The Let's Play Archive


by RevBabyKiller

Part 34

Since Torin was such an asshole to poor mutinous Farley, I think I'll help myself to some of his prime lootage. A heist of this caliber is going to require the utmost skill and planning

Rats, foiled. This old bat is just too quick. You can keep your filthy root....for now

At least the Dwarven stonghold has a fubbly bubbly fountain to drain my sorrows in. And also fill my precious giant water sac

Another helpful Dwarfite. Only this guy is suspiciously making loud door-unlocking sounds against a solid brick wall and looking very shifty. Also his confrontational tone is a little off-putting. Time to engage a little used tactic I like to call Professor Drake, and combat my worthless foe with superior wordplay. I'll subtly dance around the issue without making accusations or asking direct questions and snare him in my clever trap

Because if anyone has the right to demand answers as to what someone is doing somewhere here, it's the guy who's been here for five minutes

Now that's not suspiciously intriguing at all. And what kind of adventurer would I be if I didn't spy on anyone I want whenever I want and demand that they tell me everything I want to know

What he's saying may be 100% accurate, but I'll be damned if I'll listen to what some asshole who's pissed because I stormed into his house and started asking questions thinks!

Phew, crisis averted. It's lucky that this chump caved first, because my infinite ammo axe is jonesing for some trauma-to-the-face related action. I guess there's nothing left to do now but walk away and not get sucker axed in the back of the head

Best line of the game yet, and it gets said by a random dwarf who I wasn't even facing at the time. Damnable timing! I'll take my rage out on your diminutive torso Grak!

The on

Witness first-hand the devestation wrought upon his person by the combination an infinite ammo weapon, an orb that speeds up the attack rate, and his direct proximity in front of said weapon. The axe works in such a way that only one can be thrown at a time, so by him being directly in front of me the time lapse between when one is thrown and the next can be thrown is negligible. Also enemies can't attack if they are hit, so this guy couldn't land a hit unless I was the sporting type, which I am certainly not

The blood flows and spurts in majestic patterns. It's almost enough to bring a tear to my eye and a half-mast to my pants

Another example of its potency: Grak is long since dead, but his body can be suspended indefinitely by repeatedly hitting it. This newfound ability to render further indignities onto the corpses of my enemies may prove useful. Take heed, Wahooka, next time you'll be the one doing the funky chicken all the way to the ground

The sort would be the illusion magic that makes someone think what they are seeing is in fact something else, aka every kind of illusion magic.

The wall he was fucking around with turns out to be another ghost wall, but this time I was stuck muttering "Lo, the North Wall is not made of this Earth" to myself because my faithful traveling companion/stater of the obvious isn't here.

Excellent. The first scroll in the hidden alcove is a level three power rune. The next one must be even better!

Wait...hold on a second...something seems a little off here...what the shit would I need with a level 2 rune now that I have a level three? And who thought storing these together would be a good idea? Thanks a lot Grak, I'm already the only human in the area and I'm stuck wandering around alone because all my supposed friends abandoned me, and now you're fucking with me from beyond your shallow, shallow grave? Sometimes it hurts more to be the guy who suffers a slight disappointment than it does to be the guy who got 72 axes in the mouth. Is there no relief for my terrible, terrible loneliness?

Giant molten balls of Khull-Khum, if it isn't my favorite little lad in all of Dwarfendom! It has been too long my oldest and dearest friend (that I haven't yet molested in their sleep)