Part 6: Update VI - :words: (useful :words:, but still :words:)

Update VI - (useful , but still )



So, we finally made it to Düsterburg, and we're ready to rock with a full party. First item on the agenda - getting inside the town, because I'm pretty sure that bonehead won't let us in.



Good morning, good day or good evening - you're never quite sure in this place, after all! Where are you folks heading?
You again? I actually kind of hoped we were done with the riddles for good!
What? You know this guy?! Then tell him to stop japping and let us pass!
I think there's been a case of mistaken identity here, dear Libra. Your Grandy may have gotten around recently, but...
Alright, alright! I guess that's a different skeleton guy than the one I met before... but those guys just look so similar...
Ahem, could we get back to the matter at hand? I hate to interrupt, but...
Of course! Please excuse me!
I have no idea how you guys got here - this is the first time in twenty years anybody's shown up - but you are not allowed in!
1) Then we'll fight our way through! 2) Well, if you say so... 3) Let's negotiate!

This is an RPG - negotiation is always the answer!

It has to be boring, staying at your post all this time. All these years without company...
Oh, I can't complain, really. Every once in a while somebody comes by and brings me something to read. It's been a while, but the anticipation makes it even better!
Don't lie to me! I know you're terribly bored here and would love to do some riddles with us!
You know, I've given up on riddles years ago - I keep losing with those!
1) Then eat steel! 2) Then we'll leave.

Eh, no need to pick a fight here. Let's back off for now, there's got to be another way in.



Discretion is the better part of valor, isn't it, Grandy? However, that doesn't change that we still need to get into the town somehow!
I'll think of something, no worries!

And I've got just the idea - except that I've forgotten something.



So let's backtrack for a moment...



...and buy some more climbing equipment!



Then we head back...



...and make our own entrance!

I could use my grappling hook here to get up to the battlements!



And that we do. Now we're up on the battlements, and there's boneheads everywhere. Thankfully, they don't make a beeline for us, they just meander around, making it fairly easy to dodge them.



Fairly being the key word here - I still get caught by one guy that moves particularly fast.



So this is one of the guys we would have faced if we tried to fight our way through, although I think it's more than just one guy in that case.



He can hit like a fucking dump truck, and has party-wide attacking magic too. He's quite a pain to deal with.



However, thanks to Libra's and Dankwart's magic, he goes down with only Julie getting taken out.



And thanks to Dankwart's very healthy MP pool, everybody gets healed back into tip-top shape with ease.



The rest of the trip goes well, and we can then use a rope or another grappling hook to head back down. Good thing I brought another rope.



And that brings us into Düsterburg proper. The town is fairly large, so let's get a map up in here:



Now, the screens aren't properly aligned, but that's the fault of the map, not my editing (for instance, you can take a look at the left side, where the road doesn't fit properly, but the wall is perfect). Now, let's take a look around, because Dankwart has a lot to say while we explore the outdoor areas, starting with the guillotine right next to us.



By the gods! There are executions in Düsterburg! What happened to my city?

Well, we already knew that the city is under an ironfisted rule and the guard was made up of werewolves at one point. While horrible, executions aren't exactly surprising in this situation. Now, I want to take a look at that surprisingly ornate grave, but first, we need to change the screen.



The guard station! Used to be that the people here were responsible for upholding law and order, these days it's probably all about enforcing Wahnfried's will!

Eh, the guards are actually alright, all things considered, but we'll get to that later. Now, back to that grave:



A grave... seems to be a quite new one. The hole has only recently been filled up...
That's the only thing you're noticing? Take a look at the gravestone!
Holy smokes! This grave is over seven years old!
Digging in hallowed soil is the last thing I want to do, but... 1) Dig it up! This is no grave! 2) We'll let the dead rest.

I smell side quest - let's not get into that too quickly, now. First we continue exploring.



Good to see that the hospital is still standing! At least health care seems to be taken care of.

