Part 159: A preventable fatality occurs

A calling voice brings me back to my senses. Mayuri is alone, dragging around her carrying case. She's probably upset, since I completely stood her up on our promise this morning.

"You came! But... you're kinda late. Even thought Mayushii was waiting, all along... It was really lonely..."

"Sorry."

I can't look Mayuri in the eye. While Mayuri was waiting for the no-show Rukako and me, I had made the worst possible decision for her.

'Don't change Rukako back into a guy.' At the same time, that meant 'Don't save Mayuri.'

No, let's not beat around the bush.



It's not like I didn't want to save her. But at this rate, I...

"Where's Ruka?"

"She didn't come."

"Did you make her cry again?"

"No..."

I'm restless. I'm going to let Mayuri die. I feel like I need to be criticized. But, of course, this optimistic childhood friend of mine doesn't intend to criticize me in the slightest. This is my state of mind, in short.

Since I have a guilty conscience, Mayuri's words are like a sword straight through the heart. But even then, I can't change the past anymore. I don't want to change it. So, I have no other choice. I have to accept the death this world so desires.

Normally, I would have had to face Mayuri's death whether I liked it or not; I wouldn't have been able to try and avoid it. But, by chance, I had a power equal to God, so I could try again and again. I am special. Or rather, I should be thankful for being special.

"Okarin...?"

It'll be bad if Mayuri senses my unrest. This girl can immediately see through my nuances.



Until that time, at the very least, I don't want to give Mayuri any worries. So, I put on the mask of Hououin Kyouma, like I did for Rukako just a while back.

"Kk, hohoho, whooohahaha! Don't fret, Mayuri! Things between Rukako and me are juuuust peachy! I am tied to that miko stationed at Akihabbara by a strong bond. That's right, Rukako and I are connected by fate whether we like it or not! And today, this genius I call myself, boasting of gray matter with an IQ of 170, has returned the smile to Rukako's face. She even said so herself: That it was fun to be with me in our pursuit of knowledge!"

When this words leave my lips, I think I did it. With this, it looks like I stood up my promise with Mayuri to give Rukako a fun time, doesn't it?

...Well, that's partly what happened. The other part is something I shouldn't tell Mayuri.

"Really? That's great!"

Yet Mayuri still optimistically gives me a smile of relief.

"Then, Okarin and Ruka don't have anything to split up about, right?"

"Uh, yeah. We won't split up."



That's what we agreed on, but I don't think it's necessary to tell her.

"I see! Then Mayushii can concentrate on ComiMa without any worries!"

"Mayuri, you're going to participate tomorrow, too?"

"Yeppers. It lasts three days, you know."

I shouldn't have asked. I secretly bite my lip. I become wary of my phone's clock. Last time I checked, it was about 7 PM, but I don't have the guts to check again. I don't want to see Mayuri's death clock tick down second by second.

"Daru's late, huh... You know, I called him a while ago, and he said he was still close by."

"It doesn't really matter if you leave him."

"Let's wait a little bit longer."

If that's what Mayuri wants, I won't stop her. Besides, I don't want Mayuri's last moments to be in a crowded train or bus, but rather, somewhere like here, where she can see the stars.

...Not that I have the right to choose where she dies.

"Hey hey, do you think we can still somehow convince Ruka to cosplay? How should we persuade her, though?"

Mayuri's mood is completely healed. Why is she so happy? Was there something pleasing to her somewhere in this long conversation? Was it knowing that things were going well between me and Rukako? Or was it that I came here, even though I was this late?

I don't know. I don't know, but looking at Mayuri's happy face conversely makes my heart tighten.

"I think it would really fit Ruka if she cosplayed Kirari-chan! Ruka is so cute, she makes Mayushii's heart throb, you know. I want to spread the word of Ruka's cuteness to people all over the world, don't you, Okarin?"

"..."

"Ah, or maybe you plan to keep Ruka all to yourself? But, you know, you shouldn't monopolize her. Even Mayushii wants to kyun kyun with Ruka!"

