Part 58: Episode 57: Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Well, only about half of our party has tripped balls and gone on a spirit journey so far, so it’s probably safe to say we have another few to get through.



Haschel: "Hmm, maybe it's better to wait for them somewhere rather than just blindly look around."

Meru: "Then, let's wait here. This town is the only place there are lots of people."

Albert: "It seems that is the right thing to do."

I’m pretty sure they just want to hang around and get hammered in the bar while they wait for the world to end. I’m sure Dart and Rose can handle things.

Speaking of!


Dart is just chillaxing on a rock in something that kind of feels like the Mountain of Mortal Dragon. But with more toxic fumes. Legend of Dragoon characters spend way more time leaning or sitting on things than most RPG characters it seems.

Dart: "Why did your Vassal Dragon attack us, Rose? Was it to bring the two of us here, the place filled with Dragons?"

Rose: "I think.... We will find out. Soon. Let's go. Either to destroy the Virage Embryo..."


Dart: "Rose...."

Rose: "Don't be so shocked. I trust everybody, too."


It’s kind of weird. For exactly this screen Rose follows us around instead of just fusing into the Singularity of Dart where the party is usually stored.



Rose: "This is a baby dragon. It was called a Pseudo Dragon. It seems everything, including the future and past, exist here.”


We should totally smuggle out a flock of these pseudo dragons. I’m sure they’ll still exist once we kill god or whatever the shit we are up to.

Rose: “My favorite Pseudo Dragon didn't make it to the present age. But I am encountering the past now. But, we don't have time to be sentimental. Let's go."


One of them is a pretty long loop on an otherwise useless path, but we have a Night Raid and Burning Wave. I think we have precisely 0 water enemies left in the game, and 1 light enemy but he’s a plot battle so really doesn’t count.


Rose: "Dart, can you wait a little? He is calling me over there."

Dart: "Okay."

This is our exit out but we can’t go yet cause Rose has too much baggage with her companion of 10,000 years. PFFF.


Most of the enemies here are boring reskins, but holy shit the Triceratops. These guys are pretty fucking stout as far as random enemies go. There is only one more dangerous one than this I’d say. They also give out 2000 freaking XP. All our solo “boss” fights have been giving out 6000.


Rose: "I knew it. I know this place. It's where I met Michael for the first
time."


Once again we have a flashback during sort of time travel while in a moon that is actually the body of a god. Got it straight?

Rose: "Darkness Dragon.... Sorry. We don't have time.”


Rose: “Winglies are mighty. Mighty enough to annihilate us, and the entire species. In order to liberate Humans, we have to sacrifice you, Dragon."





That was...surprising uninformative about how the Dragon Stones really come about. I assume Rose and Zieg murdered the shit out of the poor guy like we did to the Divine Dragon and then ???


As the black mist fades away a Black Dragon baby is left. Apparently the Dragon they killed was totally down with Rose killing it. And asexually reproduced a baby before dying? I got nothin’

Zieg: "The Dragoon Spirit left by the Darkness Dragon, and this newborn dragon will be the spearhead of the war."

Rose: "This baby needs a name.”


Well, the full name isn’t nearly as bad. Black Burst Dragon is pretty cool. But still, Michael.

Rose: “How about Michael?”

Zieg: "Rose's Vassal Dragon, the Darkness Dragoon, the Black Burst Dragon, Michael. It's a good name. So now we can go."

Rose: "Yes. The real war has not started yet."


Back in the present(?)

Rose: "Michael! Don't you recognize me!?"

The mummy or whatever the hell that is of Michael starts shaking and you know what time it is!


Gimmick Fight!


Our buddy Mike opens up by shooting a black mist at us.


Which then proceeds to explode. I’d have to try REALLY hard this fight to get Rose killed off. She’s immune to his magic thanks to the Black DG Armor and only takes middling damage from his physicals. Dart takes about 400 which he can more than handle. What with being at 5200 max life.


Michael shows how much he loves his mistress by launching her into a wall.


And now for our fun gimmick! Michael is 100% immune to damage. There are two things we can do to him: jack and shit.


Rose: "Michael! It's me, Rose! Don't you recognize me!?"

