Part 6: Udoiana Raunes 2: Update I - A Game Worth Dying For
Alright, let's get crackin'.
Like the first game, we begin with an opening text crawl that sets up the story.
It's spring 2005, Eight years after Dr. Udoiana Raunes was the leading actor in an Indiana Jones fan game. He restored the school order in his small high school in Munich. Eight years full of peace and harmony. Now Dr. Raunes is looking for his retirement. (poor guy, he invested in the german state-run pension insurance)
Feeling happy that he never would have to appear in a lousy fan game again he enjoys nature and walks through beautiful german forests ...until today...
To note: I'm transferring the text 1:1. So errors that appear in the text will just show up here too. There will be a lot of rough stuff coming up, as you can imagine.
Also, to start the game and for the first area, we get a funky remix of the original Udoiana Raunes theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PW4Vwwmm3I
To compare, the original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mQ5fHzDgvA
I like this new version.
And our hero appears!
Come on, what's that? I feel so rough-pixeled and flat. Hey guys, it's the 21st century! We live in a world of 3-dimensional high-end photorealistic computer graphics... and you let me appear in the way of the early 90s?!? Can you imagine how it hurts to be made of just 100 pixels? Will this stupid fan game ever end?
And here we are, the game has begun! So right off the bat, Raunes directly addresses the developers and chews them out for re-using the engine. We're off to a good start. You'll notice the interface too has made a shift to English. Nothing much different from what I translated in the first game - "Take" became "Pick Up", and "Take Apart" became "Detach". Let's have a look around.
>Look at whip
An original Udy-Whip (TM)!
>Look at trump (the stump over to the left)
This trump might be very important.
Is it? I don't know. That is a pretty yooge and luxurious stump. Also, "trump" is not what you call that. I've never heard of a stump being referred to as a trump. Spelling mistake?
And of course, we all know you can't stump the Trump.
>Look at lake
A lake within the nature.
>Look at nut (to the top right of the frog)
Nothing but a nut.
Well, it stands out, and that means only one thing:
>Pick up nut
And we now have our first new inventory item!
>Look at nut
I'd like to eat it on my own, but the shell is too strong.
So there will probably be a puzzle to crack that nut, gotcha. Also, while we're looking around, the frog is constantly croaking:
That's the German onomatopoeia for frogs croaking, as opposed to the English "ribbit". Guess that was to be expected. We'll actually deal with the frog later. For now, more looking.
>Look at rock
This rock would be nothing without a Frog King on it.
>Look at Frog King
A mythical creature from a fairy tale.
>Look at Schwarzwald (over to the right)
A sad german forest. If the german red-green socialist government continues destroying the economy like in the past years Germany will look like the steppe of Kyrgyzstan in the future.
Oh, we're getting political all of a sudden. That's interesting. Well, at least Red/Green would not be in power for much longer. Now, let's walk over to the other sid-
Jesus, that got dark.
Is this a joke? Where is the camera?
There is no hidden camera! This is true, sad, rough-pixeled reality!
Man, they sure love hitting that "rough-pixeled" point.
Why are young people always hanging around?
Ha-Ha-Wrks! Why do old people always critizise this?
Should we really discuss THAT right now?!?
No, let's change the topic.
Puns! You gotta love 'em.
Don't you like this place?
Why do you think I am hanging here?
Because I want to spend my last hours in nature.
Young man, are you in trouble?
I <wrks> can't wait any longer... they let me wait <wrks> ...always wait. I'm getting older and older <wrks>. They told the world... <wrks> that they will make a fourth Indiana Jones movie... more than ten years ago... more than TEN years!!! <wrks> I always wait <wrks> ...and wait and wait! And the movie <wrks> ...delayed and delayed and delayed. I don't wanna live anymore... without Indy! I'm a poor <wrks> poor <wrks> poor <wrks> fan!
You don't need Indy! You have me! Raunes! OR I'm Raunes. I'm more than a fan! I'm a fan game!
You're nothing! I've played Udoiana Raunes 2! It was bad, ugly-pixeled, uninspired, and it finally stuck at the copier! I couldn't finish it!
