The Let's Play Archive

White Knight Chronicles I & II

by nine-gear crow

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Original Thread: Your Failure Must Be More Severe: Let's Play White Knight Chronicles II (& I)



Failure Is The Only Option: Let’s Play White Knight Chronicles I & II

Your Failure Must Be More Severe: Let's Play White Knight Chronicles II (& I)

White Knight Chronicles (白騎士物語: 古の鼓動- Shirokishi Monogatari: Inishie no Kodō lit. White Knight Story: The Ancient Heartbeat) and its sequel, White Knight Chronicles II (白騎士物語: 光と闇の覚醒- Shirokishi Monogatari: Hikari to Yami no Kakusei lit. White Knight Story: Awakening of Light and Darkness) were a pair of JRPGs for the PlayStation 3 released in 2008 and 2010, respectively… in Japan. They finally made it to the New World in 2010 and 2011.

They were developed back-to-back by Level-5 Studios, a production house better known for the Professor Layton series, Dark Cloud I & II, and the more-recent Studio Ghibli co-production Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch. They were localized for North America by D3 Publisher, a company known these days mostly for low-rent licensed games of Dreamworks and Cartoon Network-owned IPs.

Originally intended to be not just one game, be a PS3 launch title, no less, production difficulties led to the game being split in two and delayed three whole years before the first part was even released, with the second part hastily following two years later.

White Knight Chronicles was lauded by the gaming press and curious fans alike at the time of its unveiling at the 2006 Tokyo Game Show, with various game websites proclaiming its revolutionary intent. This was a game that was supposed to be emblematic of the early PlayStation 3's attempt to usher in the era of "massive" games -- massive storyline, massive world, massive graphics, massive robots. Even Penny Arcade [yeah, yeah, insert Gabe and/or Tycho joke here] was suckered in by it. But that's the thing, everyone WAS suckered in by it, because the original "gameplay" trailer Level-5 used to announce the game to the world was a crock of pre-rendered, scripted shit.

You'll see the actual quality of the finished game for yourself over the course of this LP. To the surprise of those who only watched the 2006 bullshot trailer, both games bombed spectacularly. To those who actually played them, there was no surprise at all.

Just what’s the game about, crow?
Essentially, it’s a fantasy RPG with a giant mecha thread woven in. You assume the role of a young man who gains the power to transform into a seven meter-tall walking tank and tear shit up against both normal and similarly sized giant enemies.

Oh Christ, where’s the line up to give all my to Japan?
I know, right? Hold your horses. I need to break some bad news to you.

While once cheered as a unique mix of Lord of the Rings and Vision of Escaflowne, when it was finally released it was revealed instead to be closer to Eragon meets Gundam SEED Destiny Gundam AGE: a whole mess of cliché, stupid, and failure.

…Okay. So what went wrong?
A mixture of a failed tacked-on MMORPG sub-game, incompetent gameplay design, infuriatingly dumb party AI, and terrible plot and characters written by Level-5's president himself, Akihiro Hino left both games an unfocused middling mess. And when the online elements that were made integral to the core gameplay were taken offline by Sony in 2013, the games became unsalvagably broken.

There's no way around this: these games are SHIT.

So why are you LPing them?
Because incompetence of this level deserves a decent shitkicking, that's why.

Crow! I have some kind of brain tumour and its making me really want to play these games! Where can I find them?
First off, my sincerest sympathies. Generally speaking, you can find used copies of White Knight Chronicles International Edition and White Knight Chronicles II at most major game retailers. Neither game had a particularly large print run, but you can still trip over the occasional copy at any given GameStop of EB Games. Failing that, they’re also on Amazon as well.

Unfortunately, neither game is available as a PSN download (outside of Japan). And since both Level-5 and D3 have run screaming from the franchise, I would be shocked if either game got a PSN Store release at any point between now and the heat death of the universe.

If you are going to run out and buy one of these games based on this LP or any other factor in your life, take it from me: BUY WHITE KNIGHT CHRONCILES II. Why? Because it has both an “enhanced” remake of the first game on it as well as the sequel, allowing you to play right through the duology without skipping a beat. It’s what I’m using the LP both games.

Buying the first one is literally a waste of money. …Unless you really need to see how terrible its battle system was before they tweaked it for part 2.

And because both games were bombs, they shouldn’t be more than $20 a pop by now, so happy hunting.

● Oh Christ, a narrative LP? Really? Fuck you, jackass, I'm out.
Your loss.

