Part 3

Week 2: Or, How to Develop a Spine

FUCKING AMED! Maybe I should have paid Connie...
Oh Connie's not so bad, you just gotta be firm with her, otherwise she assumes you're a rube.
You leave my heritage out of this.
Slade, you and I both know it's not every day some hick strikes oil in a diamond mine.
... Still, I need advice or that inheritance is going down the toilet faster than the result of a binge at Taco Bell...


How about no?
Surely you didn't call me just to harrass me.
As fun as that sounds, I've got bigger fish to fry today. I need info.
So you ARE going to
No.
What?
I'm gonna strike a deal with you. You tell me everything you know and I don't talk to Uncle Sam and arrange a trip for you to Club Fed. Are we clear?
... crystal.


Happy now?
No. I'll be calling you back. Especially if your tip was bogus.
I don't see how Prisila puts up with you.

*CLICK*

That's my man! Show a little gumption.
Quiet bitch, I'm trying to think.
...
So Thundercunt McScammybitch says ATNT... let's see what the Goon$ say.


Exconrail?! Insanity! But ATNT seems popular around the board... and Carnivore does seem to have topped off.


SLADE!
What now?
YOU called me a bitch?
Aha, well, I guess it kinda slipped out.
You are going to take me shopping to make up for it. NOW.
And if I don't WANT
SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Oh GOD DAMNIT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Fine! We'll go shopping! Shut up!
AAAAaaaaade, you were always so reasonable. It's why I fell in love with you!


And thus, Slade lost four hours of his life that he will never get back.

Tuesday


Connie you bitch, I could kiss you right now. I'd better give her another call...
*BRRRRRRRRRRRNG*
If this is Slade, fuck you.
If that's an invitation, I'll pass. Gimme some dirt.


........
Slade?
.........................................
*CLICK*


AMED YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME.

Thursday


When I saved that hamster from the house fire two years ago they didn't call ME a hero. Time to check stocks...


Slade, what's wrong?
A................... am........
... am going to take me shopping?
Prisila. Listen to me very carefully. I am going to walk out of this room. When I return, you are to be nowhere in this house. Do I make myself clear?
... okay but you gotta take me shopping this weekend.

Friday

*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNG*
God damnit it's 6 in the mo
Slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade!
... wait for it...
Slade, my car is old!
Here it comes...
I need you to buy me a new car!
Thank you, and good night.
I'm serious! It's old and broken down and BLEH! I need you to buy me a new one. It's my birthday and everything!
You just got that Flexus two months ago. Incidentally, your birthday was also two months ago. These events are not unrelated, mind you.
No, you're thinking of my... identical twin sister. HER birthday was two months ago.
You already used that excuse.
I have more than one identical twin sister you know.
And you all have different birthdays.
Yes!
I think the aneurysm I got from Amed's performance killed me and sent me to hell.


Life is suffering without beginning or end. That being said, I need a car to shut the little woman up. Gimme the finest and/or cheapest you've got.


.... ahahahaha, no, I don't think I'll be doing that.
She's going to be disappointed you know.
Let her rot for all I care.

Later

So then I said "$100,000 for a Fremlin? What do you think I am, an escaped mental patient?" And that's the whole story.
So you didn't get me a car.
Well... not as such, no.
You didn't get me a car.
Now now Prissycakes, don't... don't look at me like that. Please?
SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Week 2. Over. Fuck Amed. However, Yapple grew a bit and ATNT exploded, and netted us some money for seeding the next week.

Monday


Glad I got out of those at the end of last week!



While ye old windbag was deflating last week, I switched ATNT and Yapple for some Strayhound and C. Schlob! I got a good feeling about these...

You know the drill. Portfolio changes? We're invested heavily in Strayhound and C. Schlob. Strayhound looks to be hot this week but C. Schlob... not so much.