Part 40: Couple’s Therapy

Update 40: Couple’s Therapy

Well, the Kasimir Ruins are clear, and we’re rapidly approaching the end of Rune Factory.



Still, we’ve got a major sidequest to clear up before that happens, so most of today’s update will be devoted to that.




I wouldn’t worry about it, we aren’t even at the final dungeon.




Regardless of impending doom, the caves must be tilled for farmland I will never use. This trip isn’t so bad, especially because I already cleared a lot of the 100 tile requirement in that first locked-door room.



Also my current Hoe can be charged up to grab land in a 3x3 area. It makes this so much faster. There are additional levels for the tools, but they’re Forging only (mostly), so I may not get to them.




On my way through the cave, Donnel was critically bitten by this spider and immediately poisoned.




That’s how I knew he was the one.




Hecks the Hell Spider was contributed by Old Greg. Bold tags




I cured the poison, then another Hell Spider immediately spawned and reapplied it. I’m starting to see why I value the “swing sword like a madman” policy so much.



Speaking of annoying things.




I never really found Navi all that bad. AbstractBlacksmith suggested the name, at least. (shout out to TooMuchAbstraction for “Tingl” though, which also rules.)




Fairy melee attacks can Seal you. I didn’t mention it before because a Fairy probably isn’t gonna melee you unless you’re aggressively petting it.




Glad I still had a Horrifying Lip Orb on hand to cure it.



Let’s see if there’s any more Magic to disappoint us.




Jackpot.




Also, Ominous Things!




My wallet bleeds, but we must show off all the shitty magic. Plus I’ve bought pretty much everything worth buying.





At least they’re straightforward about it. It’s still not a good explanation of what the spell does, though.




And, since we’re approaching the end, I should grab the other good spell in this game, Cure.




Cure is so cool I can just show it off in the middle of the library. See that gap in my HP bar?




Not anymore! For the same RP price as Medicate, Cure will heal 250 HP, compared to the latter’s 80. It’s a big bonus. It does nothing to status effects, though, so it’s good to have both on hand.




That should be enough of a boost to the arsenal to grab the pass to the next cave.



I’m not sure how he figured that out, all we found was a giant robot. A cool robot. I wish I could have kept Golem.


: I received unconfirmed reports stating that they moved large weapons into Danaan Cave.


: I’ll go and investigate.


: Are you sure?


: Positive.


: Right. I’m issuing you with a pass to Danaan Cave. Good luck, Donnel. I’m relying on you.


: Got it.




Maybe we’ll actually see them this time.




Godwin, you should probably get a message to the King or something...get some kind of defenses...tell Jasper they have food...you’ve got options.





Always stately, that Godwin.



But we require more monsters to give silly names to, before any town saving business. Need more space.




I’ve also been using swords the whole game, so I wanted to switch things up a bit. I want to try out a Spear while I’m in Danaan, and we don’t have a Water Element weapon yet. So this seems like an attractive choice.




Have to buy the Spear from Leo, all the other ingredients I already have on hand.



After clearing Kasimir, Leo upgrades his inventory for a final time, and wow, there’s some good stuff in there! This Alldale, for example. But it’s 70k...maybe another time.

Before I make that Water Spear, I’d like to take a moment to point out something I noticed with Rune Factory’s crafting system.




So, in Decorations, the Feathered Cap can be made at 20 Skill, but requires a Fancy Hat. How do you get a Fancy Hat?



Craft it at...54 Skill.

This game never stops being surprising.




Regardless, here’s the dang Spear.



The Spear’s moveset is very simple. You move forward a little and thrust. That’s it. That’s the whole combo.




It has a decent attack value, though, and the potential to Seal monsters, which could come in handy against some of Danaan’s enemies. It also has a charge attack.




Which is a GIANT stab that ended up sending me right into Sharron. Donnel should not be allowed to practice his weapon skills inside the house. I doubt she minds, though, because I’m fairly sure she’s incorporeal.




I took it to a safer location. The reach is good, I’m hitting that spawner and both Dark Slimes from here. Also a level up!




Now then, Magic...first up is Quake!




The screen wobbles violently for several seconds as Donnel stands there not doing much of anything. Those little rock JPGs also pop up. This does AOE damage to a whole screen, which is good! But it’s not very much, and the RP cost is 17 of your (permanent) max 100. That’s way too much. For reference, Cure and Medicate rest at 6.




Maybe this prize will raise my spirits.



Shit.



It’s alright, though, we’ve got another spell. Explosion!




It shoots a little nova in front of you that blows up. Unfortunately, 27 damage is sorta nothing at this point, and the RP cost of 10 isn’t great. Fire’s also not a hard element to come by.




