Part 49: Episode 48: In an Octopuses Garden

So long before loss of power, internet, and video cards we had hooked up with Savan, our resident Wingly stalker who wanted to borrow a cup of courage to make a bomb out of pure hallucinogenics. We better see how that went.


Savan: "The new magic will be born! Give me your hands! Give me your hands to save the world!"

Dart: "This is the Psychedelic Bomb?"

Savan: "Oh...my god!! It is exceeding the limit!!"

Oh god we were too awesome. Man was not meant to harness such pure, uncontrolled bad assery. It was probably Rose who put it over the top.

Dart: "Did I fail!?"

Savan: "Don't worry! It's not a bad thing! Your courage was too strong!!”

Still...not the most reassuring of phrasing, Savan.

Savan: "My ultimate magic is now completed."


Ruff: "It was rough, ruff."

Phewy: "Our efforts will pay off, phew. Magic power as strong as the Signet Spheres is gathered in Moot, phew."

Savan: "It seems we made it in time."

Dart: "Does this mean we can stop my father's plan?"

Ruff: "As long as Zieg doesn't destroy Moot, ruff."

Phewy: "It's okay, phew. The strongest of all magic creatures, Last Kraken is guarding it phew."

Savan: "Let's activate Moot at once. We will put a new seal on the Moon That Never Sets."


Awwww yeah. We have pretty much just won every random encounter for the rest of the game with a single item if we so desired. The Psychadelic Bomb X is ludicrously powerful, hits every opponent, and is usable once a battle. It pretty much is on par with most of the level 5 Dragoon magic. However, if we fuck up any of the questions during the test we only get the Psychadelic Bomb which is only usable once.


Yeah. It kind of does a bit of damage.


From here to the end of the area is pretty much a straight shot. But in case we suffer a stroke and get lost Savan hovers by each teleporter we need to take until we get close to him and he teleports to the next one.


Wingly areas continue to have some fantastic art direction. Just a neat area.

Savan: "Let me show it. This is the Signet Sphere that has continued to seal the Moon That Never Sets, the flesh of the God of Destruction, the evil fruit that is settled in the sky....”


Savan: “And this is Last Kraken. A magic creature that was born to guard the Signet Sphere. But we have you. It may not be needed."

Lulu: "And Moot will start working."

Dart: "That red light is Moot, the new Signet."


A new Signet AND a sweet magical Kraken to guard it? We are rolling easy. Nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong here. Nope, game over time to go out for drinks.

Savan: "Yes. When Moot is activated and the new Signet covers the Moon That Never Sets, the ambitions of that man will be terminated. What is going on!?"


Oh god the dreaded screen shake. Then from out of nowhere we get a text box of Zieg’s.

Zieg: "That was a poor introduction of me."

Rose: "The voice. It's you Zieg!"

Dart: "Dad! Where are you!?"

Zieg: "In front of you."

Savan: "Don't tell me, it's been manipulated!? It cannot be!"

No one saw this coming I assure you.


Rose: "Yes it is. It is controlling the heart of Last Kraken! Zieg! Are you saying the 10,000 years of rest brought you magic power!?"

Zieg: "Yes. Isn't it an astonishing evolution? Eventually, I will go beyond everything."

Really, you would think she got the hint when he was floating around without being in a Dragoon form, hovering Shana around the room. That sort of thing. Though this is a BIT more impressive.

Dart: "Father, tell me! Why do you need to annihilate the world!?"

Zieg: "Because it is the intention of the Creator Soa. And now, it is my intention as well. Dart, are you not only pointing a sword against your own father, but also, pointing a sword against Soa, who created you? And Savan, don't you think it is a waste to stop the birth of a god by disobeying the intention of Soa? You are all silly. It seems the Moon Mirror that Lloyd struggled to get was not necessary. Go, Last Kraken! Destroy the Signet Sphere along with this city!!"




Click For Bossfight (Youtube is slow as balls and may still be processing, worth checking back later for sweet dragoon magic)

Boss fight! Last Kraken is really not too much to write home about. It’s kind of like the Lenus Dragoon fight except without a Dragoon, you know, the scary part. It’s not particularly fast and doesn’t hit particularly hard. Also Dart is going to hit it like a truck.

So to make up for this and in matching the theme of Aglis Magic City, we will bust some fucking magic out.

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We start off with the good ol’ fashioned strength up/speed up on Dart.


It only took me three playthroughs but I can finally do Dragoon additions perfect with some semblance of consistency! Dart opens up a can for about 1000 damage. The Kraken has about 10,000 total. Good luck, my briny brethren.


In the grand tradition of boss fights in this game Last Kraken pops open a cannon on its head and shoots Rose for 500 damage. A quarter of her healthy, but eh, whatever!


Dart continues to wail away, with Dragoon hits. You’ve probably heard this about 20 times by now. Probably among the big weak points of Legend of Dragoon. There is just not that much variety of what you can do in battle. At this point Dart effectively has two magics: Final Burst for single target and Red Eye Dragon for groups. So most of the time he has a choice of Attack, Addition, or which magic.


Hashcel gets his groove on and fails to fully punch the Kraken. This fight is just full of counter attacks I miss and not pulling off additions right.




Psychadelic Bomb X! It’s better than any other attack item here, but not actually hugely exciting vs most single target bosses unless their HP is crud. I pumped it up to 600+ damage which is better than just about anything else Rose could do. But Dart could do that five times in a row as a dragoon without the strength boost even. Miranda or Meru could squeeze quite a bit more out of it though.


