The Let's Play Archive

SD Snatcher

by Slowbeef

Part 17: 16. "The people who run this place must really be into old-time nostalgia."

16. "The people who run this place must really be into old-time nostalgia."

Well, this is a problem. Gilian has just violated one of the five major rules of Junker. Also, he's a murderer.

Pfft! Hey Metal, I hate to tell you, but this "quick assumption" strategy you've adopted isn't quite going so well. Can we please look for some sunscreen or something?

Oh, and why would that be?

As if a further kick in the balls, not only is your boss going to chew you out, but you have to switch disks.

You know, I really can't do much to defend Gilian here. I mean, it's like, "Hey, that's guy's a Snatcher. Shoot him."

"Well, okay!"

...Oh, wait, I'm actually the one who did that. Ha! I'm such a character.

Metal: Gilian, it was most recreational being your partner.
Gilian: Aw, Metal...

And with that, it's the ceremonial loose cannon turning in his gun, options, and navigator to his hard-ass "you have to go by the book and not kill priests" chief.

Okay, fine before I go-

Damn. I really just wanna touch that painting.

Et tu, Geoff?

Gilian: Can I at least get a refund for all the guns I bought? ...Guys?

Gilian: I... I can't believe this has all happened... wait, Jamie? Where's Jamie?

Gilian: I don't care about medical treatment. Where's my wife?

Gilian: It's... hard to explain. Mika, if you see Jamie... tell her I said... tell her I said I'm sorry.

Gilian: I will. Thanks, Mika. It was good working with you.

Gilian: Jamie?

Jamie: You can't give up.

Gilian: You're right. If I can definitely link Rob and Lisa as Snatchers, maybe I can get my job back and my name cleared.

Wait, I'm sorry, what?

I'd point out that SD Snatcher just made a really lame "woman driver" joke, but I'm still a little stunned, I mean...

Damn, son.

Jamie takes us to North Downtown.

And states the obvious- well, actually, people are always doing that to Solid Snake, so I guess it only makes sense.

Now, I know you're thinking combat's going to be a little rough. Without weapons, we won't actually be able to attack any robots. Well, don't worry.

This never comes up.

Snake: Strange. The town seems to be pretty empty...

Ah, the receptionist.

Snake: This is Snake. Your reply, please?

Welcome to Church. I can promise this will become the bane of your existence.

And here's reason one. This is a multi-lock dungeon with 24 separate locks. Even worse, I didn't realize that the candles weren't important yet, so...

I went around putting them all out for no reason.

Snake: Christ's body? Wait... are you all worshipping Jesus? Or robots?
Worshipper: Well...
Snake: You know what? Never mind.

I have to admit, Cyborg Jesus does sound like a Metal Gear boss.

Snake: Magical effect?

It most certainly does. It resets the candles, according to GameFAQs. It's a pretty giant "fuck you," actually. It does it without warning and for no reason at all.

Snake: That makes six...

Snake: Eight...

Snake: Wesley? It's never easy to lose someone. But on the battlefield, death is unavoidable.
Worshipper: ...Excuse me?
Snake: Forget it.

Snake: Ten.
Worshipper: Why are you putting out all the candles?
Snake: Candles? It feels like the right thing to do.

Snake: Third floor?

Snake: That's about half of the candles.

Snake: Isn't soundproof?

Snake: Tired joke?

To hell with it.

Mass is about to begin.