Dart: "It seems not to be working."

Rose: "It's out of control, just like last time. He forgot the pride of the Dragon and turned himself into a mere raving beast."


Yes...Wilder than Feyrbrand. Not the crazy divine dragon that wrecked Deningrad just cause it woke up grumpy.


Really all you need to do is defend for about 15 minutes(only mildly exaggerating), but I get bored and spend most of it just additioning in to him.


And now Michael’s fun super attack. He grabs Rose and Dart and drags them into the sky.


Launches them in a nice ballistic trajectory.


A few beams of pure darkness just to warm things up.


Then of course because this is Legend of Dragoon he has to bust out his cannon.


You know, that thing that was one shotting Virages in the flashback on Disc 2.


It’s not a very pleasant looking experience.


Dart takes about 1200 damage from it, Rose takes none because its black magic. Never mind the 500 foot fall to the ground.


Rose: "The Darkness Dragon is the strongest Dragon of all, having the best attack and defense, along with having the best agility."

So wait. The Divine Dragon, the KING of all Dragons, is not actually the best dragon? Sucks to be him! It’s just really funny the Divine Dragon was locked up because they couldn’t deal with it, but presumably there were several Darkness Dragons just running around wrecking shit.

Dart: "I don't need to hear about it! Is there anyway to defeat him!?"


I’m still incapable of doing damage. Michael strafes us a few more times.


Rose: "attack by the enemy."

Dart: "What should we do!?"

Rose: "There is only one blind spot."


She’s STILL not quite ready to tell us though.


Freaking finally, Rose. For some reason one of the options isn’t highlighted, but this is our choice time. This time the bad choice isn’t interesting at all, so on with the good.

Rose: "After he shoots the black laser, his defense falls a second, showing his heart. That's his only weak spot."

Huzzah! But now the fun part. We can’t do it until he uses his special.


Up to this point he’s been pretty much spamming its special attack at me. Of course, now that I know the weakness it takes literally four minutes until he uses it again. It’s easily the most obnoxious of this series of fights just for that reason. At least the other ones you FEEL like you are doing something even if it is a conversation based fight.


Finally we get a shot at its core. Which is hilariously weak.


Rose runs in for about 1200 damage and immediately puts it in the red. Dart follows up with a Blazing Dynamo for 1800. I’m pretty sure he could have one shotted it.




Rose: "After many fights, it becomes savage, and starts to blindly attack people and in the end, it won't listen to the orders of Dragoons either. That's why I killed Michael!!"


Dart: "That's enough of looking back at the past. You have lived for 10,000 years because you didn't want to see the future to be destroyed, right, Rose?"

Rose: "You are right. Thank you. You reminded me of what's important."

Dart: "Let's look for Albert and the others. Then we have to head to the core of the moon."

So to add to our pile of valuable life lessons: Sometimes you just have to murder your best friend.


After a quick backtrack we are off to the Bale Inn of 20 years ago.

Meru: "Dart!! Rose!!"

Albert: "We were right about waiting here."

Dart: "All of you look...all right."

Albert: "Of course. We cannot fall until we complete our mission. Now, before we leave, let's exchange information."


Albert: "It wasn't the cruel uncle we've known."

Dart: "But it's that Doel who killed King Carlo."

Rose: "I think we will find out what the moon wants to show us when we meet Doel. Besides, I think we have to see it in order to proceed, given the facts thus far."

Dart: "That's right. Let's go out on the town now."


And back outside we go. This time we can actually get through the guards.

Gate Keeper of Serdio: "I have been waiting for you."

Albert: "Waiting for me?"

Gate Keeper of Serdio: "Please go ahead."


And into Doel’s bitching rad Fortress of Evil Interiors

Albert: "Let me go alone from here."


Albert’s journey into the collective unconscious is the easiest. Also befitting Albert, it’s incredibly freaking wordy.

Albert: "You 'have been waiting'. Then it's simple. You must know the reason why I'm here."

Doel: "You are here to find out the truth about whether I assassinated your father, my brother, and the reason. I would say...it was to save Serdio from an incompetent leader named Carlo."

