Part 17: Not Now Dad, I'm Making a Ruler of Darkness Video

Hello everyone. Today's update doesn't cover very much ground, but quite a lot happens. Are you all ready?

Video:

We resume immediately on the other side of the door we ended on last time. The video shows the impending boss fight as well.



: Well if it isn't Kyle's lapdog, the traitor Douchebag.



: (idle) I thought we were friends!
: (idle) I shall smite you with the hammer of forgiveness.
: (idle) Doggone it, why did you have to betray us, Douchebag?
: (idle) We can still hang out when we're not playing the game.
: (idle) The Wizard King said I have to fight you or- or he'll lose respect for me.
: (if he wins) Justice is served.



Butters has less than half the health of the last boss we fought. Though to balance that out, he is super heavily armored.





He also hits fairly hard.



If he wants to be a dick, he can also use Healing Touch on himself, which is a souped up version of what he had as a buddy.





He looks so pleased with himself for smashing Stan in the face with his hammer.



He can even replenish his stack of shields. Sadly, he's on fire and has 5 stacks of bleeding, so immediately after getting the shields back he keels over and dies.



Periodic damage effects are really powerful, guys.

: Nobody likes me!

The script I have has the above line said with "wibbling" in parenthetical. What is wibbling? I looked on Urban Dictionary and... well, don't look on Urban Dictionary for "wibbling." Trust me on this. For what it's worth, Butters is crying when he says it. I hope you're all happy.

: I feel kinda bad about beating up Butters.
: The lute is truly mightier than the sw- than the sw- the sw- than the sword.



Butters drops a weapon after we beat him.



Let's just move on and up the stairs.



We're very nearly done with the second day. There's a bunch of KKK Soldiers attacking DogPoo, so let's save him.



One of the KKK guys has the last piece of the Necromancer set, which looks pretty rad.

: There's too many. We can't break through.

: Dude, Douchebag, this is gonna be so sweet when you double-cross Kyle at the last minute haah, am I right? High five.





Don't forget to grab this Chinpokomon here.

: Duel between Token and Stan in the Elven Forest later today! Watch the Ranger Champion kick some ass!
: Sorry, guys, I can't make it. I've got a dentist appointment.
: Your dentist can't save you forever, Token.



Over to the left of DogPoo we can find Bill and Fosse beating up on a KKK Soldier. We lend them a hand and we get both Bill and Fosse as friends for helping out. Those names may not ring a bell, but let's talk to them.

: [laughing] That's gay.
: [laughing] That's gay.
: [laughing] You're gay!
: [laughing] We're gay.

You're gay!
_{Fosse likes this.}

Yeah, those guys. But hey, that's two more Facebook friends!



We also get a perk. I honestly forgot about this perk point until later on. So we'll grab the friendship perk at some point in the future.



There's absolutely nothing in the bathroom, though coming in here triggers another message from Cartman over the PA system.

: Seriously, Douchebag, you're breaking my balls here.



: Fatass is in there with the Stick. Commander Douchebag, lead us to victory.
: I would gladly lay down my life if it means the elves can reclaim the Stick.

The game is strongly pushing us to go into the fourth grade classroom. Once we do, we're locked into the final boss of the second day. So let's go into the fifth grade classroom instead.



: Oh, Lemmiwinks!
: [Squeaks]



It's kind of a dick move to put a permanently missable friend in here.



I've been waiting for this. With this drill bit we can instantly put 5 stacks of bleeding on any target with our bow. I'm feeling pretty good about our chances now. Let's go beat up Cartman.

Video:

This video showcases the upcoming boss fight.

: Back away from the desks, Wizard Fat Ass!



: You're a traitor, Douchebag! How could you?



: Because he knows who the COOL KIDS are. Go ahead and kick Cartman's ass, New Kid.
: I brought you into the game... I made friends with you before anybody else would...
: He doesn't wanna play with CHEATERS.
: I understand the elves have clouded your mind. Fight it, New Kid. Come back to the light - attack Kyle.
: What are you waiting for, dude?
: Punch him right in his smug little lying face.
: Get him, New Kid.



: It's not me you should be fighting, it's him. So pick a side.
: Kick his ass, Douchebag.
: I can't believe this is even a choice.
: Douchebag is a double agent, you dumb elves! He's been working for us all along! Ri-right, Douchebag?
: You're too good a person to be working for Cartman.
: Don't listen to them, Douchebag! No you aren't.
: What are you w-waiting for? K-kill the W-wizard!
: You have a very interesting choice to make, Douchebag.
: I know you'll make the right decision.
: Wow... this is so... anticlimactic.
: What were we waiting on again?
: This is very suspenseful!