● A Note On The Avatar Character

Doing screenshots for the storyline allows me to do something that isn’t actually done in the game: give the Avatar character a voice. Who is the Avatar? Well, long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony, but everything changed then the Fire Nation attacked… Wait.

The “Avatar,” is the character you create at the start of the first game who follows the party through both games and is essentially just there. He or she never speaks, never gets involved in the storyline beyond certain middling events here and there, and is essentially a non-entity intended to be used in the game’s failed online MMORPG section, GeoNet.

I intend to change that. The Avatar character I’ve created, Orren, is going to serve as my voice on matters as we go through the game, seeing as how he’s an everpresent element of the main party while being completely unobtrusive to the story. It’s the perfect vantage point to fling a little well-deserved shit at this unpolished turd of a game.

● The Mockery To Be Done
Anything in the story sections in italics that isn’t prose commentary is of my own creation. Everything said by Orren over the course of the LP will be in italics, as well as most of the in-character (or out-of-character) jokes by the speaking characters as well will be italicised.

The majority of people bound to be reading this LP probably haven't experienced the full... ah... joy(?) of White Knight Chronicles. If you have, first off my condolences, second, please keep any and all spoilers to yourself until we reach the appropriate point in the LP where you're free to talk about what you want to talk about.

This one's kind of moot now, ain't it?

#2 – Constructive criticism is always welcome
If you spot an error in the text or my logic, or just want to tell me to shut the hell up because no one cares how big of a bug I have up my ass about White Knight goddamn Chronicles of all things, then feel free to do so. I'm always looking to improve my The Dark Id rip-off craft.

So's this one.

#3 – Concerning the PSP Prequel
There was a PSP prequel game called White Knight Chronicles: Origins or White Knight Story Episode Portable: Dogma Wars (白騎士物語 -episode.portable- ドグマ・ウォーズ) in Japan.

It was an even bigger pile of shit than this game was. I'm not LP'ing it. Deal with it.

#4 – Concerning the Avatar Story
White Knight Chronicles II featured a pack of DLC side quests centred around your Avatar character to be done as a post-game epilogue to the whole shebang of the duology. D3 hinted it was going to localize it, but it never did, essentially locking the missions down as untranslated and unstable on-disc DLC, so it was lost to the greater part of Europe and North America. That said, I translated it and added it to the LP as a final slate of updates. So now we have that...

#5 – Don't Be A Dick
Because just don't. I'm just trying to have some fun with this lunacy, and so's everyone else here.

LP's over douchebag.

#6 – Are You Finished With This Damn OP Yet? Christ, I've Read Shorter BOOKS!
Okay. Fine. I'm done. Enjoy the show.

This section is intended as a refresher on who's who in this wonky plot. Minor unmarked spoilers may be present herein. Major spoilers are appropriately tagged. Read at your own risk.


Our "protagonist". A wine merchant's apprentice from Balandor. Pactmaker of the White Knight, Wizel. He's a fuckup machine.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Daniel Taylor


Player-created Avatar. LP narrator. Pactmaker of the Arc Knight.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Wil Wheaton* In my imagination.


Leonard's childhood friend from Parma Village. Also an apprentice wine merchant. Pactmaker of the Moon Maiden, Luthia.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter II
Voiced by: Dannah Feinglass


A mysterious wanderer with much knowledge seemingly beyond his purview. He's actually a time traveler from the Dogma Era.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Charles Shaughnessy (Maxwell Sheffield (The Nanny), and a legit bleeping BARON)


A barroom dancer from the desert town of Albana. Actually a Magi mole within the party, Pactmaker of the Black Knight, Dinivas.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter VIII
Voiced by: Catherine Cavadini (Blossom from The Powerpuff Girls)


The shiftless playboy heir to the Free City of Greede. Pactmaker of the Dragon Knight, Larvayne.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX (cameo), XIII (actual)
Voiced by: Vincent Corazza (Tuxedo Mask from the DiC dub of Sailor Moon)


A soldier in the Balandor Royal Army. Player-created Avatar for the second game.

First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I
Voiced by: Johnny Yong Bosch* In spirit.

:: ALLIES ::

Heir to the throne of Balandor and staunch ally of the main party. Is the reincarnation of Queen Mureas from the Dogma Era.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Kari Wahlgren


Captain of the Balandor Castleguard and King Valtos's adoptive son.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: NOLAN NORTH


The King of Balandor and father to Cisna and Cyrus.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Bob Joles


King Valtos's most trusted friend and adviser and head of his Privy Council. Is actually the evil High Priest Ledom of Yshrenia.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Jim Ward (Captain Qwark)


Monarch of the Archduchy of Faria. Seeks an end to the war between Faria and Balandor.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Michael Ensign

Caesar's ailing father and ruler of the Free City of Greede.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XIII
Voiced by: Joe Alaskey / Matthew Mercer (Young Drisdall)


Archduke Dalam's granddaughter and heir.

