Part 33: Little Punk Flamander Worms Again
LPFWA 2k18 Episode #32 - Little Punk Flamander Worms Again in HELL!Deathmaster780: Loopy Punchers Fight Worrisome Attacks
FelinoidSA: Lady Pummels Female Wrestler Again
FelinoidSA: Little Punk Flamander Worms Again
IGgy IGsen posted:
Hi! This week's show will be HELL!!! We're all going to HELL!!!!!
It will be at the usual time in the usual place. And you also get to vote once more on the bonus match. Just head here if you wanna do so.
The match card is below, of course.
#1 8-Way Chaos
Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Dr. Ham vs. a tree vs. D the Destroyer vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Schir vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. Kane
#2 Singles Match
Yelizaveta RN vs. Lady of the Lancet
#3 Tag Team Match
First Ora w/ Tommy Wiseau vs. Hugrule Warriors
#4 LP Superstar Championship
Palpatine vs. Toad (c)
#5 Kawaii Championship
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nadira (c)
#6 Co-Comm Championship
Los Borrachos vs. Third Street Sinners (c)
#7 Bunny Championship :3
Freddie Hope vs. Fruitsniffer (c)
Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/sJFCbgJjKbWZJqLj2
#8 LPFWA Women's Championship
Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton (c)
Main Event: LPFWA Championship
Flamander vs. Nuffkins (c)
Jaguars! posted:
Last time I was the mook for some magical punching elf's side quest and now I've got to fight the creature from the Prypiat Lagoon again. I've still got the heel shaped bruise on my sternum from last time. No more Mr nice Lady. Rraghh!
quote:
Scene: Jeff Lyfe interviews Flamander on his match with Nuffkins, who explains that he will bring Nuffkins to Justice
#1 8-Way Chaos
Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Dr. Ham vs. a tree vs. D the Destroyer vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Schir vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. Kane
Of course it was a draw.
#2 Singles Match
Yelizaveta RN vs. Lady of the Lancet
Lady of the Lancet picks up the win, proving that she's still here, and ready to rumble
#3 Tag Team Match
First Ora w/ Tommy Wiseau vs. Hugrule Warriors
The Hugrule Warriors manage to take the win, and of course Tommy Wiseau is the one to take the fall.
#4 LP Superstar Championship
Palpatine vs. Toad (c)
It took him three (3) Imperial Powerbombs but Palpy recaptures the LP Superstar Title from Toad.
#5 Kawaii Championship
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Nadira (c)
We all wanted DCB to win, but alas, it was not meant to be. Nadira further cements herself as Kawaii Champion.
#6 Co-Comm Championship
Los Borrachos vs. Third Street Sinners (c)
Even though there was this Wet fart of a lukewarm tag the Sinners prevail and defend their Co-Comm Titles
#7 Bunny Championship :3
Freddie Hope vs. Fruitsniffer (c)
There was a hug and Freddie enjoyed it so much he patted Fruity on the back, giving Fruity the win via submission.
Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
Samus Aran vs. Awesome Kong
Bootleg Kong beats Samus. Y'know, the gal who squashed other outside-LPFWAers, such as Bailey.
#8 LPFWA Women's Championship
Tolvie vs. Valerie Easton (c)
They smooched. That means Val wins because here finisher is the Kiss of Death. Tolvie is dead now. Rip. Not really, no one's dead. But Val won.
Main Event: LPFWA Championship
Flamander vs. Nuffkins (c)
Nuffkins asserted dominance early on, but after several Flamaranas, two full worms, one half worm and plenty of brawling Nuff eventually stays down for the 1... 2... 3!
Scene: Still reeling from his loss against Flamander moments ago Nuffkins is visited by Palpatine who lulls him into joining the oRa 66 by promising a shitton of cookies, dude.
yerpalhal, post:187, topic:2484 posted:
people think ah overspent on the cookies but naw truth is good auld scottish made cookies are like the best thing tae wash doon wie thon tru bru. Also ye cannae go wrang wie a scottish sandwich
Let's also get a bit into Nuffkins' path through LPFWA while we're here already
He debuted in the first episode of Season 2. Established as a kind of simple-minded dinosaur who poses as a human wrestler. And to do so emulates what he thinks a wrestler is supposed to look like. In this case it's Hulk Hogan. Nuffkins enters to American Made, Hogans WCW theme, which is now used by Toad. In his debut match he wins the LP Superstar Title from Succinct and Punchy, who happened to hold it at the end of Season 1.
As the show goes on, and Hulk Hogan turned out to be aggressively racist over the course of Gawkermania Nuffkins begins to emulate a different Wrestler, Stone Cold Steve Austin. In case you care: Nuffkins 3:16 says "I'm a human" which punchy just counters with repeated "What?"chants. In the final episode of Season 2 Nuffkins challenges the LP Superstar Champion Pomp to recapture the belt he lost not too long after he's won it. He successfully recaptures the title and in the coming three years he becomes the Nuffkins we now know. The slightly arrogant LPFWA Champion who's achieved what he describes as "peak fashion" and has just had the longest title reign in LPFWA period.
To break kayfabe here: When I picked him as the inaugural champion for this season I did not expecpt him to keep the title for long. He was a leftover. One of the established guys where you could say "Yeah, he can hold a title and it wouldn't seem too weird". Him defending the belt so convincingly and repeatedly was a happy little accident but knowing Season 2 Nuffkins and comparing him to Season 3 Nuffkins creates a nice little narrative of a guy going from "Good but not great." to the longest reigning LPFWA Champion yet.
On screen Nuffkins had defenses against Toad, Fruitsniffer, BNF, Lotus, anilEhilated (the latter two in the same match), a tree, Freddie Hope and Goldberg. Finally he lost it to Flamander.
So that's 7 successful defenses over 239 on-screen days (218 if you coun't from his first on-screen defense.)
But you need to keep in mind that Nuffkins had the belt when this season started. So let's have some fun.
If Nuffkins had won the title from Dr. Rath on the first PPV after the end of Season 2 (which means he'd have to have lost the LP Superstar Title in the build to the PPV) and kept the title since then his reign would be, hypothetically, 1557 days long. Which means between 51 and 52 defenses if we're assuming monthly defenses. Now, I could just decide that this is the case but I'm not. I'd still like to contrast this hypothetical reign with some other historic reigns.
Kazuchika Okada held the IWGP Heavyweight Title for 720 days with 12 Successful defenses. (He holds the record for both days held, and defenses)
CM Punk held the WWE title for 434 days with 22 successful defenses, though some say it's been over one hundred (including house shows and dark matches). The belt is also sometimes defended in non Big Match scenarios where no one really expects a title change.
Asuka's NXT Women's Title reign lasted for 510 days with 11 defenses.
Brunno Samartino's first WWE reign lasted for 2803 that's seven years. He defended the belt 390 (!!!!) times. Of course, title reigns back then were just longer. This was between 1963 and 1971 (stats from cagematch.net)
You might notice that the number of defenses isn't really proportional to the days they were held. This has multiple reasons. For one, WWE Titles tend to have more defenses because they have more shows and the title is defended at least once per month at PPVs (not necessarily, but usually that's the case) additionally there's throwaway defenses on RAW and Smackdown as well as at house shows, sometimes.
NJPW, on the other hand, treats it's title defenses like a much bigger deal and the company works more on a tour-schedule rather than being a weekly TV-Show. Other companies have their own quirks in this regard too, which is why I prefer measuring a title reign by the number of defenses, rather than the days they lasted. Just look at Brock Lesnars ongoing 455+ day reign with only 7 (televised) defenses.