The game is really pushing us to pick a side to support. Guess what? There's more permanently missable shit in here.



The chest in front of us has a new weapon.





This chest always has an item related to your character class. Because we're supposedly a mage, we get a new wand. I still prefer the Manbearpig claw.



: (if you hit him) Oh you mother fucker! I KNEW you were a fucking douchebag!
(FIGHT begins)



: (starting fight) I thought what we had together was real, Douchebag!
: Fucking JUDAS!
: You son of a bitch.
: After all I did for you!
: Why you gotta deny Christ, brah?
: Hey, will you go to a restaurant with me? Cause I like to be taken out to dinner before I get FUCKED.
: (attacking) Traitor!
: (if he wins) All too easy.
: (if he wins) You're going with Christ, brah.
: (if he wins) To think I cared about you, Douchebag!

I don't have any gifs of Cartman's attacks. I'll show those off later when we actually get him as a buddy.







Cartman, like all good mages, focuses on fire themed attacks for the most part.





Cartman's boss fight is actually something of a gimmick fight. You just have to survive several turns, or lower his health below a certain threshold.



I'm not sure exactly what the threshold is, but this is the second turn of the fight and it's already over.



: (SHOWDOWN) There is only ONE Grand Wizard of the KKK... HHHNNNGHHNNH!







We just beat Cartman in a magic duel. I don't know whether or not I should celebrate that fact.



: The evil wizard has been defeated! Great job, New Kid. Goth kids! Take the Stick from inside his desk! Victory is ours!





: Hey, wait a minute. Our desks don't have insides.
: What?
: Desks at this school just have tabletops.



: But... T-Twitter said that...
: Look over here! This desk has writing on it!



: "Check my locker."
: Whose desk is that?



: That's... that's CLYDE'S desk.

Video:









: Greetings, Humans and Drow Elves of Zaron!



: Clyde!
: HE took the Stick!
: While you have all been busy fighting amongst yourselves, I have built a kingdom beyond your comprehension! I prayed for a way to destroy you all and the solution came crashing down from the heavens!



: Oh no it's more of that green stuff!
: With what I have found, I shall raise an army of the dead!





CatMeeeowww... Reeowwww...



: [Speaking German]



: I shall raise an entire army of darkness and kill the earth!
: Clyde... but why?



: I banished him to be lost in space and time -- now he's all pissed off.



: So you see, FOOLS, I control the stick AND the future of the Earth.
: Clyde do you want a sandwich?



: Not right now Dad I'm making a ruler of darkness video.



: Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe -- and my first deed is that I hereby DENOUNCE the human and the elf kingdoms! And strip both kings of all their power! HAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAA!



: Mother fucker!



: Oh hello boys!
: Can we speak to Clyde, please?!
: Oh Clyde's out playing in the backyard with his little friends.









: Come and get it losers! Ha ha ha haa!



: You can't do that Clyde! You're lost in time and space!



: No I'm not.
: Yeah you are, asshole!
: Army of Darkness! Defend the fortress!









: Craig... ? Craig you're on my side!
: You don't have authority anymore, the keeper of the Stick said so.
: This can't be happening.



: GOD DAMMIT I HAVE FUCKING AUTHORITAH!



: Sorry, warriors and wizards, I'd love to invite you in to my fortress of darkness, but I'm afraid you're too LATE!
: Too late? What'dya mean we're too late?



: There you are, Butters! Do you know what time it is mister?! It is WAY PAST YOUR BEDTIME!
: Oh shit it's past our bedtime?
: Dude I'm gonna get it!



: Hahaha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



: Clyde -- it's past your bedtime!
: HAHA -- Kay, coming dad. HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAA!





I don't think we're gonna be able to take Clyde on like this. His army is huge! Though on the upside, our Pyre Ball attack now completely bypasses armor.



I don't particularly feel like getting grounded, so let's hightail it back home.



Shouldn't they pull the sold sign out of the yard?



: Well, hello hello!
: You missed the news! Looks like we're gonna have the country's largest taco bell in our new town!
: Mommy and Daddy spied on your Facebook page and saw that you're making lots of friends!
: Why don't you tell us about them? ...No?
: Okay, well it's late, sweetie, head on up to bed and I'll be there to tuck you in.
: Your mother said get to bed. Now do it before you get grounded!
: Go on to bed, sweetie. I'll be up to say goodnight.



Well, no point in dwelling how fucked the Human and Drow Elf kingdoms currently are. Let's just go to bed. I'm sure tomorrow will be better. Alternatively we'll be consumed by nazi zombies in the middle of the night. That's certainly also a possibility.



: Goodnight, my little gumdrop. Hope you're enjoying all the peace and quiet in our new home as much as we are.



Goodnight, guys.