Part 11: Okabe Rintarou visits a maid cafe for business reasons

Video: MayQueen+Nyan².
(Because if I have to listen to Faris talk, then so do the rest of you. Mayuri's voice is Kana Hanazawa, Faris's is Haruko Momoi.)

As I open the door to MayQeen+Nyan², I am greeted by two smiling cat-eared maids.

"Ah, it's Okarin!"



She works here as 'Mayushii NyanNyan'. Due to that, I also come here about 2 times a month. I guess you could call me a regular customer.

By the way, I never go to any other maid cafes.

"Okarin, welcome home."

Bowing her head again, Mayuri exclaims as if she just thought of something.

"Hey hey, Okarin, Mayushii just thought of something... I can combine Okarin and 'welcome home' and just say 'Welcome Homekarin'♪"

How trivial...



The other maid - Faris NyanNyan - calls me by my true name as if it were natural, and attacks me with a combo of the upward glance treatment and cat-like gestures. She's the number 1 maid of MayQueen+Nyan².

She looks more like a loli than Mayuri, but they're about the same age.

"Daru-nyan is here, too. He's hopelessly wayting for something."

The reason Daru frequents this shop is to see Faris. Daru is the type of maniac who occasionally visits Faris's personal blog while mumbling something along the lines of 'Faris, you're so cute, Faris'. I keep telling him to choose between 2D and 3D, but he keeps ignoring me.

As for myself, I am not very good at dealing with her. That's because I feel as if I can't win against her.








"Y... Yes, that is correct."

"Faris wants to join too, nya~"

"Don't. The Organization is not weak enough for cat-eared maids to be a threat to it."

"That's nyot true! Faris has Thyat Secret Technique, and I know it will be useful nya!"

"What?! You finally mastered it?!"

"Thyat's right... On a journey for knowledge to the Guiana highlands after overcoming the death of myaster, Faris has finally obtained it nya!"

Who the hell is 'myaster'...



Since then, she got into this more than me, and she reports the situation from her side every time we meet. By the way, this is the first I've ever heard of 'That Secret Technique'.

"So, Kyouma, I want you to let Faris pawrticipate in the 'Spirit Court' nya."

Looks like Faris is on a rampage. If we keep this up, I'll waste at least 30 minutes.

"You want to go to The Sanctuary?! You can't. No matter how many Secret Techniques you possess, it's too soon for you to go there."



"Also, Faris's big brother is there..."

No, he isn't. And what the hell is this 'Spirit Court', anyway?!

Faris looks at me with teary eyes. Even if I know that she's messing around, this still caught me off guard. When I talk with her, I run out of retorts to use, and my mind goes out of order. Since she is the one who always leads the conversation, I always end up having to listen to her delusions. There's a limit to how far you can take a joke.

The things I say and the things that Faris says have a single fundamental difference: All that I speak is the truth, while what Faris speaks is nothing but delusions and made up crap. I always have to play along with those wild ideas of hers. That's why I feel as if I can't win against her.



Wahh, the airhead girl joined in. Now that it's come to this, the situation is too chaotic. I must end this conversation.

"You mustn't. This conversation is over."

"Eeeeh?"

"It's nyot fair if it's only Kyouma!"



"...Who the hell is Feris?"

Feris? Does she mean Faris? Could it be that Feris is her real name, and I've been mistaken all this time? That's a disturbing thought--

"You know, the name is kinda hard for Mayushii to pronounce, so I turned it into 'Feris'♪"

"Only that, huh?"

Just like the girls from an all-girls school. I kinda like it nya."

"Just hurry up and show me to the table. How long are you planning on holding me here?"

"Nyahaha, apawlogies. One guidance coming up, myaster♪
Mayushii, I leave it to you nyan nyan."

"Leave it to me nyan nyan♪"

It's a rule for the cat-eared maids of MayQueen+Nyan² to use 'nyan' to a certain degree. Mayuri grabs my hand and leads me to the table. Mayushii NyanNyan is the only one who lealds customers like this. Perhaps her lack of consideration and ability to do such things nonchalantly is the reason why she's the second most popular maid in the cafe.

I take a seat at Daru's table. About 6 people have been waiting at the entrance of the cafe. MayQueen+Nyan² holds the position of the main maid cafe in Akiba. Though, when you consider what Faris and the others are wearing, this is more like a cosplay cafe. It's much harder for maid cafes which use the cat-eared maid + NyanNyan speak to be successful, due to the differing opinions between maid cafe maniacs.

