The Let's Play Archive


by Seorin

Part 76

The rush of the wind fills my ears---and for some reason, I am standing many meters away from her.

She clicks her tongue and glares at me.

My left arm hurts.
"What...... Huh-----!?"
I'm surprised.
From the elbow down, my arm is broken.

Not broken normally, but my lower arm is bent in the shape of a triangle.

"Aren't you going to pull out your knife?"
She looks at me with a bored expression.
...... She's looking down at me.
She looks down at me as if saying she could kill me at any moment.

Pain. Pain shoots from my arm to my brain.
The blood from my broken arm seems to flow like poison into my nerves.
Just with that, my mind fills with a white blankness.

She continues to look at me with those cold eyes.
You break my arm, and you still act that way!?
Do you know how much this hurts!?
Making such a fool of me.
Making such a fool of me!
Making such a fool of me------!

It's not like that's difficult.

"---Are you stupid?"

Yes, he is.

her body, explodes.

----No, that's not right.
She crouches down low to the ground---almost like a lizard, and runs up towards me in a flash.

She closes the distance of six meters in a flash.

She's not in my vision at all.
Her whole body is below my knee-height, and explodes upward from there.

A thud.

From right beneath me, her bayonet accurately shoots directly for my throat.

"A, Aa, Aaaaaaah!"
It hurts.
It hurts so much the word pain doesn't come close to describing it.

"Haa, aaa, aggggg------!"
But, I'm alive.
Still, I'm alive.

My body. My body is away from her again.
I smell a whiff of gunpowder from my shoulder.

"A, Aah, ah."
Just now. The instant that bayonet pierced me, she must have pulled the trigger.
I was blown away by that, and there's distance between us again.

"...... To happen twice, that must mean it's not a coincidence. With that much blood pouring out, not dying from shock must already be a sign that your body has begun to change."

Ga-chang! A metallic sound.
The sword on the end of that weapon changes into a new one.
The sword that shot me just now falls---and turns into pages of a book and scatters.

This effect is really fucking cool in the anime.

"...... That's...... ridiculous."
But that ridiculous thing is really frightening.
That---just touching me carries a fatal poison.
I'll die.
Without a doubt, I'll be killed.

She readies her weapon once more with another metallic clang.
...... Twice.
Withstanding that twice can be nothing but a miracle.
The next time will certainly----

I imagine that bayonet piercing me right in the face.
That's more repulsive than frightening.

Death is.
No matter how it happens, something useless, dirty, and disgusting.
I like myself---so I don't want that to happen.

Boy, a brush with death sure changed his emo heart real fast.

Is that why I'm scared?
I don't know.
Come to think of it---I was always able to see "death", but I never thought about "death" at all.

No, that doesn't really matter right now.
*pant*, *pant*, *pant*-----
I have to escape.
I don't want to die, so I have to get away.

"--You won't take off your glasses?"
A simple, plastic voice.

That's it. Plastic is my new favorite adjective. "My, you're looking quite plastic today." "This coffee is awfully plastic." "Would you tell your sister to stop being so plastic?"

Those words. I gasp at their meaning.
Because taking them off means I would see Senpai's "lines".
If that happens, I might kill her----

Damn air, always trying to kill you when you least expect it!

"...... I can't spend any more time with you. Please just die already."

Her figure plunges low again.

---She's coming.

Even though I know she's going to run towards me again, it's hard for me to even see her.

I lift myself up with one arm.
What sticks through me is one of those swords that looks like a nail that Senpai was using before.

I must be numbed to pain, and I pull out the sword skewering my back from behind.
...... Since it penetrated through me, I got mad and pulled it out from my chest.
Now I can escape inside......!

"What do you plan on doing by escaping, Tohno-kun?"

Before that,
I hear Senpai's voice from behind me.

"You still don't understand? How fast do you think you just ran here? Why are you still alive after receiving that fatal wound?"

My mind begins to white out.
Don't let her trick you.
Don't let her trick you.
Hasn't she been deceiving you all along?
Don't listen to her anymore.
If you listen, you'll die.
Ignore her.
Don't accept it.
Even if it is the truth, this body can only reject it---

I leap.
My back, my shoulders, my arm are all almost dead, but I leap as if it was nothing.

---I can't even believe it myself.
Still breathing wildly and with a speed that matches Senpai, I run into the school building.

Music: play track 8

*pant*, *pant*, *pant*, *pant*-----
But I'm at my limit.
Is it because I'm out of breath or is it that my wounds won't let me move my arms and legs anymore?
Whatever it is, it doesn't matter.

My breathing becomes more forced.
At the end of the hallway.
Coming onto a wall aimlessly, I fall.
I fall on my back, and try to get back up, and feel foolish for doing so.

...... *pant*...... *pant*...... *pant*
Sitting cross-legged on the floor, I lean my back against the wall.
Throwing back my head, I take a big breath of air.

"-----The moon."
Looking up, I can see the moonlight through the window.
Is it because I'm so exhausted?
Everything I look at seems vague, as if everything was covered in a mist.

Does that mean it is indefinite?
The same as me. The same as the person called Tohno Shiki, indefinite.

I'm starting to not understand.
I always thought I was Tohno Shiki.
But that was a different person, and they tell me I'm just an adopted son from somewhere.
Being adopted means I should have memories of before I came to the Tohno mansion, but there's nothing.
I...... really, I only have the memories of Tohno Shiki.