Now there's an oddball term I have never personally used in my life! A "Siechenhaus" is actually not a hospital, but somewhat of a precursor - it basically describes things such as leper colonies or pestilence houses that were not used for healing but for isolation. Dankwart's usage of that term is a bit odd, since I very much doubt having a pestilence house in the middle of the fucking town is good design. I presume the writer was simply trying to use some sort of old-timey term for hospital with little care for the actual usage of that term. Not that this place is a hospital, anyway, but that's something for later...



This is city hall! We should be careful! Surely Wahnfried has placed loyal followers into every position of power!

Making a mental note not to go there unless it truly seems necessary, then.



The northern gate is being guarded by a demon and his cronies! We don't have a chance against those guys, Grandy.

And while we did take out some demons earlier, this guy is a bit of a different caliber and will indeed wreck our shit. There has to be a different way to get out of town, anyway...



Ahh, the Polished Armor tavern! I drank the occasional beer or two here in my youth with my friends.

A tavern you say? Could it be the same we saw in the intro? Let's take a look inside:



Jackpot! And there's Laz and Rank, too! ...actually, I wonder just how much they've actually gotten done ever since we last saw them. I mean, it's at least been few days since then. Was Laz just at the bar getting shitfaced this entire time while slurring about "no, seriously, HE's going to come any day now *hic*" and the guards just let him be because he's clearly just rambling nonsense? Well, let's ask around. Standard RPG procedure - the tavern always has interesting people to talk to.



Elvys sometimes seems a bit cocky, and sometimes he's a bit too brash... but otherwise, he's a good guy.

Elvys? Elvys. Fucking Elvys. God damn. He's not dead, he just left the building and headed to Düsterburg. Let's talk to him, then.



Well, what kind of guy is this guy? May he introduce himself or may he return from whence he came!

And he's... Austrian? I think? The voice I've got in my head when reading his text definitely has a heavy Austrian accent, but I'm not sure whether that was intended or not, because I've never seen Austrian-accented German writing. For some reason the usage of addressing the person you're talking to as "he/she" instead of "you" in German is connected with Austrian in my head, although it could also be connected with Bavarian, now that I think about it. Doesn't help that I'm Bavarian myself. An apparently Austrian-accented musically-named character... were I more witty, I'd make a Falco joke, but as it stands, I'll just say that Wiener Blut is a really good song of his.

1) My name is Grandy. 2) What a sleazeball! 3) Pardon me, I didn't know I was interrupting...

Might as well introduce ourselves.

And your name is?
I am Elwydion Senkelfried, but he may simply call me Elwys.
But at the moment I am in a very promising conversation with this lady here, so if he may remove himself from the premises...
1) But it's important! 2) What a sleazeball! 3) Pardon me, then I'll leave.

Eh, screw him. Note that we could have very easily gotten into a fight with this guy, but there's no need for that. Instead, let's talk to more people.



Evenin', dude! What's happenin'?

Youth language is a tricky thing to translate.

1) I'll teach you some manners! 2) I'm Grandy... and you? 3) Nothing!

When in doubt, introduce oneself.

I'm Talex. I'm here with my brother Roncarlo. He's upstairs, where the turtle races are happening, and is once again betting all his money away! Our father doesn't like that at all, but what the hell, Roncarlo makes his own money. Let him spend it the way he wants to...

1) Regarding your brother... 2) Regarding the city... 3) Regarding this tavern...

Oh boy, we found one of the information NPCs, sweet. Let's go down the line.

What kind of guy is your brother, then?
Hey, he's some kind of hero! A wanderer and adventurer! He's been all over the place, to Königsberg and then some... Some day he's going to marry a princess, the way it belongs for a hero like him! But until then he's gambling away his dough at the turtle races.

You grew up here, right? Can you tell me something about Düsterburg?
It's pretty boring here, I can tell you that! Roncarlo told me that there's light and dark times of day in Königsberg... they call it day and night. It's always dark here, but soon I'll be going to Königsberg, too!

Can you tell me something about the guests here?
Of course, I know them all! That guy down there with the chick, that's Elvys - he's always hitting on girls like you wouldn't believe! I don't know the dwarf, he's not from here. He already seems pretty drunk. And the two at the bar, those are Rank and Lazalantin! They're always here together. My brother always says they're the heart and soul of Düsterburg. Don't ask me what he means by that...

