Part 185: Makise Kurisu returns to America

The explanation was long, and went off on many tangents. Furthermore, Mayuri wasn't use to this sort of conversation, so she kept eagerly asking question after question. Thanks ot that, the conversation became quite long, and it got this late before I knew it.

"And that is my, Hououin Kyouma's, magnificently devised plan, codename World Chaotification! Fuuhahaha!"

Haah, finally, the explanation's over...





She is looking down, firmly clenching the hands placed on her lap.

"...Why the long face?"

Mayuri waggles her head back and forth while biting her lip.

Both Okarin and Cris have been suffering, haven't you... And yet Mayushii's been making costumes without a care... Like a fool...! Mayushii didn't know any of this...!"

"You... You don't need to feel responsible. Because everything's going just as I planned! Are you disillusioned, Mayuri? Sorry, but I'm a man who's perfectly fine with sacrificing his comrades. Consequently, even if you say you don't want to go to the β World Line, I don't intend to comply. You'll be my hostage, and stay with me until the very end, you know. Hahaha! May chaos come to the world! This, too, is the choice of Steins;Gate!"

But before that performance of mine can ripen, Mayuri softly stands up, and starts to leave the lab with unsteady feet. Confused, I grab her wrist and detain her.

"H-Hey, where are you going?!"



"Please, Okarin. I want to see Cris..."

"..."

I just can't refuse Mayuri's request as she clings onto me.





I was wondering why she wanted to meet so early in the morning, but I understood when I saw her:

She was holding a large suitcase.



She faces us and grins.

"What's that suitcase... Don't tell me..."

"Hm? Ah, yeah, it's what you think."

"Are you going back home? To America?"

Kurisu nods.

"I was originally supposed to go back in August, but I got caught by a certain mad scientist, and ended up staying longer than planned. There's nothing more I can help you with anyway, and there's no point in just being a future trouble."

I wonder if she's looking out for me. Or maybe she's fleeing the city alone to shake off her fears. It's not like I have a right to stop her, and even if I did, it wouldn't change anything. Today, I will commence cracking into SERN as planned, and move to the β World Line. I won't waver any longer.



"Mayuri, what's wrong? Are you feeling bad?"

I gently push Mayuri from behind.

"C'mon, Mayuri."

"..."

And Mayuri takes just one step towards Kurisu. She hesitates a little, but then immediately makes a mad dash towards Kurisu, and embraces her.





"You know, Mayushii really doesn't want Cris to be gone..."

Kurisu, noticing Mayuri's tearful voice, asks me with her eyes: 'Did you tell her?' I silently nod.

"Don't disappear for Mayushii's sake, okay?"

"Mayuri, you..."

"Mayushii doesn't want to live so much that she'd sacrifice Cris for it!"

I expected Mayuri might say as such. That's why she needs to cope with our resolution here. I feel bad for Kurisu, but it's necessary to say this.

"This has to be done. I chose you, Mayuri. Your responsibility is to be saved."



I just said a horrible thing.

"Kurisu and I exchanged a contract, that she'd abandon her life for your sake. If you just throw that away, calamity will strike this earth...!"

I tightly clench my fists. I frantically suppress my regret.

"Don't put Kurisu's feelings to waste, Mayuri!"

"But... But..."

"Thanks, Mayuri."

Kurisu moves her hand to Mayuri's back, returning the hug.

"But I've already come to this conclusion deep inside, and I've already agreed."



"Huhwha...?"

"Wh, Whahwa, What are you saying...?!"

"The truth, right?"

She gives me a mischevious smirk.

"So, if you died, it would make Okabe very sad. You don't want to give Okabe that sort of memory, do you?"

"But... If Cris's gone, it would make Mayushii sad..."

"Yeah, it's sad... that we won't be able to meet. But anyway, I plan to stay alive by going home to America. So, even if I go to another world line, if you think of me being in America, it's not that big a difference."

"That's not the problem! I don't want Cris to disappear...! Let's stop, okay? Don't make Cris disappear..."

Kurisu separates from Mayuri and peers straight into her face.

"You shouldn't trouble me or Okabe any further."

A gentle tone, like when dealing with children. She lightly strikes the forehead of Mayuri's face that's about to cry.



"...Understood."

"Well, then, I'm going."
"It's a relief to think that I'll never have to see Okabe's face again."

She mouths off that hurtful remark with a smile on her face. The gap between her bitterly bright attitude now, and her attitude yesterday when we embraced shivering in the dark, makes my heart feel hollow.

I'm sorry.

My words of apology remain nothing but echoes in my heart.

"Cris, don't go... please, don't go...!"

"Don't follow me!"

Kurisu, who had turned her back to Mayuri, throws out a harsh voice. Mayuri twitches, and then stands still.

"Don't show any sympathy. It'll just make us miserable. This is what I decided. Nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.

"..."

"...Goodbye."



And then Kurisu left.

This early morning Akihabara, where the sun still hasn't risen. Disappearing on the first train, tugging along a suitcase all alone.

Mayuri crumpled down on the spot, close to tears. I try to approach her, and hear a faint mutter.



"You have nothing to apologize for. Everything was my decision. That Kurisu will disappear. That I won't save her. And... that chaos will visit the world... You can't forgive me, can you, Mayuri? Then hate me. But even then, you'll be with me until the end. I... I, for the sake of saving you, let Kurisu die. So, no matter how much you hate me, my opinion will be the opposite... I no longer plan on going... back... No one... can stop my ambition..."

Mayuri slowly stands up. And, just like she did to Kurisu, she buries her face into my chest.

"Sniff... Okarin...



My real... feelings...?

Mayuri looks straight up into my eyes.

"I want to hear what Okarin is thinking inside, with honest words. Because Mayushii... doesn't want to be a burden any longer..."

"You're not... there's no way you could ever be...! This is all for my ego. I just wanted to save you... I just don't want to lose you..."

"Yeah... Thank you, Okarin... Thank you..."

While trying with all her might to put a fleeting smile on her face wet with tears. Mayuri once again buries her face into my chest.

"I've always seen... these scary dreams... But a cool Okarin would also appear in each of them... Those probably weren't dreams, were they... You always came to save Mayushii, didn't you... Hey, Okarin. You know, Mayushii..."



"Since Okarin is there for me, Mayushii can smile every day... Can we be together from now, too...?"

"...Obviously."

Answering Mayuri, I hug her.

"My answer to that's so obvious... I never want to be apart..."

"Yeah... You know... Mayushii will find her happiness... Since I promised Cris."

"Yeah."

"Please help me find it..."

"Yeah."

"Please don't leave me..."

"Yeah."

"Please let me love you forever..."

"Yeah."

The radiance of the sunrise pours out between the buildings.

Daybreak.