Part 4
I am the judge and everyone else gets the death penalty.
... Scuba? Who in their right mind names their child Scuba?!
I mean... Scuba. Seriously. SCUBA. SCUBA! Too bad he didn't bring his parents along.
This is important to the plot but who cares when it's being told by fucking SCUBA
Oh good, the other one's retarded.
All right, let's meet our first victims.
"The sounds of magic". Great. He's not just retarded, he's autistic.
HIS NAME IS SCUBA
I head out to the teleporter to tell Scuba just how monumentally stupid his name is.
Forrest Gump here gets in the way.
YES SCUBA I AM THE GHOST OF SILLY NAMES AND I HAVE COME FOR YOUR SOUUUUL
Scuba explodes in a cloud of blood before I even get the chance to capture him. Fuckin' pansy.
Hey Forrest, look over there!
I was always good at claw games.
Jin kept a tiara on him.
This must be the guy Retard and Stupid Name mentioned earlier.
I get to kill me a commander!
Why, yes I do. Now please excuse me, I have to get these clothes in the wash before the blood stains it.
Jin? Oh, right, the retard. He's... He's around.
Follow me, and I'll show you.
You're the one who wanted to know what happened to Jin.
Hooray! Leveling up reduces the damage you take from invaders and unlocks new traps.
And now I have some kind of tropical goblins in my house.
Mr. Talkative unlocks a door for me. How kind.
Just a couple of scrubs. Unfortunately, their high wisdom and evade means they can avoid traps fairly easily.
I like the quiet one.
Aha ha ha. Ha. Ha. Get it? Because he doesn't talk. How funny.
Yeah, pretty much.
From goblin pirates to a ninja.
Ninjas are fast little fuckers who can spot traps and teleport around the room.
Finally, their boss comes in.
If all the soldiers and mercenaries I hired to go to a house never came back, I'd make it a point to not go there to see what happened. I'm just weird like that.
That's a lot of agility for a fat man.
Well, okay I'll spare you in that ca-
Before he can attack, I ask him what he has to sell.
After complaining that he was overcharging, Henry starts throwing pots and pans at me. You heard me right.
With that Wile E. Coyote moment, the chapter ends.