Part 20: "There are no items of note." - Story

Update 16 (Story): "There are no items of note."

Music: Spring in Lanseal



Huh. That's a new one.

Anyways, welcome back to Final Valkyria: Crystal Chronicles where we watch anime teens do anime things while they fight a racist war.

TITLES EARNED:
- Destroyers
- Hunters



There's a story event, but I'll probably put it off for a while as we do missions. We'll start the day with this daily event.

--

Music: Everyday Life of the Class



: My brains aren't gonna keep the squad alive, so I'd better train my body!

Yes, your glorious -10 from last time told us as much.

*He runs off.*







: Is that all? I've done my sixteenth already.

Guys, you're not going to beat each other. You're both unpromoted shocktroopers.






*The school bell rings.*


*Cosette laughs in the background.*

: This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't made it a competition.
: What?! You're the one who came chasing after me!

Again, this is our protagonist, folks.




---
Yep, that was an event. Not much to say about it, aside from reminding us that this is a military school.


We're not going to the combat section just yet, especially since all I'm doing is grinding the last mission we did until I get the item I actually want.

I leveled up engineers for some reason, probably because they were cheap, and I put another into trooper.


*One Mission later*



One mission later, I've got the item I was looking for!



Here's our original cannon, for comparison.


Here's the new one.

It's essentially double in power and effectively deletes anything wearing armor, and personnel units are also one-shotted by this thing. The captured gatling is a beast- it'll out power a fully upgraded ragnite rail cannon. It lacks a mortar, but I don't need those anyways.

There's two more of these captured turrets we can get, and they're both straight upgrades. Lavinia's one step of the way to becoming unstoppable now, and we'll reach that stage starting next month, I think.

For now, I resume your regularly scheduled story moments:

----------

~* Gymnasium - Daily Event *~



: Ooh, I still have that raisin bread I bought in my locker.


: Were you hiding in my pocket again?
: You always did like to hole up in pockets, didn't you, little guy?
: The first time we met was when you stowed away in Leon's jacket...

My dog would do the same. Though he's too big to fit in a pocket, so he really just takes the whole coat.

We were also told this already. Why did we need to know this again?



*Jarde tweets in return.*

: Uh, what was that?
: Hey, you look even rounder than usual. You didn't...? You wouldn't!


: You little vulture! All right, the menu has now changed to poultry!

*Jarde flies off in a hurry.*


Yep, just wacky hijinks. Though, it is fun to see Avan get outsmarted by a bird.


~* Rooftop - Anisette's First Event *~

: Mm? Is somebody else up here?


: Your little angel is setting sail for heaven...



: Waugh! Don't do anything stupid! Let's talk this out, man!


*He tackles her*


: Just calm down a minute and tell me what happened, would you? C'mon!

Music: Faint Youth


: She is? Why is that a bad thing?
: It wouldn't be, if this were just a social call.


: Oh, right, your... what?
: She and I took an oath to become idols together.
: But my natural clumsiness has made all progress in dancing impossible!

:facepalm: Yes, that's what this is about. Is this supposed to be funny? Because it's not.



: ...Your little sister is already headlining every academy event.
: That every night of my campus concert series was sold out...*sniff*




: Would you stop that?! You jumping won't do anything but make a huge mess!
: Hey! Why don't you do like I do and cram? Like for a test!
: *Sniff*... Cram?


: We can have you dancing like a pro by the time she gets here!
: This is totally gonna work! And I'll help out in any way I can. Sound good?


I'm glad something does, because this doesn't.


: Uh, well, I don't...
: Then I take back what I said about this making sense.



If that's your reaction to lying to your older sibling for attention, you might want to go see someone.

I don't really like this scene at all, and the game's inability to hold a tone for more than two lines really hurts it here. At least Avan was being nice again for once.


~* Hallway - Chloe's First Event *~

Music: Everyday Life of the Class



: It took top honors at a national concourse. It's probably here on loan.
: Apparently she was the army's artist in residence during the last war.
: Artist in a what? And wait, Chloe's a painter?

Everything she says on the battlefield is paint related, dude. Get with the program.


