Part 6: PAGE 06

This afternoon I was sitting on the bridge, quietly reading a report, when suddenly Counselor Troi started shrieking. Damn near fell out of my chair. After a while she calmed down enough to tell us she had been telepathically violated by a tar monster. I dispatched an away team to the nearest planet and they returned (minus an officer whose name escapes me for the moment) carrying the smoking remains of something that resembled the creature enough for Troi to put a sock in it. Enjoyed a quiet day after that.




Abruptly woken at oh-five hundred hours by red alert. Arriving at the bridge, Number One informed me that Troi had been mentally defiled. Shortly afterwards, we detected a cloaked ship carrying a trio of rebellious and profoundly horny Vulcan youths. Gave them a stern talking-to and had them arrested for violating the treaty of Algeron.




Must admit I was rather irritated to be pulled from my new Holo-novel (Dixon Hill and the Case of the Missing Esophagus), and may not have been completely sensitive when a tearful Troi complained of having her psionic bits fondled by a sentient cloud of energy passing through the sector.




Troi claims gangrape by two-dimensional aliens from a future timeline. After about three hours of wasted scanning, Dr. Crusher confirms it’s a mild headache.




Troi came into my ready room and blah blah blah brainsex blah blah




While the bridge crew were having a perfectly pleasant time scanning some insignificant debris along the edge of the Neutral Zone, Counselor Troi came in and started raving about how she had just been mind-napped by a clone of her mother from the Mirror Universe, who had then slowly dissected her astral projection over the course of hours. I suppose I just kind of lost it for a minute, and signalled Worf, who walked over and slapped her across the face.

Obviously, no one felt more guilty than I did when psychometric scans indicated that she was telling the truth. I met with the senior staff and we agreed to make a formal apology to her, accompanied by a lovely cake. I just wish I hadn’t asked Data to make it. That android’s sense of humor is just obscene.









Counselor Troi at Galorndon Core - Blip // Viddler // Youtube

Star Trek Trivia posted:

As said in the video, this mission refers to the Next Generation episode "Face of the Enemy", in which Troi is kidnapped by Romulans, disguised as one herself, and forced to help Romulan officers defect to the Federation.

(Source: Memory Alpha)

But what!

if.

Troi

_had

FAILED?

Blip // Viddler // Youtube



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