Part 56: Akane route, chapter 5: Go! Go! Muscle!Chapter 5: Go! Go! Muscle!
6/25: Hikari's birthday
We've already seen the event version of this, and there's no particular need to make Hikari really happy at this point, so it's best just to give her the good gift, not the best gift.
7/3: Bomb warning
For once, it's not Hikari! Also of note, this is the first run where Goon's Guts stat has gone above 100 - the headband hanging from the chair is our visual representation of that.
7/5: Homura bomb indicator
Goon: Hey, Akai-san!
Goon: A, Akai-san!
Goon: (Did I hurt Akai-san when I wasn't looking?)
Yep! It's Homura. It shouldn't be that surprising since we spent some time antagonizing her - the really surprising part is that she doesn't hate Goon anymore. The good thing is, her birthday is coming up, and that means I have a get out of bomb free card and won't need to burn two holidays on clearing this bomb.
Goon: Eh, not bad.
78th: Fudou Gunma
100th: Sakaki Takumi
114th: Hokari Jun'ichirou
124th: Hinomoto Hikari
145th: Minazuki Kotoko
192nd: Sakura Kaedeko
268th: Ichimonji Akane
305th (and dead last): Akai Homura
Homura's in last place, all is right in the world.
7/18: Homura's birthday
Best present: Comfy pillow
Good present: Music box
Bad present: Hair ribbon
Goon: Hey, Akai-san!
Homura: Hmm? What's up?
Goon: I got you a birthday present. Here, open it up!
Homura: Wahahaha, this is great!
Homura: You're the first person who's ever given me something this good.
Goon: (Good, it looks like she really liked it.)
And just like that, the bomb is defused. Always keep the upcoming birthdays in mind!
7/23: Ennichi year 2 with Akane
The initial dialogue is the same as year 1. "You look good" "thanks" etc.
Only 4 fish this year in the goldfish scooping mini-game, which isn't enough to get the "great date" result. It's fine, though, because Akane now likes Goon enough to get an extra Ennichi event.
Akane: Oh wow, all of this reminds me of when I was a kid.
Akane: Ooh, a candy apple. It looks so tasty.
Goon: Want to get one?
Akane: Hmm? Oh, no, I'm fine.
Akane: I'm not a kid anymore.
Goon: (Is she just trying to save money? I know!)
Goon: Here you go, Ichimonji-san.
Akane: What? You got one for me?
Akane: I'll, I'll pay you back.
Goon: Don't worry about it, it's my treat.
Akane: I can't let you do this all the time, though...
Goon: Here, eat up! It's delicious.
Akane: Okay. Thanks!
Akane: Mm, just as good as I imagined!
Goon: (I didn't think she would be this happy over such a little thing.)
This event has two forms, one at friendly status and one at blushing status - we'll see the extended version in year 3.
8/6: The beach with Akane
Akane's summer outfit.
Goon: Man, it's such a gorgeous day.
Akane: Yeah! The smell, the sun, this heat...
Akane: I love the ocean.
Goon: Yeah, you seem made for the ocean, Ichimonji-san.
Akane: Thank you for saying that. Now let's get moving!
Akane: Hmm? Are you not gonna swim?
Option 1: I'll swim plenty, once I'm done stretching.
Option 2: I prefer sunbathing at the beach, I only swim at pools.
Option 3: I like playing in the waves more.
Goon: I'll swim plenty, once I'm done stretching.
Akane: That's the spirit! I'm going on ahead, so finish up quick and come join me!
Goon: (Looks like I made a great impression!)
8/14-8/18: Kendo summer camp
The only special thing about kendo club summer camp is a new line for the peeking-at-the-baths option.
Goon: ...Somehow, I ended up here.
It sounds unenthusiastic - perhaps Goon knows that there is no possible way that looking in on the baths will go well for him.
8/26: Fireworks with Akane
The dialogue and choices are the same again - no complaints about a two-for-one good date, though.
9/4: The start of the new semester, and some sad news
Goon: Hey, Takumi. What's going on?
Goon: You look down, that's rare for you.
Takumi: Did you hear? Sakura-san transferred out of school...
Goon: Wh, where is she now?
Takumi: I'm checking now.
