Part 105: I finally reached you.
-Looming Threat-That's just a little escape trick he knows. Don't worry about it.
More importantly...
Man's Voice: Hey! You sure they came this way?!
-Silence-
-Silver Will-
Right!
I'll get the ship launched immediately.
G-Got it!
(Activation key...recognized. Confirmation code...entered.)
(...And we can go!)
I'm opening the hatch via remote control. We'll be launching immediately, so take a seat.
Okay!
Enhanced Jaeger: Fire! Don't let them escape!
It's fine. We'll correct shortly.
There we go.
Enhanced Jaeger: Sortie the airships! We're going after them!
Whoa! This is a radar, isn't it? There's, um, three lights, getting closer! I think!
Mm. Pursuers. We'll need to evade them somehow.
Um. Joshua. You know how to fly an airship?
The basics, at least.
This ship doesn't have any armaments, however. This isn't the best situation for us to be in...
Oh, great...
Wait, why did you go for a ship with no weapons?
...This ship was undergoing maintenance so the security was lighter. It was an emergency, so I didn't have time to be picky.
An emergency...
Um...You don't mean...You don't mean the fact that I was caught on the Glorious?
...
Enough. We're going to be flying rough, so hang on to something.
*BLAM BLAM BLAM*
Waaaaaaaaaaah!
Those guys chasing us seem pretty good...
The pilots have been put through one of the society's piloting-focused enhancement programs, most likely. They won't be very good at adapting to the unusual, but for more common tasks like chasing down a ship...they're very good.
I get it...They're like those guys from earlier.
If they're bad at adapting, though, maybe we can cause some kind of accident--
*BOOM*
Gyah! Were we hit?!
No, wait. That wasn't our ship!
The Bobcat! But why?
quote:
Joshua! Joshua, you're on that ship, right?!
Yes, it's me! What are you guys doing here?! I thought you'd be out of Liberl by now!
quote:
Heh-heh! My brothers got all worried that you might run into a problem. So we've been shadowing that flying whale for a while.
Heh, reeeeeally? Who was the one begging us to follow Joshua, lookin' all worked up and ready to faint?
K-KYLE!
Enough, you two. And besides, lad, we have a little payback to give the society ourselves.
We thought we could stick around here until we settled our OTHER debt.
Thank you. You saved me.
quote:
Heheh! Yeah, you better be grateful!
We've had an eye on you for a while and noticed you weren't firing back. There some kind of problem?
quote:
I can imagine.
Wh-What do we do then...?
Right, then! We'll split them in two! You can probably lose one, right?
quote:
It's a plan, then. Blessings of Aidios be with you!
Joshua! Take care, you hear me?!
-Dancing With The Wind-
Nope! All the lights are out, it looks like. Seems like we completely lost them.
Good...
...
...
U-Um...
I gotta say, I was surprised by the bandits! They're kind of okay! I never thought they'd show up out of the blue to save us like that...
Maybe I've been a bit too hard on them.
It's true.
I just saw us as two parties bound to a contract...But I suppose relationships between people aren't that simple.
Haha...What's this all of a sudden?
Put two people together and maybe they'll fight, maybe they'll be friends. All kinds of stuff can happen. That's just how people act, y'know?
Yes.
...'How people act' was never very clear in the world I lived in.
Oh...
-Confession-
Kill, or be killed. Take, or be taken from. Until I met you, my life was an endless cycle of such...simplicity.
But, um.
Even you had some good times with Loewe and your sister, right?
Loewe told you about that, did he?
...
It's true I have those memories, but they feel like someone else's....
Wha...
After my heart was shattered...my memories of Hamel were no longer my own. I think it's because I gave up being human and chose to become a puppet.
...
I do clearly remember my sister's death.
She and I were attacked by a man lying in wait for stragglers. The man swatted me away and...forced my sister to the ground.
...Oh...
At the time, I was too young to know what he probably meant to do. All I knew was that he was hurting my sister and I had a bad feeling, so I grabbed onto the man's back.
I ended up getting crushed and thrown off immediately. Somehow, though, I had managed to get my hands on the man's gun.
...
Thinking about it, I wonder. Did I have a talent for killing people, even then? I'd never even been taught how, but I still removed the safety and pulled the trigger with no hesitation. The man fell over, spewing blood from his mouth, looking...confused. At that moment, I finally realized I'd shot a man.