First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I
Voiced by: Natalie Lander (Kinzie Kenzington, Saints Row The Third & IV)


Balandor's chief scientist, responsible for studying the Knights.

First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter IX
Voiced by: Jentle Pheonix


De facto ruler of Albana in the Lagnish Desert and head of a massive weapons manufacturing syndicate.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX
Voiced by: Hans Tester


The wise and noble “Guardian of Dragonkind,” and keeper of the Ark and armour of the Dragon Knight.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XV
Voiced by: Diane Pershing


A kind, gentle and scholarly lad who happens to know many of the Knight's darker secrets. He is the embattled original personality of Grazel.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XVI
Voiced by: Crispin Freeman


Chief of Baccea Village and commander of the Baccea Windwalkers. Slightly explosion-happy. Walking reference to Level-5's Dark Cloud series.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XIX
Voiced by: Sean Donnellan


Accident-prone member of the Baccean Windwalkers and a protege of Osmund's. Later the pilot of Balandor’s airship Shahgna.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XIX
Voiced by: Debi Derryberry (Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius)


Head of the Farian governing council and chief adviser to Archduke Dalam. Close ally and guardian of Dalam's granddaughter Miu.

First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I
Voiced by: Barry Dennen


A powerful Farian warrior and commander loyal to Ban Lorias and Miu. Is actually a resurrected Kara.

First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I
Voiced by: Troy Baker


The leader of the Farian people from the Dogma Era. His spirit lives on in the massive tree in Faria's Numenshrine.

First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter III
Voiced by: Darryl Kurylo


Famous archaeologist specializing in Dogma Era relics, particularly the Knights.

Appears exclusively in the Avatar Story DLC.

First Appearance: Avatar Story, Chapter I


Leader of the Magi's armed forces and Pactmaker of the Black Knight, Dinivas. Is actually a composite entity with many people playing the "role" of Dragias over time. Kara was one Dragias, Ledom was the other one.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Daniel Riordan


A powerful sorcerer and second-in-command of the Magi. Pactmaker of the Gigas Sargatanas.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Dana Snyder (yes, ladies and gentlemen, Master Shake himself)


Leader of the Yshrenia-worshiping cult known as the Magi. Main villain of the series. Pactmaker of the Sun King, Aldomaea, and divergent personality of Setti.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XI (cameo), XVII (actual)
Voiced by: Crispin Freeman


The mastermind of the Magi organization and Grazel's chief adviser. Is actually Chancellor Sarvain of Balandor.

First Appearance: Game 1, Epilogue
Voiced by: Jim Ward


Farian expatriate assassin and Grazel's right-hand man. Second Pactmaker of the Black Knight, Dinivas.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I (cameo), XI (actual)
Voiced by: Joe Smith


Farian boyar and Magi puppet turned against his own people by promises of power and glory.

First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I
Voiced by: Danny Jacobs


Queen of the ancient Athwan Kingdom from the Dogma Era and arch-enemy of Emperor Madoras. Reincarnated as Cisna in the modern era. Literal war criminal.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XVII (mentioned); Game 2, Chapter XII (depicted)


A Warg wine seller from the Kingdom of Balandor and adoptive father of Leonard and Yulie. Mean and perpetually cross. Was once a skilled adventurer and bounty hunter in his own right.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Dave B. Mitchell


A wagon-driver from Parma Village. Lazy, drunken shitstain.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter II
Voiced by: Matthew Moy (Han Lee from Two Broke Girls)


A mysterious ethereal being inhabiting the White Knight Incorruptus acting as its guardian spirit.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IV
Voiced by: Uncredited


Cyrus's personal Castleguard retinue. Four loyal soldiers who would literally follow him anywhere. They are, from left to right, Oswald, Warren, Noel, and Anecia.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter VII
Voiced by: Uncredited (Oswald & Noel only)


Don Phibs’ lackies. They run his Binding Posts and cater to his various absurd whims. Scheming shitbags. All of them.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX
Voiced by: Wally Wingert & Eric Lopez