...... In the end, just what was I?
It's stupid not knowing anything about myself and just disappearing like this.

Everything is so vague, it's stupid.
A world where I can see death.
A vision where I can perceive death.
That day eight years ago.
I was able to meet Sensei and was able to live normally.
I can still declare that it was proper to meet her.

"...... But, Sensei. I, guess I, was someone, who shouldn't be alive."
...... I should end my life while some part of me can still think that.

Imminent death has passed, back to

But I can't do it.
I can't kill myself.
Even if it is pointless, even if it is a mistake, I want to keep on living.

If I die, everything will become a lie.
I want to keep on living.
No matter how wrong it is, no matter how many things I have to lose, I want to keep on living.

Only her.
If only I had Ciel-senpai with me. I wouldn't care what else I had to lose.

---For that sole reason, I have kept on living like this. But, that is all over now.
These past five years. Was it a long time? Was it a short time? I don't know.

---I have to thank you, Tohno-kun.
My work here is done now. All that's left is for me to take responsibility for all my actions.

"...... Li, ar."
Yeah. But, maybe there was some truth in there, too. Because even though she deceived me, not even once...

---Thank you so much for everything until now. It has been a long time since I've been this happy.
So, let's finish with a handshake.

"...... You, big liar."
Not even once did she lie to me.

But that person herself was a lie.
I can't even think that smile could really be a lie.

But, this is what reality is.
...... Ciel is a lie, and she was staying near me only so she could kill me.
I was fooled.
She did not love me at all. And when she helped me when I was completely lost, too.
And the time we spent during breaks for no reason, too.
All of it was just to confirm if I was Roa or not.

I grit my teeth.
I grit my teeth hard.

"...... Damn it."
I scratch the wall in frustration.
Yes, I was tricked.
Ciel got closer to me, calculating everything.

"...... Even still."
Feeling pain in my heart, I scratch the wall.
...... Yes, I was tricked.
But, still----

"---I, can't hate Senpai."

No matter what, that's still true.
It was only less than two weeks since I met Senpai, but---I really was happy.

"...... Damn it-----"
That's why I can't hate her.
But that's an illusion only for me.
That's why I regret only that.

Music: stop

This... Senpai?

...... It looks like I'm really done.

My head starts to rage again.
But still, I don't want to die.
If I don't want to die---there's only one thing to do.

The footsteps get louder.
Her shadow grows larger.

Remember this image.

I stand up as I strongly grip my knife.

The footsteps get even louder.
I sense the enemy coming closer.
All the time, someone's voice echoes in my brain.
Slice her apart. Slice her apart.
Slice her apart. Slice her apart. Slice her apart.

This Senpai.

This Senpai.

"This is, what I decided."

"I don't need you to tell me what to do."

"If you don't want to be killed by Ciel."
"Just shut up until it's over, Roa."

The voice disappears completely.
The footsteps, and her approaching shadow.

----Ciel appears before me.

Music: play track 7

"That's good. Now there is no sin for either of us.
Now that we are both trying to kill each other, our sin will die. Now there is only punishment for the one who lives."
...... Since we are both trying to kill each other there is no sin?
Her words are part of a world I can't understand.

"I see. Then is that punishment for the one that's left alive atoneable?"
"Yes. Something that is atoneable is what we call punishment. If it is called punishment, there is no reason for it not to be atoneable. The only thing that does not disappear is the sin.
So---we don't want to carry that burden, do we?"
Saying that,
she takes another step forward.

That's, not right.
Certainly I am getting killed, so I'm killing her back to protect my own life.
But to say there's no sin---what would happen to Ciel?
From the beginning, she came here with an unrequited will to kill.

That is---

"Farewell. Let us lower the curtain on this ridiculous play."
The last step.

Her readied bayonet shoots toward my heart.

Before then,
I lunge forward and aim for the "point" on her right lung.

---I didn't think I could kill her.

It's only natural for her to pierce my heart before I get within knife range.
That's why I was surprised.
I easily dodged her blade and was able to pierce her "point" with ease.
"----Sen, pai."
It looked like she accepted my knife on purpose.

"That was, my, greatest sin."

Sounding like she's crying, she uses her remaining strength to stab me with her bayonet.

Did you, know?
Did you know from the beginning---that if there was such a thing as sin, it would only be for you?

The sensation in my limbs fades away.
My consciousness, too. It will be seconds before I bleed to death.
The instant I was stabbed,
I had a vision of something like an old book, scattering and crumbling away page by page.

Probably, with that, the thing called Roa was dispersed.

If she could have apologized to me, then I bet she would have felt some relief...... But, she couldn't even say that.
Since she knew it was something that wasn't atoneable by apology, she didn't apologize to the very end.

That determination. It makes me angry that I made her go that far.

"What. In the end----"
I liked her?
Until the very end.
Feeling sad like this until my own death, she was that dear to me.

I cough weakly and spit out blood.

Music: stop

Music: play track 4

"I'm not convinced. Even if you don't want to fight Ciel, there's some people who unconditionally took off their glasses.
What is up with that?"

"Thou shalt not steal, rape, or deceive others. It might sound familiar for some of you. If so, then go on a journey through time to this morning.
Yes. Come to think of it, the princess might have an idea of that, no?"

Music: stop

Nrvnsqr... likes to watch?

It might be a bit before the next update, but I'll get it up tonight hopefully. Unfortunately, we've peaked. This path only gets worse from here on out. This is my favorite ending for this path, by far.