Albert: "My father was not incompetent! He was loved by his people and admired by his vassals!"


Doel: "What was brought on the people by overtaxation and disorder!? What can ministers soaked in corruption do!? You have been given false truths, so how could you know!?"

Albert: "Even if...it was the truth, you shouldn't have killed him!"

Note the most razor sharp come back from our kingly buddy.

Doel: "I guess you won't be satisfied with words. Defeat me to find out the rest!!"




This fight is a total and utter joke. His gimmick is that Doel himself can’t take damage yet. First we have to attack each sword to break them.


While we COULD waste a few attacks. I have a better idea.


God bless you Psychadelic Bomb. This will take out both blades simultaneously.


Doel holds up the first blade while it glows.


And then it shatters into pieces across the ground.

Albert: "Uncle Doel! Why did you eliminate my father!!"


Doel: “as the true leader!!"

Albert: "It is not true!! What people desire is not power. It's peace."

Doel: "Who do you think brought peace!? Who do you think brought order and hope back to Serdio!? Peace cannot be maintained without power!"



Albert: "Uncle, you oppressed people with your power. How much value can we give to such a transient peace. What people need is...."

Doel: "I don't need to hear about things like justice or love!"

Doel knows where that speech is going and cuts him right the hell off.


Immediately after their conversation sword number two explodes.

Albert: "Power alone does not solve anything!"

Doel: "The ideals and reality are different!!"

Albert: "Wake up, uncle!!"

Doel: "You are so persistent!!"


Doel and I have very different ideas of helpless. Albert is both a solid ruler of his country and more powerful than basically anyone on the planet outside of our party and the upcoming bosses.

Albert: "You wouldn't understand this, uncle. You have had faith only in your own power."

Doel: "What did you say!?"

Albert: "I'm different from you and I am not alone. My friends have always been at my side during the many occasions when I was dispirited. I've overcome difficulties."

It’s not a JRPG without a speech on the ~power of friendship~

Doel: "Ha Ha! Silly!!"

Albert: "When I was young, my father would often say that he didn't quite have the stature to be King. Without Doel, he couldn't do anything. He also said that it is you who was most likely to take the throne."

Doel: "I can't believe it. That's...why.... What did he see in me?"

Albert: "My father trusted in you. If you had gotten together and governed the country, this tragedy would never have happened."

Unfortunately Carlo was apparently kind of an idiot and never bothered to tell his brother “Hey, I could really use your help fixing up the country” and got murdered for his laziness.

Doel: "Albert! I'm a mere shadow of Carlo! I have no way left but to go forward!!"

Albert: "Uncle!!"


After fifteen hours of speechifying Albert finally gets to use a real attack. I love how when handed a fabulously well made weapon, he goes and kicks a guy in plate armor in the chest.


After a very short bit of stabbing, Doel dramatically falls to his knees.

Doel: "Why? Why doesn't my power work!? Why am I losing even though my power exceeds yours!?"

Doel also has very strange ideas of his power exceeding Albert’s. I mean, how many times does he need to get beat down by his nephew to acknowledge that he’s not the strongest?

Albert: "For Lavitz, who devoted himself to me and fell. For knights who fell in battle. I have to win for them!"

Doel: "Absurd! You are saying I have been wrong."

Albert: "I lost so many people in battle. In my times of deep sorrow and despair, my many friends like Dart imparted to me courage and strength."

Doel: "I see. You are not fighting alone. That's why I cannot defeat you."

Albert: "Uncle...."

Doel: "I've been unwise to become infatuated with power. But, I have no regrets. Carlo, the king's last words were to take care of this country and you. We have different ways but they lead to the same intention.”

Same results, not so much.

Doel: “As a man who grieves for the country, the rest depends on you."

Albert: "Uncle!!"


And so our favorite Uncle with the comically evil design fades away in a glow of white.



Albert: "But the annihilation of the world will generate a sadness equal to the number of living people."

Dart: "I won't let it. I will save both the world and Shana! We are here for that!"

Since Dart doesn’t get his own scene of personal growth he feels the need to butt in at the end of Albert’s.


After all this we can finally head back to where that rat bastard Michael knocked us off the pathway. It’s still a neat looking area.


