Part 162: Urushibara Ruka suppresses his feelings

(Enough sidetracking. Time to see where Steins;Gate's choice will lead us.)



Rukako places her finger

on top of mine.

On top of the Send button...

"Thank you... Okabe."





Video: D-mail sent





The feeling of another warm hand slips through my fingers with a strong sense of vertigo.



But I no longer feel her clinging to my body. That feeling slowly slipped away.

Rukako is standing a little bit away from me, looking at me, as if sending me off. No tears are on that face. A bewildered smile.



Hold it back...

"Hey, Rukako."

"Yes?"

"You're..."

I hesitate for a moment, but I make up my mind.

"...a guy, right?"



"She" is no longer here. Instead, "he" is. Cute facial features like a girl. Looks good in miko clothes.



I tightly bite my lip. Rukako went back to being a guy.

"Do you... like me?"

"Eh, what's this all of a..."

"...Do you like me?"

"Ummm, well..."



Just what part of me is respectable? I'm not that sort of proper man, but that's not what matters now. Rukako's answer seemed clear, but wasn't. He didn't say he liked me or he hated me.





Even now, when he's become a guy again, Rukako might still like me. But, he can't speak honestly about those feelings, no matter how much time flows. Because Rukako has prepared himself for that, I can't trespass into his heart any more than this.

I might be running away. Maybe I should trespass instead. But, I'm not that strong a man. If I do trespass, then I might just end up hurting Rukako. That's why I can't.

"Thanks. Now and forevermore, I want you to be my disciple... Is that okay?"

"Eh, ah, yes, of course."

I cast down my eyes, unable to look straight into Rukako's shy face. The world line changed. Rukako became a guy again.



In the world line where Rukako was a girl, she was cleaning the storehouse and broke the IBN 5100. But now, since Rukako became a guy again, he shouldn't have cleaned the storehouse, and he shouldn't have broken the IBN 5100.

Looking at the clock, it's 6:46 PM. Speaking from past experience, it's very likely that we avoided Mayuri's death for today, since the world line changed. But just to prepare for the worst case, I should get back to the lab within the hour.





"An old computer...? I don't think we have that. I don't really understand computers... I haven't played with them much."

When Rukako was a girl, she trembled when I asked her the same question, and then she smiled, as if to hide the worry and pain of not wanting to say "I broke the computer". But now, she's not trembling. Rukako honestly doesn't know.

"Go get your father for me."



"An old computer... Hmm, I certainly do remember that."
"I'll go check. Please wait a bit."

He says so, heading into the treasury in back, just like in the previous world line. But in the previous world line, since Rukako secretly moved it, the IBN 5100 was no longer in the storehouse. How will it turn out this time...

Ruka's dad returns after about 10 minutes. His face is serious. I know what to expect at this point. Even in this world line, I knew it...



I quickly peek at Rukako's face. Blank. He doesn't seem to know anything. Rukako is innocent. I'm sure of it.

"The storehouse lock was broken. Someone might have taken it away."

"Taken it away...?"

It didn't disappear, but was taken away? So, basically, a thief broke in?!

"There's evidence of a heavy object being dragged. It wasn't there at the end of the year cleaning, and the lock wasn't broken when I checked last month. I didn't think a thief would break in..."

"So, we need to report it to the police..."

I sigh a little while listening in on the Urushibaras' discussion.

"There's no point if it's not in the storehouse..."

It still won't come back. There's only one, or maybe two D-mails left that I should cancel. Which one? I feel like if I just cancel that one, I can get back the IBN 5100.

"Um, Okabe, I don't really understand, but... please stay careful. Uh, I mean, you don't have to if your heart isn't in the right place."

I make a bitter smile. Seeing Rukako frantically cheer me on is so adorable.



"You're using that phrase wrong, you know."

I point that out and leave the shrine.





In other words, D-mails that have activated Reading Steiner. There are two of them.



I sent that from my phone to my phone. It's not too hard to cancel that one. The problem is the other one.

The name of that D-mail's sender.

The name I'd rather not say again.



I understand the contents of the D-mail she sent before as part of our experiments. Back then, I didn't fully understand D-mails. That's why we kept experimenting. When Moeka said "I want to send a D-mail," I gave her these requests:
Make the contents simple enough that any changes to the past are obvious.
Make the contents public to all lab members.

In the end, what Moeka sent was to undo her phone model exchange that happened a few days before. The D-mail was sent to July 31. I remember it since it's a nice cutoff date.

I don't know how that's related to the IBN 5100's disappearance from Yanagibayashi Shrine. It probably influenced it through the Butterfly Effect, I guess.

I don't have the same hesitation as I did with Rukako.



That friend of ours killed Mayuri over and over. I don't intend to forgive her at all. So, I'll cancel the D-mail Moeka sent without holding back. But, the problem is....

The cancellation D-mail needs to be sent from Moeka's phone itself. If I sent a mail from my address saying "Don't change models," I don't think it would sway Moeka's intention at all. But, I don't know where she is.

I click my tongue impatiently. Unless I can locate and obtain her cellphone, I can't cancel her D-mail...