To note: This game is Udoiana Raunes 3. The previous game was Udoiana Raunes 2. The game that came before that that would later become Udoiana Raunes 2 was Udoiana Raunes 1. So that's how the numbering works. Also, I get the feeling they got a lot of feedback with people complaining about the copier puzzle.
Should I bring you something to eat?
Yes, please. I take a Quarter Pounder WITHOUT cheese, a small coke and salty french fries, please. Please bring it fast, I don't know how long I withstand here.
Is this going to be a thing we actually have to do or just a joke? You might as well just flip a coin with this game!
Should I take you down?
No! Please bring together the three men behind the movie: Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.
Where will I find them?
You should find Harrison at his ranch in Wyoming. Steven may prepare his new movie in Wroclaw, Poland. George is definitely at his home, the Skywalker ranch. Only if you can bring them together, and convince them to start production of Indy4 I'll come down!
This is extortion!
We have our quest! And just like in the first game, we start without a fucking clue on what to do, and it just so turns out that we stumble head-first into something to do. Now, let's talk to the frog king thing.
>Talk to Frog King
Creature, who are you?
I'm a king, enchanted by the witch of Luxembourg. Now I'm just a frog with a crown waiting for the kiss of my princess. Only if this happens will I turn back into my proper shape. Quooaak!
Stop waiting. We have 2005.
Fairy tales are timeless. Quooaak!
Where will I find your princess?
You'll find her in the deserts north of Aquaba. She's a muslim woman. And she doesn't know she's my princess. You have to convert her and bring her to this place.
No, but without jokes like that I would die here. Quaaahaaahaaak!
OK, I have to admit, I chuckled at that one.
What would happen, if I'd kiss you?
You can't imagine what would happen! I can't tell you. Don't do it, please. Quooaak!
And cleaning up the previous part:
Are you responsible for this game?
This game! Udoiana Raunes 3.
I don't understand you. Quooaak! If you want to play games, play them. I am living here.
Ok, as you wish, let's talk frogish! Quooaak!
Now, when we talk to the frog king again - let's pick the first option:
Quooaaaak who are Quak
I'm a Quoak Quooaaaak by the Quoak of Quooaaaaak Now I'm Quak a Quak Quak a Quoak Quooaak for the Quak of my Quooaaaak Quak if Quak Quooaak I Quak Quak Quak Quak my Quooak Quooak Quooaaak
Quak Quooaaak We Quak Quoak
Quoak Quoak are Quooaaaak Quooaaak
My head hurts. Apparently, frogish does not employ punctuation. If we want to undo that, we just pick that dialogue option again:
Ok, let's stop talking frogish. Quooaak!
Will we have to bring the frog king his princess? Will we have to do something really dumb, like tear his eyes out or something equally stupid? Who knows! Anything goes with this game! Now, here's something interesting I noticed. Since the guy that's currently in the process of hanging himself very slowly swings around, I accidentally missed him when I wanted to talk to him.
>Talk to Schwarzwald
And suddenly Raunes starts yodeling! So that means we can also talk to things that you can't actually talk to sometimes. I try it out a whole bunch, but only one gets a different response than the default "can't talk to that":
>Talk to trump
...wait. So that was intentional in a way? Or was it a translation mistake? How do you get from stump to trump and consider that to be correct? That's strange. Anyway, we're just about done here, but let's fiddle around with our items a bit.
It's too strong to break it.
I try using it against the "trump" and the rock, but to no avail. Maybe the whip?
I can't use it. It's just decoration. I'm Udy, not Indy, didn't you know?
This happens regardless of what you want to use the whip with, it just cancels whatever you want to do. Now, that's just about all we can do here, so let's head out. There's a way to the airport over on the right side now that we've gotten our quest.
>Go to airport
Map screen music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4Po3trovoI
We've got some options here, we could go to Poland, Wyoming, or California. Join me next time, as we'll take a look at one or two of those locations.
Extra fun time activities!
Here's something fun for you to try. I missed two items in that previous area. Where are they?
Here's another fun thing: Try to guess just how many entirely useless inventory items we'll have in this game. The last game went pretty wild with them at a point, will this one be more temperate?
And one more fun thing: Try to work out how many things we could potentially be tasked to do from the things said to us in this update are actually things we have to do. The answer may surprise you!