Part 13: Dead Men Tell No Tales

There's one more area in Yarai that hasn't been explored yet: the sprawling Chinatown. Let's check in with them, shall we?



BGM: Chinatown
MUSIC: Wandering Hell

Looks like a nice enough place. There's even a restaurant.





CHINESE MAN: The Szechuan restaurant is closed today. With everything in Chinatown going out of business, we're going to go bankrupt soon.

That's not good. I kinda have a feeling that we're going to get ourselves wrapped up in this all too soon.



: I've got something good for you today. It's from a man named Chen in Chinatown.

There we go.

: It seems Chinatown was suddenly overrun with demons, and Guan Di is causing a disturbance over at the shrine. So, will you take care of Guan Di for him?

Bah, why the hell not.



>YES
NO

: That's what I like to hear. I'm sure you can calm down Guan Di somehow, right?

Shouldn't be too bad, if it's anything like it was when I visited. Which it obviously isn't.

DUNGEON 14 - CHINATOWN
New demons:
Xiuhtecuhtli Oumitsunu Culebre Berserker
Macabre Ammut Kudlak

BGM: Otherworld Dungeon 4

So, I'd wager that every RPG has "that dungeon." You know the one: the one that you dread playing, that you think about before deciding to replay the game, whose name makes you shudder.

Chinatown is "that dungeon."

I'll borrow a map to fully illustrate this point.



This dungeon has a whopping twenty-four warps, most of which you aren't going to actually use to get to the boss. None of the other dungeons have that many; for example, the final dungeon only has fourteen. The entire map is bigger than some of the earlier dungeons' floors combined and to add to the confusion, this dungeon has four different entrances.

The absolute worst part of these warps is that there's no indication that you've warped. Remember how older dungeons used the dumb black screen to show that you've warped? Not here. This is all you get:



If you aren't paying enough attention, it's possible to not even realize that you've warped. Okay, that's sorta a lie. Most of the warps do this. For some reason, a few of them follow the old rules and do the black-out screen when warping. Why? Who knows.

Apparently either the fans complained enough or the developers wised up, because the Special Box edition of the game came with a map of Chinatown.



I've also seen the graphics described as "garish," "gaudy," and leading to a "loss of composure" by several Japanese gamers, though I'm personally unsure exactly why they chose to describe them like that. At least it's not a boring, copy-pasted cave or something.

I will give Chinatown one thing, though: it's not as bad if you know the exact route to use. In addition, the demons within aren't that much tougher than the last dungeon so its pain comes solely from its design.

Speaking of demons, let's do an enemy round-up.



First up is Kudlak, who bleached his hair and changed his cape for his Soul Hackers design. His archenemy Kresnik is also in this game, but is only available via fusion. Kudlak can ruin your day because of his Vamp-causing ability Blood Sucker.



Next up is Macabre and Berserker. Macabre's design has remained the same, but Berserker got an overhaul on his colors, changing him from jaguar to a panther. He mostly showed up in tandem with Amazon, probably because they both use physical attacks.



Another furry(?) friend is Ammut, who also changed to a darker hue for future games.



Last we have two stone beasts - Xiuhtecuhtli and Oumitsunu. Neither are much trouble to take care of.



Finally...after many, many warps...



I finally made it.



Fuck



China



town.

BGM: Conversation



GUAN DI: Fight...Fight...Do battle...with me...I will fight until your corpse lies at my feet...

Boss #16 - GUAN DI

BGM: Boss Battle

VS Hero Guan Di



Guan Di, known as Kantei Seikun in Japanese (and changed to Kansei Teikun in the PSP version), is a straight-up brawl. He only has one move, the healing Rest, and the only other thing in his arsenal is his regular attack.

Not that he needs anything else, with his attack at a good 23 power, almost 10 levels higher than any other boss, and the ability to hit up to 6 times per turn. Normally this translates to a tough battle, but there is an incredibly easy way to cheese this encounter.



All you need to do is use a move or item that reflects physical attacks. Congratulations, he can no longer hit you. Now all you need to do is pummel him until he goes down.

BGM: After the Battle



GUAN DI: ...I know not what I was doing. However, it seems that you have returned me to sanity, and for that I must thank you.
GUAN DI: There is an evil curse spreading throughout the land, one that is strong enough to rob me of my mind. This evil had long been sealed away, but it seems that there are those who wish to revive it once again.
GUAN DI: Your power will not be enough if you wish to stop their plot. Call upon me with the arcane art of fusion, and I shall lend you my strength...



Can't you just come with me instead? Seems easier. We can head back into the shrine if we want.



>Guan Di
The former hero Guan Yu, he is now worshiped as a god.

A quick trip to Marie's tells us that Chen will hand us our reward himself, so let's lead on over there.

BGM: Hagurumado Main Store



: Well, I really have to hand it to you for the work out there. I am Chen Jianmen. I help keep the peace in Chinatown. Marie and I are old acquaintances, and she referred me to you for my trouble. It seems that somebody is sending demons on a rampage, but us in Chinatown can't stay if we can't do business, and we can't do business if demons are just running amok.
: You truly helped us, and I really can't thank you enough. It may not be much, but I'd like you to accept this token of our gratitude. It's ￥50000.
: Well then, there is somebody I'd like to introduce you to...Come over here, Colonel.



: This is Cooper Smith, the colonel of the American forces stationed here in the Hirasaki JSDF base.

Are you ready for AMERICA? Smith here loves to use random instances of English, and his character profile states that his favorite food is hotdogs and his hobby is watching football. I'm surprised he didn't incorporate any good ol' red, white, and blue into his attire.



COOPER SMITH: I'm Cooper Smith, the commander in charge of the supply depot in the Hirasaki Base. It's good to meet you, Mister Kyouji Kuzunoha. You use demons to fight demons, right? I've got just the things you need.
: I'd like you to use our secret weapons. I want you to have them for helping out my old good friend Mister Chen. If you head west in the Yarai sewers, you'll end up underneath our weapons warehouse. You're welcome any time.



: Good for you, Kuzunoha. I'm glad that you and the Colonel were able to meet. Ah, here's your ID card. If you have this then you'll be able to get inside the base.

Remember back awhile when I entered the Yarai sewers and got yelled at in English and Japanese to get the hell out? Yeah, we can get it there now. The PSP version has a bug that allows you bypass locked doors, so if I was playing that version then I could have technically come in here before Chinatown.



SOLDIER: STOP! Stop right there! No one's allowed past without an ID.



SOLDIER: You've actually got an ID card? Heheheh, good on you. If you're here to see the Colonel, then head right on through.



SOLDIER: Hey you, did I hear that you actually fight with demons? And you got some powerful weapons from the Colonel? He must be good at business, if he can get some demon fighter like you to buy from him. But why'd he go around selling his wares to someone like you? It's not like any of the weapons actually belong to the Colonel.



BGM: Maruse Real Estate



: Ah, Mister Kyouji Kuzunoha. Good to see you made it here. This is a secret deal, so hurry up and tell me what you'd like.



Now that we've gotten past all that, we can buy guns and ammo from Cooper Smith. The catch? His wares suck. They're terrible and are actually worse than what you can get from Maruse, who is much more convenient. Frickin' Colonel, making me travel all over the sewers for nothing...



: Good luck, Mister Kyouji Kuzunoha.

Thanks.



SOLDIER: Here's a shortcut. Come again.

No thanks.

______________

Next update: We become conspiracy theorists.