...
He wasn't quite dead yet, though. He jumped up, combat knife out, screaming and gurgling incoherently with murder in his eyes.
I curled up and closed my eyes, like I was being attacked by a wild animal...
But there was no impact. I was embraced by something soft.
...
When I opened my eyes, there was my sister, gently smiling at me. The man had collapsed at some point...and Loewe was standing there, dumbstruck with horror. My sister, cradled by Loewe, gave me her harmonica...
...And then she closed her eyes.
...
I remember every detail, you see.
But even talking about it like this doesn't make me feel sad. It's just a slight tugging at the heart, like reading a stranger's diary.
And the same is true...of my time with you.
...No...
I do think I was changed a little by touching your warmth. I learned happiness and joy with you, and finally came to think of you as someone dear. But somewhere it all felt as if it was distant.
I suspect that's what my real self was feeling. The empty void...of the broken puppet that is Joshua Astray.
Please do not chase after me anymore.
...
I was a little happy to see you one last time, but...Even so, we should not be together.
Being with someone...like me...will never be good for you. And, to be frank, you will only be a burden to me. So--
You're a terrible liar, you know that?
What?
-The Whereabouts of Light: Instrumental-
Joshua...listen. I've seen and heard a lot since you left.
And now? Now I think I understand. I understand the reason you left. The real reason, the one you haven't even admitted to yourself.
...
You can't bear to be with me because your heart's broken? You feel like being with me is someone else's story that you can never, ever have?
And come on, 'I'll be a bad influence on you'? Or 'you'll hold me back'? What?
That's all a bunch of lies. Every single one. Especially that last one.
They aren't lies!
No, Joshua...Really, listen.
I understand now...You're really, really scared.
What...?
You think it's your fault that your sister died. And you'd never, ever forgive yourself if something happened to me. THAT'S why you ran away from me that night.
Everything else was just pinned on afterwards.
...
Haha, that's ridiculous.
Weissmann's conditioning left me incapable of feeling fear. He took away my ability to feel it so that I wouldn't hesitate during an operation. You're a little off target, I'm afraid.
No, darn it, I'm not talking about something that superficial!
You said you can't help but feel like your sister's death happened to someone else, right? Do you know why that is?
Of course. It's because I'm...a broken wreck of a human being.
Nuh-uh, no, no, wrongo. We aren't letting self-pity get in the way here.
Joshua, you...you just don't want to remember how awful it was when your sister died. How you blame yourself for it. Unconsciously you've been trying to think of it as someone else's problem, to get away from it. A lot of people do that...
...I!
And on that ship, don't tell me you weren't afraid there! I mean, it was a lot of work just to sneak on board, right? But you didn't even hesitate to help me escape...It's almost as if you were trying to get me away from danger as fast as you possibly could. Danger you were AFRAID of.
...
You aren't a 'broken wreck,' Joshua. You're just scared, mostly because you care for people so much it breaks your heart...and you're lying to yourself about it.
That's how I see it, and I know I'm right.
But I...That can't...
Why...can you...
Have you forgotten, buster? I'm Liberl's Number One Joshua-Watcher. Now that I know all about your past, too, I'm the biggest authority on Joshua Astray in the world!
I know more than Weissmann or Loewe, even!
...
Joshua scared and Joshua brave. Joshua lying and Joshua honest.
My...beloved Joshua.
I finally found you, Joshua. I finally reached you.
...Stop...
But I...I need to say this. I don't want to just be one more person you feel like you have to protect. As long as I'm a bracer, I can't stay away from danger.
That's not gonna change even if you leave again, Joshua. It's what I have to do to be who I am.
...
And so...And so, Joshua? Let's make a promise.
A...promise?
Let's go forward from now on and protect each other. Equally. I'm strong enough to be able to cover your back now, Joshua. And if you're at my side, there's nothing I can't beat. No matter what kind of crazy nonsense the society throws at me, I won't die. So...So you don't need to be afraid for me anymore. I promise.
Es...telle...
...I...
Why...How...? I...haven't been able to cry since...since Karin died...I could never even...shed tears as an act...but now...
Ah...it's okay.
No one's looking. Cry as long as you want.
And I'll...just hold you like this.