Part 44: Update Forty Two: Fuck Off If You Want A Hitchhiker's Reference
Welcome back! Last time, on Super Mario RPG, we kicked the asses of two pathetic bosses, beat up a giant snake, and now we're going to get one step closer to Smithy.
That trampoline takes us back and we could work our way through the dungeon again if we wanted to leave.
Before we actually go on to the next area, three people were close enough to a level up that I decided to just get it and then move on.
Mario hit level 28, with a +2 boost to HP!
Toadstool hit level 26, with a +3 boost to Magic Attack!
Mallow also got up to level 28, with a +2 boost to his HP!
Alright, next room is this factory looking area. To the right, we can see some Jabits that have been painted already.
I love it when a villain mentions my accomplishments when I'm not around. To me, it's kind of like a form of respect.
Build him 100 armies, and I will crush them all.
Or just start making weapons for me!
Fat plumber, fat puff ball, fat turtle, wooden doll and a princess. Impressive bunch, aren't we?
Well, that does sound better than the way I said it.
He gives experience, Mallow, so I would have liked to stomp him regardless.
Now, I kind of wanted a line here about how I have a bigger hammer, but I still haven't swapped out my super-equipment. It happens next update. This is all in the name of showing off.
Mad Mallets have 200 HP and precisely jack and shit else going on.
Other than an impressive survival instinct (compared to most other enemies we've fought so far).
I give this guy credit for his enthusiasm.
So, the Clerk here has 500 HP and is boring otherwise. It's not right to call him a mini-boss; he's just a slightly more advanced enemy.
Not much more advanced, mind you. Only slightly.
Fuck off, Mallow, you didn't do anything to help.
Why couldn't we leave him back with his parents?
I don't know, Mallow. But, let's not touch it. Middle of the enemy weapon factory, unknown button, not a good idea, methinks. Plus, it's not big and red, so it can't be a self-destruct button.
Consider yourself lucky, then, Mallow.
Were it my face, you'd be wondering why I looked so pleased.
Good. You deserve what's going to happen next.
I wouldn't do it, Mario. He'll never learn that way.
Quickly, Mario, beat him with a stick still delicious candied treats come out!
Or uppercut him straight in the balls. 
Guess, so, Mallow. Let's move on.
Goddammit, who's interrupting me now?
I can accept you crossing Mushroom Way, Toad. That place isn't that dangerous. This, however, is just bullshit.
Unless you're that Toad who forgot his bazooka, piss off.
Oh, yeah, I forgot she faked her disappearance.
You did, Princess. You were instrumental in my defeat of the Dark Knight of Vanda.
is worthwhile!
Well, I like the cut of your jib, Toad.
Oh, Toad, you're such a good excuse for an end-game resupply.
Toad has some good shit with him, too. Max Mushrooms and Maple Syrups (even though I prefer Royal Syrups) are pretty nice. Though, why the fuck are you charging me, Toad!?
Oh, Toad, you shouldn't have!
For the Rock Candy, at least.
You're alright, Toad. Even if you are charging me for stuff that will help me save the fucking world.
The next room still has a conveyer belt pumping out Jabits.
And further up, we find this scene playing out.
Technically, the harder you work to make weapons, the stronger I become as well.
I am. I'm disappointed that I'll never be able to use any of them.
All of them laugh evilly. Just in case we didn't get it, I guess.
Well, Bowser, I suppose you do have a bigger castle than Mushroom Kingdom. Maybe bigger than Nimbus Land's castle.
Bowser, you're just the Rodney Dangerfield of this world.
: When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
So, the Manager. 800 HP, with 170 Attack. Other than that, bitches ain't shit.
Don't give me that look. It's just another boring-ass mid-boss. The best part comes after the fight anyways.
It's okay, Bowser.
Damn, Bowser. You've given me funny feelings in my heart area.
Just back in the party, Bowser.
Oh, look, our last interruption and fight this update!
Um...Getting their asses kicked by Mario and crew?
I can just imagine the Director here as so smug and coolly calm.
I also like how he just straight up threatens to murder our asses for getting in the way.
Real convincing act there, Toadstool.
So, the Director has 1000 HP, with 190 Attack and 120 Defense. He can be fairly tough, but only because he can hit like a damned truck.
He also cast Vigor Up at this point, too. So now he's 50% tougher than he was before, meaning it'll take me that much longer to beat him down.
Valor Up is a really helpful skill for the enemies.
His hammer comrades will return; the hammers they throw here can inflict Fear.
I seem to be always hitting the timing for getting a Freebie out of Rock Candies, so I'ma use the hell out of these things.
Poundettes turn into Energizers when eaten by Yoshi. Good to know!
Honestly, I could have skipped all three of these fights and you guys wouldn't have missed shit.
Nice rewards, though.
Not really, Toadstool.
Now that's something I can get behind.
Next update, though. For now, we're going to take a break.
Next time, let's beat this game. Stay tuned.