I'll be taking another look around, then. See you!

Alright, that was a good bit of information, now let's continue with the next guy.



Greetings, I am Fulgor, son of Falgor. You seem to be new here...
Yeah, I just got here. Do you live here in Düsterburg?
No, I'm a visitor here myself - I came from Königsberg.
And what brings you here?
I ordered a set of armor and am waiting for it to be finished. The smithy here is known beyond borders in... certain circles.
Sounds interesting, Fulgor - can you tell me where I can find this person?
He has his store north-west from here. You can't miss it.
Thanks for the information, Fulgor, son of Falgor. I've still got some things to do here. Good... um... evening.

We'll have to make a mental note to ask for weapons in that shop, then. Now, let's ask out our two favorite revolutionaries.



Greetings, stranger! My name is Rank Degenhardt.
Hello - I'm new in this town. Could you help me?
If it doesn't take too long. You see, Lazalantin and I have something very important to discuss.
RANK!
... ...
Please excuse Rank, he always likes to act all mysterious and important. Of course we would be glad to help you.
Um, thanks, Lazalantin. 1) What were you just talking about? 2) How is life here in Düsterburg? 3) I didn't want to interrupt...

Well, they clearly were talking about their revolution, so let's ask them about that.

...
We were talking about the latest sports results. There's nothing much else happening in Düsterburg, you know.
Sports results? Which...
To be exact, we were talking about the turtle races that are held daily in this tavern!
Turtle races? Doesn't sound all that thrilling...
It isn't. But you can bet on them, and that's one of the few distractions in this town.
1) Sounds interesting... 2) Let's change the topic!

It seems obvious we're not getting anything out of these guys regarding their secret conversation, so we might as well get some hot betting tips.

You can win something? You must surely know something about that! Which turtle is the fastest?
Leonardo, no doubt about it!
Come off it! Donatello is a lot more agile than Leonardo!
Regardless, stay away from Leonardo! He's a total loser!
Thanks for the tip. 1) I'll be heading upstairs then. 2) One more question...

When the question is "ask an NPC a question or don't", the answer is always the former. Most of the time, at least.

How is life here in Düsterburg?
Well, it's rather boring, if you ask me... if you want to know more, ask Darion, the bartender.
I'll be taking another look around then, see you!



If you ask me, Grandy, those guys have something to hide...

You think? How could you possibly have gotten that idea? We've still got to talk to the bartender, though, so let's get that done.



Hello! It's rare to see a new face here! I'm Darion, and you are?
I'm Grandy and I'm new here. Can you tell me something about Düsterburg?
Of course, Grandy. Where should I start?
1) The history of this town 2) The guests in this tavern 3) The city in general

Down the line, once again.

Well, it wasn't always so dark here, you know. Twenty years ago, this was a happy little town. Back then, it was still named Falkenburg, and was ruled by Duke Dankwart. I was still a child back then. Nobody really knows what happened to the old duke. He just disappeared one day, and this new ruler took his place. Since then, a lot of things have changed. The new duke, Wahnfried, brought his own guard with him. Creatures of the night. To make their stay in Düsterburg more pleasant, he blocked out the sun. I have no idea how he did that, I'm no expert on these things... well, we had to change our ways then. You can surely tell that farming wasn't possible anymore.
1) How do you make ends meet? 2) Who runs this town?

Same procedure as every year, James.

Well, trade with the Eastern Marches completely stopped since those days. The access is guarded by a fearsome fighter! But we still have contact with the barony of Königsberg. They trade with us for the resources we can't get anymore, and we then process those goods further. Beyond that, we do a little bit of livestock breeding, but the constant darkness makes the animals aggressive.

Duke Wahnfried installed Deppert Drombusch as mayor. He's loyal to the duke.

"Deppert" is a colloquial term in southern German areas (Bavaria/Austria) meaning "stupid". A bit of an unfortunate name.

1) You aren't? 2) Go on.

