The Let's Play Archive
Part 3: Let's Provide Freaks Wrestling Anywhere
LPFWA 2k18 Episode 3 - Let's Provide Freaks Wrestling Anywhere (Twitch VOD)
The Match Card:
IGgy IGsen posted:
Match Card for hopefully this Saturday
#1 Buscus Brawl
Lotus Aura (c) vs. Dash Rendar
#2 Conspiracy theories or something
AnilEhilated vs. Woolsey Smythe
#3 Bunny Championship :3
The Masked Man vs. The Majestic Goat-Man (c)
#4 NBD FEMALE TAG GET IN THE RING BOYS JK ITS GIRLS HAHA
DivineCoffeeBinge and Valerie Easton vs. Rara and Lady of the Lancet
#5 LP Superstar Title Match
Dr. Ham vs. Thundercat Chris Pine (c)
#6 Number 1 Contender Match for LPFWA Championship
Toad vs. Emperor Palpatine
#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
LPFWA vs. The Universe
With Asuka defeated we need to vote on a new opponent, as well as challengers. If a Tag team or Trio is elected as opponents the our Top 3 will be going up against them.
Before the show...
DivineCoffeeBinge posted:
See, I knew if I suggested tag teams IGgy would go for it, because we have enough girls on the roster now that he wants to get a bunch of us on the show without needing to use twelve match slots.
My plan is foolproof!
I better make sure I have enough energy out there, though, so I don't get outshined in the match! Better have more coffee!
Jaguars! posted:
So... we are enemies now! Know that I will bring to the ring the precision of ten years as a surgeon and neuropathologist, the petty malice of 15 years of medical academia and the concussion knowledge of countless head trauma research projects!~
Er, can I please get a Turkish brew thrice boiled with a pinch of salt. And a Blueberry muffin.
Rather Watch Them posted:
I've been brewing something very special for our next match. It's a... hold on, it's somewhere in my notes.
Val opens her locker, revealing a few sketches of bunnies--of the photo-realistic persuasion--and a comp book with two crude anime drawings: a young man with feathered black hair, and a young woman with blue hair and wrist warmers. From this hodgepodge of notes, she produces an aged slip of notebook paper.
I hope you'll forgive the mess. I had to dig into the (shudders) archives. Anyway, it's a potion that, when ingested, causes the subject to become an orphan at a young age, left with only the vampire cult to raise him--Son of a--
Val flips the paper over.
Titanic strength. The strength of a thousand able-bodied people! There, that's the big reveal. I'll be stronger. And maybe I'll slip some in my partner's coffee if I feel charitable.
Jaguars! posted:
Pah! Mere pseudoscience. My beautifully tuned Brachioradials shall disprove these claims!
Defiance Industries posted:
Being LP Superstar Champion is the biggest honor in my career since I accepted the iconic role of Captain Kirk in J.J.'s Star Trek reboot. Great guy, phenomenal film, wonderful experience. The cast and I, we've become great friends.
But in that film, I played a young and hot-headed, but talented officer who had to contend with a powerful enemy who carried a dangerous vendetta. In LPFWA, I will be showing off my natural athleticism in a sport that I love.
Also I'm a man-cat, but that's not all there is to me.
Pyroi posted:
After the INJUSTICE I faced in the previous match...this time, I will not only DESTROY my opponent...I will get...what's the belt?
Yes...yes...what?
It's a bunny?
I NEED IT NOW. I MUST HAVE THE BUN.
Zanzibar Ham posted:
*looking at an x-ray of 'Thundercat' Chris Pine's spine* "Hmm, okay, I'll need more time for an accurate diagnosis, however I believe I can say this man is suffering from some kind o-wait, what? It's a cat?!"
"... oh, oh, a cat-man! See, I was half right! Please, don't scare me like that!" *stares apprehensively at his LPFWAU chiropractic degree on the wall*
VolticSurge posted:
I have heard about your upcoming battle with a mushroom, Lord Sidious. If you require me to lend my...assistance, give the order Master and it shall be done. With power as mighty as yours, this is gonna be more violent than Yang VS Adam in the Volume 3 finale! Which, BTW, is one of my favorite fights in RWBY. I need to lend you my Blu-Rays one of these days so you can experience it for yourself.
Oh, FN-2187 just arrived with the snacks. Which means Face is gonna be here soon! Sorry I can't talk more, Master. I'm not used to this kind of social interaction team-building exercise.
anilEhilated posted:
: ...Where did you get those ears?!
The results... posted:
Scene: IGgy tells Lotus stuff that's probably all bullshit, I dunno. But he tries to get Lotus fired up for the match against Dash.
#1 Buscus Brawl
Lotus Aura (c) vs. Dash Rendar
Lotus gets most of the offense in but Dash wins by countout
#2 Conspiracy theories or something
anilEhilated vs. Woolsey Smythe
anil blows up a ghost
#3 Bunny Championship :3
The Masked Man vs. The Majestic Goat-Man (c)
Goat-Man won by pinfall, but holy crap, it took multiple MGMs outta nowhere and a superkick in mid-air to take The Masked Man out.
#4 NBD FEMALE TAG GET IN THE RING BOYS JK ITS GIRLS HAHA
DivineCoffeeBinge and Valerie Easton vs. Rara and Lady of the Lancet
Val puts the Kiss of Death on Rara and pins her. This is also DCBs first ever victory. But clearly, it doesn't count if it's not a singles match
Scene: Konami Kouda is about to destroy Black's Title but then Jumpy-Chan makes a shock return, challenging Konami for Black's Title, also putting her Ultimate Gokuweight title on the line to unify the belts next week at Anime Showdown!
