Part 12: Come See Our Lovely Army Base

Update 11: Come See Our Lovely Army Base

Good morning once again, people of the world! This is TNN with our Very Special Broadcast. I am Juanito, and this is El Presidente.

(Backup)

Naturally, waiting for the election results was once again the reason why our broadcast is once again late, as it was not until this January that the counting was finished. But enough of that for now! Let us discuss the world news.

It seems that the Americanos simply cannot leave Vietnam alone, as they are still involved over there! I cannot imagine what they see in Southeast Asia. Still, I suppose it is better they spend their time there rather than question El Presidente’s “counting methods.” Also nearby, the country Cambodia has been taken over by someone named “Lon Nol” and his “Khmer Rouge.” The Asians have such silly names, I think. Do you not agree, Smarms?

_{Si, siñor Juanito.}

In more local news, Salvador Allende has become el presidente of Chile after a drawn-out battle between two other candidates. It has been supposed that he has had so much trouble because he is a very vocal Marxist in the Western hemisphere. Still, I hope his presidency goes well for him!


In Tropico, the voting has clearly indicated that the people of the world wish an airport to be built on our fair island! While the mine has not been completely depleted, progress should not have to wait.


Thus, the mine was bulldozed early. With so many openings on the island, the miners should have no trouble finding other work.


Sadly for those who wished to see the airport open immediately, the project is far too big to finish quickly, and it is believed that many years will be needed to finish construction. Thus, as El Presidente still wishes other buildings to be built in that time, we have given the airport a low priority.


Meanwhile, El Presidente has very kindly increased the wages of all uneducated jobs to $6 dollars a month! Mr. Pizzaman is so generous.


In unrelated news, all tenement rents have gone up to $2. Tropican families will not spend more than 1/3 of their combined income on rent, but since we all earn at least $6 a month, these new rents can be afforded easily!


The hospital has finished construction, but not before three more died from easily curable diseases. Hopefully we will not see this happen again in the future!


The latest elections were held in ’71, with C. once again running against our dear El Presidente.


Mr. Pizzaman’s speech you heard at the beginning of this broadcast. Some complained that he was reusing earlier talking points, but Juanito believes that if something is not broken, it should not be fixed!


Sadly, the rebels immediately countered El Presidente’s speech with an announcement of their own: the dockworkers had been made to strike in spite of El Presidente’s kindness! We would have brought this matter to the people of the world, but the options were very few. The dockworkers were and are too important to the economy of Tropico to be allowed to strike, and as the “third option” had a chance for failure, that was out as well. Thus, the dockworkers were given the gift of $200 each, and having no real reason to strike, they went back to work immediately.


In the May of last year, the army base finished construction, providing very nice living conditions and healthcare for the soldiers of the island. The garage which provides fast traveling from the area was also finished by this point, as was one of the two new corn farms. Our population has just reached 250 people, and the two farms we have already are simply not enough for all of us to have enough to eat.


Then in June, a disaster struck! In spite of having no llamas on the island, it seems the IHO believes we are infected, and our island is under quarantine! Until the quarantine is raised, no one is allowed to leave or enter the island. Except for tourists, of course, but they will not want to visit an infected island. Not normally, I should say, as our popular attractions and quality hotels have brought many rich tourists to the island in spite of the potential epidemic.


The soldiers do not seem infected, at least, as they have been moving into the base in large numbers.


The elections went ahead as planned, as well.


And with El Presidente’s special counting methods, could there have been any doubt in the winner?

Let us move on to the special segments.




Today’s lucky Tropican was recently released from prison, having served his 5-year term for the crime of being unemployed.


As you can see, Cousarr had already fixed the problem by joining the construction workers just as soon as he was free. And after five years of listening to “Voodoo Pizza, After All,” his respect for El Presidente has gone through the roof!


Cousarr has done very well at adapting to his new profession. Why, here you can see him not building a tenement! Truly the building job suits him perfectly.


He has even been able to afford a real tenement apartment thanks to his new job. The smell of trash may be everywhere, but at least his toilet now stops up only half of the time.

_{¿Señor Juanito? Esto es para ti.}


Excuse me, there has been a new development. It seems that soon after visiting the cinema, Cousarr, who was never a very good fit as a construction worker, has decided to follow his true calling as a farmer. TNN wishes you luck with your new job!



It has occurred to me that while I have shown all of the factions and superpowers, there are still a couple of pages Juanito has not shown in the political tab.


It is a wise El Presidente who watches the level of threats to his power. As you can see, there are no fewer than five situations that could threaten El Presidente, such as the foreign powers, a coup d’etat, an active rebellion, or even a popular uprising! While the army has become very happy now that they have a base to play in, three rebels still live out in the jungle, and the Russians never seem to completely trust El Presidente’s regime. I am not sure they will ever truly stop threatening us.


The second page here shows the combined respect of all the factions, as well as a graph for how they have felt about El Presidente over the years. While the Intellectuals and Religious have had poor opinions about El Presidente, it is only the Intellectuals who now dislike El Presidente. As he has promised them more freedom in the near future, perhaps this will change soon?


However, this vote is not about buildings at all. Instead, there is another set of edicts about domestic policy which you may now vote for!

The first is amnesty, which is a letter El Presidente sends to the rebels to say that it is okay for them to return now. This only works if the island is doing much better than when they left, but since this is true, it may actually work. Of course, then El Presidente will have no one to blame when the bad things occur.

Next is the early elections, but that would just be silly, as we have only just finished a fair and balanced election.

We can call an inquisition onto the island so that El Presidente can use religion to lock up his enemies. Protests, uprisings, and coups will all be much less likely to occur, although the rebels will see the inquisition as a reason to attack more often, and both liberty and tourism will suffer. Tropicans will also go to church twice as often, and we have three full churches as it is!

Rather than a full inquisition, El Presidente could also call for a book burning. The Intellectual faction will be decreased by half, now and in the future, but students will also learn at half the speed.

In emergencies, El Presidente can call for martial law. I hope that the people of the world do not think this is necessary. No elections are held while martial law is active, and while crime will go down, so will liberty, tourism, and all forms of production.

Next, we can invite the pope for a visit. Everyone likes it when the pope shows up, especially the Religious faction. The priests and cardinals will also be inspired by their spiritual master’s appearance, raising the quality of churches and cathedrals for years afterwards.

We can also invoke the right of conscription, which under Tropico law is still voluntary. However, high school educations will no longer be required, though those without degrees will not be as good at fighting.

There is also the option of military modernization, which will improve the army base’s living conditions and health care, not to mention improve the soldiers’ fighting ability. For instance, did you know that someone has invented an assault rifle newer than the AK-47? I know I was surprised!

So what do the people of the world think Tropico should do? Juanito hopes very, very much that you choose wisely!