Let's do some probing here - I detect the sound of dissent.

No, of course I am! Everybody loves serving the duke here, Grandy! The city guard is administrated by Tharand Al'Rhun. Although the mayor technically commands the guard, there's often trouble between the two.
Trouble? Why?
Well... umm... Tharand has his own mind. He's obviously loyal to the duke, but doesn't always share his opinion. In the beginning of his reign we didn't yet have our own guard - the duke brought his own "people".
His "own people"?
Werewolves, Grandy. But that didn't work for long. The beasts were simply too wild, and they attacked the population. There was almost an uprising! But the duke intervened and removed the werewolves. Just that that decision came a bit too late for some...

And now we loop back to the beginning, so let's ask about the guests here now.

You want to find a connection, eh? I can understand that... so, the two at the bar are Lazalantin and Rank. A bit secretive, the two, but they've got their heart in the right place. The young man with the lady back there... those two are Elvys and Natalia! Elvys is a sort of entertainer for the ladies here.

I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to take that last statement.

The young guy wandering around here is Talex Ti Paroli. He's usually here with his brother Roncarlo. Roncarlo is a welcome guest here, an adventurer right out of the book. You'll find him upstairs.

Roncarlo Ti Paroli. Now that's a name. Not that I'll be using it, because there's something else I'll be calling him.

I can't tell you a lot about the dwarf, you'll have to ask him yourself. His name is Fulgor... that's about all I know.

Finally, let's talk about the city in general.

There's not a lot to visit here. We've got a prison and a sanatorium that is known well beyond the borders of this town. For your daily shopping needs we have Torben and his wife Hanni - you'll find their store north-west of here. The travel options are quite limited right now. Without the permission of the mayor nobody can leave this town. Through the south gate, the only path leads to the Eastern Marches, and the path there is blocked anyway. Through the north gate you'll reach the castle of the duke and Königsberg.

Well, that was a lot to take in, although most of it was re-treading old ground. Now, it's time for turtle races!



There's quite a few people here, and they'll be mostly be staying here. Let's see what they've got to say:

I know he keeps losing, but I keep betting on Michelangelo... he's sooooo cute!
Donatello is the best!



I only came here from Königsberg because of the famous turtle races.

Remember her, she might be important some day.



Greetings, unknown travelers. I am Roncarlo Ti Paroli - hero and adventurer!

Why hello there, Alex.

For those not in the know: RPG Maker has a default main character, as such creation kits usually have. That main character is Alex, and he has the same sprite set and face set as Roncarlo here. Or should I say it in reverse? So because this guy is so obviously Alex, that's what I'm calling him. Plus, it's easier than Roncarlo. And to be quite honest, I'm not sure whether Roncarlo being Alex is intentional (read: A joke of some kind) or some kind of laziness.

Um... hello, Roncarlo. My name is Grandy, I'm just a traveller, but am hoping to become a hero some day.
Then you've certainly set yourself a high goal! The path of a hero is rocky and full of danger!
But a bunch of glory awaits you, as well as a ton of gold... and of course all the hearts of girls that beat for you!
You certainly seem to have gotten around quite a bit, Roncarlo. We could use somebody like you in our group!
I know that! But please not now - we can talk about that after the race!

Alright, then it's time to race.



Greetings. I've heard that the famous turtle races take place here.
You heard right! Do you want to bet?
What are the rules?
Well, they're the standard rules. We've got three turtles here - Michelangelo (blue), Leonardo (green) and Donatello (red)... You can bet 10, 100 or 1000 bucks on one of the turtles. If your turtle wins, you get double back! But if you bet on Michelangelo, you'll even get back quadruple! Do you want to bet on a turtle?

Yeah, sure, why not. The odds aren't great, though, so let's not go overboard. We bet ten bucks on Donatello.



The way the race works is that RPG Maker has a setting with which NPCs can walk randomly in certain directions. So these turtles just keep randomly walking left and right, and eventually one makes the goal. You can also tell that Michelangelo is slower than the others. If only we could do something about that...



Donatello has done it once again! Victory for Donatello!

