Part 8: Update Eight: Star Powered Iron Man
Welcome back to Super Mario RPG, goons and goonettes; last time, we made our way through Rose Way, saw that the Koopa Troop is still kicking (somewhat, at least), and were preparing to enter Rose Town. So, let's get this show on the road, shall we?And into Rose Town we go.
Gah! What the fuck is wrong with this town?
I can't move a muscle. Now I know how a scarecrow feels!
Y'know buddy, you might be the most badass guy I've met so far. Taking an arrow to the skull isn't usually something that you can shrug off so easily.
In a nearby house, I think we find the badass' wife. Now, I'm wondering if she knows about the arrows outside.
How long has this been going on? Even though we've only talked to two guys, they seem far too calm for arrows to be falling like rain. Seriously, these arrows continually rain from the sky the entire time you're here. I think we've found Auron's hometown.
Heading east, we find this poor sap. Why would you have the stairs to your house under controls? And not have an emergency ladder? I think we've found the village idiot.
After jumping off his head to get up here, let's go restore this guy's stairs. I hope he didn't mind the shoes bouncing off his skull.
Hrm...Treasure. I'm here to get that guy back home. I'll rob him later.
Oh, there's more treasure? I think I smell our reward.
After hitting the button, let's head back down.
They sure were.
Enter the forest. When you hit an area with 4 paths, go left, left, straight, right-in that order. You'll surely find something NICE.
...Wait, you didn't even find this treasure? You had to walk ten feet to the forest, then walk down four paths? You lazy prick. I should have left you down there.
I like the cut of your jib, kid. Keep up the good work, junior.
The guy's treasure is disappointing, as well. It's just a bunch of Coins. I have close to the max, and I'll hit it before long.
On the west end of town, there's the item shop. While we're talking about how rich I am, let's go spend some of my wealth.
Quit being so creepily calm about what's going on outside.
Mario gets himself a Thick Shirt, while Mallow snags himself a new pair of Thick Pants. Mario's Defense goes up by +6, while his Magic Defense gets a +2 boost. Mallow gets another +6 Defense as well, but gets a +3 boost to his Magic Defense.
After selling my old Shirt, Pants, and the Hammer, let's hit this guy.
I meant that literally. He's not selling anything I want or need.
But, hidden up here, they're holding a Frog Coin hostage.
And they have another hostage chest over here. But I can't jump up there from over here. What am I going to do?
I smell a plan brewing here.
Mario Clause discovers where there's a will, there's a way.
Perfect! I'll never turn one of these down.
This kid took an arrow to the skull and he's just bored? God, when I was a kid, I was distressed when my macaroni and cheese wasn't on time.
This throws another vote in the box for this being the most badass town on the map.
How many villages have two idiots on the premises? Does senility count toward being a dumbass? Jesus, I need a nap.
I certainly hope Mario's getting some of the proceeds from the sales of his action figures.
No, you fool! Jump attacks don't affect Bowser! Unless you dropped the 30 Coins on Jump Shoes!
Holy Christ, kid. I participated in that fight and that sure as hell didn't happen.
Mario's distress is understandable here. Kid thinks he'd lose to Bowser, even after God knows how many victories.
It's almost like Mario's contemplating the best way to kill this kid and where to hide the body.
Oop. Kid realizes he's either close to death or is just starstruck.
Howdy, ma'am. Keep a good eye on your boy tonight.
Jesus, he doesn't even respect the 'stache! What a little shit.
I'll be pulling it off soon enough, boyo.
With a massive leap, we prove to this kid that we're Mario the only way we know how.
Well, I suppose beating you up here and playing it off as an accident would be satisfying enough.
I did originally come here to catch a few Z's, but I can rest easier after beating up your kid. I'm sure you won't mind.
Huh, even his mom neglects him. You think he would have caught on by now.
Yeah, I can do that. Hell, it might even be fun.
Mario actually growls at the kid here. Sure, he's just playing the part, but I like to think he's actually pissed at the kid. What? It amuses me.
Okay, that was unexpectedly rough for a children's game.
Maybe Mario is really trying to ice this kid. He's pretty brutal for a plumber.
...Where did you get that toy, Gaz? Is it a collector's item or something?
Good game, kid...
Hey, look, it's the morning after finals!
I'm not sure what we're looking at here, though.
I'm not sure what this golden light is doing, but choosing the mini-Iron Man isn't a bad choice.
Or else it's bringing it to Valhalla. Those Valkyries get kind of lazy for toys, I guess.
Or else they've realized his potential and are bringing him to life.
My God, he's become a man-sized flashbang.
Aww, he's an excited new form of life!
He's a little unsteady on his feet, though. He stumbles through the Inn here.
Apparently, he has decided to worship the stairs.
But the stairs are a harsh deity.
Even though he just came to life, he's just so .
And away he goes!
...Where do Gaz and his mom sleep?
Ready for a new day, Mario? We have a town to save.
Eh, you're right. We'll get to it later.
Next time, we're explore the forest where all of these arrows are coming from. And just what is that Geno doll doing...?
Bonus Video!
Click me to hear some Toadofsky Tunes!
Thanks to Explosionface for giving me the charts that have exactly what you need to do on 'em. I'm terrible at this music stuff, so props to him.