Part 31: Episode 30: Bark At the Moon

Well, it’s safe to say after our last update a giant ravenous wolf awaits our near future. Possibly dead children or knucklehead warriors. Hopefully the latter, especially that axe jerk Bulgus.


Welcome to Evergreen Forest! It’s a pretty straightforward area with pretty much nothing to do but get in a boss fight and pick up some eeeh items. If we head right we can pick up a Destone Amulet. The game keeps up with tossing us anti-status effect amulets right before we could need them. Once again, I continue to not use them in the name of murdering faster


Most of these creatures are huge jerks if they feel like it, especially these pesky Dark Elves. They can hit your party with petrification. Pretty par for the course in RPG. Your character hit with it just stands around doing absolutely nothing! Hooray! Also Body Purifiers don’t fix it. You have to get a special Depetrifier item to clear it. Or if you were lucky and your whole party had full SP bars you can drop a special which will transform and cure your afflicted party member. Usually the Elves vomit petrify at me like there is no tomorrow but this time they chose not to use it even once. Weird, but I’m not complaining.

Also hanging with these Dark Elves are some flying rats. They fly around and hit you.


Keeping up the theme of obnoxious status effects, here we have the forest runner. A very colorful bird that can charm your party members. Also they always seem to choose Kongol which ends painfully when it manages to hit.


We also have wounded bears which have a lot of HP and hit like trucks. Also they can howl at you and inflict fear. God damn. Colbert was right about the bears.

To the left of the first screen we have a nice save point and to the left of THAT a body purifier. Oh boy. Up and to the right of the save point though we run into our missing neighborhood boy. Child status: Not eaten by wolves.

Bulgus status: ???


Dart: "He, Hey!"

Teo’s all “Stranger danger!” and jumps of the top of the hill and runs towards some trees.

Hunter: "He, Help!!"

From off screen one of the hunters yells for help.


Oh fuck!

Dart: "This is Kamuy!?"


Oh good. It’s only an incredibly large wolf. Not a monstrously large wolf. Kongol is still too big to ride it.

Resident Knight Harris: "Everybody surround it!! Finally I found it!"

Bulgus: "I'll get him and I'll get the five times larger prize!! Let me kill it!!"

Bulgus stauts: Not eaten by wolves

Voice: "Stop it!!"

Resident Knight Harris: "Teo!! You are all right!!"


Well that explains Fa’s reaction to us wanting to viciously murder her best friend’s pet.

Resident Knight Harris: "Teo!! Leave Kamuy!!"

Teo: "No way!! Cuz Kamuy protected Fa! So I'll protect Kamuy this time!! Please!! Don't kill Kamuy!!"

Resident Knight Harris: "Teo! It's no longer the Kamuy you knew! Many other people were attacked by it! Guys! Let's grab Teo first!"

Teo: "Stop it!!"


Kamuy is not about to let some jerk ass Knight steal his child. He flips Teo on his back before running around the hill knocking hunters off screen.

Hunter: "Gwaah!"

Hunter: "Whoa!!"

Bulgus: "Yaaa!!"

Resident Knight Harris: "Teo!! Pursue them!!


All the warriors that haven’t been given concussions and back injuries chase off after Kamuy and Teo so they can probably get their asses handed to them.

Shana: "The wolf called Kamuy. They say it used to be Teo's. I wonder why it became savage?"

Dart: "I don't know. The only thing we know is that the wolf is a menace in the forest now.

Funnily enough we can leave the forest know and just let all these people screw off. For once, we don’t need to defeat the monster! If you really want you can just never come back and take care of this. But that isn’t our style. Mainly because we want that sweet five times reward. After doing his part to stimulate the economy Dart’s wallet is feeling pretty light.


So we head off to the left and north. If we head south right now we’ll go to Deningrad and Rose and Meru will ditch our party for a bit. But since Meru is one of our winners, we don’t want that to happen!


The game gives us one more chance to leave these jerks to their own devices. But we need us a wolf pelt to keep warm in those mountains we can see in the distance.

Teo: "!! Go home! Kamuy's not bad! Go home!"

Shana: "We met Fa. Fa is worried about you."

Teo: "Fa is...?"

Dart: "It's true. Fa doesn't talk anymore since you disappeared, Teo. It is because she really cares about you."

Teo: "Fa cares that much about me?"

Shana: "Fa needs you."


Voice: "That's right!!"



Bulgus: "You pretended to not be interested! But you came back for the prize, right! But I won't let you! I'll finish the beast!"

Sadly Bulgus was not one of those grievously injured in Kamuy and Teo’s escape.

Resident Knight Harris: "Teo! Come here! It's too late for Kamuy!"

Teo: "Don't come here!"


...his not grievously injured status does not last long.

Bulgus: "He, Help!!"

Shana: "Dart! We have to let Kamuy, stop!"


Bulgus: "Arrrghhh!"

And then Kamuy throws Bulgus off screen never to be seen again!

Bulgus status: Crippled in a ditch, hopefully bleeding to death.

Teo: "Stoooop it!!"


Click To Watch, contains dragoon Meru

First disc 3 boss fight goooo! Kamuy only has 3000 HP or so but he’s quite a bit scarier than that would seem after we took out a team that combined to be almost 3x that last disc. Also unusually he is non-elemental which we haven’t had a lot of so far.


He starts off the fight by gently nuzzling Dart’s balls with his razor sharp teeth for 240 damage. Dart seems pretty chill about this.


