Part 56: A Brief Smith Restrospective
A Brief Smith Restrospective
So who was this Smith the Horse we were talking about? In lieu of an update because I'm busy, here's a quick rundown:
Smith is a talking horse who, to my knowledge, first appears in Paws in Ultima IV. I don't think he's in 1-3, but he might be. Anyway, Smith can in fact talk, and you can ask him various questions all you'd like. However, his conversation tree wasn't finished; he was supposed to offer you a clue as to how to beat the game, but he, well, didn't.
As mentioned before, the designers decided to run with this as a joke. Smith appeared at Iolo's in Ultima V, although for some reason I couldn't locate him. Here's what he had to say:
You see a strangely familiar horse.
"Hey... you look familiar, have we met?"
"It's me, Steve."
"Hello, Steve... you know what? I forgot to tell you something!"
"Oh? What is it?"
"Yeah... the answer... it was... INFINITY!"
"Steve, I already did that."
"Oh. I'm also here to ask you something."
"Lord British wanted me to ask you if you were enjoying this game? If you have any complaints, write to him at Origin. He would really like to know."
Smith is again at Iolo's place in Ultima VI:
You see a fine looking horse.
"Hello, my name is Smith, who are you?"
"It's Steve again, Smith."
"Oh, I had something important to tell you! I can't remember what it was, though..."
"Was it a clue?"
"Oh, that's right! You're the Warrior of Destiny, right? Well, when you go to rescue Lord British from the underworld, be sure to bring his sandalwood box with you!"
"We went to all this trouble just to hear this? We rescued Lord British from the underworld years ago!"
"Well, even if you didn't like my clue, it wouldn't kill you to say 'thank you.'"
"Um... thanks, Smith?"
"So what are you up to these days?"
"I eat Iolo's hay to keep it from piling up everywhere and making a mess."
Iolo winks at you. "And a fine job you do of it, too. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Hay is the greatest menace to the well being of Britannia. It takes constant vigilance to keep it from engulfing the entire realm. I've devoted my life to the task. It's a thankless job, but I am a determined horse. Hay, thou hath met thy nemesis, thy doom, and his name is Smith!"
"Have fun with that."
You see Iolo give Dupre a nudge in the ribs. "You owe me a drink," he says, grinning. He truns to you, "Sir Know-it-all here bet me that there was no such thing as a talking horse!"
"Now I've seen everything. I suppose we'll be inviting some ducks over for tea next."
Ultima VII & Serpent Isle
Smith returns in Ultima VII to spoil the plot of both this game and Martian Dreams; obviously, I don't want to reveal that right away. In Serpent Isle he appears in a dream sequence to warn you of the events of Ultima VII, which is perhaps his most timely attempt to date. Still a complete failure, but the poor bugger tried.
He doesn't appear at all in Pagan, I believe. He might return in Ascension, but I wouldn't recall that even if he did.