Part 33: Episode XXXIII: Puppet

Episode XXXIII: Puppet


Music: Someone's Table



<scans the area> This is Wugui’s room?! What does that guy do every day?!
I was expecting like skeevy porn stuff at worse. Not uhh... I don't got a word for this...
<shakes head> I don’t get it. Wugui’s just a small-time gangster boss. But this stuff looks like he’s been working with black magic and voodoo.
This ain't wholesome Taoist magic junk?
95% too much meat for that, kid. Western folk has the market down on weird bio-organic nonsense.
Exactly so, Master Zhuzhen.





Music: Wind Which Blows From the Dark II



So it was you behind all this!
What the HELL, dude!?
Heh heh heh. While I was here, I rented space in order to conduct experiments… But I do wonder if perhaps I overdid it a little. I suppose this isn’t easy work. Yet I still must find a container to use as the vessel of life.
You… used Wugui as the subject for your experiments?! What the Devil are you scheming?
<motions to meat wall> Yeah, so that doesn't explain ANY of this...
In any case, you couldn’t possibly comprehend it anyway. Oh, yes. Since you have taken the trouble to come here, why don’t I treat you to a little bit of fun…
Mildly baffled as to why you came all the way out here, to begin with, but I try not to focus on the details. So, enjoy yourselves...
With the new life I have created. Step forward, Wugui.



Wugui?!
Not a fan of this man but... yeesh!
I'm more and more regretting hanging out with you lot.
MURDEROUS INTENT!
Wha...?




Music: NDE - Near Death Experience





Welcome to the Cursed Puppet fight. It is... basically just Yamaraja: War with its stats boosted a bit. Cursed Puppet has 1080 HP versus its previous incarnation's 840. Other than that, it is literally just the same exact fight with a different skin.



So, our first order of business is naturally shifting over to the Inferno Fusion and queueing up Fighting Spirit. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Much like every other Wugui fight, we're limited to fisticuffs only. Even in his new undead state, Wugui of Kowloon still absorbs all special attack energy. As such we're limited to just smacking him with our physical strikes and nothing else.



Speaking of things that ain't broke, Wugui, of course, opens this fight his first move by trying Game of Death again. Sorry, pal...



...We figured that one out like two matches ago. I know you're mortally challenged at the moment, but you really need to get with the program in that being a wasted turn at this point.





So, there's not really much left to say about this fight. It is literally Yamaraja: War with Wugui's standard skin and its stats buffed. But by now we've also gained a couple levels since then grinding through Kowloon Fortress City's rather hearty rogue's gallery. We can only hit him with our standard attacks. Which means Yuri is doing most of the work with Margarete on the assist.



Wugui's physical strikes REALLY hurt here. Especially if he decides to do an entire weird Stretch Armstrong combo in one go. That can burn up to 80+ HP on a single character.





Other than that, Cursed Puppet still has the Nightmare full party Dark elemental attack. This is mildly a problem if we're not quick because when he gets to around 33% HP, Wugui just spams Nightmare non-stop each turn and that's about 60+ damage to the entire party every time.







But you know what, Wugui of Kowloon? We've done this whole song and dance before. Let's just cut to the chase here. It's bad enough we wasted an entire day sailing here to kick your butt one more time.

Music: ENDS



Hey! That's my fake line for dying characters!

Wugui flops over dead.





Here lies Wugui of Kowloon. He was in Kowloon when he died. Name checks out. I cannot tell you why he exploded into a cloud of poo gas. Folk from Hong Kong are just peculiar like that.



Bacon!
Wugui was one thing. The HELL is going on with the rest of this room?
Oh... That... Hmph.
Oh! That’ll be all for today. Goodbye, folks. ‘Til next time!
What!? You can't just peace out and not tell us anything.
Oh, I assure you I can...
That'd really be lame!
<shrug> I don't see how this is my problem.





Roger Bacon out! Nobody is pleased with this outcome. Why is there a nightmare meat room that seems like something out of Parasite Eve or late game Resident Evil? Don't worry about that! Roger Bacon is up to some fucked up shit, but he has no obligation or notion to share what that's all about at this juncture!



Anyway, other than examining this table and one of the shelves which will make an animated gif of a brain in a jar... that's kind of it for Kowloon Walled City. Well... Wugui of Kowloon is confirmed dead. Hopefully, Alice cannot claim the same as we wasted a couple days down this dead end...


Music: Heaven - Kungyang Kungyang





Apparently, Wugui's presence was the only thing keeping the random battle trash mobs stationed in Kowloon. So, it's a clear shot with pleasant music and zero fights on the way out of here. Everyone back in the opening courtyard has some new dialog on the way out. So, let's chat them up before shipping off back to Shanghai.



You might wanna get an adult to clean out a few of those rooms. Especially, Wugui's old haunt.
Why? What's wrong with Lord Wugui's room?
<rubs neck> Well... I'm not good with words and I'm not gonna drop an f-bomb on a child...



Life Goals.



Well, I didn't get attacked by any random monsters on the way out so... maybe? I'm getting on a ship and never coming back here in like 10 minutes so don't quote me on that.



What?! You say there aren't any more monsters coming? W-what are you people?!
I can turn into monsters, she is a super spy and the old guy is just old... possibly magic.
...And where did you people come from?
Shanghai. It's a long story. We gotta go back there now...
...O...K?





Alright. That's it for our field trip to Kowloon Fortress. Tune in next time as we actually go do what we ought to be doing and complete the first act of Shadow Hearts in Chapter 10: Kuihai Showdown! Spoilers: You're not gonna read about this one in the history books...





That wasn't technically a chapter as defined by getting to the world map and making a save with a title like Chrono Trigger/Cross or Xenogears does. But it was enough of its own thing to pretty much count! So, let's see what ghouls we've encountered in that weird side story in Hong Kong.

MONSTER:



Also, no dick. So that's problematic for its existence.



The sewers of Fengtian runs 3000 kilometers away to Kowloon!?



It wears bondage clothes.



It is SO talented swinging that club around. You don't even know.



Nobody likes to talk about how much of a weird loser Shonen protagonists would be if they encountered normal people.



An ire for tourists made manifest. I can respect that.



It yelled BARF right before it died, so I dunno if I believe that one.




Video: Cursed Puppet Boss Battle





Wugui of Kowloon Portrait – Don't ask me why he is being vexed by flying squirrels. That just happens occasionally in Hong Kong.