'A cat-eared maid is not a maid!'
'Cat-ears make a maid twice as good!'

These views are in complete opposition to one another. This establishment is one of the older maid cafes in Akiba, but it leaves a plain and simple impression due to the low exposure to the media.

By the way, all of that is Daru's opinions. He talks about this stuff so often that I remembered it without even trying.

"Daru, Okarin is here nyan."



While sitting in front of me and looking in some other direction, Daru complains.

"Now, say what you talked about with Faris, in detail."

"Do you really want to know? It's not something that you'd understand, anyway."

Hell, even I didn't get most of it...

"Aah, so it was the usual, huh? The conversations between Faris and Okarin are something that a normal otaku can't keep up with. It's like there's an aura around you both. You're creating a 2-person Reality Marble with her...! I will never forgive you!"

"It's almost like Feris is interested in Okarin nya. Out of all the maids and all the masters that come here, Okarin is the only one who can keep up with Feris's words nya."

Though even I can't keep up with it too well.

"I'm so jelly of Okarin! What a lucky bastard!"

"Fuh, I have no interest in that lying woman."

"Is this today's 'I don't wanna hear that from you' thread?"

"Silence, you unfaithful bastard! Your 2D wives are crying."

"Guhaa, that one hit me hard, bro..."

Daru grabs his chest and unnaturally falls on the table. I take a sip of the water that Mayuri left on it.



"Omelete rice. And a coffee, black."

"Understood NyanNyan♪"

After taking my order, Mayuri goes towards the counter while tottering between tables as if she were swimming.

"So, about that business you had with me..."

Thats right! After being confronted by the masseuse and the cat-girl, I almost forgot my real objective.

"I was gonna go to the lab after an hour..."

"I've got something that I want to talk to you about secretly and urgently."

I lean on the table, and reconnoiter the surroundings.

"You know who John Titor is, right?"



"A self-proclaimed time traveler from the future who appeared in America 10 years ago. I spoke to you about him not so long ago."

"You making stuff up again, Okarin?"

"I'm not! All I speak is the truth!"

"Haah, shit sucks. Well, I guess I can play along."
"So, what's the sauce on this guy being from the future?"

"Wait, why are you talking like it's the first you've ever heard of him?"

"Because it is."

"You sure you didn't forget?

"Dunno about that."

"Books about him were released in Japan."

"If you show me them, I might remember."

"You really don't know about him?"

"The memories of people are very vague, you know. They're completely different from digital memory."



This is truly weird. I might even call this a true abnormality.



He is quite the internet addict. However, the internet gives the user the choice of accessing only that information in which he is interested, and I don't know if Daru looked up information about John Titor. If he says that it's the first time he ever heard of him, there's the possibility that he just never looked him up on the net.

Are my memories wrong, or is it the memories of everyone else?

"Then, how about the IBN5100?"

"You know that PC, Okarin? Not bad."

"You know about it?"

"It's the model that IBN released in 1975."

Right, that's what John Titor wrote on @channel. That's why he first went to the year 1975, got the IBN5100, then time traveled to 1998.

"What kind of PC is it?"

"An expensive as fuck PC. Ever since the release, it was so expensive that normal people couldn't get their hands on it. That's kinda sad, since it was an excellent PC at the time, and IBN even installed some special features on it.
The IBN PC series released in 1981 were a bit hit and much more popular than the IBN5100. Still, all the information I know about the IBN5100 is from a Wiki on the internet."

"Did you hear the urban legend that one of them is in Akiba?"

"Yea, I heard it. It became the talk of the net about a month ago. Several volunteering @channelers explored Akiba's shops while looking for it. My friend Geji-nee was the main person behind that. Even that 'Lightning-fast Knight-Hart' guy joined in, but they couldn't find it."

"So this urban legend was nothing but a rumor, huh?"

"I dunno. There are lots of underground shops in Akiba, so it wouldn't be so strange for the IBN5100 to be hidden in one of the more suspicious ones."

"Hmm, I understand."








What's with this mail? Disregarding the weird timing, are the sender of this mail and Shining Finger really the same person? Even though we just exchanged addresses, she's being so familiar...

The tension is completely different, as well. Does she have a split personality or something?