Haschel stops having a senior moment and remembers how to punch.


Strength and Speed Up have wore off, so lets add some flash to this battle! We don’t need any of this high falutin Wingly magic. We got robot magic dragon transformers.




Lands a nice wallop of another 900 damage on the Kraken.


Dart is about to drop out of Dragoon so Rose decides to join in on the flashy magic party.




Oh god, run for the hills! It’s the flying scorpion penis!


The scorpion/dragon/nightmare/thing oozes out another shadow beneath it which zooms forward and under the enemy.


Which then proceeds to get sucked into it like a tarpit


The dragon itself then zooms by leaving a trail of white which explodes for about 640 damage.


Last Kraken wakes up long enough to punch Haschel. Seriously this thing is slooow. I think this is its third or fourth attack and its well under half HP at this point.


Dart officially drops out and Haschel transforms to lay the smack down.


Lightning and thunder strike all around the area until a hole in reality just kind of opens up.


And then gets shredded even further open by, uh, I don’t even know what. There were no lies earlier in the thread when everyone said the dragon designs were fucking weird.




Upon rending reality enough to break in it decides the best way to serve the fight is to use its head a giant cattle prod.


And then explode like a nuclear bomb. Hilariously enough he does 100 more damage than Rose. I think its the Legend Casque to blame.


Dart is forced to return to the classic Swording and stabs the Kraken in the forehead. Kraken is in the red at this point and the fight is largely over.


But not before Haschel unleashes a Kamehameha and Kraken tries one last trick.


He summons in two Cleone’s which are hilariously pitiful.


They have about 1300 HP and do maybe 150 damge on a good day.


The party ignores them completely and Rose joins Dart in the “Let’s Stab Last Kraken in the Head” club to finish him off.


FInishing off the Cleone’s is not exciting in the least, and we are doooone here. Level ups were had by all! Or at least most of the party. And Kraken drops a REALLY weak but double SP hammer for Meru.


Dart: "Why!? We prevented the attack of Last Kraken!"

Savan: "I got it. The field of power generated by the Dragoons triggered the runaway reaction. Sorry, I'll teleport you!"


Savan: "I will see this til the end. You should hurry to the next city, the Signet Sphere of Aglis is now being destroyed."

Team Dragoon is really not shining on the victories against the big bad here. Lost all the artifacts, already wrecked the first signet, powerful ally going to get nuked in an explosion caused by us.

Dart: "Are you starting it alone? And ending it alone too!!"

Savan: "Even if my body vanishes, my heart will remain. It will give you wings to fly the sky, to the Moon That Never Sets, where Zieg is heading."

Rose: "I still have something to ask you!"

Savan: "Rose, I am grateful. Rose, you...were...my...."


I will always remember you as my fondest stalker, Savan.

Rose: "We have no time for being sad."

Cold. As. Ice. But I may allow it. Savan only teleported us like 10 feet so we need to backtrack through this whole god damn dungeon.


Buckle: "Miranda, you are still annoying, uck. Are other people safe, uck?"

I still love these little artificial guys though, especially Buckle.

Miranda: "Don't say anything."

Buckle: "Savan died. Buckle and other creatures cannot live without Savan, uck."

Miranda: "Can't we do something for you? Can't you be saved with the Dragoon's power!? Answer me!!"

Buckle: "Be quiet, uck. Good night, uck."


Buckle: "We can meet again soon, uck. Closing...my eyes...and soon, uck..."

And then poor Buckle is no more. I’m sure this is really helping the mood of the party.


There is some good news though. Dart finally gets his final Addition. We will have vengeance and it will involve lots of stabbing.


Spino: "But, before that, you must...see, pino."


And then he just spikes that shit into the ground. Who needs magical artifacts.

Rose: "The Moon Mirror is broken!?"

Spino: "Because the Signet Sphere of Aglis was destroyed. He doesn't need it anymore, pino. Zieg is in the Law City Zenebatos, pino. Go hurry, pino.

Dart: "But how can we go?"

Decal: "We connected the teleport device, cal. Please keep rolling for Decal, cal."


Ruff: “Ruff has been here forever, ruff. Ruff only knows views...and sound in here, ruff. Ruff wanted to go outside at least once, ruff”

Rose: “Don’t worry. Now you can go out.”

Once in a while Rose can let her heart out of the iron box she has wrapped around it.

Ruff: “Okay, ruff. It’s rought, ruff.”


Dart: “So their death won’t be in vain, we have to move on.”

Meru: “That’s true. These babies completed their own duty. We have to as well.




Rose: "This can take us to Zenebatos instantly. It's completely different."

Albert: "Winglies had such astonishing magic power, moving between cities instantly like this."

Haschel: "It's astonishing all right, but I cannot accept life being generated by magic."

Miranda: "Me neither. It's too depressing to be born just to do one thing."

Dart: "The Virage Embryo, the God of Destruction, was born for destruction only. Its existence might have the same sorrow."

Rose: "Then let's try to make it feel better.”


There is a pretty long and kind of funny pause between “Then let’s make it feel better" and this. Also Sony is clearly pro-abortion.

Rose: “We gotta protect the next Signet Sphere."

Dart: "Let's go to the Law City Zenebatos."



Next time: The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.