Part 179: A grim future is verified

As long as I had the conviction to achieve that belief, everything would be resolved. The only absolute answer.

That entire equation collapsed in on itself. Instead, what was presented was...





That sort of extreme choice.





They still haven't repaired the hole in the eighth floor wall that the satellite - that Suzuha's time machine had destroyed. I can look down on Akiba's streets frpm the rooftop. From up here, the streets look tight. Above the guardrail in front of me, a yellow train runs through the Sobu Line.

I wanted to be alone, so I came here. They day before yesterday, I canceled our plan to crack with the IBN 5100 right after hatching it. Kurisu and Daru pressured me to tell them why, but I just couldn't explain.

It's already been two days since. I couldn't make a decision when faced with such an extreme choice. What should I do?



On that day, where I'm standing right now, when Doctor Nakabachi presented his would-be time machine. July 28th. Two weeks ago.

Let's say that, as planned, we delete the first D-mail I sent - the one conveying Kurisu's death - from SERN's database. Then, I return to the β World Line, where it all began. What would happen then?

My predictions would say that our comrade, Lab Member 004, Makise Kurisu... would disappear. It's a contradiction for someone who died two weeks ago to be alive on August 15th. A time paradox. Kurisu must not exist on August 15th. The world has already eliminated her existence.

I have been given two choices.



If we do that to return to the β World Line, Kurisu would disappear, but Mayuri wouldn't die. In the future, the world would be free, without SERN creating a dystopia.



Mayuri will most likely die. So will Moeka and FB. Kurisu may be forced by SERN to pursue time machine research, but at the very least, she won't die. And then, SERN will rule space-time, and complete their dystopia in the future.



I laugh in self-derision. I can do nothing but laugh. Such an absurd decision. This is...

"This isn't something... I can choose..."

I don't really care about the future, be it free or ruled by SERN's dystopia... though I really should care, since Suzuha entrusted her wish to me. I should think this through properly.

But no matter how much I try to think 20 years into the future, I just can't feel a sense of impending doom. What's important to me now is Mayuri and Kurisu. Whose life to steal.

If I were given this choice back on July 28th, I would probably have chosen to abandon Kurisu and save Mayuri without any hesitation. But those conditions don't really mean anything. It isn't July 28th. It's August 15th.



All these times I've time leaped, I've been saved countless times by Kurisu's existence. She was always calm, always precise, always giving interesting hypotheses, always pushing my back. The Time Leap Machine wouldn't even have been completed if it weren't for Kurisu. Just the fact that I've reached this point is all thanks to that genius girl. How the hell could I just abandon her?

But on the other hand, letting Mayuri die is also out of the question.



I came prepared to throw away my life if it's for her sake. I want to save Mayuri more than anyone else. I want her to live, so I absolutely can't just sit back and watch her die.

I won't let Mayuri die.



In other words, this choice is 'which do I kill'.

"Is this how... it ends..."

I drive my fist into the wire fence.

"Suzuha, Faris, Rukako, Moeka... I've come all the way here by sacrificing your memories, and this is how it ends...?!"

Is there no other option? A loophole, where neither dies.



After returning to the β World Line, time travel to July 28th with Suzuha's time machine.

No, that's impossible. In the first place, Suzuha leapt to 2010 to change the future of SERN's rule. That cause and effect only happens in the α World Line. Once I escape from the α World Line, Suzuha's desired future will be realized, eliminating her reason to leap to 2010. If Suzuha's time machine only exists in the β World Line, I can't use it.

...In that case, what if I send a D-mail to Kurisu that day, warning her? Warning...



No, that won't work, either. There's the Attractor Field Theory. Cause and Effect will converge. No matter what I do in the β World Line, Kurisu will die. No matter how I try to avoid it, it'll be like how I couldn't save Mayuri. Here in the α World Line, the world wishes for Mayuri's death. In the β World Line which I'm struggling to get to, the world wishes for Kurisu's death.

"It's no good..."

I slowly sink to the floor with my back to the wire fence.