Don Phibs’ beloved wife. Her her irascible nature has driven him into the arms of another woman , which has caused certain marital strife between them.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX
Voiced by: Uncredited


The other woman. Don Phibianacci’s mistress and the object of his affections.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX
Voiced by: Uncredited


Kara's sister. Kidnapped by the Magi to force her to do their bidding.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter VIII (mentioned), X (actual)
Voiced by: Uncredited


Owner, operator and auctioneer of the Black Cherry Auction House in Greede’s Black Market. Con artist. Runs an illegal fighting arena in Greede’s underbelly in his spare time.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XII
Voiced by: Uncredited


A friend and servant of the Drisdall Family. The Demithor’s handler. The only person in Greede able to communicate with the beast that bears the city on its back.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XIV
Voiced by: Travis Oates (Piglet! )


Commander of Balandor's Royal Army in the second game. Is mostly just there without really doing much. She's Balandor's Shapur, only without that whole murdering people thing.

First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter X
Voiced by: Laura Bailey (Uncredited)


Vestigial reference to LPs long past. Legends never die they just get decanonized.

First Appearance: Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire


Mother of Princess Cisna and wife of King Valtos. Was assassinated during a Farian attack on Balandor Castle, causing Cisna to become a mute for 10 years.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I
Voiced by: Uncredited


A mysterious scholar, former guardian of the Pactmakers, and father of Setti. Knew many secrets about the Knights, but died mysterious one year prior to the start of the game.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XV


A legendary troll warrior from the Dogma Era. Led the united troll tribes against Yshrenia. Wielded a holy sword known as Talion, a Knight-Slaying Sword forged by the Athwani smiths. Held up as a god-like figure by the peoples of Frass Chasm.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XVIII (mentioned), XX (depicted)


MAJOR spoilers follow, skip this section if you haven't read up to the final chapter of game 2.


Ruler of the ancient Yshrenian Empire in the Dogma Era. Prophesied to return in the modern era and finish his great battle with Queen Mureas of Athwan. Our Bigger Bad for the game.

First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XVII (mentioned); Game 2, Chapter XVI (actual)
Voiced by: Liam O'Brien


A woman in strange magical armour and herald of an invasion from the world beyond.

Appears exclusively in the Avatar Story DLC.

First Appearance: Avatar Story, Chapter II


A man in strange magical armour and herald of an invasion from the world beyond.

Appears exclusively in the Avatar Story DLC.

First Appearance: Avatar Story, Chapter V


An entity claiming to be the god of the other world. Our Biggest Bad, but only in the Japanese version.

Appears exclusively in the Avatar Story DLC.

First Appearance: Avatar Story, Chapter X

Formally known as an “Incorruptus” (plural: Incorrupti), a Knight is a colossal weapon of war from ancient times, towering some seven meters tall. The so-called “Dogma Legend” speaks of a set of five specific Knights created by an ancient civilization known as Yshrenia. Also according to the Dogma Legend, if all five Knights were ever to come together in the modern era, it would bring about an event referred to as the “Final Awakening”. The Incorrupti are believed to be indestructible——not even another Incorruptus is capable of truly destroying one, and it is alleged that a single Incorruptus is equivalent in destructive power to an entire army.

Resembling gigantic suits of armour, the Knights are actually alive, propelled by powerful ancient magic and a bond with the soul of a living being, called a ‘Pactmaker’. If a Pactmaker is worthy of wielding the power of the Incorruptus, they are granted control of that Incorruptus’s Ark, a trinket of one kind or another which allows the Pactmaker to summon the Incorruptus from another realm and inhabit its body temporarily. The effect, when viewed from the outside, looks as though the Pactmaker has actually transformed into the Incorruptus. And indeed, even the incantation word used to complete the ‘transformation,’ “Verto” is derived from the ancient (read: Latin) word meaning ‘to turn’.

A typical Incorruptus transformation incantation follows this pattern, “O [Incorruptus name], [description] of the Ancient [noun], grant me your power. Verto!” (Note: in the Japanese version, the magic word is “Henshin”, literally “transform,” and a deliberate shout out to all the so-called ‘henshin heroes’ of Japanese live action TV, ie: Ultraman, Kamen Raider, and the Sentai Rangers, among others. This concludes your Japanese pop culture lesson for today).

Once transformed, a Packtmaker can only hold their Incorruptus form for a limited time and must recover their strength for a brief period after they revert to their original form. In terms of gameplay, that means you can only hold out for as long as your MP holds out. Once you revert you’re left with 0 MP, regardless of whether or not you reverted voluntarily, and will need to amass at least 7 AC before you can transform again.

