Part 43: Accounting Errors

Part 43 - Accounting Errors




It's time to take another brief trip into the ~Non-Canon Zone~ in order to cover the two other ways we could've handled the end of Blitz's personal mission.

It should be noted that getting the "best" resolution requires finding the three clues relating to Plotz and Grinder. If you find two or fewer, Blitz in his eagerness to send Hasenkamp to an early retirement will have none of it:


I can't prove it, but I have the feeling that there's something fishy going on here.

Quit stalling, chief. Push the button already! We can't chance him getting away.

Shut up and listen to me, Blitz. I've found clues--

That prove nothing, by your own admission. Now, chief, come on... we don't have a lot of time. Do this. I'm asking you as a friend.

Someone's forgetting their place. Well screw Blitz, if he's not gonna listen to us then we're not gonna listen to him.

[Step back.] I won't kill a man without just cause. And you haven't convinced me of anything, Blitz.

[He groans.] That was a mistake, chief. I mean, seriously.

I'll just pretend that I didn't hear that.

[He turns to leave.]

Oh, and... good call, Rosa. You just saved yourself a world of hurt.

Get out of here. Take the box to Grinder, and tell him that Blitz's debt is settled.

Done and done.

See, it's totally fine. When we get outta here, you'd best be groveling and apologizing profusely for all the crap you've pulled today, Blitz.



That's funny though, pretty sure we're supposed to be on the other side of that thing before it closes again.



What...?



Aw man, backstabbing we're used to but do you have any idea how much Blitz is going to rub this in our face now?

And speaking of which...





Now here's someone who definitely didn't make an appearance last time, hard to miss a lad of that size.



Grinder.

[The name comes out in a hushed voice. Blitz sounds terrified.]

[Whisper.] *That* is Meat Grinder? Blitz, that has to be the least intimidating troll I've ever seen.

Don't underestimate him. Remember the box of thumbs that I got in the mail? I mean, *thumbs,* chief! How creepy is *that?*

Okay. I'll give you the "thumbs" thing. That doesn't change the fact that he looks like he's about to keel over right here in the lobby.

[Hasenkamp steps forward.] Mr. Grinder. I have the box.

So you do.

[His voice is deep and breathy. He sounds distinctly unhealthy.]

Hand it here, my friend.



Once we get out of here we'll show you "personal" you rotten





Welp nevermind, turns out the big man was packing an Ares Plot Pistol, famed and feared for its power to take out anyone in a single shot as long as they're currently engaged in dialogue or other plot-related activity. Poor bastard never had a chance against one of those.

That takes care of that. Y'know, I should thank you... you've helped me kill two birds with one stone. I've got the box, and Hasenkamp is gone.

How wonderful for you.

[He offers you a sickly grin.] It is, isn't it? I get everything I want, and you take the fall for it. That's what's happening here, by the way. In case you hadn't guessed.

You son of a bitch. I trusted you, Grinder!

So did Hasenkamp.

[The troll leers at you through the security grate.]

Look where that got him.

Kinda with Meat Grinder on this one, he's probably the least trustworthy-looking guy we've met and we get betrayed like three times a week. Last time being literally like two minutes ago. ...We need to find a better line of work.

You've got the upper hand here. I get that. But I have friends, Grinder... if I go down tonight, you'll be joining me in short order.

If you had that kind of muscle, you should've used it to take me out from the get-go. Oh, well. Live and learn.

At least tell me something. Why did you want Hasenkamp dead?



Alright, enough of this crap. Screwing over Hasenkamp and Blitz is one thing, can't say they didn't have it coming, but we didn't endure those two all night just for some obese bastard to try and kneecap us right before the finish line.

Hey, Grinder... speaking of Blitz, there's something else that I think he can give you. Consider it compound interest on his loan.

[Meat Grinder raises an eyebrow, his jowls quivering.]

Oh? And what might that be?

[Push the button.] About twenty kilos of lead.



...Oh.



At least he died surrounded by what he loved, the sound of grinding meat.

For completion's sake, here's another way the above conversation can potentially go as it branches quite a bit:


That takes care of that. Y'know, I should thank you... you've helped me kill two birds with one stone. I've got the box, and Hasenkamp is gone.

Glad I could be of help. If you'd be so kind as to let me out of here, I'll just be on my way.



I don't talk. I'm not a rat.

