Sprung (Brett) Part #23 - Dating at the Speed of Light

Part 23: Dating at the Speed of Light

Dating at the Speed of Light

The Tap Room was hosting The Annual Snow Bird Mountain Speed Dating competition and all my friends and I went. The six females I'd been talking to were the only girls there, though so I had to make due.

Speed dating works thusly: You sit at a table, and a girl comes up and you have like three minutes to get to know her. Then you switch off tables and talk to another girl. Since there were only six girls, and I already knew them, I guess this wouldn't be so hard, right?

Lucas officiated it, of course. Here's a picture of the "poster' they had (which I had made for them in Powerpoint).

L spoke to the group.

Confidentially, if anyone gets a clean sweep, there might be some great prizes involved.

Shit, L's rule made things hard... I'd have to use the right opening line on the right girl!

E walked over.

Hi, Brett.

What to say, what to say...

Note: There are ten lines here, plus Use Item.

Speed Dating - Erica Failure Reel

There were a lot of ways to screw this up... it turned out I could probably use more than a couple of the lines on E to get things going; the only risk that it would preclude being able to get a perfect score...

I'd still like it if you Internet folks suggested stuff, though. This is one of the rare opportunities we have with all six girls and a ton of items, etc., so there might be interesting stuff to be had.

Anyway, she might actually get mad if I show her the medals!

I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe because E doesn't care for snowboarding and it looks kind of show-offy. Maybe I should go ahead and give her an Amorous Action...

Maybe twice...

Hmmm... I couldn't have that happen. It'd be Game Over for me, considering I still possibly had feelings for B.

I could try giving her the magic dove. Only, she'd freak out about it reminding her of The Birds and all. Fortunately, without DB-X here to further drive the point home, she wouldn't run off, so it'd be pointless.

Maybe the hedgehog. Nah, it'd probably be similar to last time, except for...

Her giving it a name here. But it would only lead to me pointlessly losing the hedgehog. Hmmm.

I just heard! They're bombing the building for terrorists! We have three minutes to live!

Nah, that one would just screw me for the competition... maybe I could try L's Devil's Zeyphr cologne.

Nah, that wouldn't work...

Incidentally, the cologne can be used as an alternate solution - and actually the fastest solution - to steal the mushrooms earlier. Using it on Erica...

Then she passes out and you can steal the mushrooms. Strangely, she's suddenly awake to give you the hay for the next stage, though.

inertiaticsp posted:

Well, I had a great time.

Me too!

Drum roll...

Congrats, inertiaticsp, you get to move on!

Eight lines left.

inertiaticsp posted:

Alex trust me- I have a huge penis.

You're my top rank so far.

I had a great time.

Meet me after this thing is over.

Yeah - you couldn't be any less my type.

Okay, Ainsley - you up for it?

You want to "follow" inertiatcsp's path and go on to the next girl? If so...

I can tell from your eyes that you have a genuine soul.

If we quit and leave together it would cause the biggest scandal.

Sum yourself up in three words.

I guarantee if you kiss me, you'll want more.

Screw chemistry. We're both hot, let's make this happen.

I just overheard the news. There's a bomb- we only have three minutes to live!
Use Item

Ainsley McTree posted:

I'll go with the don't hate me because I'm beautiful answer, #3

Close it out with one of these:

Ainsley McTree posted:

Yeah- you couldn't be less my type

And the results are...

Hmmph. Well, anyone else want to give it a try, or should we let Ainsley try his luck again?

Cowman posted:

Why transcend human nature?

Close it out with...?

Alright, you got four lines left.

If we quit and left together, it would cause such a scandal. Let's do it!

Sum yourself up in three words.

I guarantee that if you kiss me, you'll want more.

I just overheard the news - there's a bomb in the building and we only have 3 minutes to live!
Use Item

DeceasedHorse posted:

Great! Go bring your car around, I'll meet you at the back entrance!

Well, good job, Dec-

...It doesn't?

DeceasedHorse posted:

Does she even have a car? Does Brett?

Like I know? Anyway, you don't have to close it out with her.

Kiki ranked you...

(drum roll)

Wow. Sorry, man. Anyone else want a shot at Kiki?

Keep in mind, too - and I'm really not trying to pass off a hint or something - that the wrong line might have been used earlier. So if you want to try different lines on Kiki, you'll have to try a different line on one of the previous girls.

On the other hand there's the possibility that we've been doing this perfectly thus far...

Authorman posted:

Meet me after this thing is over.

Hmmm... alright, let's see how you did.

Not too shabby. Who's next? Respond so I know you're active!

dshban posted:

Hmm, meet me after or I had a great time... let's go with the latter, why not.

Whoa... and survey says...

Nice!

(She's crying because at the end, you have to rank the four girls, too. I was just rushing through it and said I ranked her fourth. It really doesn't matter, though.)

Up next:

You've only got two lines left! The scandal line and the kiss line. (And items.) Which will you choose?!

Saint Freak posted:

Go with that one. Sounds like a nice southern colloquialism a belle as herself would understand.

That leaves the last line:

I guarantee if you kiss me, you'll want more.

(kiss her)

Romance is reckless.

No, I guess not.

Saint Freak posted:

Kiss her.

Saint Freak posted:

Alright, I think I made a blunder with the kiss so lets try and say she's my top rank thus far.

And your rank is...

Wow, soooo close!

Alright, now, I didn't want to say anything - and I'm really not dropping a hint - but to the next contestant, if you don't like the lines we're left with when we're speed dating with Leanne, you'll have to swap one out.

What I mean is, that here's what we're using so far:

Erica:
- I wish I had more time to get to know you.
- I wanted to get to know you before this silly contest.

Alex:
- So how are the other guys doing?
- What do you want to know about me?

Shana:
- I can tell from your eyes that you have a genuine soul.
- Screw chemistry. We're both hot- let's make this happen.

Kiki:
- I just overheard the news! There's a bomb in the building and we only have three minutes to live!
- Sum yourself up in three words.

Leanne:
- If we left here together right now, it would cause such a scandal. Let's do it!
- Once you kiss me

That means if you want to use a different line than the ones we have for Leanne, you'll have to see if the other girl still ranks you first if you swap lines.

However, it's also entirely possible that the two lines left for Leanne are the right ones...

And then there's the matter of Becky...

Anyone else want to try this?

ZZT the Fifth posted:

"Let them talk! You're the only one who matters!"

Last line: I guarantee if you kiss me...

(kiss her)

Romance is reckless.

No, I guess not.

ZZT the Fifth posted:

Sure, what the hell. Go for a kiss!

ZZT the Fifth posted:

How'd I do?

You ranked first!

If you want to go up against Becky, then here's how it works:

(No need to thank me.)

You get all ten lines again. Which one will you go with?

Pr3ddy posted:

First option, call out her dirty cheating whore ways.

Well, I'm sorry Pr3ddy, it doesn't look like-

Wha?! Wow, I didn't think that would work. Congrats! On the first try! And congrats to all who participated - this is actually an alternate solution I didn't know about! (We started deviating from the walkthrough I'm using at Shana.)

You can rank the girls as well from 6th to 1st - I've been zooming through that to get each ranking (you actually get them all at the end when you're done). I was gonna hold a mini-poll for ranking the girls, but... does anyone really give a shit?