and the healing is nothing Medicate doesn’t have covered. Also, while Donnel’s doing that dumb animation, the monster will usually just walk up and smack you for all the HP you regained anyway.



Levels always cheer me up, though. Also a prize!




This is useful for one thing I can think of. I’ll make it later this update.



Welp. Here I go.



Running desperately low on HP/RP, Donnel devours the donuts from his wife for a medicate…



...Donuts restore literally zero RP.

They do (temporarily) drop your Vitality stat, raise your Earth and Fire attacks, and provide a pretty good increase to Intelligence! (By the way, there’s no way to tell this aside from comparing stats before and after, I used the internet because I’m forgetful and a cheater.)

Intelligence...only matters with spells.

Dammit sharron. Food in general is pretty shit in this game, though, so I can’t blame her entirely.



Ah well, I’ll just sleeping bag for some RP.



And, with 100 squares tilled, that’s all for Misty Bloom.



Sharron, unfazed by Donnel’s cave sleeping, has more useless donuts for us.




I hope you like these quotes, because it’s about all she’ll say from now on. Rune Factory has that issue of, when you marry someone, they become a mindless food dispenser. We’re gonna scoot past that uncomfortable subtext and move on to CRAFTING!




Glad I can make these myself now. And for one less herb than it takes Edward.



This is what the Wolf Claws are for. It’s in the Decorations menu, and an interesting little accessory…



This thing has no defense, tanks the hell out of your stats, but provides an ENORMOUS crit rate. I’ve heard combining this with the high crit-rate sword is good, but I’ve never tried it. I put it away for now, but maybe I’ll experiment with it later.



Now back to Godwin’s for my pass.




: As I expected, Donnel, you have the gift of an Earthmate.

You may not remember because it was back in the first update and never brought up again, but Mist mentioned Earthmates basically being farming wizards.

: I’m issuing you a new pass for the Kasimir ruins. Good luck.







: Donnel, I’m only telling this because of who you are… It looks like the Sechs Empire is on the move.

He just got married, Godwin, give it time.

: Don’t tell anyone. I don’t want the townsfolk upset. I’m going to keep on making investigations.

Hmm. Well, thankfully, I’m sure we all know where Kasimir Ruins is.



Sharron’s old haunting grounds! Perhaps literally.









So, as you enter…um…



Sadly not quite.

Instead of Mist, Sharron is supposed to appear here and stop you from entering if you have less than 10 monsters, to prove your responsibility or some shit. She also rambles about the ruins a little.

However, since we’ve married her, I guess she got distracted making donuts and that dialogue refused to trigger at all. Huh. Okay.



Kasimir Ruins opens with this long, snaky hallway. There are no enemies, just poison tiles to mess with you.



Finally you’ll reach a chamber with the first enemies of the Ruins, the Dark Slimes. They’re slow melee guys, dispatch ‘em easily and move on. If they do hit you, though, you could get Paralyzed or Poisoned. Got Medicate? That’s a counter.



North of that is a pretty massive room with a little pedestal in the middle. For now, it appears not to do anything.



The right side houses four crop fields and a fearsome(?) Gigantus. It’s got some reach, but slow attacks and can easily be flanked and cut down.



The left is nearly identical, but with a locked door...



This one’s a little different than anything we’ve seen so far.









So, Kasimir Ruins has a bit of a puzzle here. The answer shouldn’t be too tough to figure out, but it’ll take time, and I want to explore the right side of this chamber again before I get into it.



The door over there is already unlocked.



It leads into a big empty room. Huh. Have to keep that in mind.



And these crop fields are pretty suspicious…



You’ve probably figured it out. That door will only open once we’ve successfully grown something in one of those patches. I’ve seen guides that say you have to do every one of the eight patches, but trust me, you don’t, and you don’t want to.

The cave gods have finally found Donnel’s greatest counter. Actual farming.




I’m sure Jean can help out here.


Radishes are the fastest growing Spring crop, so I went with those.




: By the way, Donnel. Have you done any work on your own farm recently? It’s fine to head off exploring the caves, but you still gotta tend to your own fields.

I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sounds of the 10000g rocks I found lying around in my pockets.



So here’s an annoying thing about Kasimir, you have to do this run back every time you enter to water your crops. And since we haven’t seen any water yet, you’ll have to do this to refill your can too, if it doesn’t have a high capacity. At least it isn’t dangerous.



Unless you bumble into a poison tile. Why are those even there?



The Sleeping Bag is also a great way to skip the run back. Radishes are planted, so let’s just skip to the next day.



I only got two waterings in before teleporting home, because it looks like time for another festival!




The Winter Festival is sort of a counterpart to that spring festival where Godwin told us to give ladies cookies, so this one is also lame.



Let’s see it!




You’re so generous, Sharron.





And that was the Winter Festival. You can get chocolate from multiple women, even if you’re married, but their LP must be at 5 or higher, and Donnel’s second highest is 4.



Still, it doesn’t mean we can’t use the day to make some new friends!




ashnjack gave us this Orc Hunter reference to, uh, World Of Warcraft? No, wait, that’s not it. Warhammer? Gotta be Game of Thrones. Donnel’s hip with the kids.




Next up is the Tricky Mush, and man, these guys actually hit pretty damn hard if you let them hit you. I realize the Miss! In there is bad evidence, but that’s Donnel’s HP after like, 2 headbutts.



...Tempting.




But KataraniSword wants to call the Tricky Mush SSX, in honor of NBA Jam.




Well, we have 10 monsters now, so even if Sharron were here to object, she’d have no grounds! Take that, wife!

The honeymoon phase was pretty short for this one.




More watering and sleeping.



And we’ve got paydirt! Also a free skill up in Camping!




So, what’s behind Door #1?




A pool of water.

Wow, fuck you, Rune Factory. If this was one room before this! I mean, it wasn’t an issue for me, but those poor people who tried to water all 8 plots…




Can’t believe you’re pulling this shit right after Misty Bloom…

(My honeymoon phase with this game is also apparently ending)

Regardless, down the stairs is...




...Again?


: (I’ll need to find the key to get past here. Maybe Sharron knows something.)

So, I’ll admit, at this point I was worried. Because since Sharron’s intro glitched out, maybe the flag for this conversation wouldn’t work and I couldn’t advance?




Thankfully, that wasn’t the case.

: A key to the Ruins? I read a slate that says the Golem is waiting in the ruins. But I haven’t figured out where the Golem is yet…

Well, next time, I guess we’re hunting down a Golem, and hopefully making some good progress in Kasimir Ruins.

I’d also like to note that you can’t actually grow cabbages in Kasimir due to the climate. I may have fucked up that thread title.