The following Knights appear in the game:

The White Knight
True Name: Wizel
Weapon: Sword & Shield
Pactmaker: Leonard

Found in the ruins unearthed by the Cataclysm some 17 years ago, the Incorruptus known by the short hand of ‘the White Knight,’ was recovered by an expedition led by King Valtos and Chancellor Sarvain of Balandor. Balandor’s brightest minds poured nearly a decade into trying to unlock the secrets of the Knight and its accompanying Ark, no doubt in an attempt to use it against their rival nation of Faria to end the war once and for all.

Alas, after years of futile experimentation, the White Knight was deemed inoperable and sealed away beneath the castle, its location and existence known only to the upper echelons of Balandor’s government and military.

Wizel's transformation incantation is, “O Wizel, white warrior, wielder of the ancient sword, grant me your power. Verto!” Its transformation Ark is a gauntlet bearing the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its wrist and a dagger. When the dagger is inserted into the open slot on the gauntlet after the incantation is uttered, Leonard transforms into the White Knight.

The White Knight’s typical armament is swords and shields. Its default weapon is a blade called Whitesteel and the Argent Sheild.

The Black Knight
True Name: Dinivas
Weapon: Sword
Pactmaker: General Dragias (Kara), later Shapur

Known by the nickname Ebonwings, the Black Knight, Dinivas, was discovered by the Magi some time ago and recently activated after two years of effort to break the Athwani seal on it. The mysterious General Dragias is the Black Knight’s Pactmaker.

The Black Knight is the pride of the Magi’s armed forces after their legion of gigases. Unlike the White Knight, the Black Knight is capable of flight thanks to its two enormous bird-like wings which fold in and out of its back.

Dinivas's transformation incantation is, "O Dinivas, deliverer of dark and dread, ruler of the ancient shadows, grant me your power. Verto!" It's transformation Ark is ceremonial broadsword with the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its crossguard. The transformation sequence is initiated when the sword is pulled from its scabbard.

The Black Knight has one known weapon: a rapier-like sword known as the Darkblade.

The Dragon Knight
True Name: Larvayne
Weapon: Spear
Pactmaker: Caesar

The armour of Larvayne, the Dragon Knight, has been worn by the Dragon Matriarch for nearly 10,000 years since the end of the Dogma Era, its true power sealed away by Athwani magic, as she waits to return it to its rightful owner.

The Dragon Knight itself looks more bestial than the White and Black Knights do, being heavily inspired by the dragons who kept its power safe all these millennia. Just like the Black Knight, it is capable of flight thanks to its two massive armored wings.

The Dragon Knight’s transformation Ark is a dragon-shaped belt with the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its buckle. When the jaw of the dragon’s head clamps down around the buckle, the transformation sequence is initiated. The Dragon Knight’s transformation incantation is “O Larvayne, vermillion drake, leveler of ancient lands, grant me you power… Verto!”

The Dragon Knight’s principle weapon is a spear known as Larvaint.

The Sun King
True Name: Adolmaea
Weapon: Twin Swords
Pactmaker: Grazel

The oldest and strongest of the five remaining Yshrenian Incorrupti, Adolmaea, the Sun King, lies sealed away inside the Dogma Rift temple awaiting the return of its Pactmaker and its unbinding from the Athwani seal upon it.

In the heyday of the Dogma Wars, it was the symbol of Yshrenia’s martial prowess, and was the personal Incorruptus of Emperor Madoras. It is said to be truly indestructible, no weapon or spell known is strong enough to damage it.

The Sun King's transformation incantation is "O Adolmaea, shining sovereign, supreme light in the ancient skies, grant me your power... Verto!" Its transformation Ark is a silver mask with the emblem of the Yshrenian Empire on its forehead. The transformation sequence is initiated when the mask is applied to the Pactmaker's head.

The Sun King wields a bifurcated sword/lance called the Lawblade, which is capable of splitting in two to give the Sun King a pair of swords when the situation calls for it.

The Moon Maiden
True Name: Luthia
Weapon: Bow & Arrow
Pactmaker: Yulie

The fifth and final member of the Yshrenian Knights mentioned in the Dogma Legend. The Moon Maiden was the only one of the five not affected by Queen Mureas's sealing spell, having chosen to seal herself away prior to the end of the Dogma War. She was placed inside the massive tree that became Father Yggdra's body in the Farian capital, and has remained there for the last 10,000 years.

