Part 67: A mutually beneficial exchange is established

Faris's expression suddenly gets dark.

"Why?"


"You wanna knyow?"

Faris approaches me with a sexy look on her face.

"That's because..."

Faris gently strokes my cheek with her cool, slender fingers. After entrancing me, Faris... smiles and laughs.





Dammit, this catgirl made a fool of me...!

"Anyway, Faris wants all her big Faris LOVE fans to keep treating her the same way they have nyan☆"

For some reason, Daru makes a guts pose after seeing Faris's cutesy act.

"I'll treat you! I'll treat you at full force!"

"Mayushii's also a Faris fan! Faris's maid spirit is really amazing. I adore you!"

Daru and Mayuri are in complete adoration, but I disagree.

"I don't care about this Faris LOVE crap!"

I thrust my finger at Faris's nose.

"Don't get so caught up in the moment, Faris NyanNyan. If you refuse, then this whole apartment will be stained in blood. You purposefully called me to your home to show off your celebrity status as if to bring leverage into our negotiations, but it's futile. The reason is because I am the insane mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma!"

"Th-That's not a reason at all..."

Hmph, that should settle it. With this, Faris should be all "heeeeee" and ask for my forgiveness while shaking in fear.



"Hanya~n♪ Assertive people are so lovely nyan."

"What... was that...?"

That's what I want to say. What was that? I wanted to threaten her, not enthrall her. So Faris is a masochist, huh...!

"Honestly speaking, Faris didn't want to talk so much about herself nya. Faris has met a lot of people before, but whenever they learn she's the Akiha Heiress, they all stop seeing Faris as Faris nya. Faris and Akiha Rumiho want to be seen as separate nya."

"There's nothing to separate. You've already established yourself as Faris NyanNyan, have you not?"

"Nya?"

"I completely agree with you on that point, Okarin! Whenever she speaks NyanNyanian and wears her cat ears, that is Faris!"

"You're the over-conscious one, Faris."

"Is that so nya..."

"You're too self-conscious. To me, no matter where you go, you are nothing but the unbeatable cat ear maid!"



Did I say something to be grateful for? Well, Faris probably admires my human tolerance. Fuhahaha!

Now then, let's finish this idle gossip and get down to business.

"Now then, Faris, you said you had conditions in exchange for your search for the IBN 5100. What are they? Be careful about your conditions. If I release... my right hand just once, everything will be destroyed and nothing will remain... just so you know."

"It's okay nya."

Faris points at the cat ears sticking out of her head.

"Within these cat ears lies the power to completely negate all abilities, NyanNyan Clear. When Kyouma's power rampages, Faris will surely stop it."

I really shouldn't have talked about this hand to Faris, huh... Faris's true terror is her ability, "Dubbing 10", which allows her to overbearingly steal other people's stories and add them to her own backstory. By the way, I named it "Dubbing 10". The number 10 doesn't really mean anything.

"Well then, I guess I'll announce it, nya. Faris's condition..."

Faris lets out a chuckle, but I notice that her eyes aren't laughing.



I see... I had a feeling that was it.

"You two said so at MayQueen yesterday, nya? That you developed a time machine."

"Indeed. We ran the first successful time machine experiments in human history."

"Like I said, the first was SERN..."

"But don't misunderstand."





"Our level of success was sending a 36 byte mail to someone's phone in the past. However, this alone is worthy of a Nobel Prize in Physics, a transcendental super invention that repaints human history."

"It can send a mail to someone in the past? That's pawesome! Faris wants to use it by all means nya!"

Faris jumps around with a face full of glee.

"The time machine is our lab's most important confidential matter. If you want to use it no matter what, then you must become a lab mem."

"Lab mem? What's that nya?"

"Well, it means you get to be a part of our circle♪ Mayushii'd be super happy if Faris became a lab mem."

"Same here! It would be a Warm! Wel! Come! Please join by all means!"

"How do I become a lab mem nya?"

"There is no contract. The only necessary thing is... yes, the blood covenant."

"Blood... covenant...!"

The window should be closed, but a gust of wind blew. It was the air conditioner. Outside the window, though, I see rainclouds cover the sky. I hear the rumbling of thunder inside my brain.