"I can't... save her..."

I'm powerless against the result the world wishes for. What should I... What should I do...

Maybe...



Moeka's mail got cancelled. I haven't seen the Divergence Meter in detail. So, the possibility isn't zero, is it? Or perhaps, following the flow of things, the deadline of Mayuri's death is the night of the 17th. If Mayuri doesn't die that night between 7 and 8... then there will be no need for me to make this extreme decision. From all my experiences so far, I understand it's unlikely, but even so, I can't help but cling onto that hope.

Mayuri and Kurisu. If I can save both of them, I don't care if this future is ruled by SERN. I can even easily betray the memories Suzuha entrusted to me. So please. Don't wish for Mayuri's death any more...!

Those wishes of mine, those prayers of mine... to whom should I send them? To God? To the world? Surely in that case, the tiny prayers of a man like me won't reach...

I embrace the conviction known as hope within my heart.



That last day, I go with Mayuri to the event grounds from morning till the end, though all I did was carry Mayuri's bags. It's not really my thing, and the crowd was dreadful, so I just spaced out in the corner. Occasionally, Mayuri and I would go back for food and drink, but otherwise, I spent the day alone.

In some sense, it was escapism. I made my mind a blank, distracting myself from the ominous premonition... but even so, I felt the grim reaper's countdown clock tick down, and couldn't calm myself.





It's already dark when we get home by non-stop shuttle bus. In Mayuri's hand is her costume carrying case. In my hands are illustrated paper bags. Inside is a large amount of doujinshi. By the way, it's not what I bought, but what Mayuri bought. Maybe this was the reason she didn't participate in cosplay. After all, buying stuff there is hectic.

We just stand there for a while after getting off the bus.

"What are you going to do form here? Head straight home?"

"No. Actually, I was thinking of going to the lab."

"Need something?"

"Not really, but it's been a while since I've gotten to relax with Okarin, so... I'm a little hungry, so on the way, I'll buy some Juicy Karaage Number One."

ComiMa, the unusual festival, has ended. I want to experience the everyday after these long three days... That's what I might have thought. I hold back a groan and shrug.

"Well, let's go home."



"Before now, you haven't come to ComiMa with me, right? Okarin isn't interested in moe, huh."

"I'm interested in mecha anime."

Not so much that I'd line up early in the morning each year for ComiMa like Daru or Mayuri, though.

"So, why did you come with me today?"

"It was..."

To confirm Mayuri's death. Those words float through my head, but I desperately shake them out. Why am I so set on Mayuri dying? What I should be wishing for instead is that Mayuri doesn't die.

"It was?"

"...On a whim."

"I see..."

"..."

"..."

We're suddenly visited by silence. Mayuri's face, which is usually smiling, now looks unusually downhearted. Did she not like my answer? It's not like I could just give her the real answer. I mean, there's no way I can just say "you will die in a few minutes," can I...

"Rukako..."

I start making excuses in a panic.





"Ah, yeah... Even though Ruka would absolutely get really popular... His images would get uploaded to all sorts of blogs, he'd appear in newspapers and on news sites, and he'd even get introduced overseas! And then Ruka would be a worldwide superstar. And then Mayushii would think him and think 'Oh, he's gone so far!'"

"It's scary 'cause it's true..."



Suddenly, Mayuri turns to me, walking backwards and peeking at my face.

"Thank you for today."

"What’s this all of a sudden..."

"Ehehe... Well, I said so before, but this is the first time Okarin came with me to ComiMa. It made Mayushii really happy♪"

A smile finally returns to Mayuri's face.

"Ah, but you know, if Okarin cosplays next time, it would make me even happier!"

"...Ahh, I'll think about it."

Yeah. Don't think negative thoughts. Think about a fun, bright future.

"Eh? It's okay? Really?"

"If you participate in cosplay yourself, that is. And not just that, but Rukako too... and invite Cristina. Persuade them to cosplay. If you can get that far, then I, the star performer, the insane mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma, will have no choice but to descend upon ComiMa."