And we get twenty bucks. Yay? But now that the race is over, let's talk to Alex again.



Hello! There you are again! How can Roncarlo Ti Paroli, hero and adventurer, help you out?
We just wanted to ask if you had some time to talk now?
I told you! When the races are over!

Ugh. Suffice it to say that the races never actually really end, so we've got to find something else to do.



Time to start exploring random houses!



Quite a few houses here are rather ratty. I think we can say Düsterburg has seen better days.



Hello, you young folks. My name is Magda. Can I help you somehow?

Say, you look a lot like the barkeeper. I wonder why?

Greetings, Magda. 1) What do you do here? 2) Tell me something about the city.

You know the score by now.

I live here with my three grandchildren. They lost their parents many years ago. In the beginning, we barely could make ends meet. But for a year now they've been training their turtles for the races in the tavern.
Don't you have anybody that could help you raise your grandchildren?
No, good sir. Since my husband disappeared in the sewers three years ago, I'm all alone.

I smell sidequest.

Tell me about your husband.
The poor Joini. He was the only sewer worker in the city, not exactly glorious work, but well-paid... but in the years before his disappearance his work kept getting more dangerous. Dark creatures began roaming the underground passages. One day he never came back from work... Since then nobody has ever visited the sewers. And I'm still waiting for news about my husband...
If we should learn something about him, we'll tell you, Magda.

And now, something about the city.

I haven't been outside in a long time. It's dangerous for an old lady such as myself... my grandchildren are mostly in the Polished Armor tavern when they're not training their turtles here. The youngest, Michel, still goes to Father Medarius' kindergarten. You'll find him one house on the left.

Then, let's take a look upstairs.



Onwards, Donatello! You've got to go faster!!!

Looks like they're training, and yet, when we go back to the tavern, they'll be right back. Magic.

Oh, hello. I'm Donna, and who are you? You look like a group of adventurers. I can tell you are because my crush is always hanging around with people such as you...
1) Of course we're adventurers... 2) Who is your crush? 3) What are you doing?

Wooo, more questions! Down the line, as usual.

And we've gotten around, let me tell you! And all those adventures we've had! Wow! I can tell you...
Come on Grandy, don't boast so much...
Oh come on, Libra, we did do a few heroic deeds...

Who else could it be but Roncarlo Ti Paroli! All girls are in love with him - he's soooooo cute! And he's a hero like in the fairy tales! He's always at the turtle races... and he always bets on Donatello! I'm sure it's because of me... *sigh*.
Of course...

I'm training Donatello for the next race! My brother Leo also trains the entire day, so I can't lag behind!
But there were two boys at the race...
Oh yeah, the other one is Michel, our little brother. But his turtle is terrible, it almost never wins. It's so slow that it's a bad influence on Leonardo and Donatello, so he has to train his over at the kindergarten.

Well, let's check upstairs, then.



Go, Leonardo! Your food's over there!

Hello, folks. May I introduce you to Leonardo, the fastest turtle in all of Düsterburg! And I'm Leo, his trainer. Can I help you somehow?
1) How do you become a turtle trainer? 2) Are there any tricks? 3) What's with Michelangelo?

Do you have to catch the turtles with some kind of special ball first?
No, we got the turtles as a Christmas present last year. The training was Donna's idea. We make good money with the races - before that, we barely had enough to eat. If we didn't train the turtles, they surely would have landed in the soup.
How terrible! The cute little turtles!

Admit it, you've got some sort of special method to get the turtles to deliver peak performances!
The most important part is hard work, but if you promise not to take part at the races, I can tell you a little secret.
I promise!
It's the food. You've got to pay attention what you feed the little ones!

Oh, he's just useless! My little brother Michel just doesn't have the stuff to be a trainer.

They sure seem to keep banging on about Michelangelo being terrible. We should pay him a visit.



Right next door, like they said.



Well, this certainly doesn't look like much of a step up. At least it's a bit more solid.



Greetings, my children. I feel that you come before me without any ill intent.
I am Father Medarius. How can I help you?
We need... 1) a priest. 2) some information.

