Part 24: You Need... A Passport
Hello everyone. Today is going to be a nice breather update. It's still day 3, so we're still in peak South Park.
Video:
: The girls want to thank you for your help. We can go see them again whenever you're ready.: All right then, let's go. You know the drill.
: New Kid, the girls are very thankful for you texting us the abortion records.
: We are one step away from finding out which girl among us is a two-faced bitch.
: Unfortunately, the record keeper at the abortion clinic is from Paris and so everything is written in French.
: Whoever this two-faced skank is thinks she can outsmart us!
: We want to help you and the boys play your game, but we just can't have a two-faced bitch out there on the loose. Just get these documents translated for us, and we PROMISE we will join your army. Sparkle.ALL: Sunshine!
: Ask around. Maybe one of the other boys knows French.Do you guys know someone who can translate these documents for us? No? Damn. Let's go back to see if Kyle or Cartman knows what to do.
Video:
: What's this? Council, gather around! This must be something the new kid needs our help with.
: Cinq femmes ont sobi un avortement... what language is that?
: It's some kind of strange Orcish. I've seen this language before... In the Kingdom to the North.
: Oooh, the Kingdom to the North...: Whatever is written on these documents is somehow the key to us recruiting the girls to our army - is that what you're trying to tell us, new Kid?
: Come on, sp-spit it out.
: Getting that document translated isn't going to be easy.
: To breach the kingdom to the north, you will have to assume another identity. Your name is no longer Commander Douchebag. It is now 'Larry Bobinski', from Cleveland.
: The quickest way to the Kingdom to the North is through the Lost Forest. Head north, then north again. North... a-and then north.
: You'd better get a real passport photo first or you won't make it past Border Control.: Greetings New Kid! Please consider our elven kingdom your home! How goes the recruiting?: You still got more friends to make. Good luck.: Hey Commander Douchebag! Where are the girls?: Commander Douchebag you were supposed to recruit the girls! What's the delay?Well, I guess we're now Larry Bobinski. Stan's also right. We should get our picture taken first. I think I remember seeing a photo studio in town.
Video:
: Hi, here to get your passport photo taken? Just head into the room there and we'll get started.
: Step between the lights, please.Over on the right is a cabinet we can raid.
He doesn't look like Marlon Brando...
: That's great. OK, smile!: Um... do you have anything else you can wear? Could you try something else on?
Seems a reasonable request. Though he does have dialogue (that I didn't screenshot) if you elect not to.
: Yeah, it's just... it's just not working. Let's try that other outfit.He'll eventually force you to change your outfit, so no reason to wear armor in our passport photo.
: Uh, no... Tell you what, how about just no shirt at all. Let's try that.
: Nope, with this light we are just gonna need you to lose that shirt.
: I'm just not feeling that shirt.
Oh, well when you put it that way...
: Yeah that's gonna work better. Here we go! Oh... those pants don't work with the lighting. Could you roll up your pants, or -- you know what just take -- take the pants off, too.
: Those pants just aren't working for me.
: If you want a passport you are gonna have to lose the pants, pal.
: Okay, that's good. Really nice. Yes, very nice. How about we lose the underwear?
: You sick son of a bitch! Stop him!: You'll never take me alive!
This is a fight you can't lose. My script has no failure dialogue, and the pedophile has only one "attack."
So go ahead and guess how this fight goes.
: Tell my wife... I wasn't that into her...
: Wow! Good job, kid! You're quite the fighter. Alright let's get this over with. Say cheese! Congrats, kid, you have your first passport.: Sorry about that back there. Almost all photographers are perverts, you know.
Let's get dressed and get the fuck out of here.
Kyle said to go into the forest and keep going north. Sounds good to me.
North...
North...
North again...
North past nazi zombies...
Oh hey, it worked! Color me surprised.
Video:
: HALT! This is as far as you go, buddy! Ahead of you lies the great kingdom of Canada! It is accessible only to the most noble and valiant of people.: Oh no you don't! I can see that you are not Canadian. And there is only one way a non-Canadian can ever hope to enter the gates of our country. You must go back to your land and return here with... A passport.: Ah, I see you have a passport! All right, hand it over.
: Papers appear to be in order. Very well, I hereby grant thee access to the great nation of Canada!
: OPEN THE GATE!
: Oh, I'll do it. Hold on. There we go.
: HALT! None shall cross into Canada without - oh, never mind. I've seen your passport.
We're past the border. So next time? We venture into