Part 8: A Fair Justice System

Update 7: A Fair Justice System

Good morning, people of the world, and welcome back to TNN’s Very Special Broadcast! As always, I am your host, Juanito! The situation at the mine has been dealt with, but I will get to that in due time. First, let us begin with the world news.

I imagine a great many of you were repenting wishing to see a nuclear bomb go off outside of Tropico after the crisis in Cuba last year. They say the Americanos were very close to actually using all of their bombs until Khrushchev finally backed down and removed the missiles. It seems that Kennedy does not want a repeat of the incident, and there is now a direct phone line between the two powers. It is a shame how he cannot use it, seeing as how he has been assassinated. Mr. Pizzaman has sent his condolences to the new El Presidente Johnson, as well as a set of recommendations for how to avoid being shot. It may require several chickens and chili-filled rum, but El Presidente points out that he has remained alive in spite of the odds, so he must be doing something right.


As for our island, not very much has happened. The people of the world spoke, and for once, they were heard! El Presidente purchased two sets of blueprints from the Americanos, and now we will save very much money if and when we build the power plants and the airports.

However, many of you wished for El Presidente to allow the Americanos to give us a nuclear bomb instead. Mr. Pizzaman seemed disappointed when he heard that the money would be credited directly to the treasury, and so he did not allow the bomb to be dropped. However, Juanito went to a South Pacific island for his Christmas vactation, and I remembered to bring my camera!


This was taken on my approach to the island. The cloud made the entire island turn a pleasant shade of ochre.


Many people seemed to think the end of the world had come, aside from a pair of very happy tourists.


The local cardinal did not seem very pleased, however.


On the other hand, life in Tropico has been going very well! El Presidente has even allowed the builders to construct another pair of apartment buildings. It seems there is only so much complaining about la cucarachas that even Mr. Pizzaman can stand.


The tourists have been enjoying themselves at our resorts as well.


The Intellectuals cannot stop complaining, however. They refuse to give up hope in getting El Presidente’s attention!


In other news, El Presidente built a botanical garden to please the tourists. However, it turned out that a college-educated worker would need to take care of the plants before the building could open.


So now we have a college! Our Presidente loves his people. Still, he made sure the builders knew that the building priority was low, so that Mr. Pizzaman’s other projects would be completed first.


Projects such as Tropico’s very first prison! Even the communist leader Vincente Vandaro Vandaron approved of the construction, becoming one of the two guards for the location.


It was late in ’63 that the miners threatened to strike. Instead, El Presidente decided to give them all $200 dollars each, which is far more than any of the miners could have seen in three years! Understandably, they all suddenly forgot why they were striking in the first place, and went back to work.


It was not until very late in November that the college was finished and a professor was hired from abroad to staff it. It is hoped that many jobs will finally be filled now that Tropico can produce its own college educated workers.

But now, our special segments!



Today’s Adopt a Tropican is very special indeed, as it is our first return to a previously interviewed subject. That is right, we are again interviewing Richard Nixon!


It seems that in all this time, Mr. Nixon has remained a dockworker at our industrial dock. He lives in the tenements rather than a shack, but he is still without a wife or children. His belief in the Nationalist cause has increased, but little else has changed. He has been heard complaining about his life very often, and his neighbors in the tenement have declared him a nuisance.


El Presidente always has the interests of his people at heart, so he decided to take action.


Mr. Nixon was taken by a police officer to the prison. Onlookers all agreed that the new method of dealing with those who threaten the stability of the government is much more pleasant.


Sadly, there is no room in the police cars for criminals, so the two had to walk all the way down to the docks.


On the way over, the police officer was nice enough to let Mr. Nixon have one last talk with the factory worker, Red Magus.


Welcome to your new home, Richard Nixon!


That is what I would say, if El Presidente had not decided that he never wanted to see Mr. Nixon anymore.

Farewell from all of us on Tropico, Mr. Nixon! May your life in America give you more happiness than you had here.



At last, it is time to speak of the Environmentalists, the final faction on Tropico. It seems that Juanito may have to actually think about what to put here next time!


The Environmentalists are a small faction, smaller even than the Intellectuals. They apparently love the beauty of the island more than they love jobs, so it is understandable why there are so few.


The Environmentalists are also very simple to understand: make sure the island is full of green and not of smoke! Since smoke is a sign of good industry, you can understand El Presidente’s difficulty in appeasing them! It is fortunate they are so small, then, or else he might have to listen to them.

And now, there is the vote you have been waiting for. With a college now on the island, there are many buildings we can now construct that need college graduates to run. We could build them before, of course, but while they would be pretty to look at, there would be no one to run them.


The first option is an oil refinery. Offshore deposits have been found several years ago, but until now we did not have the ability to exploit them. The refinery will not only allow us to drain the black stuff from the water, but will process it into something much more valuable. There is much money to be made in oil, I am told.


Second, we can build the power plant. This is very useful, because many additions to the factories require power, and all the good houses and hotels need power before we can build them. I know El Presidente seems very interested in making this happen, but unlike me, you do not have to listen to him.


The third option is the newspaper. I know a lot of Tropicans have been feeling repressed because of all the soldiers and police everywhere, and even just reading about things happening elsewhere in the world will make them feel liberated.