The former option gives you the option of three different blessings you can receive. Apparently, only one slightly heals you and the others seem to do nothing. So let's go with the latter option.

We're new here in Düsterburg and would like some information.
I feel that you're here to bring this place peace once again. Speak freely.
Really tell the entire truth? Yes/No

You know what? I think we can trust this guy. Let's tell the truth.

We have come to depose the upstart Wahnfried and restore Dankwart Dengelbrack's title!
Oh my! I didn't feel you would go that far! But anyway... I will try to answer all your questions.
1) About Düsterburg... 2) About Duke Wahnfried... 3) About the church...

Can you tell us the things about Düsterburg that nobody else dares to tell?
Oh, oh, oh, there's plenty to say about that, because the town has fallen to evil ever since Wahnfried has taken over the rule. The streets aren't safe anymore! In the dark corners lurk thieves and murderers... but the worst of all is that all Düsterbürger have given up hope! Nobody dares to speak out against the Duke - his web of spies and servants is already too complex. Nobody? No, that's not quite right - a small group, whose name is not known to me, is planning a rebellion in secret.

About Wahnfried... 1) How can you defeat him? 2) How do you get through the north gate?

The duke can not be killed in regular combat - you can defeat him, but not kill him... he will always retreat to his resting place, regenerate and attack you once again! Only at his resting place can you destroy him. However, for that you need a stake freshly carved from an ash tree. This stake must be driven through his heart and it must also have been blessed by a priest...
Another way would be to find his resting place and seal it.
But how to achieve that is beyond my knowledge. The third way: The duke is a creature of the dark - open sunlight destroys him!
But the sun has been blocked out for years... another act of that fiend!

The north gate is heavily guarded! One of the strongest servants of the duke has the command of that post. In the past years there were some courageous adventurers that tried to defeat the guards...
But they didn't have a chance...
Another way would be to get a license for travel from the mayor. This license is usually only given to travellers to Königsberg... sometimes it's also given to travelling merchants.

You are a priest, but this place doesn't look like a church...
One of the first acts of the new duke was to burn the old church to the ground...
But he didn't dare to forbid religion itself, knowing that the faithful would revolt against him. But if he knew that we convene for service every holiday, then that would certainly be my end...

...well, that was certainly a lot of information, a lot of it new, in fact. We now know that Wahnfried subscribes to the standard movie vampire format as opposed to, say, the World of Darkness format, which is great for those trying to kill him. We also know that exiting the town is going to be harder than expected and that religion is in a really bad spot. Let's take a look upstairs next.



At least somebody seems to be having some fun in this godforsaken town.



May the gods be with you. How can I help you?
Umm, it looks like you've already got your hands full with those little rascals, so we don't want to bother you further.

Let's head further upstairs then.



Please, Michelangelo. Just a little bit faster...



Hello, people! My name is Michel. And this is my friend Michelangelo! He's a racing turtle and I'm his trainer!
1) Are you successful? 2) Do you need some sort of help?

No, not really. Michelangelo always has sore feet and doesn't run so fast... that's why he almost never wins at the races, even though he's much cuter than Donatello or Leonardo...

If you could make Michelangelo run faster, that would be really great!
Do you have some sort of idea how we could do that?
No, sadly not. My siblings have some sort of trick, but of course they won't tell me.
Hmm... I'll see what I can do.
Really?! That would be really nice of you!

Well, we already know that the food is the trick, now we just need to find something special.



But for now, we've got another house to visit, because we're not quite done with having people tell us their life stories just yet.



By the gods! Can it be? Berta, look!
What is it, Rüdiger?

I can't believe it! Rüdiger! It's Sir Dankwart!
Rüdiger... Berta! You're still alive - thank the gods!

Allow me to introduce: That are Rüdiger and Berta, who used to be my servants.
And here are Grandy and Libra, whom I have to thank for returning to you. But tell me how you have been faring? Can you make ends meet?
It could be better, Sir Dankwart. Times are hard for those that used to be loyal to you. We have to split this house with the family Ti Paroli, which is just as poor as we are.
Oh Rüdiger, quit complaining! Please, Sir Dankwart, tell us how you've been faring!
Of course! You still remember the night my beloved Doria went missing...
Ahem... pardon me, Dankwart, but we already know the story. If you'll allow, we'll take a look around the house.
Of course, Grandy! How impolite of me!

