Part 24: Episode XXIV: No Sell

Episode XXIV: No Sell



Now, where were we? Oh right... Zhuzhen was having another really bad day.


Music: Misfortune - Psycho Temple



I-I’ll be all right!! Y-you magic-sucking, half-pint, slicked-back bastard…
Hey. I know you're upset I sold the bar, but that's mean...
I think the old man is talking to me.
I was talking to him.
Oh... That makes more sense.
Heh. And I was thinking of allowing you a quick death. As usual, you had to go and say too much… I’ll cut off your limbs and serve them to Dehuai. And that wagging tongue of yours as well!
You're going to cut off my limbs and have me bleed all over your place just because you're getting mad? I see why this bar turned into such a dive.
Oh, it's fine. It's not like it'll be the first time. Right, Zhen?
<frown> I'll have Qiuhua go get the mops...
Ah, there they are!


Yuri and Qiuhua rush onto the scene.



Don’t tell me you’re half-dead? You hurt? This guy did this to you?
Heh… What’s the matter, kid? You sound like you’re actually starting to care about me or something.
Yeah, well... Don't let it go to your head.
Some of your friends, Zhuzhen? Poke around in other people’s business and you’re bound to get hurt. I’ll forgive you this intrusion. Get lost!
Great, another rambling jag-off. That crappy sorcerer sure has a mid-boss type he likes.

Yuri stands up and gets in Wugui's face.



I don’t care if you get down on your hands and knees, I won’t let you off the hook!
W-who are you?!
<waves a dismissal> Why would I tell you?! It doesn’t matter anyway, since you’re going to die right here! You really are dumb!
(Why am I getting an awful sense of déjà vu...?)
<nervous laugh> Wh-wh-wh… What an amusing joke!! A… all right, fool! We’ll see who’s about to die!!
You, dumbass! We've discussed this.
No, I meant that I am—wait... I've DONE this before! But where...?
...
......
...Shit.




Music: Brain Hopper





Time for Yuri vs. Wugui of Kowloon. Perhaps this will go slightly better than Zhuzhen's attempt.



Wugui doesn't mess about this fight. He immediately goes for the throat and attempts to take out Yuri with his Game of Death.



...OK.



You just stood there for a minute and then kicked the air... I don't get what you were going for, guy.
I see. You, too, are protected by the darkness!!



Well, I mean that's true of Yuri in his current form. But we can always switch that up. While Yuri is immune to Wugui's one hit KO, there's still nothing we can do about his absorption of magical attacks. So, let's switch over to something that packs a bit more punch, eh?



And then let's buff our punching potential to the maximum. We need to beat 333 HP out of Wugui. Which is the same amount he had when he fought Papa Hyuga fifteen years ago. Yuri still has about 25 Levels to grind if he wants this to be that much of a stomp match. But we'll be fine.







The remainder of this fight just turns into Yuri and Wugui exchanging punch combos to each other's faces. Turns out an eight-foot-tall, burly fire elemental with four arms can outpunch a short guy from Hong Kong that ate some Gum-Gum Fruit. It's got to be really embarrassing every 15 years to have a Hyuga show up on your turf and just completely whip your ass.


Music: Results



He even steals Wugui's wallet while he's at it. The guy shouldn't have been carrying around that much spending money if he didn't want to get mugged.



Also, for defeating Wugui in a fist fight, we get this extremely specific use case item. This sounds like it might be useful in some scenario where, I don't know, Wugui fought an entire party and could use his OHKO on people who were not immune to it. Except that scenario assumes we wouldn't be finding items that straight up defend against instant death by the point that would come up. The game will not be presenting such a scenario...

As soon as the battle ends, Margarete and Alice run onto the scene.


Music: Misfortune - Psycho Temple



F-fusion!! Y-you… you’re… a demon…!
Oh no, you're gonna hurt my feelings saying stuff like that while I'm standing over here with a 4-0 record against Dehuai lackeys.
I changed my mind! I’m not going to kill you anymore, so you run along to Dehuai… Since I’m here, he better hide his girlie magazines, ‘cause he could get killed any day now!
Nnngh… Things’ll go a bit differently next time, kid!!
Uh-oh. Are you gonna have a second powered-up form? Or maybe throw one of those Yamaraja dudes at me?
...N-no. Forget this!



Wugui OUT.