The effect is cool, though.




5 damage




Enough tormenting the Gigantus’, though, let’s recruit one.



Well. Tiny was the name suggested by Zanzibar Ham, but the game has preempted the joke. I didn’t even alter this one at all. So I guess we have to credit That Poor Guy On The Dev Team Who Had To Default Name All The Monsters




Ah, shit. I got a Packun Box and named it OmNom, as requested by BlackPersona, but I missed the screenshot.




See? I totally did it.




The Monster Box has a hilariously default name, and I was almost tempted to keep it.




Thankfully ajkalan was here to suggest Hope for the classy Pandora’s Box reference, raising the sophistication of this LP. Everything would be named “BUTT” or something without the help of you posters.

...Remind me to dig up my original Rune Factory cartridge and look at the names on it from like 6 years ago before the end of the LP.




Enough joking around, though, time to get SERIOUS and SIDEQUESTY. If you’ll remember way back when, Sabrina told us she’d buried Stoller’s Chalice in these ruins:



So naturally, from here…




You have to go up, right, down a hallway, through a room, and investigate these two statues.

...That hint was not remotely accurate.




I’ll take it, though.

: (I’d better tell Sabrina.)




Here’s the magical shot glass itself.




I took it to Neumann first, though, because he has special dialogue!


: That’s...that’s Stoller’s chalice? You found it? Thanks, Donnel!


: It’s nothing. Especially if it helps you get back with Sabrina!


: This time, I’ll do it properly. I certainly won’t be drinking alcohol from it.


: Make sure you don’t!


: Okay! I got it! Oh, Donnel, could you give the chalice to Sabrina?

I do all the work in this relationship I’m not even in.







: Yeah, this is it.


: I don’t believe you actually found it!


: Can you and Neumann get back together now?


: Ohh...Finally...I feel like a weight was taken off me after all these years!


: I’m so pleased for you.

Don’t rush things, Donnel, I’m sure they’ll work this out at their own pace.


: Thank you, Donnel!




And by that I of course mean the wedding starts IMMEDIATELY after that conversation ends.




Neumann is totally stealing Donnel’s look there.


: Do you, Sabrina, take Neumann to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?





: Very well. You may now kiss the bride.

A friend of mine proposed recently and I’m kind of shocked that I haven’t been teleported to the chapel yet. It’s been more than a day.


: By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.



Okay, so she is his mom? Who is Nicholas’ birth dad? I’m so lost.


: That’s right. So go easy on him, okay?


: I will! Besides, we’re already friends!

: Oh, right. Ha ha ha.




: Thanks. We owe a lot to you, Donnel!


: Yes, without you, Donnel, I probably couldn’t have remarried.




Donnel you did everything, just accept the compliment.


: Thank you, Donnel. We’re so glad you did.


: Enjoy your new life living together!


: Actually, we’re both still going to live in our own homes...at least for the time being.

: Oh?


: We both have our own shops to run, you see. But I’m sure we’ll build a huge brand new house soon, right Neumann?




Enjoy the wood grind motherfucker

: Ha ha ha! May you live happily ever after!




Wait a second...that’s the same thing you said at Donnel’s wedding. Jean!

The rest of the wedding is the same as the player character’s. Every character comes out, in pretty much the same order, and says something. I’ve cut the verbatim repeats because this is getting long already, and the rest is pretty dull anyway, TBH. Skip the rest of the update if you don’t like random dialogue.


: Congratulations. I’m so happy for you!


: Congratulations! May the three of you be happy!


: Congratulations. When are you to have your next child?

Edward, chill out.


: Congratulations. I really like Sabrina’s wedding dress! It’s so original!

Zavier’s a fashion designer? Huh. Hidden depths.


: So, you’re back together again? Well, that’s good too. Congratulations.


: I’m glad Nicholas is so happy too!


: Congratulations. There’s nothing wrong with getting remarried!

I don’t think anyone said there was, Ivan. Is this some passive-aggressive shit?

: Congratulations. I never expected Sabrina and Neumann to get married!


: No matter how many times you have them, weddings are always cause for celebration!


: Your second marriage, hm? I think it’s a good thing. Thank you… You’ve given me courage!


: Congratulations. I hope your future will be glorious!


: Congratulations, and good luck!


: Well, well. This is wonderful! Congratulations!


: Congratulations. The two of you look wonderful!


: Congratulations. May your future be blessed with happiness.










And, just like with your own wedding, it boots you out at Noon the next day.

Well, that’s the game’s biggest sidequest done. There’s no reward for it, nothing really changes, but it’s there. Next time we’ll get started on Danaan and see if the Sechs Empire is hiding nuclear missiles in a bear den or some shit.