Part 34: BONUS - Extra Dialogue 2
The whole update was way too long by something like 30,000 characters over the limit, so I had to split it in two. This is the start of part 2.
STARTING FIGHT
: Aw, shit.: Oh boy, bad guys!: Well, here we go again.: Y-you're sure about this?: Oh Christ, what a pickle!: Please don't ice me, homie.: Aww, are you gonna rape us?: Fellas! We can work this out!: Why can't you just leave us alone?: I don't LIKE being pushed around!: Well what are we waitin' for!!: We will kill them with compassion!: We're gonna send you straight to heck!: W-what if we just make friends instead?: I hope we don't get in trouble for this.: Ah shucks, when are we gonna catch a break?: It's a good day to die! Uh, for you, that is.: Surrender, or -- or-or bad stuff will happen.: I've killed way bigger guys than you. Well, the new kid has.: Now I-I hope you fellas don't get angry, but I have to smite you.: What the heck, I'm gonna get grounded anyway, might as well!: I'm Butters the Merciful, of the-- well of t-the Knights of Kindheartedness.: The Hammer of Justice shall strike the Nail of Evil into the Board of Being Sorry!: Yo, dawg. Uh, can't I just go right back home after the fight so I don't get grounded?IDLE
: I'm tired of being picked on.: You think you're better than me?: Surrender and I will show you mercy!: Aw, the New Kid's screwing around again.: I could use some goddamn poon tang right now.: We don't have to play this game if you're getting bored.: Wait you guys, I have to sneeze... nope, false alarm.: Come on, New Kid! Let's show them what we can do!: Sometimes my dad goes on road trips just to check out all the rest stops.INJURED
: HELP!: I don't feel so good.: I don't wanna die!: I feel kind of woozy.: I'm hurt pretty bad!: I don't like this game anymore!: Gosh, I think I might be dying!: If I die my dad's gonna ground me for sure.HEALING TOUCH
: Just a buddy.: Walk it off, buddy.: Yeah, there's a buddy.: There you go, pal.: I got your back, yo.: Yeah, that's it, little buddy.: There there, buddy. You're gonna be okay.WHEN YOU DO LIGHTNING VOLT
: FUCK 'EM UP!HAMMER OF JUSTICE
: By the hammer of Butters!ATTACKING
: Ahh!: Eat mercy!: Take that!: En garde!: To battle!: Hey, bad guy!: Sorry about this.: Taste my justice!: Leave us alone!: Justice be done!: You should be nice!: I shall smite thee!: Nobody stops a paladin!BLOCKING
: Whew!: Keep tryin'!: That was close!: Eye for an eye!: No, no, no no no!: Hey, I blocked it!: That wasn't so bad.: I'm rubber, you're glue!: You're straight trippin' son.BEING HIT
: Ow!: Hey!: Geez!: Meanie!: No, no, no, no, no!: God dammit!: Jesus Christ!: Oh hamburgers!: Hey, that hurt!: What was that for?: Son of a biscuit!: Well, that's not nice.WHEN YOU DIE
: Oh hamburgers!: Oh Jesus, no!: Oh sweet Jesus...: Uh, what's the matter?: Oh no! No. Oh, no, no! Oh, no, no!DYING
: I'm sorry.: They got me.: (wibbling) Nobody likes me!: (crying): Forgive me... Douchebag...VICTORY
: Oh boy!: Whoopie!: We usually win.: Oh boy, we won!: Oh boy! Oh boy!: Boy, this is neat-o, huh?: That serves em right.: That was pretty good!: I really feel sad for em.: Aw, I wanted to show mercy.: You're good at adventuring!: I hope they're just sleeping.: I'm a lot more experienced now!: You think we were too hard on em?: Well gee whiz, I hope I level up!: Another victory for the good guys!: I hope we didn't hurt you too bad!: Maybe now you'll turn your life around.: I think I just found my new bottom bitch.: Well that's what you get for being mean to people!: You gave it your best shot, and that's all Jesus asks of you.: I know violence doesn't solve anything, but I kinda like it.