I know that. But sadly, your friend Blitz is. I'm not gonna kill you, Rosa. I won't even take your thumbs. But the Landenbergs' security... well, I can make no such promises about them.

Don't do this, Grinder.

They should be here any minute. Enjoy.

[Meat Grinder turns to leave, the plastic box cradled in his arms. Hasenkamp's body lies cooling on the ground.]

I'm gonna give you one more chance to open that door and let me out of here.

Oh yeah?

[His doughy face contorts itself into a grin.]

And what'll you do if I don't?

[Push the button.] This.



Still satisfying the second time.



Go ahead.

First off: I told you so.

Yeah, you did. Sorry.

Secondly: I think that I can get you out of there, but it's gonna take some time. And you've got a bunch more physical security incoming. Thankfully, I still have control of those turrets, so that should make this a piece of--



Think we already know where this is going.

...Blitz?





Great.



This timeline also finds us accosted by a group of Landenberg thugs, but this time we're on our own for obvious reasons. The Enforcer is missing from the enemy lineup to balance things out some, but by my math one against three are still worse odds than two against four, especially since the 65 HP Captain and Grenadier are still around.



The Matrix fight against Plotz is identical except for whatever reason the node controls are reversed from before, with Blitz controlling the ones on the right and Plotz the ones on the left. This time around Plotz also got the first turn, which made things a bit more annoying.



The meat space strategy is unchanged from before, but if you were playing a worse solo class like a Shaman then this could get pretty hairy. The turrets are obviously nice and arguably necessary for less capable combatants, but they have a hard time punching through heavier armor like the Captain's, doubly so when the target is behind cover.



Eventually Plotz goes down like the poor excuse of a cyberwarrior he is, but this time he leaves something behind for Blitz to pick up.



A digital avatar dropping a program like a piece of loot is a new one, but I'm sure it makes sense in-universe. An unmistakable aura of a consolation prize can be felt around this piece of Schrödinger's software.



A second group follows the first just like before, getting greeted the same way by the enthusiastic turrets. This bunch is missing the Captain who was there the last time which is quite welcome.



We deal with them the usual way. While it may not otherwise reflect reality, Leyline-boosted fire burns just as hot in the Non-Canon Zone.



Bad news, Blitz. That Mystery Box of yours is no more.



It's nice that you don't have to walk away with nothing even if you didn't manage to do this mission the "right" way. You always get either the mystery box or the program, though never both.

Yeah, sounds wiz. Oh, and Blitz...?

Yeah, chief?

When I get home, we're going to have a talk about your planning abilities.

Um. Okay. Sounds... sounds good.



And so this chain of betrayals has reached its inevitable end, all that scheming and subterfuge earning these two nothing but early graves. A tale as common as dirt, here in the shadows.


****





Now what if we just saved ourselves all that trouble and went for a more pre-emptive approach?


[Push the button.] Blitz is my friend. I trust his word over yours, Hasenkamp.





His line's slightly different if you take this path after already having figured out what's really going on:




You're going to die, Hasenkamp. Blitz, you may fire when rea--

[Blitz's voice crackles in over your commlink.]

Uh, chief? There’s somebody in here with me… hey! Get away from that!



Aw, hell.





We know how this goes. Plotz makes his appearance, gets cyberbullied out of his own system and Blitz takes control of the turrets. Plotz also drops the program which bodes ill for poor innocent box whose only crime was being in the wrong safe at the wrong time.



The major difference between this and the previous path is that neither Meat Grinder nor the Landenberg goons make an appearance. Instead the climactic battle will be a one-on-one fight against Hasenkamp, who for some reason has gotten extra HP but lost all his armor during his transition to villainhood. Can you sense a duel for the ages brewing, a clash of the titans, history in the making?



Well I sure hope not because Hasenkamp's odds at beating us in single combat are about the same as, well, an accountant's when going against a powerful mage. His role at this point is pretty much to provide an easy mode conclusion to this mission in case you can't handle the difficulty spike that is the Landenberg assault. What a fall from grace, guess the grandkids are going to have to make do with audiobooks from now on.



Otherwise the conclusion's the same as in the previous path, though I personally call bullshit on the box being destroyed by turret fire when its carrier went down before a single turret even got a turn. I guess this is also the only path where Blitz doesn't get to say "I told you so" which arguably makes for the best outcome of them all.



That covers the alternate conclusions to this particular run, we'll return to reality and go over the different rewards next time.