Part 34: Indiana Orren And The Temple of Dumb

Fun fact: White Knight Chronicles is still a better Indy story than Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.


AREA MUSIC: “Infiltration” (Disc 1, Track 12)

The Dogma Rift is another blatant FFXIII-style hallway area. It’s a series of straightaways that curve into open glades packed with giant enemies ultimately leading up to the Dogma Rift Temple itself.

The only redeeming features of this place are the that the sunset lighting makes everything look more interesting than it probably would look if it were daylight out, the area music is pretty kick ass, and it’s essentially the second-last area of the game we have to clear.


It’s also a greatest hits of enemies from other areas of the game.

You’ll find at least one of every enemy type that we’ve encountered up till now in the Dogma Rift. White Knight Chronicles II introduces a few new enemies into the mix, but this is the culmination of things right here.


Thank god for VLC’s fast-forward controls, it was bad enough going through this area at normal speed when I was laying down the footage. I don’t think I could have hacked it going through it a second time for the screenshots.


Like I said, this place just throws everything at you at once.


After about 20 minutes of just trying to get through the place, we finally make it to the a portion of the level where the next cutscene starts.




CUTSCENE: The Dogma Rift

Everyone stops on the cliffside overlooking the temple.


Leonard: We’re here. The Dogma Rift.


Caesar: Looks like we’re getting close to the end.
Setti: We’ll circle around the outer rim and enter through the tunnels.


Yulie: Should we camp here?


Setti: No. Let’s find the way in. Then we can rest.

On the one hand, you’re probably evil now. On the other hand, you’re not demanding to stop and powernap every twenty minutes like Eldore, so what the hell, eh?


Everyone nods approvingly and heads along down the path.


Note to JRPG protagonists everywhere: never trust a man with hair this stupid looking, ESPECIALLY if he’s voiced by Crispin Freeman.


Setti smugly smirks and carries on behind them.






Immediately after the cutscene, Magi soldiers start showing up. Luckily this is near the end of the area before we enter the temple proper, so we don’t have to deal with too many of them.


And there it is, the Dogma Rift Temple_{’s back entrance.}


CUTSCENE: All The Cards on the Table




Setti: We’ll camp here.


Setti: Once we’re inside, there will be too many monsters.


Setti: You never know, this may be our last chance.
Orren: *cough*yeahrealfuckingsubtlethere*cough*


Caesar smiles and nods.

Caesar: …Right.




Later that night…


Magi soldiers suddenly come stalking through the campsite.




Wow, that’s a freakin’ lot of soldiers.




However, it would seem they’re not taking the party as unawares as they think they are.


Caesar: Leonard.


Leonard: Yeah.




They both charge forward into the crowd of soldiers.








This is not as impressive as it looks when in motion because they both run up to the soldiers and just kind of stop in front of them before actually doing anything.

I think Leonard’s idiocy is finally starting to rub off on Caesar. Actually, Caesar stops to get a one-liner in.


Caesar: Two versus two… dozen? Fair enough.

Never stop, Caesar. Never. Stop.




Leonard: No wonder he was so choosy about where we camp.


Setti: Heh heh heh heh heh.


CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Grazel’s Theme” (Disc 2, Track 16)

Setti: Woke you, did we? Too bad for you.


Setti: It would have been easier for you to let me kill you in your sleep.


Yulie: My goodness…


Yulie: Can’t you keep it down out here?
Orren: Some people just don’t have any class these days.


Setti: Ohh. I see everyone’s arrived.


Leonard: No.


Leonard: Not quite.




*SCHWING!* Oh hey, Eldore’s back.




Eldore: Ya done goofed now, boy!


Setti: GHA!


Caesar: Well, don’t you feel stupid now.


Caesar: See, we put on a little show.


Eldore: Indeed. Enjoyed my little break.

Well, how about that, a moment of rare intelligent planning on the part of the party. They actually laid a decent trap for the villains and sprung it somewhat adequately.

I’m… almost beginning to be impressed.


Setti: Oh. So what gave me away?




Caesar: Your boots.




Setti: My boots?




Caesar: Setti, remember when you caught up with us in Baccea?


Caesar: Well, I saw that your boots had barely a speck of dirt on them.


Caesar: I thought that was kind of weird, you know?


Caesar: So I asked myself, who the hell could do that?


Caesar: Travel all the way through Frass Chasm to Baccea…


Caesar: And still have a clean pair of boots? And then the answer struck me clear as day.


Caesar: Someone who flew there. That’s who.


Caesar: Like in, say, a monoship, for example. Sound familiar?


Caesar: We knew who you were right from the very beginning…


Caesar: Grazel!


Grazel: Ha ha ha ha hah.


Grazel: Ah ha ha ha ha hah.


Grazel: AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

In terms of Crispin Freeman Evil Laughs, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being a normal human laugh and 10 being goddamn motherfucking Albedo, this one only nets about a 4…


SETTI GRAZEL IS LOVING THIS SHIT!


Grazel: My Reunion… Bet you’re DYING to see it.

God, I can’t believe I once watched Advent Children. What’s wrong with me?