So then, let's take a look upstairs.



And up here, we find the standard RPG Maker old man - somehow, that's rather fitting.

Roncarlo, my son... is that you?
1) Yes, father, it's me! 2) No.

Not sure what being dishonest does for us here - we stay honest.

Umm... no, my name is Grandy.
Oh, excuse me, Grandy. I'm an old man and my eyes aren't what they used to be.
Roncarlo doesn't even drop by anymore, that useless sod! He's either roaming the duchy in the search of adventures, or he's wasting his time in the Polished Armor, where he wastes his money on the turtle races! He doesn't even think about his brother and father... that barely have enough to eat.

Wow, Alex is kind of a dick.

1) I'll be leaving, then. 2) Allow me to help you...

Of course we're going to help!

1) Here, have 100 bucks. 2) Here, have 10 bucks.

Come on, now, no being stingy here! It's got to be the most we can give!

You're too generous, Grandy! Although my honor wouldn't allow me to accept charity, the hunger forces me to accept your money.
If I see your son, I'll tell him to drop by.

Well, that's all we can do here... let's see if Dankwart is done with his story.

Ah, you're back! Rüdiger and Berta have told me of the state of affairs here in Düsterburg.
Everywhere there's poverty and starvation, but the population is too afraid to revolt!
They're so scared that they don't even dare to openly criticize the regime!
But there's supposed to be a group of young people in the underground that are preparing a revolution.
Sadly, Rüdiger and Berta have no idea who those people are. We have to find these people!

I must leave now, my friends. Please allow me to give you 500 bucks from our travelling money!
Umm...
You better shut up now, Grandy!
Sir Dankwart, we can't possibly accept this...
Fiddlesticks! You men and your honor! You know how much we need this money! Many thanks, Sir Dankwart. We're just an old married couple, but if we could help you in any way...
Thank you, Berta. I appreciate your offer, but I don't want to drag you into danger. Fare well, and keep an eye out!



Six hundred bucks lighter, it's time to go and visit the shop.



The shop actually seems rather well off, all things considered.



Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Torben Ballfuß. How can I help you?
We need... 1) information! 2) regular wares! 3) weapons!

Information first, as much as my fingers wish there wasn't more of this.

And about what, if I may ask?
Düsterburg and the surrounding area.
Oh, well, there's not much to talk about. This is a quiet, peaceful town like many other...
1) "Peaceful town"? 2) "Like many other"? 3) And what about the duke?

And what about those boneheads patrolling the walls? Do they look peaceful to you?
They're actually rather affable... even culturally interested. Every once in a while some of them drop in to get some reading material.

Well, did you ever take a look outside? That's not normal - a 20 year long solar eclipse!
Isn't it wonderful? It's even rather spectacular! And the best thing is that my sales of self-tanner have multiplied by ten!

And the duke? I heard that he's a pretty dark fellow.
Well, you're doing him wrong with that! You shouldn't judge a human... person by their eating and sleeping habits.

Hm, this guy seems rather optimistic about the whole thing. As if he's got something to hide. At this point, I switch off my brain and forget to ask the guy about weapons, knowing that he won't sell them to me, and backtrack to the tavern to ask the dwarf about it.



However, while we're there, we catch Laz without Rank and get the opportunity to talk to him.

Hello, Grandy. You look so befuddled... can I help you?
I would like some information... 1) about the town. 2) about the resistance. 3) about your haircut.

I feel kind of bare, do you know a place where you can get weapons and armor?
Weapons and armor? No, sorry, you can't get that here.

I've heard there are some people that are conspiring against the duke. Do you know something about them?
A resistance? Why would you be interested in that?
1) I want to join them! 2) I want to turn them in! 3) Just wondering...

Eh, probably not best to openly announce that, even though we just did that with the priest. I think the response is the same, regardless.

