Part 7

Mr. Swoon posted:

What is it about your threads that makes me draw weird things?

You have such excellent timing, it's amazing. I need your services for one of the final updates, if you'd be so kind.

Anyway, this update is gonna be short and to the point - we're fucking rich.

Week 7: $lade


As I say, if you're going to risk a ginormous inheritance on a toy company, you might as well go all the way with it.
I hope you fail. You've been nothing but mean to me lately!
Maybe you shouldn't try to trap people into marriage for your own benefit.
I'm entitled to that money just as much as you are!
Oh ho, really. Well, we'll see about THAT.
So is that a challenge?
Indeed. THE GAME OF WITS HAS BEGUN.
That's not a nice thing to say, I couldn't find my bra this morning.
Wits, you dunderhead. WITS.



... $100k gain... in one day.


If you'll excuse me I'll just be FOAMING AT THE MOUTH
You know, I bet a good painting would really spruce up
Putting my foot down right now. No.
But SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!
I'd sooner die in a fire than buy that overpriced crap.




Connie, I don't know what to do! He's getting... uncontrollable!
Hmm. And you insist he doesn't know how to do anything on his own?
Of course. I mean, he's only succeeding at this whole silly stock thing because he's doing what you tell him.
Well, if that's how you feel, then let him keep doing what he's doing. He's bound to slip up eventually.
I don't like the sound of that.
Do it.
On second thought, I'll just do that.
(WAY too much alike...)






OH MY VARIOUS GODS
What was that noise?
I don't know but I think I need new pants.


So here we are at the end of the week... Rattel looks like it's on the way out. Time to ditch it!

*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNG*

Pre-emptively telling you to go fuck yourself.

Looks like I was right!
BUY ME A FUCKING PAINTING OR I MOVE THE DATE OF THE WEDDING UP TO TOMORROW.
You're all talk. But fine, we'll go LOOK. Not promising ANYTHING.
*CLICK*
I'd better call Connie to see what I need to get into or out of...


Admit it, you just delight in other peoples' misery.
I guess you could say I have a case of Sladenfreude! Ha! Ha! Ha!
I will kill you with my bare hands if it's the last thing I ever do.


Godspeed you magnificent fuckers.


Suspiciously low for the weekend!


I'm interested in this whole art... thing. I heard a famous print sold for over $400 million and I think it's time to invest! Gimme the best you've got.


If you'll excuse me I'll just be over here pissing myself with laughter.
Buy itttttt!!!
If you want it, pay for it yourself. I've got better things to do with that money.
THIS IS SO GOING ON MY FIVEJOURNAL.


Your... your tears are like nectar. They sustain me.


*** Market Data ***
Blue chip and speculative stocks outpace others.

*** HOT STOCKS BULLETIN ***
Chryer
Strayhound
Teradying
Pan Mam Airlines
Bethleham Steel

*** NEWS HEADLINES ***
The art world goes into shock as a Warhalsky print goes up for sale for $400 million.

Didn't I just read this story last week? Hmm... let's talk to Connie!



... there are no words for this.
You.
Yes, I'm me. What of it?
I'm mad at you. THE WARHALSKY COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE PAINTINGS UP FOR SALE.
Oh come off it, you know that junk shop didn't have anything of value. Besides, I commissioned a painting for you! It's up in the hall right now.
REALLY?! I WANT TO GO LOOK!


An old friend of mine by the name of Sweeny Swoonson painted it. Isn't it great?
...................
Cry for me. It pleases me ever so much.

We've hit our goal for the month after only three weeks, which means next week is PURE PROFIT. Make it count.