Part 83: SPECIAL Q EPISODE

SPECIAL Q EPISODE


Jean-Luc Picard was proud of his accomplishments as President of the Federation and fully expected to spend the rest of his life in that office. He was shocked when James Kirk reappeared and won the presidential election. Since then he has languished in his garage, tinkering with 20th century knick-knacks. Like all Humans, he is fascinated by that century. Suddenly Q appears. "Captain," he says, "Aren't you curious to know what would have happened if the Klingons had deployed their Birds of Prey against the Ferengi fleet at the height of its power?"

"Not at all," snaps Picard. "The Klingons are an outrage, and I haven't got time for your games, Q." Then Q reminds Picard that he is retired and has no family and is sitting in his garage and has plenty of time for such games. Picard sighs.

"Shall we go back to Turn 312?" Q asks. Picard nods. "Make it so."


TURN 312. The Klingons have attempted to circle around the Ferengi stronghold of Deinonychus and pick off stragglers, but to no avail. The Klingon force consists of 25 Birds of Prey and a Scout.


The Ferengi fleet is huddled on Deinonychus and refuses to move. There are 111 Ferengi ships.


TURN 313. The Klingon captains lose control of their ships to a force they do not understand. They are horrified to find themselves being drawn into Deinonychus where the Ferengi fleet awaits them at an Outpost. 5 Ferengi ships have departed before combat begins.


Luckily, 31 of the Ferengi ships are harmless Troop Transports. There is also a Colony Ship. But that still leaves 74 warships and an Outpost to deal with. We must eliminate as much damage output as possible during the cloak turn. Strike Cruisers have a lot of torpedoes and fewer hitpoints than the command ships, so they will be the focus of our attack.


The Birds of Prey (and one Scout) decloak. Everyone holds his breath just before opening fire. They had better make this count.


The Klingon crews are already very experienced and well-trained. They are very efficient in their assault. Strike Cruisers start to catch fire.


Still, the space is thick with Ferengi ships. That's a lot of red metal to weed out.


As the torpedoes fly, more and more Strike Cruisers light up. In addition, extra torpedoes are being aimed at the Ferengi light attack ships, which also begin to explode.


The dust settles and the second round is about to begin. There is still a lot of red hardware out there.


All Strike Cruisers have been destroyed. We must attack the command ships next. One Marauder is clearly visible in the fleet, but it's difficult to see. There are many War Cruisers as well.


The Birds of Prey heroically charge forth to deliver another devastating attack.


In the opening moments, we can already see some War Cruisers and light attack ships catch fire.


More explosions shake the Ferengi fleet. We have not seen the Ferengi return fire whatsoever, which suggests they are trying to retreat. Cowards!


This second salvo feels like it lasts forever. There is still no sign that the Ferengi dare to stand and fight. Incredible. If they won't defend themselves when they have 74 warships, when will they?


The Birds of Prey collect as many kills as they can. Clouds of dead Ferengi waft across the battlefield.


Countless Ferengi ships allow their comrades to die in vain as they slip into warp. If this is what the Ferengi are made of, it's no surprise that their empire ended as it did.


We are victorious. We destroy 37 Ferengi warships, including all of their Strike Cruisers and many of their command ships.


The Ferengi are scattered far and wide. They have 42 warships and 32 non-combatant ships in the area.

So it seems the valiant Klingon warriors would have been able to push the Ferengi fleet off Deinonychus. The Ferengi would have run without inflicting a single casualty. Absolutely pathetic.

With Picard reduced to tears, Q leaves. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled LP.