Part 22: Episode 21: It’s a Nice Day for a White Wedding

So we now know that the real princess has been swapped, is probably in desperate danger, and the fake princess could get a moon relic at any moment. With that in mind....


On the way back Lynn pops out to talk to us in the Barrens.

Meru: "Hey! We'll be in Donau soon! Go home quick to her, you handsome man! Kate's worrying!"

Lynn: "Dart, I cannot thank you enough. But I have to say it, thank you. Now Donau is saved."

Dart: "It's just the beginning.”


Meru: "Finally. That Mayor is taking action."

Dart: "Thank you for your guidance, Meru."

Meru: "What are you talking about? It's not over yet."

Dart: "What?"

Meru: "Dart's journey won't be easy. What you guys do is not normal. Monsters like Virage appear, Dragoons, Gigantos. I thought they only existed in fairy tales. I can't explain it, but I think there'll be a lot of things I can help you with. So, why don't we go to Fletz now? We can't procrastinate like this, right!?"

Dart: "It'll continue to be like a traveling three-ring circus."

Meru: "All right!!"

Lynn: "I'm going."

Dart: "Say hello to Kate."

Lynn: "Please come to our wedding! I'm having it tomorrow if it's possible. Bon voyage!!"

A wedding, eh? Well, we’ve got time to kill. No rush or anything right? But Kongol, poor Kongol. He has nothing to wear. He knows he needs something a little classier if he’s going to make it. I think we can help him. Though a quick trip to Commercial City Lohan is probably in order. I’m sure they can cobble together some sort of Giganto suit for us.


Street Vendor: “Hey, didn’t we talk the other day! Come on, I’ve got great stuff! Why don’t you take a look!?”

Oh hey. If it isn’t the guy we scammed out of a free water bottle. Looks like no hard feelings. Or considering his intelligence he forgot the details of the transaction.


Street Vendor: “A great bargain! How about 100g!?”

A stone? I don't need no stupid rock. I need a sweet suit for my bro Kongol.

Dart: “I cannot believe it!!”


Kongol takes a step up too look at this stone. I’m sure it can’t be that exciting. Dart has just never seen a scam rock before. The vendor wisely doesn’t try to stop Kongol from grabbing the stone.


Wait what? We just stumbled on a god damn dragon stone in a shop? The same shop that sells overpriced water bottles?

Rose: “It’s too much of a coincidence.”

You’re damn right it is.


Street Vendor: “Any illness, or anxiety disappears instantly when the stone shines!! A miracle!! A mystery!! I’m making a limited offer now for 1000g!! How about that!?”

Son of a bitch!


Rose goes to grab her sword but Dart stops her. She’s apparently not above murdering a shop keep, or at least extorting him in the name of a dragon stone. Scaaaary woman.

Dart: “It’s business. That’s life. Okay, I’ll take it.”

Street Vendor: “Yeah! Thanks! Now you’ll have good luck!!”


You better appreciate that you big bastard. Do you know how many lizards and random creatures died for that stone?

Well, now that we got Kongol a proper outfit we can head back to Donau to check in on this wedding. Lord knows we could use a little good news in our lives.


Villager: “Oh? You are the folks that Lynn invited? I see. Perfect timing. They are in the middle of the ceremony”


I guess bandits killed the rest of their family or something? Six wedding guests is probably less than you’d get at the county courthouse.


Damn it Kongol. I just got you fancy new digs and you don’t even show up to the wedding. Come to think of it, where the hell is Albert and Rose. I can see Rose choosing to grab a drink instead of watching an idiot get married. But I really can’t see Albert dodging out.

Villager: “It’s time for the couple to come out. Look! She is throwing the bouquet!”


Quick time event out of nowhere! Ok, not really. But we do get a good ol’ ! in a yellow box as she throws the bouquet. Dart pushes Shana back a few feet and she manages to catch the flowers.

Well, for all his complete lack of showing it apparently our boy Dart does want to get hitched! Either that or else he had a brief bout of insanity.

Shana: “Thank you.”


+1 to our stack of useless key items. You can actually miss this, but it really has no importance what so ever. I guess to keep with Dart’s roll of being a dick I should have made her miss.


Dart: “We just went to get something important back. It is due to you and your people’s effort to bring the city back to normal.”

Mayor of Donau: “No. It was you who imparted us the courage to do it. We are wondering if you would like to settle here now that peace has returned.”

The mayor probably doesn’t know that Dart is batting 2/2 for getting his home city razed. I know I wouldn’t want him for a neighbor.

Dart: “Thank you. But have something we have to take care of.”

Mayor: “I understand. It is a shame, but you have to do what you have to do. We don’t know what you have to take care of. But we know that you can complete anything you want. Good luck.”


Lynn: “Good luck!”

Hey! You didn’t tell me this was a shotgun wedding. I’m taking the wedding gift back you shameless hussy! Albert must have known the truth. That’s why he didn’t show up for the reception. Now I’m angry. I’m going to go pick up some more swag to calm myself.





Wargod’s Sash is a damn handy item. It’s an accessory that adds 50% more SP when we do additions. Pretty damn handy to have around either for quick transforms in boss battles or just when we are grinding up Dragoon levels.

Now let’s talk about our good buddy Kongol we just picked up. For one he’s a god damn physical truck. Right when we pick up him he has more HP, attack, and defense than anyone else in our party. Later on he’s going to have fucking piles of HP.

Unfortunately he is slow as fucking molasses. 30 Speed. Even Albert has 40. He basically has Bandit Ring as a requirement of use in battle. MUCH later on, as in disc 4, we’ll be able to pick up Bandit’s Shoes for another 20 speed. At 70 speed I suspect he might be pretty scary.

He also has abysmal magic defense. He’ll easily take double magic damage compared to basically anyone but Albert. At least for now he doesn’t have double the HP, so we just don’t want to use him in some fights, including the boss fight next update. I’ll try to swap him in for some of the more physical ones though.

Bonus! Kongol’s first addition, dragoon transformation, d-atk, and magic. Of note is that all Kongol’s attack our all target. Seriously though, you don’t use Kongol for magic. I guess you might get a fluke circumstance vs a pile of wind enemies, but I’d rather just use an attack item.


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So, just a small update today. But this page is getting outrageous on images. No more updates til we roll this shit over!