Music: ENDS



<weakly stands up> Ugh... I’ll be all right… Heh heh heh. Not to sound ungrateful for your help, but… couldn’t you have come just a little sooner…? Hey, I think I’m having déjà vu… Urgh… owww…
<approaches Yuri> Arrgg... No… What’s happening… I can’t believe it…


Music: Tanjou



There’s no mistaking it… His eyes… and his mouth… It’s an absolute likeness!! Like a twin…
Psst... Alice? Zhuzhen? Who is this senile old guy...?
It’s as if he’s alive… and… grew to be this grand… ohh… urggh…
<turns to Alice> Hey, he’s crying! Er… What should I do?
<confused shrug> Maybe give him a hug...?
Naw... I don't even know who this guy IS!
Master Zhuzhen, is he…?
Heh heh heh… You guess right, Qiuhua, Zhen. Let me introduce you. The kid’s name is Yuri. It’s a memento from Colonel Ben Hyuga!!
Hunh?!
Err... Did I miss something sleeping in...?
I told you he didn't hear any of that.
<concerned hum> Yeah...

Sometime later... Back at the party's hotel room.



Ever since then, I accompanied him in his travels. We opened a shop in Shanghai because he said we should make this our base of operations… But in fact, he did it out of concern for young Qiuhua.
Am I supposed to know who that is...?
That's me.
Ah right. You're the one that ran out hollerin' about how the old quack was getting his ass handed to him.
That's not how I said it at all.
I can read between the lines.
Each summer, father left the village for work. Then he returned just before winter began. But there was that one year… A cold winter arrived, and snow was falling. But no sign of father… And instead, what came to our village was… Hmph… Forget it…
See I can trail off on key backstory too...
I heard that the colonel had a Russian wife. And that they had a young son. But… I had no idea… that he would be alive…
Gee, thanks.
…My mother died. Heheh, but just my luck, I had to outlive them.
<steps forward> How can you say that? I haven’t been this thrilled in my life. And how happy Zhuzhen must be as well!
Oh yeah, gramps... We need some words.
<sigh> Here we go...



But you kept quiet the whole time!! Whether it’s about my father, or me, or whoever else…
…
Why is everyone so damn secretive!! Why?? Tell me, you stupid old man!!
I was over the old guy who's read ahead in the script routine since we first met. Time to knock it off for real!
<runs up to Yuri> Stop it, Yuri! Zhuzhen was agonizing over it all the time. He didn’t know how to tell you. So, please…!
Wait, when did he tell you about this crap...?
While you were sleeping.
Didja all sneak off to hear stories about my old man while I was napping?
No. We were standing... actually, literally exactly where we are standing right now. You are... a VERY heavy sleeper, Yuri...
Oh that's rich coming out of you after you fell dead asleep on a park bench for hours.
_{They don't need to hear about that...}



Zhuzhen!!
What did you say?! Those could be your last words!
...OK, that part I didn't hear about...
I first met Hyuga fifteen years ago, here in Shanghai.
When he saved you from that Wugui man and gave you a piggyback to safety!
Pfft... Really? Ergh... I mean, keep talkin'!
I didn't feel that was important information here. Let me continue...

Zhuzhen sighs and looks out the window.



We spent much time tracking Dehuai. Finally, we learned what the Demon’s Gate Invocation was. We hit Dehuai’s stronghold, the Kuihai Tower, and finally defeated him. It was a fierce battle.
So then, the man you told me about in Dalian was…
<turns to Yuri and nods> That’s right. I was talking about your father. Hyuga put his life on the line and stopped the cursed Valorization.
Then… my father died, eh…
…
Yuri… Please forgive Zhuzhen… Zhuzhen didn’t want to get involved in the same fight your father got pulled into. I can fully understand Zhuzhen’s feelings. If I were him, I would’ve done the same thing.

Yuri kicks the wall. Music: ENDS.



Yuri...
Zhuzhen. If Dehuai is trying to repeat the same mistake he attempted fifteen years ago… Then the next target is surely Master Xifa!!


Music: Much Hatred Still Rankles



Y-you’re right!! How could I have been so dense?!
Don’t shout like that all of a sudden! You wanna scare me half to death?!
Gah! When did you get here!?
I've been here the entire time. It's been REALLY awkward, let me tell you!
…But that temple is the holiest place in Nine Heavens Taoism. It’s protected by Master Xifa himself. Even that miserable fool Dehuai should know better than to mess with that place.
Master Xifa?
Yeah. He was my teacher... a mangy old goat. He’s the protector of the underground temple at Wuhan.
YOU are calling someone a mangy old goat? What is he? Like a hundred years old?
108 this year, if I remember correctly.
...Oh. Huh.
…And here’s the rub. The White Tiger is ensconced there… one of the Gods of the Four Directions.
At first, the White Tiger picture was kept elsewhere, but to keep it from falling in Dehuai’s hands… Colonel Hyuga placed it in the care of Master Xifa.
Which means… Dehuai’s plotted out this scheme far more carefully than before… And if that’s what he’s called in Wugui for, then it’s all beginning to make sense.