#5 LP Superstar Title Match
Dr. Ham vs. Thundercat Chris Pine (c)
Two count-out victories in one show? Thundercat wins dishonorably
#6 Number 1 Contender Match for LPFWA Championship
Toad vs. Emperor Palpatine
Toad defeats Emperor Palpatine in a hard-fought match. They exchanged F-U-2s and Imperial Powerbombs. Palpy didn't whip out the Galactic Elbow, though.
Scnene: LPFWA champion, Nuffkins, appears after the match to challenge The #1 Contender, Toad for his clothing in addition to it being a title match.
#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
A tree vs. Roman Reigns
Wow, that was a long match. But all that happens when a dog pisses against a tree is that the tree falls down on the dog and ouch. A tree wins.
IGgy IGsen posted:
Well, that's a rap.
*wrap
*reasdkf
Well, anyway. I got through this show solo
Good matches.
You wouldn't believe me if I told you that LPFWA are the only times I really get drunk.
Plus I never had hangover.
i got chokeslammed thorugh wa wiskyhlek
i8 llove u
well, I got chokeslammed through cinammon shots.
But that doesn't quite have that same ring to it.
Man, I'm gonna eat some pringles now.
I think I have to make my self some spring rolls now
Because I don't have an entire fucking salami to powre thorugh
And it might have been stupid but I just took a piss and decided to hop on one leg back to my chair
I didn't fall
That means I'm superior to you.
Look at my works ye mighty.
and despair.
I drank three quarters of a bottle of Dos Mas.
And I can still hop on one leg to my chair.
What's your excuse?
So, I put the bottle back in the fridge and found a few beers.
So that's what I'll drink now.
I donJ't even like beer. But I have it so it's gotta go.
Man, I feel like making some ravioli, now.
Gosh, I can't believe the stupid shit my 2017 self would do... What a damn moron
Can't wait till we're back on earth and I get access to alcohol again instead of these damn razorblades.
Zanzibar Ham posted:
*lying on the patient's bed in Goldberg'shis clinic, a bag of ice pressed to his head* "And to think, Cats is my favorite musical... Which has nothing to do with the fact it's the only musical I've seen..."
Defiance Industries posted:
Uh, excuse me? Why is it only about cats with you? Don't you have anything to say about my movie career? I was in Wonder Woman, dammit! That tunnel vision is why I'm still LP Superstar champion and you're not!
Zanzibar Ham posted:
"I don't watch the 'MCU'-" (*GASP*) "-movies, as I believe they're called. To be frank, your cat-itude is the most notable thing about you."
Defiance Industries posted:
You didn't see Hell or High Water? We got nominated for Best Picture and I got to meet Jeff Bridges! I'm gonna have him sign my belt next time I run into that dude.
Zanzibar Ham posted:
"Feel free to faff about with your friends, I've got work to do and people to save."
DivineCoffeeBinge posted:
I think we have clearly demonstrated that Ladies Tag Matches are awesome, and so there should be Ladies Tag Team Belts. 
Except if we do that I might never get a singles win. Hmm.
Ah well, I am sure IGgy will do whatever is good for the business once he sobers up! You know what helps you sober up, IGgy? COFFEE!
EDIT: Also I love how the AI making dumb decisions and having a character just run around wherever and taunting at inappropriate times is actually just perfect for DCB, whose hyperosity can always just be explained away by the caffeine rush
DivineCoffeeBinge posted:
P.S. HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THIS FEELING OF NOT BEING DEAD WHEN THE BELL RINGS WOW IT IS AWESOME
Rather Watch Them posted:
That's the feeling of deep magic. I'm very happy that I could allow you to experience winning. That rascally rabbit may have landed more than her fair share of hits, but my potion worked marvelously. You see what a little "teamwork" can do? Just you, me, and the strength of a thousand people.
Lady, I have a feeling you and I are more in tune than we might think (and I'm not just talking color scheme). After all, not many people can face Hurricane Val in all her potion-enhanced glory. We should discuss philosophy sometime. Maybe over... coffee?
Val returns to her locker. Tucked inside is a folded coffee sleeve with something resembling her name written on it in black marker.
VolticSurge posted:
I am sorry for your loss, Lord Sidious. I regret my failure. If only me and Face weren't watching RWBY I could've assisted in some form.
Speaking of which, I think it went well? Face kept bursting into laughter even during non-comedic scenes. When we were finished, he remarked that I "have unusually good taste in comedy for a Sith". I don't know how to feel about that.
nine-gear crow posted:
*inhale* Calming breath in... *exhale* Calming breath out... *inhale* Calming breath in... Calming bre--fuck it
God, what was my therapist thinking? This is MUCH more relaxing!
DivineCoffeeBinge posted:
Congratulations, you said the magic words! Well, word. I always said coffee was magic, after all.
anilEhilated posted:
: Hello? Anyone around? No? Good.
: Log number, I don't remember anymore. Used to have a system to keep track of them, a system comprehensible only to genius such as I. Then I mistook timer for a remote detonator. Ears ringing, lost count.
: Anyway. Ahem. Yesterday was a success. "Ectoplasm" sample obtained and safely secured, potential for use in explosives limited but I have not yet given up hope on being able to walk through walls yet. Escape from anywhere, anytime. Potential.
: No news regarding the conspiracy yet. A lesser detective with a lesser mind and a lesser grasp on reality would probably strike ghost from the list of suspects. Not I. After all, a ghost could easily be in two places at the same time.
...
: Uh... Couldn't it? Note to self: need to read up on ghostonomics. Another disturbing development: saw the catman fight. From the distance cannot judge if ears are the ones wrongfully stolen from me by entirely involuntary surgery. Need to get closer. Ideally with a scalpel. Coated with C4.
: World's greatest detective... Out!