"Thou, Faris NyanNyan. If it is thy desire to abide by the code of law passed down in the High Ancient Word from times long forgotten, and join the ranks of the lab mems, then lift up thy flesh, lift up thy bone, lift up thy blood in the heaven's grail and receive the covenant of baptism! Thy duty fulfilled, the forgotten god shall grant thee thy lab mem number."

"I didn't understand a word of that..."

"Awawah. What to do? Mayushii doesn't have a blood coffin ant or a heavy's quail... does that mean Mayushii's not a lab mem...?"

"Mayushii, I think you should be OK. This is just Okarin's usual habit."

"I see! If it's his usual habit then that's that♪ But thank goodness."

"Understood nya. I'll take the blood covenant nya..."

Faris puts on a serious face and grips a small knife placed on the top of the desk...



"--!?"

"Noo!"

"Uh, isn't it a paper knife?"

"Nyahaha♪ Daru-nyan's right, nya!"

Gh, she surprised me...!

I clear my throat and pull myself together.



"Yes nya. Now can I use the time machine nya?"

"Yeah. That's correct. But it's useless to reveal our secret. Death to betrayers. That's the law of the lab. Remember it."

"I didn't know that."

"That's because Okarin just thought of it on the spot."

"Thank nyu, Kyouma!"



A very sweet aroma tickles my nose. And something very soft...

"Hey, Okarin, you jerk! I made the Microwave Ophone too!"

"Really nya? Then Daru-nyan too!"

Faris flies over to Daru.

"Okarin, Okarin. It's great you could please Faris♪"

"Heheheh... Mayuri, you really are innocent."

"Hweh?"



"...It's me.
...Yeah, I successfully deceived Faris. She's just a 17 year old girl, after all.
Though that catgirl thinks she's bargained with me to appease her lust for mankind's dream, the forbidden fruit that is the time machine...
She doesn't realize that she's dancing on the palm of my, Hououin Kyouma's, hand.
...Hmph, why did I accept the catgirl's conditions, you ask? Isn't that obvious? Basically..."

I warp my lips into a grin. Right now, my shark teeth are probably glistening suspiciously.

...Damn, I wish I had shark teeth.

"That catgirl is a test subject.
...What? Heresy's such a cruel way to put it. But it's not completely wrong. Heheheh..."



Kurisu refuses to become a testee, and Mayuri and Daru are too stupid to be useful. We got experiments done with Moeka and Rukako, but I want to get more data... and now we have this offer. Experimental data and an IBN 5100. I'm getting those from Faris. Two birds with one stone!

I've completely recovered from the shock of losing the IBN 5100.

...Yeah. Basically, Faris intends to use us, but it's actually the opposite. She's like a moth flying into our flame. Fuhahahaha!
...So, we're moving on to the next experiment as planned.
Everything is Steins;Gate's choice.
El Psy Congroo."

After I put away my phone, someone taps me on the shoulder. Right after that, they blow into my ear.

"Mmgh!?"



After servicing Daru, Faris was standing behind me before I noticed her. Seems like she heard everything.

"You're such a slowpoke, Faris NyanNyan. You already took the blood covenant. If you violate the contract, you'll be visited by destruction. You can no longer escape."

"OK nya. So, where is the time machine nya?"

She seems rushed...

"The time machine - accurately speaking, the Microwave Ophone (Temp) - is in our lab."



Basically, remote control. Kurisu's watching over the lab. I guess we'll leave the Microwave Ophone (Temp)'s setup to that assistant of mine.

When I ask Faris what mail address she's going to send to, she answers with her father 10 years ago. I take a memo of that address. The destination is April 3, 2000. It has to be on 8AM that day, so we use a calculator on the net to factor in leap years, resulting in 86168 hours.

"Umm, does that mean it has to keep going for 86,000 seconds? Won't Mr. Microwave Ophone get tired?"

"No, it's not like it actually has to go all those seconds."

We've learned that from previous experiments.

"If you send it once the discharge phenomenon occurs, it reaches the past. Therefore, by the Butterfly Effect, the remaining seconds should cancel."

By the pattern so far, the fact that a D-mail was sent becomes undone, and the D-mail only remains with the recipient. Now, let's call Kurisu.