Takumi: I'll let you know when I find out.
And with that, we will never see Kaedeko at school again.
9/6: The real run begins
Secretly, one of the reasons I spent so much time fiddling with the affection of non-Akane girls was not just to be a better bro for Jun. As soon as you become friendly with Akane, punks start coming out of the woodwork to challenge you to fights, and you want to be able to put up a good fight. It results in this first midboss being a bit easy, but it's better to be overleveled than to fail!
If you would like to see this in motion (complete with narration and translation of all of the lines), I've uploaded the first video of the Akane run:
On with the show!
Goon: (Hmm? There's a letter in my locker.)
"Meet me at the riverside park after school today."
Option 1: Go to the riverside park
Option 2: Go straight home
The smart thing to do is to go straight home and ignore the letter. However, Goon's not one to stand down from a fight - and besides, this has an impact on Akane's affection.
Actually, it has an impact on everyone's affection, but let's ignore that for now and let's rumble!
Goon: ...Guess I'll go.
???: Yer not giddin' oudda here alive!
Goon: Wh, who are you?
Muscle: Ah'm Sakuradamon Chouta.
Muscle: But erryone calls me Muscle Banchou.
Muscle: So you call me dat too.
Chouta's title of Kinniku Banchou is a reference to Kinnikuman, the famous superhero wrestling manga from Yudetamago. He also talks like he has a permanently stuffed nose.
It's a showdown with Muscle Banchou!
Thanks to Goon's kendo training, a regular attack does about 4k damage to Muscle. Muscle Banchou's HP are 8,000 plus 10 per day that has passed in the playthrough, so he has roughly 14k HP or so after a year and a half have passed. Four attacks will take care of him, but his attacks are worth looking at, even if they don't hurt at all with Goon's high Guts score supercharging his defense.
Muscle's main attack is Harite, a fancy sumo term for an open-handed slap. It sounds silly, but remember that the average sumo wrestler has giant ham hocks for hands, so it's pretty effective in practice.
His strongest attack is called "I don't need the push from my farts!", which means nothing unless you've seen Kinnikuman - and even then, no one knows what it really means. It's Kinnikuman's catch phrase, and the running gag in Kinnikuman goes:
"I don't need the push from my farts [to beat you]!"
"I have no idea what he just said, but what confidence!"
Muscle Banchou flops over like a turtle when you defeat him. He's worth 1500 XP and 300 G, and you get Curry Rice, Steel Gakuran, Bottomless Hat, and a Megaton Gauntlet for beating him.
None of this actually means anything to the rest of the game.
Muscle: Yer strong.
Muscle: But the Soubanchou will nebber let you go.
Goon: (So, Soubanchou?)
9/10: Akane's birthday
Best present: Hand cream
Good present: Necklace
Worst present: Jigsaw puzzle
Since it's a weekend, Goon heads to Akane's house to give her the present.
Akane: Oh, wh, what's up?
Nothing special. Beat up a guy. Got you some lotion. You know, the usual.
Goon: It's your birthday, isn't it Ichimonji-san?
Goon: Here, I got you a present.
Akane: Whoa, you remembered? Thanks!
Akane: Um, are you busy today?
Goon: No, I don't really have any plans.
Akane: Want to come inside for a sec?
Akane: My brother's out right now, so it's just me, and...
Akane: And I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming in for a birthday party with just the two of us...
Goon: Oh, sure.
Akane: Wow, thanks! This is amazing. I'll treasure it.
Goon: (Good, it looks like she really liked it.)
9/17: Kendo match
At this point, Goon has built himself enough confidence that the lines here are going to change.
Goon: Alright, let's do this.
Goon: Oh, hey Jun.
Jun: I came to cheer you on. Show me your skill.
Goon: I will. Take a good look!
Hibikino High wins!
Goon: You see that? That's how good I am.
Jun: I underestimated you.
Jun: To be honest, I didn't think you had come this far.
Goon: (I did it!)
9/18-9/22: Class trip
For this trip, I chose the trip we haven't seen yet, Kyoto/Nara. Historic castles and temples, tons of cultural significance... and one restless Homura.
Goon's class is currently looking at Kinkaku-ji, a famous temple in Kyoto.