Kongol however will not stand this assault on his friend’s manhood and transforms into a dragoon to show this cur what is up.


He comes flying through the sky with the greatest of ease. Or at least the greatest ease an 9’ giganto can muster. Which is similar to that of a wrecking ball with similar results when he clobbers the wolf for 500+ damage.


Meru, jealous of all everyone else having their Dragoon Spirits way longer than her decides to bust it out and get in on the pounding.


Jesus that hammer head is bigger than her entire upper body.


Being the magical lass she is she starts conjuring up shards of ice around her.


Launches them at the unfortunate wolf.


Then explodes them all for 330 damage. Damn it, Kongol. I spent all that time badmouthing you on disc 2 and now you are outdamaging one of my best mages! Dart just spends his first turn dropping a Speed Up on Kongol so he can keep on punching for ⅙ of the bosses health.


Kamuy decides to see how blue dragoon tastes and takes a chunk out of Meru for 165 damage. Which is a testament to how much defense boost you get out of being a dragoon. She takes well over 300 when he repeats that same move on her fleshy, dancer clothes clad form later.


She slams a fifty pound hammer into his head for vengeance.


And then gets to use Hammer Spin for the first time on camera! After completing it she falls over on the ground.


Then stands up scratching her head like “oh hey woops”


Kamuy is tired of how one sided this fight is going so far. ANIME GLOW EYES. Shit is about to get real.


He lets out an earth shattering howl which releases some sweet blur effects on the screen.


The party is absolutely stunned at the power of the PS1 graphics and collapse to the ground to be useless while Kamuy feasts on their still living flesh.


Meru and Dart hop up fairly quickly, though not before Meru gets hit for 600 damage out of two of the bite attacks. That’s with two bouts of healing from her Therapy Ring! Thank god for that. She just defends for now in case Kamuy tries his stun attack again. If she used a heal item then got stunned he could easily kill her.


Immediately the white wolf decides to show off his other big attack. This involves just as much howling.


But far more balls of glowing light. Dart eats it for 260, Meru takes 88 despite blocking, and Kongol who is in the midst of fight long nap manages to not get hit thanks to his sweet helmet.

At this point Kamuy mainly goes into magic spam mode while Dart and Meru whittle away on his health, occasionally dropping a healing breeze.


Kongol awakens. Groggy. Confused. Angry. He takes out his wrath on the first thing he sees and finishes off the wolf after literally staying stunned for half the battle. This is the longest I have ever seen a character get stunned. I never bothered dropping a body purifier on him because, SURELY he’s going to wake up this round yep, I can just keep attacking with the other two!

Despite being out cold though he manages to take zero damage the entire boss fight. Best I can figure is the AI went “Holy shit those defense stats, I’ll just go and eat this guy wearing armor instead”


Ooooh yeah. As a reward for the fight Dart picks up my first level five dragoon magic. We also get a Darkness Stone which helps the wearer resist Darkness damage.

Teo: "Kamuy! Don't die!!"


Shana: "But, I cannot leave this like that. White Silver Dragon.... Please save...Kamuy!!"


Teo: "Kamuy?"

The power of the white silver dragon glows around the injured wolf.

Resident Knight Harris: "Kamuy is becoming himself again."

Teo: "Kamuy!!"


And in the place of the horrifying beast is a cute little wolf cub! Apparently the powers of the white dragoon includes the ultimate aging cure. She could make a bundle selling that. Fuck this adventuring noise!

Shana: "I'm glad."

Albert: "The White Silver Dragon healed the savage soul that changed Kamuy."

Dart: "Teo. Go back to Fa and show her you are fine. Kamuy can go back with him can't he?"


While the adults talk Kamuy and Teo chase each other in circles in the back ground.

Resident Knight Harris: "Hmm, it seems he's not going to harm people anymore. Fine. If anything happens, I'll take responsibility. It will be the best for Teo and Fa. Teo, let's go home! Everybody's worried about you!"


Well we are continuing this feel good string that started last disc. Other than all the permanently crippled hunters and everyone else previously injured by Kamuy. Also whatever monster attacked Fa. And well, ok fine. Maybe it isn't all sun shine and butterflies.

And now we can safely head to Deningrad. Because I totally forgot to head back to town and get my reward But for reference we pick up 500g which isn’t that bad. Except the part where he’s one of the few bosses not to drop money >=( So they just make you backtrack for your earnings.


As the group head towards town Rose pulls back from the group.

Rose: "Please go ahead. I remember I have some important errand to do."

Dart: "Hey, wait!"


Rose is incapable of doing things in lame, normal people ways so slides down the cliff before leaping to the other side where we snagged the Body Purifier earlier.

Rose: "I'll catch up with you soon. Look for Lloyd in the meantime."

Haschel: "She is mysterious, as always."


While the party watches Rose run off Meru starts “sneakily” backing away from the party.

Shana: "Meru?"

Meru: "Hee hee.... I now remember I have an errand too."

Dart: "You're not going to tell us the reason either, Meru?"


Meru runs around like a total spaz waving her arms around just so she can tell them she’s seeing her parents. Shockingly, she is not lying.

Haschel: "That's all? You should've said so. I will miss you, Meru."

Meru: "I'll be back soon! See ya!"

Dart: "It's typical of Meru. Let's move on."


And so the party finally finds themselves in Deningrad, although down two people.