Sorry, but I haven't seen any resistance...

Did a barber cut that for you? And that blue... that's got to be dyed, right?
That's a natural blue. As for the cut, that's achieved through accentuated neglect!
That was actually just a joke. I'll be off, then.



After talking to the dwarf about a dozen times and rechecking the FAQ, I finally remembered what I did wrong, and now we're here to ask about weapons.

Weapons? Sorry, but the sale of weapons has been forbidden by the duke!
But I heard from a dwarf named Fulgor that he ordered some armor here...
You must have heard wrong, unless...
...yes?...
No, definitely not! There are no weapons here!



And now we're back to the dwarf.

Hello again, my friends! How's it going?
Not so good. I went to the store you mentioned, but they told me they didn't sell any weapons.
Well, not to anybody that just comes in from the street! Special clients know the password.
A password - you didn't mention a password!
Well, I didn't know how serious you were. Now just one more thing...
What do you want?
Nothing special, just a little gift from your side - you see, my throat's all dried up from all the talking... a little beer would be great right about now!
All right, Fulgor, I'll get you a beer.



And a beer we get for four bucks.

Did you bring me my beer?
Of course, Fulgor! Here, take a drink!
Ah, thanks, you've been so good to me! That was great. Now on to business: You've got to tell the merchant the password before he'll let you have some weapons!
And the password is?
"Bacon rind"!
"Bacon rind"?
Exactly! Don't look at me like that, I didn't pick it.
It's alright, Fulgor. Thanks again, and fare well!



So now, let's get some damn weapons.

Weapons? Sorry, but the sale of weapons has been forbidden by the duke!
Well, well, seems like the duke figured out that you can't earn enough money for a single bacon rind with weapons...
Well, if the duke isn't mistaken! Just head around the counter and go down the ladder. My son will take care of the rest.



Oh hey, it's Rank! Now that's a surprise.



You're the son of the shopkeeper?
You've got a problem with that? I'd even look a lot like him if I dressed like he did.

Which brings up the question why Rank's last name doesn't match his dad's. Either he adopted some sort of code name (likely) or he got married and adopted his wife's name (unlikely). I just can't see a guy like that settling down. Anyway, let's check out his wares!



Jesus fucking Christ that's expensive. We're going to need a lot more money if we want to get decked out here.



However, we do pick up a few bottles of holy water - never know when you can use something like that.



Also, we pick up a few things in the general store - a lantern (which is bound to come in handy) and a magazine.

Bonecrack Magazine - A smut magazine with pictures of exposed skeletons.

...ah, right... reading material . I get it now. Well, we might as well give that bonehead what he wants.



Same procedure as last time, only this time we can offer him the magazine instead of giving up.

Yes, that's exactly why we're here. We want to give you this educational magazine as proof we should be allowed to pass.
Hey, that's the latest edition! Great! Then I've got my preoccupation for the next months! You may pass!

And now we could easily go back to the Eastern Marches if we needed to. But that's not where we want to go right now. Instead, we need some money to buy those weapons and armor, and I know where to get it.



First we need to get a beer and drink it.



Ah, that was refreshing!

That gives us an empty mug.



Next step, this fountain.

A fountain! I am really thirsty, but the water looks so brackish...
Still drink it? Yes/No

Drink that shit! For science!

UGH! That tastes terrible!



And then Grandy proceeds to blitz around the area with super speed for a bit.

Wow! That's some potent stuff. Maybe I should take some of that with me, you never know... I'll fill some of it into my empty mug!

And with that mug in hand...



Hello, there you are again.
I have this mug with special turtle food! When I mix this into Michelangelo's food, he'll be faster than greased lightning.
REALLY? You'd do that? Please, please, please do!

And mix it in we do. And you can instantly see an improvement. Now, even though Michelangelo is now faster than the other turtles, the odds at the races stay the same...



...so if you'll excuse me...



...I'm off to make some fucking bank.

Next time: We use all this money to buy some sweet stuff, take a trip to the nuthouse, take a trip to the slammer, and then take a trip to the past.