STARTING FIGHT
: Let's do it.: You're gonna regret this.: You and what army, dude?: I'll do everything I can.: Oh god, here we go again.: Nature, I heed your call!: You just don't get it, do you?: We stand together against the darkness!: You do NOT want to get on my bad side.: Time for a little rumble in the jungle.: Don't you know who you're dealing with?: Get out of my way or I'll kick your ass!: Let us restore the balance of nature by kicking ass.: You fuck with me, you fuck with Mother Nature!: We elves may be skinny, but we compensate by being dicks.: By the moon and the stars in the skies, I swear we will destroy you!: You think you're tough? I grew up in the forest. It made me a total badass.IDLE
: Are we going again? No?: Hey, let's keep going, huh?: Hey! What the hell are you doing?: So... what do you do for fun?: Oh, are we taking a break now?: No that's cool, I'll just chill here for a minute.: This staff's great for walking and for beating people's brains in.: I still don't get how Cartman got you to think he was cool.ATTACKING
: R-tard.RALLY
: No quarter!: Come on, we've got this!: Let's fuck em up!WINDSTORM
: I summon the winds!: You're about to get blown!SUMMON ELEMENTAL
: Ready Ike? Kick the baby!
: Don't kick the goddamn baby.: Kick the baby!BLOCKING
: That's it?: Terrible.: Nice try asshole!: Stop being an asshole!: I barely felt that.: Get the fuck out of here.: What the hell are you doing?: You have to do better than that.BEING HIT
: Ow.: Dude!: Hey!: Oh God!: Ah shit!: Stop it!: You suck!: I hate you.: Oh it hurts!: God dammit.: Ah, dammit!: What are you doing?: Oh, god, it burns!: You son of a bitch!: (shrieking) Oh god!: Jesus Christ dude!: Just leave me alone!: Now I'm pissed off!: What are you doing?: What the hell, man?: Why are you doing this?: What's the matter with YOU?: What the hell are you doing?: This is all a bunch of crap.: (frustrated) All right, all right!WHEN YOU KNOCK AN ENEMY OUT
: That's awesome!WHEN YOU DIE
: No... NO!: Goddammit!: That's retarded.: (deadpan) What?: What the hell just happened?: You son of a bitch!DYING
: (sigh) Goddammit.: AAAAAAAH!: GRRRRGGGHHH!: What the hell?: Big mistake!: Forgive me...: (sobbing): (sobbing) Oh it hurts!: (sobbing) Oh, god!: Look after... Ike.: I believe in you!: Bury me... at my base.: This is the worst day of my life.VICTORY
: Yes!: That was TEXTBOOK.: That wasn't so bad.: We make a good team.: I am REALLY impressed.: I don't really give a fuck.: Who says elves are pussies?: We're like a force of nature.: I hope this alliance can last.: Can we get going now, please?: I don't think ANYONE can stop us.: In time, our kingdoms shall be restored.: Space and time are no boundaries for US.: That's why you don't fuck with the Dragonborn.