"No, not really. You can do what you want. It's not like I can keep her all to myself."

"Ehehe, I seeee, that's great♪ Anyway, there's also one more reason I want to get Ruka to cosplay."

Mayuri’s awfully obsessed with Rukako today.



Even more so than before.

"Ruka's usually a very obedient girl, right? She rarely gives her own opinion. When you cosplay, your usual self becomes another self. That's why I think that if Ruka cosplays once, even if it's embarrassing at first, she'll definitely find a new Ruka. And when that happens, she'll become more assertive than before, and maybe even dominate Okarin in the butt! Ehehe."

She's just being herself, thinking her weird thoughts, but I can't do anything about it if she speaks her mind now, of all times...



She lifts both hands high. She looks up at the night sky. She strains her back to catch the stars floating by.

Stardust Shakehand.

"Can you see the stars?"

"Yeah."

You can see more stars clearly in Ariake than in Akiba. If Mayuri were to call out to the stars like this... If she could blend into them and fade away... Wouldn't that be just great? Then the usual me would have seen Mayuri reaching her hand out to the sky like that, and pulled her back to earth.

But today, I didn't dare. What does Mayuri think about whenever she reaches her hands out to the starry sky like this? I've never asked her about it. I wonder if I could ask her now.

"Hey, Mayuri--"



I see Daru calling to us while noisily running.

Ah, Daru, you're late!"



Daru's backpack is full to the brim, plus he's also holding onto about five paper bags depicting moe illustrations. Such zeal.

"Then, shall we?"

Mayuri gets up to lead the way, and we start heading towards the train station. The direct shuttle bus to Akiba has already ended its service.

"It was so hot again today I thought I was gonna die! How were the cosplay grounds?"

"The breeze felt great!"

"Well, it's not like Mayushii cosplayed herself, though. Annnyway, when'd you get here, Okarin? Buy something?"

"No."

"Huhhuh? Why so grim? What's that face even though you're a normalfag with a girlfriend?"

"..."

"Okarin? Is something wro..."

Mayuri, who had raised a concerned voice towards me, suddenly stops speaking. The carrying case she was holding falls to the ground with a thud.



The time... has come...





Her face twisted in pain.

Slowly.

As if in slow motion, I see it frame by frame.

She tumbles down.

All too suddenly.

That's why.

I couldn't catch her in my arms.



"Mayushii...?"

I stand stock still.

Suffocation. Even if she tried breathing, it seemed like no oxygen would reach her lungs.

Strangely, I felt no sorrow. No, I felt guilt. A death I anticipated. A death I could have prevented.





Daru tosses away his baggage and rushes to Mayuri. He lifts her up and slaps her cheeks a bit.

I keep observing the scene as if it has nothing to do with me.

"She's... not breathing... Eh? What is this... what the hell is this...?"
"Okarin! Mayushii, there's something wrong with Mayushii!"

"...She's dead."

What could be the cause? A heart attack?

It's not like she was killed. That's a relief. Mayuri died with an unsullied body.

"She's dead... No, that can't be! I mean, just now, she was talking like normal! Hey, Mayushii! Wake up! Where's the camera?! There's a hidden camera, right?! I'm on candid camera, aren’t I?!"

"Daru."

I put my hand on Daru's shoulder to calm him down.

"Mayuri is dead."

Daru starts to turn pales at my words. His lips tremble as he looks at Mayuri's face in disbelief.

"Let's call an ambulance."

"Why did this happen..."



"She's dead, you know! She's never coming back, you know! Don't you get it, Okarin?!"

"...I get it."

"No, you don't get it! Mayushii's not breathing! See?!"

"I... let her die."

"Huh...?"

I kneel beside Mayuri.



I reach out to Mayuri's body, which moves not one bit.

"Now, that's not it. I didn't save you."

Sorry, I mutter in my mind, and I tightly embrace her.

"Abandoned you. I abandoned you, Mayuri."



I shed no tears. I might have gotten used to it. Or, maybe I was aware how I was unworthy to mourn for her. What filled my heart was emptiness.