Part 15: Endorph's Romance of the Three Kingdoms Corner #2 - Lu Bu and Diaochan

Needless to say, historically, Lu Bu did not kill Sun Jian and Sun Ce. Lu Bu and Sun Jian fought a few battles, when Sun Jian was trying to defeat Dong Zhou, but Sun Jian crushed him every time. The two of them had no interactions past that point, and Lu Bu never met Sun Ce.

Lu Bu
You probably know the gist of the story: Lu Bu wound up working for Dong Zhou, a corrupt warlord who had basically taken control of the Chinese government by force, Lu Bu betrayed and murdered Dong Zhou, wandered in and out of the services of various people before ultimately being defeated and executed by Cao Cao. There's a lot of interesting details to his life, but it'd be a little hard to go into in a paragraph, so I'll just add a couple of fun historical anecdotes:

1) During his wanderings after killing Dong Zhou, one of Lu Bu's subordinates betrayed him, wanting to turn him over to Cao Cao or Liu Bei in hopes of a reward. The traitor and a few of his followers volunteered for night watch, then just wandered over to Lu Bu's tent as he was about to get his fuck on. Cue naked Lu Bu running screaming through the camp for his troops to wake up and kill the traitors. Actual historical facts here, folks.

2) Cao Cao was considering recruiting Lu Bu instead of executing him. In fiction, he usually decides against it on his own based on his disloyalty to Dong Zhou, but in history it's actually Liu Bei who advised against it for that reason.

Also, since I doubt Dong Zhou is in this game if Lu Bu and Diaochan are supposed to be dead, here's a fun story about him: he wanted to make it so the common people had no choice but to rely on him and support him. So he made an effort to mint his own currency that could only be used in cities and towns he controlled, and offered people large amounts of it if they turned in their actual currency. Yes, the man literally tried to make Bison dollars.

Diaochan

Didn't exist! Or, well, one of the reasons for Lu Bu betraying Dong Zhou was that Lu Bu would often seduce Dong Zhou's servant girls. Dong Zhou never found out about it, but Lu Bu was always worried he would, so he already had reasons to be paranoid of his boss.

In fiction, Diaochan is the daughter of a government official who is sent to seduce both Dong Zhou and Lu Bu in order to drive a wedge between them, and then Lu Bu gets his assassination on. From there, what happens differs from story to story. In some stories, she legitimately falls in love with Lu Bu and follows him for the rest of his life, until being executed with him by Cao Cao. In other stories, she runs away after Dong Zhou dies before being found by Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei - one version of that story has them leading her to a small village where she can live the rest of her life in peace, another version of that story has Zhang Fei and Liu Bei arguing over who deserves to marry her until Guan Yu just kills her. Yeah, that one's a bit fucked.