The Let's Play Archive

Space Quest 1

by Son of Bug Jug

Part 34: Page 34

Analog : Hello... I am your cocktail waitress analog, bzzzzt.
Analog : What's your poison, humanoids?
Wilco : I'll have a double bourbon on the rocks.
Flo : I'll have a fuzzy nostril.
Droole : Give me a green goblin.

Analog : Here are your bzzzzzzzzt... drinks.
Analog : The charges will be deducted from your StarCon account.
Analog : If you feel the urge to 'hurl', please feel free to use the rest rooms, humans.

Bathroom for Humans only - ALIENS GO HOME.

Nelo : Hello there, Suck... I mean, pardner. May i have a moment?
Wilco : Well, actually, I'm kinda...
Nelo : Allow me to introduce myself : The name's Nelo Jones, Merchant of Venus.
Nelo : Dealer in fine collectibles. Trafficker of rare artifacts. What's your moniker, son?
Wilco : I'm, uh... Roger Wilco.

Nelo : Well, Wilco, this is your lucky day.
Nelo : I could tell the minute I laid eyes on you that you're a discerning individual with an IQ significantly higher than chair he was sitting in.
Nelo : A man who knows the value of fine merhcandise when he sees it.
Wilco : Well, um...

Nelo : Never fear, Wilco! Nelo can fix you right up.
Nelo : Need some Anterean fire water? A few gray market copies of the latest thing's quest game? Or a luck tribble's foot?
Nelo : How about some chernobyl cufflinks? They're a collector's item, you know. Guaranteed to give you that 'warm glow' like only hard radiation can.
Wilco : I don't think...

Nelo : I can see you're looking for something special, Roger. Can I call you Roger? I've got just the thing...
Nelo : Dehydrated Space Monkeys! They're all the rage in the colony worlds. You don't have to feed em, and there's no mess. For you : 15 buckazoids.
Wilco : I'm not sure...

"Space Monkey" - Don't worry, we're taking it back.

Nelo : You drive a hard bargain, Rog! I tell you what, you take a free sample of Space Monkeys and my business card, with my compliments...
Nelo : Then you buy something for your lady friend the next time you pass through here.
Wilco : Um, Thanks...
Narrator : Realizing he's not going to make a big score here, the sales beast moves on to find another victim...

Quirk : Well, well, well. Look who it isn't.
Wilco : Buzz off, laser-brain!
Quirk : Enjoying your new command, Trash man? I recommended you for the job.
Wilco : That's 'Sanitation Engineer' to you, crumb.

Quirk : Oooooooh! An Aristocrat! I bet Ambassador Wankmeister would be really impressed.
Quirk : She and I are having a great time working together--closely--on the Goliath.
Wilco : Quirk, you have the looks of an Orat and the manners to match.

Quirk : Why you little... I could have you brought up on charges for that!
Quirk : I demand satisfaction! I challenge you to a game of Battle Cruiser, wimp!
Wilco : Fine! I'm going to kick your aft-side into the next quadrant, Quirk!
Quirk : Ha! We'll see about that, broom-jockey.

This game is just a battleship clone. And considerring I can save and restore, it's trivial to score a perfect win.

Quirk : Blast you! You nailed my large battle cruiser, you weed!
Quirk : You destroyed my destroyer, punk!
Quirk : My starbase, Argg!
Quirk : My Scoutship!
Wilco : I won! I won! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I didn't know Cliffy was Irish.

Wilco : What's going on here, Cliffy?
Cliffy : Captain! That slug bait crewman from the Goliath called our ship a garbage scow. I just couldn't sit there and let him get away with it.
Wilco : Cliffy, the Eureka IS a garbage scow.
Cliffy : Oh yeah, I forgot. But he didn't have to go rubbing our noses in it!

Quirk : I've heard enough. Guards, place this man under arrest and toss him in the brig.
Wilco : Wait a minute, Quirk! You can't just...
Quirk : I can and did. Now just stow it, Wilco, or you'll end up along side him in a detention cell.
Quirk : Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my ship. I wouldn't want to keep the Ambassador waiting.

Why not?

Some guy : Who's the moron who let all the damn space monkeys loose?

Ooooh - Okay. I guess that warning had a good point.

Alert! Alert! Alert!
Guards : C'mon, let's go see what it is. Maybe we'll get to beat somebody up!

You'd think this is a good opportunity to use the cutting torch we picked up earlier, but Sierra disagrees...

The space monkeys are reproducing at an alarming rate.
You could be in big trouble if you don't get out of here soon, Roger. The station isn't going to be able to take the added pressure of so many space monkeys for much longer.

... So back to the ship to pick up Spike.

That's what you bastards get for... ...serving me alcohol.

EDIT : Okay - these are loading much better for me on this new page.

If that's true for most other people - I guess there's a definite limit to how many pics/updates I can do per page.