Part 12: 12 - Galdon Dislikes Smoke

12 - Galdon Dislikes Smoke



[Ahahahah, this fucking room. Oh man. I hate this room. Why? This:]























[FUCK YOU IN THE ASS YOU COCK SUCKERS.]

[Evil Ramp Ultra Boss: Viddler]

[The main reason this is so frustrating for me is that I rely heavily on strafe running. I tap the L-button about once every five to ten seconds to recenter the camera behind me and to make small adjustments to my course without turning. You can't do that while carrying something, so this ramp fucks me in the ass. Also, about half through the video I hop down in hopes of getting some more health, realizing the only health in the fucking room is up at the top I go back and choose to be insanely careful. God that ramp makes me so angry.]



[It doesn't end at the ramp, of course. You have to carry the bomb over to this special spot and put the bomb down (for the love of god, don't mess up and toss the bomb or you have to do it all over again). Then you climb a ladder on the opposite side of the pillar, flip a switch, and...]



[This little robot dude sucks your bomb up and brings it to the next level.]



[It's not over yet, bitches! Now you have to carry it to the far end of these platforms while an asshole with a cannon shoots at you and you navigate through flame jets.]



[Once I get there I make damned sure I won't miss by standing right next to the wall. No way in hell am I doing all that shit again. Inside we flip a switch which raises the bridge leading to the canno-]



[Damn it. We have to backtrack all the way to the Evil Ramp.]



[While my silent rage is building, I do have to acknowledge that this is actually a pretty clever defensive setup. I mean, this is actually functional as a deterrent whereas most bad guy defences are laughable.]



[I'm still going to fucking obliterate this asshole, but I'm just sayin'; kudos.]



[If you can't figure out what to shoot, kill yourself.]



[Our reward is a way out of this shithole.]



[I take the quick way down.]



Now we get to warp...somewhere. Anywhere is better than here, though.

Fuckin' A.



Where the hell are we?

What the fuck is that thing?



God. Damn. It.



I'd bet Tricky's life that's the SpellStone. Can't seem to shoot it out, though.

Hey, Fox, I have an idea! He's encased in ice, right?



You idiot.

Seriously.

[Boss Galdon - Commentary: Viddler]
[Boss Galdon - Music (Banquet by Bloc Party): Viddler]



[So, this is the Galdon the guys outside mentioned. He's some kind of gigantic dinosaur/lizard/beetle bastard and he's the first real boss of the game.]



[He's not too tough to start with; when you're at range he'll shoot you with green fireballs. If you close to melee range he'll take lunges at you in addition to shooting pointless fireballs (they fly too high to be able to hit you). You should pretty much always be strafing to avoid both attacks. The grates around the arena will also fire off gouts of flame, but they're easy to avoid and do nothing to Galdon.]



[Your ultimate goal is to be close enough to make him do a repeated body-slam attack, then get behind him and shoot his glowing tail.]



[Dodongo dislikes getting shot in the ass.]



[Dodongo really dislikes having his internal organs soundly beaten.]



This is so gross.

It's about to get grosser.

I hate it when you say things like tha-





Dodongo likes the taste of fox meat.



Fuck this, I'm out of here! Let me out of here you stupid warp portal!

[The fight now shifts slightly. The camera briefly focuses on the Galdon's chest to signify your new target. He also turns a lot quicker making it clear you aren't supposed to get behind him. His lunge attack also gets a hell of a lot quicker. What you have to do is strafe around avoiding his attacks until he draws back and starts drawing energy through his chest for a huge fireball. When he does this take a couple shots (it only takes one hit, but you can miss or be blocked). This shuts him up for a little bit. Do this three times and...]



Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!



[Finish beating on the crazy stomach uvula and the SpellStone falls out.]



Aw, man. Again?

Yep.



We're done here.



If for no other reason than because I'm about to nuke this whole fucking asteroid, so you may want to leave this world without hatred in your heart.

That was deep, Fox.

Not as deep as the bunker-busters I'm about to unload into that shithole of a mine will be.

Niiiiice.