The next ComiMa is in winter. We'd go there, as if nothing had happened. We'd all get together with smiling faces. Let's think of that future.

"Ohhkay. Looks like a steep road ahead! But you know, if I try imagining it, it seems really fun."
"And I think Cris has some interest in cosplay, too. There is hope♪ Mayushii's gonna do her best."



I look up to the second floor window, but there's no light. Nobody's here today, unlike usual. I have a bad feeling about this.

Is Moeka planning an ambush under the cover of night? Although I've forgiven Moeka, Manager and the Rounders in previous world lines, those times have already been undone. In this world line, the truth that they're aiming for the Time Leap Machine is left unchanged.

"Mayuri, wait here for a bit."

Motioning for her to sit and wait on the bench in front, I check my surroundings. I know this precaution is useless, but still, I want to do what I can in order to bet on the slight chance Mayuri doesn't die in this world line. It doesn't seem like a good idea to just rush into the lab from the front. I think I'll first search the circumference of the building for any suspicious figures lurking in the shadows.

I part from Mayuri and proceed towards Kuramae Bridge, all the while making sure Mayuri doesn't leave my sight. I survey my surroundings looking for any sign of danger.





"Eh..."

I can clearly see the driver's seat. I try to identify the man's face, but nobody immediately comes to mind. At the very least, it's not Manager or Moeka, but I do remember seeing that white station wagon. In previous world lines, whenever Moeka would try to run us over, it was in this white station wagon. When Manager retrieved the IBN 5100, he was in that same car.

It's heading my way at full speed. I check the place I'm standing. Center of the street. At this rate, I'll be run over...



My vision becomes completely enveloped in its light. At the same time, my mind turns pure white. My feet freeze at the sudden change of events. This ambush is still an ambush, but instead of inside the lab, it's outside, and the opponent is a car.

What to do? What should I do? It's okay. I shouldn't die. The world hasn't recognized my death.

No, wait, what day is it today? Isn't this the first time I've come all the way to the 17th? Meaning, whether or not I die hasn't been decided yet...? Will I die in Mayuri's place? In that case, maybe I can go in peace.

No! I don't want to die! These two contradictory thoughts run through my mind. My body won't react at all contrary to my will. Will I be the one to die?

"Okarin!"

"?!"



I open my eyes. I crawl to the edge of the road. My body is in pain, but I'm just scratched a bit at most.

I was saved?

I raise my head. What I see is...



And then, a little bit away from me - in the center of the road - Mayuri's collapsed figure.

"Mayuri!"

I rush over to her.

Mayuri is... bleeding, from her head.

Did she protect me...? That's, That's just...





Mayuri's eyelids twitch and then slowly open.



"Mayuri... I'm sorry... because of me..."

Her thin hand wanders, as if seeking something. It's raised towards the starry sky. Her eyes look like they'll shut at any moment. But even so, they look straight into mine. For some reason, she's smiling.

"Finally, Mayu... shii... was... useful... for... Okarin..."

"What... are you..."

Her hand raised to the starry sky grasps at the air.



It loses strength immediately. I grab the wrist that threatens to fall to the earth.

Mayuri no longer breathes.



This time is just... too much... This is all my fault, isn't it...

I embrace Mayuri's tattered body, which no longer responds, nor moves at all. I hold back my tears from overflowing.

"Hey, Mayuri... From here, you can't really see the stars too much, can you... This is... too much..."

Why did she have to die here? What was the meaning of this death? The death that the world wished for. Fate that always converges to the same result. I knew it would turn out like this.

I couldn't avoid Mayuri's death. I knew it from previous experience. But to think I could save her from death... How could she die while smiling...

"What do you mean 'you were finally useful'...? Huh, Mayuri..."

Mayuri has no future in this world line. I can't run away after all.

Reach the β World Line by hacking SERN and killing Kurisu?
Do nothing and accept Mayuri's death?

I need to make a decision. Not anyone else, but the one who has been messing around with the world line as he pleases. Me.