Homura: Hmmm, the golden wonder of a gilded age.
Homura: It's not a bad view.
Goon: It's pretty elegant.
Homura: Elegance? What's that? Can you eat it?
Homura: Whatever. More importantly, it's so close...
Goon: Wh, what do you mean?
Homura: If only this thing could transform, it would be perfect.
Goon: (I knew it.)
9/20: Akane event
Akane: Goon-kun Goon-kun!
Goon: Hey, Ichimonji-san. What's up?
Akane: Hey, so we're free to go wherever we want tomorrow, right?
Akane: Want to go sightseeing with me?
Option 1: Of course I do!
Option 2: S, sorry, I, uh...
There is only one real choice.
Akane: Great! We'll meet up in the lobby, okay? I don't want to be late.
Bakuretsuzan: Who's there?!
Bakuretsuzan: It's past lights-out!
Akane: Oh no, it's the principal! If he catches us, we'll be punished!
Goon: Crap! Uh, this way, Ichimonji-san!
Goon: Hide in this room!
Akane: O, okay.
Goon: (Whoa! Whoa!)
Bakuretsuzan: Wheeeere are you hiding?!
Akane: Wheeeew. My heart was about to leap out of my chest!
Akane: But it was kinda thrilling and fun, too.
Goon: Y, yeah.
Akane: Okay, let's sneak out of here.
Akane: B, bye. See you tomorrow morning.
Akane: Good morning!
Goon: Good morning.
Akane: Sorry I'm late, were you waiting long?
Goon: Nah, I just got here.
Goon: You're pretty chipper today, Ichimonji-san.
Akane: Of course I am!
Akane: I've been waiting for this forever.
Akane: Let's get moving!
Akane: Wow, that statue of Nio looks way stronger than it does in all the pictures.
Goon: Yeah, it's way bigger than I thought it was.
Akane: Uh-huh. And he really comes alive.
Akane: It's like he's the strongest gatekeeper in the world.
Goon: Hahaha, I can see that.
Akane: I don't really have interest in Buddhist imagery, but I really like this kind of thing.
Goon: ("Strong" is really important to Ichimonji-san, isn't it.)
Goon: A gi, giant deer?!
Option 1: Flee alone.
Option 2: Flee together.
Option 3: Fight so that Ichimonji-san can escape.
If Akane likes the strong, there's only one thing we can do!
Sika Great attacked!
Okay, maybe this wasn't the brightest idea.
Sika Great's main attack is called Wild Headbutt, and technically, we can actually win this one - Sika Great is the easiest of the 3 animal bosses.
As usual, when Goon's health gets low, Sika Great does Stun Beat, an attack that leaves Goon near death.
Goon: Oh no! I can't move!
Komusou: Please leave it to this humble servant of Buddha.
The Komusou of Justice appeared!
The Komusou, it must be noted, is also voiced by Wakamoto Norio. This is pretty much why I chose to lose, even though I could easily have beaten the deer given some more time.
The Komusou plays a mystical tune on his shakuhachi that causes the deer to forget the material world.
Komusou: O lost deer, calm your anger, and know peace.
Komusou: Regrettably, you have seen a most shameful display.
Komusou: This humble servant must take his leave.
Goon: Hey, Ichimonji-san.
Akane: Are you okay?
Akane: I'm glad help came in time.
Akane: You did everything you could. Thank you.
Goon: N, nah...
Goon: Hey, Ichimonji-san. What's up?
Akane: Are you busy?
Goon: Not right now.
Akane: They say that there's a place nearby with a great view.
Goon: Oh, really?
Akane: S, so... do you want to go there with me and see for yourself?
Goon: Yeah, sure.
Akane: This place feels like a really well-kept secret.
Akane: I can't believe it has such a good view.
Goon: Yeah, it really looks nice from here.
Akane: The class trip is over soon, isn't it...
Goon: Yeah, it felt really short because we were always in a hurry to get to the next place.
Akane: But I had a lot of fun.
Akane: So much fun, it felt like I can travel like this forever.
Akane: Ha, but if I did that, I'd be just like my parents, hehehe.
Akane: It was really fun hanging out with everyone.
Goon: Especially what?
Goon: (What was she about to say?)
Next time: Boss Rush