Zhuzhen focuses on Yuri.



How about you, Yuri? Do you have the guts to walk your father’s path?
My… My father’s path?
The one I just got tossed on my lap like a minute ago now that we're in the thick of it...? That path...?
<points to Yuri> It will be a difficult and painful road. And when you arrive, you may find nothing but despair and ruin. Are you up to the challenge?! Huh?! What do you say?!
Zhuzhen! H-how can you ask such a thing of him?!
<looks to Qiuhua and slaps the air> Butt out, kid! We’ve got absolutely no time to waste!
<looks at Alice> This has been a race against time from the moment those bastards set their sights on Alice!!
Alice said that she could find out why her father died if she fought Dehuai. Right?
That isn't how I would put it, but...
<nods> Yes, that’s right.
<turns back to Zhuzhen> Pops, I… No matter what the cost, if I have a chance to see what my father saw, I won’t have a single regret. If that damn Dehuai really is going to release that Demon’s Gate Convocation upon us…
It's "Invocation."
I don't know what either of those words means! Doesn't matter...
I’ll do everything I can to make sure his little convocation is canceled once and for all!
<laughs> Heh heh… good for you, kid. And you can count on this broken-down old sage here to guide you through hell if need be.
Yeah, well... get it together. I don't care what my pops did. I ain't giving you any piggyback rides if you get wrecked.
<slowly turns head and glares at Alice>
_Sorry...


Margarete, looking for any excuse to get out of this conversation, notices something awry with the hotel room door and opens it. Kawashima The Smuggler Boss nearly trips into the room.


Music: Profile



Fancy meeting you all here again just when it sounds like you could use my services.
<gives a c'mon this fucking lady motion> You!! You were listening in again, weren’t you?!
No! No, I wasn’t! I just… happened to overhear.
With your ear up against the door!?
Well, I... err... heard a loud noise. Like something being kicked. I wanted to be sure there wasn't any trouble, you see...
Oh hey, that was me. My bad!
Seems like a reasonable response.
Sorry for the noise!
Are you all for real right now!?
<shrugs and shakes head> How incredibly suspicious you are! Now I’m SURE I don’t like you.
<shrugs and walks into the room> Now, now. Don’t get so angry.




I hear Dehuai has sent his men to Wuhan. And that’s not all! The Japanese military troops that were secretly stationed in Shanghai have been secretly sent to Wuhan, too!
Sounds like the beautiful and talented regional Japanese Army leader is onto the plot. You'll have to hurry if you want to get ahead of her movements!
What?!
<incredulous gesture> Hey! How is that you know about Dehuai… let alone movements of the Japanese Army?!
<turns to Margarete> Hee hee! We in the smuggling business can get our hands on a lot of underground information.
You need to hang onto the secrecy of your contacts if you want to get ahead in this business. You understand, right?
<shrug> Something smells here… But if you’re trying to help us, I suppose I ought to thank you.
I got my eye on you...
<turns back to the rest of the group> Well, and here I went to all the trouble of gathering information I thought you could use! Yuri, Zhuzhen, what shall we do? There isn’t much time left.
I got my hands on a vehicle that'll let you get there ahead of the army. Parked it just up the street. Great, huh?
<suspicion intensifies> Hmm...



Don’t you think that even for a great Adept like yourself, he’ll be an awfully tough opponent?
<nods> Well… I suppose you’re right…
Zhuzhen, we’ll go with you to Wuhan!
No, Zhen. You and Qiuhua stay here and gather as much information as you can. We need this place to be the base of our activities again!
You've got the bar back now that Hyuga's son has beaten Wugui, right?
Zhuzhen…
That... isn't how business ownership works. There's a ton of paperwork filing, and I'd need to get the deed to have it signed over and—
Nah. I think I beat that guy's ass hard enough he won't come back. I'm not sure what we're talking about either, so don't quote me on that...
...
Wait here, and rest assured… We won’t let them touch the White Tiger!
Yuri… Okay, I understand. Qiuhua, let’s get back to the shop. Ah yes, before you leave Shanghai, stop by our place.
Be careful, Uncle Zhuzhen! Come back safe!



Boy, will we ever get ready. Tune in next time as the gang does some shopping, gets a few upgrades and Yuri gets involved in an underground pit fighting tournament as Shadow Hearts continues!






Video: Wugui Boss Battle





Li Zhuzhen Portrait – It's amazing how he keeps that monocle and hat on straight despite all these ass kickings.