Dart: "What is that?"

Miranda: "Incredible.... I cannot believe there is a palace more beautiful than the Crystal Palace."

Meru: "That is the palace of the Winglies."

Albert: "It could not be made with human technology."

Meru: "Let's go!"


Meru starts running across but a few feet out the glowy road vanishes and she has to use her wings to fly.

Dart: "The path has vanished!?"

Dart: Master of Observation


And then Meru gets forcibly teleported god knows where.


Oh. She got teleported TO god. Or at least possibly Wingly Jesus?

Meru: "What are you doin'!! Oops...? Where is everybody!? The... The Archangel!? Why are you here?"

Hey! It’s that guy Meru mentioned for about three seconds back in her village. Because one god was just not good enough for the Winglies like it is for everyone else on Endiness.

Archangel: "Meru...I know everything. You threw the pride of the sublime Winglies away, and have been with barbaric Humans, haven't you."

Meru: "Archangel! Humans are not barbaric! They have many good things which we Winglies don't have!"

Archangel: "Silence. Fine, Meru. I will make you remember the sublime spirit of a Wingly."


Deicide fight!


Make that Hindu Wingly Jesus. Our buddy Archangel is carrying a sword, shield, book, staff, flower, and a horn that is really hard to see what it is in hand #6.


I love Meru and her additions.


Being a sort of Wingly, Archangel is totally down with the magic.


And shooting his followers full of lightning. It’s for your own good, my child.


Archangel: "Wake up, Meru. You have already seen the reality of arrogant and ignoble Humans!"


Meru: "Archangel! Humans can never be ignoble creatures!”

Never mind those jerk bandits and a plethora of other humans we’ve beaten up.

Meru: “They help each other when they are in trouble, even if they don't know each other. And above all they have dreams and hopes."

Archangel: "Silly. Humans are feeble-minded even more than you would think. We have to rule them or eventually they will cease to exist."

Meru: "I don't think so!! All the lives in this world are equal. We shouldn't rule or be ruled!"

Archangel: "Silence, Meru!


Archangel has had enough of her free love hippie nonsense. It’s time for some good old fashioned smiting.


Heaven itself opens up and a legion of angels come flying down from the sky.


They look very friendly.


And then for the hell of it Archangel leads them forward while riding a three headed elephant. No. I don’t have any idea.


And then all the angels brutally swarm over Meru laying down a beating of the likes we shant see again. Until this move is used again later this fight.


Like Claire’s special move this drops Meru down to precisely 1HP. Meru is quick as hell though and can take any of Archangel’s regular hits and just defends up for now.


Archangel: "and saved tribes that would otherwise be extinct."

Meru: "Really!"

Archangel: "Once there was 107 species and half no longer exist. Our rule prevents the subversion of the world."

Meru: "That's wrong. 'Cuz there were species that were stamped out during the Winglies' domination!"

Archangel: "They were meant to be extinct from the beginning."


Meru: "You liar!! You destroyed them because they rebelled against the Winglies!!"

Archangel: "Meru! A heretic like you disturbs our ordered world."

Meru: "Shut up!!


Archangel busts out the Book of Assholery to lay down some more magic.


He launches his glowy bird thing at Meru


...and heals her to full health? What the hell kind of boss are you.


As thanks Meru shows him a dance routine.


Meru: "You are not real! You are an invented god so they can justify themselves, Archangel."

Archangel: "It's not true. I am a reflection of your mind. The disdain for Humans in your mind created me."

Meru: "It's not true! I don't believe it!!"

Archangel: "Meru, don't lie to yourself. You think you can continue to deceive yourself playing a fool like that?"

Meru: "You fool! Don't tell me crazy things!!”


Archangel calls down the smiting again. I just fucking love this elephant. It’s back legs are just kind of floating out there.



Archangel: "...Meru."

Meru: "Get out of my sight!! I love Humans."


Meru’s bitching: So powerful it can destroy demigods.


Meru: "Of course I am!? Let's go!!"

Meru is very sure of herself. But enough of facing our inner demons! On towards the end of the game.


Because things aren’t weird enough!