Part 119: Titor's resolve is questioned

Radio Kaikan's rooftop is boiling hot, even in the evening. When I provide the time machine repairman Daru with the refreshing gift of cola, his sweaty face looks lightened up.

"Oh, Okarin! You're giving me an ice cold zero calorie cola, how thoughtful of you!"

Daru happily takes the cola and chugs it straight from the bottle. Daru and Suzuha have a one-on-one discussion about the time machine's structure, while Mayuri and I watch from a distance.

"Hey, hey, Okarin. That satellite was a time machine. What a surprise, huh?"

"Yeah, sure was."

"It stuck into the building, but I'm glad that Suzu's safe!"
"She said it's really hard to drive. If the gravitational whatchamacallit device gets the coordinates the slightest bit wrong, the whole time machine becomes a Jellyman and it goes all ploop ploop. And since the machine isn't made by SERN, she said it's not all that stable. I’m worried about when she goes to 1975... If it’s a two-seater, then I could go with her."

"What are you going to do if you go with her?"

"Obviously, I'd hold Suzu's hand super tightly, and tell her that it's okay since Mayushii's here, cheering her on!"

"..."



"If you're interested, then just ask Titor directly."

"Ah, that's right! Mayushii completely forgot. Ehehe..."

Mayuri optimistically runs to Suzuha and comes back quickly.

"Yup. It has a name! FG204 Something Something, she said. Anyway, don't you think that Daru and Suzu really match?"

I look at Daru and Suzuha again.

"Daru's a Faris moe kind of guy."

"Ah, I see. Is that so?"

She tilts her head to the side.

"Hey hey, can Mayushii get a better look at the time machine?"

I nod, and Mayuri rushes towards the time machine again.



As the sunset fades into twilight, Suzuha stands beside me as if to change places with Mayuri. The setting sun stretches out shadows.





"..."

"Even though he looks unhealthy and lackluster."

"..."

A refreshing breeze blows by. It was quite hot just a while ago, but it finally seems like the temperature dropped.

"Umm... you know. If I don't say it now, I won't ever have another opportunity, so I'll say it now."

"..."

"Are you listening?"

After a little hesitation, I nod faintly.



"When I first came to this era, I didn't know anybody... It's completely different from my era, where I did nothing but fight. This era is a lot more peaceful, so peaceful that it really frightened me. But now I have friends... no, comrades, that I can expose all of myself to. I met people who lived before I was born, and everyone's working so hard for my sake. That makes me feel very strange... but also very happy, you know? Those are my true feelings."

A story I've already heard once. And just like that time, Suzuha has a very serious expression.





The truth I heard from Daru plays back in my head in an endless refrain.

""I was able to come to this era and spend time with all of you. It was really fun. Or rather, every single one of you was selfish, had weird habits, and was too dense... actually, I thought 'what's with these guys?' at first. But before I knew it, the times I spent with you all became fun. In 2036, everyone's too peaceful. There aren't any fights, you know?"

I shake my head.

"Anyway, there aren't any fights. Any disputes, from the micro to the macro level, have all completely disappeared. Instead, everyone has dead eyes like fish. Nobody has any aspirations. They just shuffle their feet forward. People do smile, but they don't get angry or sad. Nobody has any individuality. Everyone's like a robot.
Just before, you got really mad at me, didn't you? Back then, it really surprised me. It was a big shock, but at the same time... I was really happy."

Suzuha looks to the time machine. Right next to it, Daru and Mayuri are having an optimistic conversation about something or other.

"Everyone in your lab is so lively... so radiant. Shiina Mayuri and Hashida Itaru... and Makise Kurisu. And you, too."

"..."

"I wanted to be like you guys. The reason I can work this hard is because I met you guys. Being a lab mem, even for just a little while... was great."

Another serious smile. So serious she might cry at any moment. So serious she might break at any moment. That smile was so fragile...



Suzuha obviously knew from the beginning. If she traveled to 1975, she could never return.

"Okabe Rintarou. I'm sure you'll change the future. You'll change it into a world free like the present."

When I heard this story before, I thought she was sentimental because she couldn't return to her original 2036, but that's not the case. Forget about her original 2036. She can't even return her to 2010, unless she ages to 54. The present us and the present Suzuha can never meet again...

That's the mission Suzuha chose herself.
The mission to change the future.
The mission to save Mayuri.

Unless Suzuha leaps to 1975, Mayuri can't be saved. But then, what about Suzuha? She threw away the era she lived in, and now she's throwing away the era she spent with us. What does Suzuha think about that?

"...memories."

"Hm?"



"...What do you mean?"

"...Since you're not going to 1975 anyway, do you not regret getting along with us here in 2010? If you didn't, then you only would've had to throw away one trace of living. Because in actuality, it's like you're killing off your own existence, twice..."

"...Did Hashida Itaru tell you?"

Suzuha gets angry.

"He's worried about you."

"Geez. I even made sure to say not to tell anybody."

"So, what? What do you think about going to 1975?"

"...I don't have any other choice."

Suzuha's expression becomes suddenly cold.

"I need to. That's the path I chose, and my father's dying wish."

"What if Daru or I stop you?"

"I'll ignore you."



"But... I don't want the future to turn out like that. I want to give the people of my era a lifestyle like all of yours, with freedom, smiles, and occasional fights, arguments, and sad times, too. If I change the future, then I'm sure neither father, nor Shiina Mayuri, nor you will be killed by SERN. It might just be for my ego, but I'll go."

"You don't care what happens to yourself for that cause?"

"What are you saying? The 70s aren't a bad time, right? There, I'll find find friends just like you guys, and live free. Ahaha."

Suzuha is bright, to the very end, but she surely came across considerable conflict and made heroic decisions just to get here. With that in consideration, I think it's impossible for words like mine to waver that will.