STARTING FIGHT
: Oh boy.: Weak, dude.: I'm over it.: Come on guys!: Let's go dude!: We've got this.: Ah Jesus, not again.: Come on, let's do this!: You'd think they'd know better.: This is gonna be so awesome!: This is getting out of hand!: Rangers do not fear death.: Let's just do this, alright?: Don't be starting shit with us!: My ranger sense saw this coming.: This is NOT what we need right now.: Uh excuse me, is this really a good idea?: I am Stan Marshwalker, brother of wolves and badgers.IDLE
: Hello?: Can I just take my turn?: You got somewhere you'd rather be?: Dude, what is the hold up?: Are we playing or what?: You mind if I update my status while we're waiting here?: I think my mom did a pretty sweet job with my costume.INJURED
: This is not my fight.: I don't feel so good.: My health hath gotten low.: You got a health potion on you?: Kinda, like, dying right now.: Little help over here.: [Labored breathing]: Dude, my injuries are super grievous right now.ATTACKING
: You're done!: Taste steel!: Fear my blade! (after hitting) Got 'em!: Check THIS out!: You asked for it.: Kya, kya!: You're going down!MARKED FOR DEATH
: Go get em boy!: Go boy!: Attack!: Kill!WHIRLWIND BLADE
: Enough!: Let's finish this!: Let's see you stop this!BLOCKING
: No way, dude!: Oh no you don't!: You hit like my grandpa.BEING HIT
: Stop!: Aw, spit!: Aw, come on!: God damnit.: That does it!: Ya fucking dumbass!: What the hell, dude?: Dude, what's your problem?WHEN YOU DIE
: Aw, crap!: This can't get any worse.: Oh, no. No, no no!: No... this can't happen!DYING
: No!: Ugh.: Oh, god...: Aw, crap.: Goddammit.: What...?: Avenge me!: Son of a bitch!VICTORY
: Next!: Total pwnage.: I expected better.: Fucking nice, dude.: All right, who's next?: That's what you get!: That's enough of that.: I could do this all day.: Man, we ripped shit UP.: Dude, we're pretty badass.: Like they even stood a chance.: Oh my God, we killed the enemy!: That coulda sucked a lot worse.: Mess with the beast, you get the claws.: Dude I'm just happy this whole stupid thing is over with.
IDLE
: (You can take your turn.): (I am the fairest maiden in ALL the land.)INJURED
: (Mmph... I feel bad...): (Don't let your poor princess die.): (Mm mph mmmphph save me.): (Seriously, mphph.)WHEN HIT
: [gasps] Mrm mm mrm?!: [gasps] Mrm mm mmmrmm!: [gasps] Mrm mmrm mm mrm!: Mrm mm mmm mrmrmmphmm.: (You shouldn't hit girls!)VICTORY
: (Woohoo!)This is a list of dialogue you get if you smack someone with your weapon. Presumably there is more, but the script only has these folks listed.
: Ow!
: Ouch!: That's enough!: Knock it off!
: All right, that does it!
: Stop it!
: Oh my! (She likes it. A lot.)
: Cut it out!
: Hey!
: No! No.: That isn't nice sweetie.: You are THIS close to a time out.
: Ow!
: Hey!
: Mkay!
: Hey!: God!: Dick!: Die already, fuck!
: Hey!
: Aaah!
: Ow!: Hey!: Jeez!: What's the big idea?
: Oh, goddammit!
: Ohoho, oh it hurts! (Mr. Slave also likes being hit.)Finally we have the only proper way to end a South Park LP: a gigantic list of fart jokes. This is what various characters will say if you fart on them.
: Excuse you.
: ManBearPig! He's here!
: I wouldn't do that in front of the girls!
: Must be happy hour already.
: EEEEWWWWW!
: You smellied!
: Take cover!: Stinky mo-minky.: Sound off, Sergeant!: Whoo, that was stinky!: You draw mud on that one?: [laughing] Tha-tuh funny...: Gee whiz whistle britches!: That one sounded like it hurt.: Maybe you should see a doctor.: [laughs] You should check for mud.: I'd check my drawers if I was you.: [laughs] Somebody's baking brownies.: How did your ass learn such incredible magic so easily?
: EW! [coughs]: Dude, did you shit your pants?
: Whoa!
: Wow.: Sweet.: Nice, brah.: (laughing): Jesus, you smell.: Those ones hurt, huh?: That all you got, brah?: Your insides are rotten, brah.: That's good. Someday I will teach you to do better.: Sometimes air can get pushed up there.
: Nice.: Great.: Good point.: Whaddya want, a medal?
: Gross.: Whatever.: Ew.: Hey!: Augh.: Stinky.: Enough!: Ah, come on!: Ah, thanks.: Groooss.: What was that?: Put a cork in it!: Can't you just be normal?: Are you... are you trying to communicate?!: You won't make many friends doing that.