: Work like that is often commisioned to justify a war to the people.
: So it's like propaganda? Huh, I... Ack!
: This talk of painting made me remember I left my bag in the art room!






The story dictates it, yes. Avan needs to be told a lot of things.

: Yeesh, I was just asking. You don't need to jump down my throat about it!
: I see no need to censor myself just to give you a better impression.


: Would you not invade my space and steal glances at my canvas? It's vexing.
: I've never called myself a painter once. I just paint. That's all.
: Well, I saw your painting! Pretty impressive, being hung here at Lanseal!


: What do you mean, "forced you"?
: I was dragged into combat and forced to paint that horror day after day.
: Then they say I'm some kind of genius? I can't think of emptier praise.

War scene painting has to be one of the worst jobs, especially with the government hanging over your head. That's not even mentioning the constant threat of being attacked.


Avan is hopelessly clueless, as ever.

: Hmph. That just tells me you have poor taste.
: Now, come on! Isn't that a little harsh on a guy paying you a compliment.
: And you think everyone will always be thrilled at your compliments?
: If so, you're worse than tasteless. You're an incurable fool.


: I seriously doubt you could ever understand my work.
: As a footnote, I can't say as I would WANT you to, either.
: Now, leave me be. I doubt I'll get any work done with you around.





Avan is right about something for once, she's definitely being a jerk. I can sympathize with Chloe in this case because I understand what it's like for your creations to feel hollow, but you don't need to act like that all the time.

I'm a jerk most of the time, but I can at least tone it back.

---



Cripes, it's just story all the way down, isn't it? Fine, let's just go ahead and do this one too. This'll probably mean it's going to be the whole update.



----


: That's their only stated demand.


: The Gallian Army still hasn't fully recovered from war with the Empire.
: They're stretched thin between border defense and now this civil war.

Wait, did I miss something? When was the military even helping? I thought we were outright told we were the only people holding back the rebellion?

I mean, I'm not complaining, this makes more sense.


: The Militia can only be used to defend Gallia from an invasion, Avan.
: It's illegal to use draft troops to fight in a civil war. We learned that!
: Uh, we did? I mean, I knew that!
: Well, I guess that just means we really need to pull our weight, huh?
: Right. The folks living here in the south are depending on us!


: Right. My dad was one, and I've dreamed of it since I was little.
: I was planning on going to medical school, but, um...


: Wow. I'm sorry, Cosette.

Yep, she's a war orphan. It's even more common for JRPG protagonists as a background than "searching for missing relatives", but I still think she's more interesting than Avan despite what little we've seen of her.


: That, and I couldn't stand the thought of losing anyone else to the war.
: I wanted to do my part to end it, however small. That's why I enlisted.

Still more interesting and sensible than Avan's reason. Notably, she's here for an actual reason, not a terribly executed plan with no forethought given to it. Seriously, Avan, you could've just kept sneaking around the campus looking for information as a wannabe private investigator, enrollment or not. This would've been a rather interesting mystery plot if you did.

I don't mean to bash Avan constantly on this point, but I've already tried taking a neutral stance on this. That stance ended about 5 updates in thanks to this nonsense writing, and now I'm very salty regarding it.


: I hope so! Thanks, Avan.

*Comment excised to prevent continuous statements of frustration towards Avan.*


: ...Yes. It's something I need to do.
: I'm here at Lanseal to make sure that it happens.
: Nice, man. So, what's the goal?


Ah, yes. The stereotypically edgy answer. Thanks, Zeri, for nearly lacking any character development at all so far.

: Ugh, how did I know that was coming?


GAME: HEY DO YOU REMEMBER LEON HE WAS AWESOME YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT


This response is incredibly dumb, and is unfortunately a very serious reply from Avan.

What makes you even think the mission is still active? You've been told your brother died on that mission, do you have a death wish? What makes you think you'll even get assigned when you're this terrible of a student?

I swear *Comment excised because constantly bashing Avan goes nowhere*.


: That's quite the brother complex you're nursing.
: Well, I guess all three of us better work hard if we want our wishes granted!
: Right!


I think I pretty much explained what I think of the main plot by now, so apologies for all the sodium chloride.

...*Comment excised to avoid complaining about Avan again*.