Part 2: Interview with Dash Rendar
Okay, I'm ready.What do I do, press this button?
It's already recording, just start the interview!
I can start?
Yes!
Hello, and welcome back to LPFWA Backstage! I'm your host Leebo and I'm not being paid to do this!
*ahem*
Right, and with me now is LPFWA Superstar, Dash Rendar. Let's talk about your most recent match-ups, Dash.
Nothing to it. You know me, I'm so good at what I do. Set'em up, I'll knock'em down.
Right, well, your last match with Galen Marek you actually lost.
No, no, no. You misunderstand. It's a common mistake. That wasn't a match, but a test. You see, I saw something in Galen. I looked into his eyes, his beautiful eyes. Have you looked into his eyes?
I admit that I haven't.
Beautiful eyes. I looked into them. And do you know what I saw?
What?
(Ask me what I saw)
What did you see?
I saw myself.
Oh.
I looked into Galen's eyes and I saw myself. Reflected back in his big beautiful eyes was my own image. Handsome. Daring. Dashing. I saw me, Dash Rendar. What a glorious sight to behold. I tell you what, Leebo, Galen Marek has potential. He proved it to me during that test. He proved to me that he can become the best. He proved to me that he can become the next Dash Rendar.
I thought he was still working for Palpy?
Ah, screw that old space wizard. I'm done talking about him. Hey, did you see my last match up with Face?
Yes, it certainly was an exciting match. It was nice seeing you get involved. For once. Under threat of a legal contract. I'm sure Face appreciated that. It looked like a hard fight. There were a few moments where I was sure Kalon Zombie had you dead to rights.
I see you're making another common error, Leebo, ol'buddy. You see, whenever I'm in a match the outcome is already decided: I am the winner. The exciting part is never "will Dash win?" That is to be expected. The exciting part in any match I am involved in is whether or not I will decide to be gracious enough to let the other wrestlers win.
Uh.
I know, right?