: Brimstone.
: You're good at that!
: Oh, no!
: I accept your salute.
: Eww! (coughs): A windwaker!: That's cheating!: Dude, did you shit your pants?
: Get me out of here!
: I can do that, too!
: This is not the good kind of torture.
: Why?: Not bad.
: A powerful doomsday device!
: EW!: Gross!: Ugh! I can taste it!: Get your gross ass outta here!
: That's horrible!: Conformist!HOBO: Some people...
: Dude, so weak.
: You should get that checked out.
: Using the gifts I have given you, I see.
: Canadian Barking Spider! Look out!
: Yipes.: Oh yeah?: (laughing): That's n-nasty.: Stinky bo-binky.: Oh yeah? Try this one on for size.: Is that the setup or the punchline?: Did you fa-far- Did you fa-fa- Shit your pants?
: I thought you were different...
: Oh my god!
: You think that's funny?: [laughing]: Mrm mrmph!: Mrm, mrmphphm!: Mrm mrm mrrrmmphm!: (Sick, dude!): (Tee hee hee!): (That was fucking disgusting.)
: Toxic atmosphere detected.: Wow.: [laughing]: Impressive.: Dude, you stink.: Dude, you okay?: You better check your pants.: That is some sick magic you got there.
: You're giving away my position.: Oh my!: Is that Spanish?
: Maybe you can talk to Butters about not holding his in all the time. He gets the worst cramps.: So GROSS!
: That's no way to get popular.: Uh, don't do that.
: Why here? Why now?
: Un toot de joyeux.: Ew!: Whoa!: Gross.: Ugh, nice.: Stop it.: Oh my god!: Excuse you!: Was that you?: Do that outside.: Say "excuse me".: That's rude, pumpkin.: Do that in the bathroom!: Is that supposed to be funny?: I need to change your diet.: Sweetie, we talked about that.: Ugh... you take after your father.MONGOLIAN KID: (speaking Mongolian)
MONGOLIAN KID: (speaking Mongolian)
: You're gross!: Hey! Quit screwin' around!
: Boys will be boys!: Your mommy must be feeding you very well!: Pretty gross, New Kid.
: Smells like a Mongolian woman.: You think that's funny?: That's disrespectful, New Kid, mkay?: I've had just about enough of your little butt bubbles, mkay?: Well I hope that's a fart and not some brown grease snake you pinched off in your underoos.
: Hey, nice.
: Kenny teach you that?: Jesus Christ. Have you been sticking stuff up there?
: Could you do that... outside?: Some coffee might clear that up.: Hmm. That's like our dark roast.
: Smells more of a dark roast.
: Who cut the cheese?
: Oh no you didn't.: I just threw up a little.: Do you smell cinnamon?: That's not very goth.
: So I'm not the only one!: I know EXACTLY what you're going through.
: Dear God.: If the Lord didn't wish us to fart, he wouldn't have given us anuses.
: That's something I'd expect from the kindergarteners, young man.: Can you burp good, too?RANCHER BILL: Hooey!
RANCHER BILL: Tarnation!
: That's JV.: I like it.: Good, but not great.: You've been practicing.: You need more training.
: That's not cute at all!
: Brought me something, huh?
: That was VERY naughty.
: Sick!: Gross!: PLEASE stop.: Maybe you have diabetes.
: God have mercy on us all.
: Kids your age.
: Young man, you have to find better ways to express yourself.
: You even smell like a turd.
: We don't take kindly to those kinds of butt noises round here.: Yuck.: Sweet.: Sheesh.: Sick, dude.: Whoa, dude.: (laughing): Dude, what'd you eat?
: Ah, god! There's no ventilation in here!
: Huh?: Hello to you, too.
: Whoa!: Oh nice ...: Was that you?: Excuse you!: Oh my God!: You hear that?And with that, this LP is finally over. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Take it easy, y'all.