On the other hand, now the White Knight Chronicles is ripping off Doctor Who, as Setti regenerates into latest incarnation… Peter Capaldi.










Nah, I’m kidding. He regenerates into Sephiroth.


Grazel: Well done!




Grazel: And here I thought I could fool my fellow Pactmakers.


Grazel: However… Did you never for a moment consider why I led you here?


Caesar: No. Why?
Orren: Idiot! You don’t TELL him that!


Grazel: Heh heh heh…

He snaps his fingers.


The ground below everyone starts to glow.










And then the whole place collapses under their feet.


Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!




Orren: YOU MORONS! HOW DID YOU FUCK THIS UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPP?!!


This is what these idiots get for trying to be “smart” and taunting Grazel when they should have just whipped out their Knights and splattered his ass against the canyon wall in two seconds.

Even when they’re at their smartest, they’re still a collection of thoughtless morons.

I hope they all died. Orren too.




CUTSCENE: Rex Regnant

So now we end up at the bottom of a giant hole in the ground.






Leonard: Wha!


Yulie: Huaah!

Well everyone looks surprisingly no worse for wear despite falling probably 200 feet straight down onto solid rock.

Okay.


Yulie: Is everybody okay?


Orren: I feel wet inside my head, I’m pretty sure I’m bleeding internally, it hurts when I breath in, my pinky is pointing the wrong way, I can’t feel my toes, and I can only see the colour blue.
Eldore: Walk it off, Niles.


Caesar: Yeah… more or less.


Eldore: It looks like we’re trapped in here.




Yulie: But…


Yulie: Why would Grazel bring us here in the first place?


Yulie: If he’s after the Sun King, he doesn’t need us to take it, right?


Eldore: Ah, but you see, Grazel didn’t. Setti did.


Yulie: Huh?! But Setti died.


Eldore: Wrong. Grazel and Setti are the same person.


Leonard: That’s crazy!


Eldore: Oh, is it now? Two minds in one man, each trying to thwart the other’s plans.


Eldore: Setti, he wanted to help us.


Caesar: So Grazel used the monoship to get to Frass Chasm…


Caesar: But then Setti wrested control away from him.


Yulie: I don’t know. That still sounds crazy.
Orren: So does a group of people with two indestructible walking magic tanks failing to rescue a woman four times in a row. And yet… Tadaa!


Leonard: Huh?!


Leonard: Did you hear that?


Yulie: It’s close by!


Caesar: And man, does it sound big.


CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Attack” (Disc 1, Track 11)

Out of the shadows comes stomping something vaguely familiar…


Eldore: Careful, Leonard. This one is tougher than its Balandor brother.
Orren: Well, at least he doesn’t have a castle to break this time.






So this here is Pyredaemos Rex, a beefed up pallet swap of the standard Pyredaemos from the beginning of the game and the Van Haven Waste.

These guys are often the end boss of certain high-level online Avatar quests. However, just like the original Pyredaemos, the same weaknesses are in play here.




BOSS FIGHT: Pyredaemos Rex (with commentary by nine-gear crow and Blind Sally)


So for this fight all you really need to do is whip out a Knight, either one will do in this situation, and just use stabbing attacks like Thrust on it until it keels over.


Leonard: Verto!








(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS TIRED JOKE)










Pyredaemos Rex has a few attacks to watch out for. Unlike the original Pyredaemos, Rex is an earth-elemental monster, so it attacks by earthbending the ground around you and with some earth-based elemental magic.


It also does this BS multi-hit attack that knocks you backwards and stuns you for a few seconds.




It also has a charge attack similar to Pyredaemos’s massive fire blast where it hits you with a big blast of energy from its back turret and knocks your Knight off its feet for a few seconds, but I kill it before it gets anywhere close to launching it on me.










CUTSCENE: A Means of Escape


Pyredaemos Rex goes down, now relegated to recurring enemy status for the rest of the duology.


Leonard: Got him!


Eldore: And it’s given us an escape. Let’s go.
Leonard: Right!


Again, another unfortunate Yulie pantyshot to close out a scene with. Goddamn it, game…




CUTSCENE: No Going Back Now
CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Temple Bell” (Unreleased Track)

I think this is the longest we’ve gone before getting an area title card too.








Leonard: This must be the real entrance to the ruins.

This is the same entrance Grazel led them to last night. But don’t tell Leonard.


Caesar: What? You mean falling into a monster’s den wasn’t the right way in?


Caesar: Ha ha hah.


Eldore: At least now we know we can get out.


And so to the sound of an ominous temple gong, Team Caesar ventures into the Dogma Rift Temple after Grazel.

Will they be able to stop him in time?

Will they be able to destroy the Sun King before he gets his hands on it?

Will they save Princess Cisna?

…Like for real this time?

Will they be able to convince Kara to return to the side of light?

Will they be able to avert the Final Awakening?


What the fuck do you think they’re going to do? Huh?

• 23.1 – The Dogma Rift
  
• 23.2 – All The Cards on the Table
  
• 23.3 – Rex Regnant
  
• 23.i – Pyredaemos Rex Boss Fight
  
• 23.4 – A Means of Escape
  
• 23.5 – No Going Back Now

THE DOGMA RIFT & TEMPLE