I tell Daru to wait a bit, and start to type words into my phone. It's not like I trust that woman, but I believe that giving her the truth that Daru told me won't do any harm. It will also make her feel dejected! Fwahahahahaha!


And done.



A response already?! No time lag?!

As expected of Shining Finger, the woman whose fingers move at the speed of light. Clicking my tongue, I start reading the email.


Damn you! As I thought, she's really good at this. I think I got myself into something annoying.

I'd better not give a response to this one. The minimum requirements have been fulfilled, and I have nothing to feel guilty about.



"Now, I want to confirm one thing: IBN5100 is the item which can trigger the end of the world, right?"

"It's neither a trigger, nor will it end the world, bro."



Even while she's still doing her cat-lig antics, the balance of the trays she's holding with single hands doesn't break. Even with all the NyanNyan stuff, I feel lots of professionalism from Faris.

"Myaster, sorry to keep you waiting NyanNyan♪ Your omelet rice is here nyan!"

After putting the omelet rice on the table, the cat-girl takes out a full ketchup container from a pocket of her apron.





"Please enjoy your meal before the world ends!"

"Whoa, 'The World is in Danger!!'! Faris's writing is so cute that I'm in danger, too!"

Daru loses himself. I try to tell him to calm down via eye language, to no avail. With the bottom of my spoon, I erase the ketchup words.

"Aah... What a waste..."

What do you mean waste, I'm eating it either way.



"Yeah, of course! I'll participate, too!"

"Faris cup? What's that?

"Nyext Sunday, in this cafe, Faris is hawlding a 'Rai-Net' convention nya!"

Faris is lightly hopping in high spirits. I wish she wouldn't do that when people are eating nearby.

"Faris is the one who coordinates it, and you could awlso call me the one who brought it up nyan! Kyouma can come as well nyan! Drink included, the price is only 1000 yen. THe reward for the one who wins against Faris will be her hand-made food nya!"

"No, no. Okarin doesn't know much about Rai-Net."

"Nya? But it's so good."

"No, I'm fine..."

I stop eating the omelet rice and let out a small sigh.

"Rai-Net Access Battlers, huh? Whenever I hear that, I always remember that person, who was the champion... It's already been 2 years since then... No, it's nothing. Forget what you just heard."

"NyaNya? You were talking so seriously just neow! Who is 'that person' nya?"

"He probably doesn't exist. Rai-Net only began about 1 year ago."

"..."

"Kyouma, you still can't forget 'that person' nya?"

"...Huh?"

"I remember you and 'that person'... Faris's brother were on very good terms. So good that Faris was jealous nya."



I didn't say anything about 'that person' being Faris's brother! Hell, I don't even know if Faris HAS siblings! I shouldn't have talked like that in front of her!

"But, it's time to let go of the past nya!"

Her shout resounds through the cafe, and she points her finger at me.

"Even if it's paynful... No, BECCAUSE it's paynful, I accepted brother's dying wish, and have become a Rai-Netter, nyan!
Do you remember? The words that big brother always used to say... 'let's bring peace to the world through Rai-Net'--"

"Faris, bring me my coffee."

"NyaNya?"



I have a habit of eating my meals fast. I acquired it due to long years of being chased by The Organization. That's why slow food can go fuck itself.

"Understood nya. It will just be a moment♪"

Faris takes the dish and goes back to the counter while blabbering NyanNyan speak. Ahh, if that went on, I would've had to play along with her delusions for more than 10 minutes.



Daru explains to me with a bitter smile on his face.

"She had 400 informal battles, and wasn't beaten even once."

"What is she, Rickson Gracie?"

"It's a shame that Faris doesn't join the official tournaments. If she did, then she'd win for sure."

"Well, why doesn't she join?"

"Faris thinks about the customers here first and foremost. She says something along the lines of 'If it'd trouble the cafe, then I won't join the tournament'. She's a model maid. Also, since she's about the same age as Mayushi, she must go to school, too."

"Since she doesn't want to trouble the cafe, she's organizing the Faris Cup?"

"That doesn't matter at all! The point is that Faris is cute. Cute is justice. Cat-eared maids are sexually outrageous. That's all that matters."

"So are you into 2D or 3D? Decide already."

"Double the dimensions, double the fun."







Daru doesn't usually show any motivation, but he sure gets fired up in such situations. I really wish he'd apply some of this enthusiasm to our lab activities.