The Moon Maiden's transformation incantation is "O Luthia, argent goddess and beacon in the ancient night, grant me your power... Verto!" Its transformation Ark is a gilded silver bow with the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its grip. The transformation sequence is initiated when the bowstring is drawn back and released.

The Moon Maiden's primary weapon is a bow and arrow called El'Liet.

“The Arc Knight”
True Name: ????
Weapon: Sword, Shield, Spear, or Hammer
Pactmaker: Orren

A Knight created through a combination of Yshrenian magic and Balandor science. The so-called "Arc Knight" was created for Orren by Framboise, using the strange gem given to him by Don Phibianacci as the Knight's Ark. This Knight has no known name, nor a known transformation incantation, and its appearance and armament have been known to vary.

Currently it holds the form of an emerald warrior and wields a great emerald warhammer, the Gigantic Hammer (later Drega).

The Arc Knight's transformation Ark is a chakram-like weapon with the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its central balance point. The transformation sequence is initiated when the Ark is thrown outward by the Pactmaker, allowing the bladed disc to extend to its full size.

The Arc Knight is fully customization and can wield a variety of swords, spears, hammers, and shields depending on the whims of its Pactmaker.

White Knight Chronicles LP trailer (A not-at-all self-indulgent thing I made for the Shadows of the Empire LP thread, featuring the voices of Blind Sally and nine-gear crow!).
White Knight Chronicles I Promo Trailer – “The Travellers” (English Version)
White Knight Chronicles II Promo Trailer - “The Battlefield Flower” (English Version)
White Knight Chronicles Tokyo Game Show 2006 Announce Demo (c/o PlayScope Trailers) IE: The false promise Level-5 sold everyone on.

Blind Sally decides to tell Leonard's story from Leonard's POV.

Blind Sally posted:

( BGM= )

Cisna: The game is up.

Leonard: Does this mean we can make-out now?

Cisna: Wh--no, haven't you-- *sigh* why do i even. Yes, Leonard, lots and lots of make-outs. Please follow this woman here.

Leonard: I really like you, Cisna!
Cisna: Yes, that's nice.

Leonard: Whu--hello!? Wow, this is great! The Kingdom of Balandor wants to help me!

Leonard: I'm gonna make-out with Cisna, and I don't even have to do anything. Thanks, everyone!

Leonard: So, like, is the make-out room, or something? I've never done this before.

Cisna: Mighty God-Empress Of The World (that's me), Bountiful Goddess Over Everything (still talking about me), accept our sacrifice (to me, if that wasn't clear)!

Leonard: It's just so great being me.

Pedro: Cor blimey, is it ever hot in here!

Padro: Heh, you're tellin' me. Wonder what's goin' on out th--


Senerio just wants Yulie to get some pants. A DECENT PAIR OF PANTS!

nine-gear crow joins the proud Something Awful tradition of mercilessly mocking Tim Buckley (three years too late to be funny).

Ghostwoods insults the memory of Stan Laurel by associating him with this LP.

No Gravitas rewrites the opening hours of the first game into a crazy purgatorial drama. Go read it.

janusmaxwell does a better job writing a sidestory for the in-LP narrative than Akihiro Hino did actually writing the game.

And an encounter between Avatar Orren and Emperor Madors.

PoptartsNinja comments on the similarities between the deaths of Optimus Prime and Archduke Dalam in video format.

PoptartsNinja posted:

[Emperor Fedoras]



Elite tells the story of Sir Cyrus of Balandor... with as much effort as it deserves to be told.

SystemLogoff helps Yulie fight evil by moonlight and win love by daylight.

SystemLogoff posted:

You know, it almost makes you wonder where Miu got the energy for that Cannon.

: Fire the Mana Cannon!

: What! No! Nooooooooooooooooooo

: I should have never let her talk to that Princess.

SystemLogoff posted:

At least 'nard can't screw up your game genie.

: I can grant you anything you desire.

: Great, finally we'll be free of this shit! We can even get things lost to time!

: If that's what you wis--

: *Holds up huge transformation object on his arm* It would be great if I was a knight!

: If tha--

: Yes!!

: Granted. *Poof*


Magnus Ragnar sends Leonard to sleep with the fishes.

Veriun let's Orren have a nice quiet moment of contemplation.

Waffleman_ proves High Priest Ledom is the very model of a... You get the picture.

Waffleman_ posted:

I am the very model of a modern JRPG villain,
I've information on FF, SMT and the Quests Dragon,
I know the kings of Balandor, and I steal the Arks historical,
From the White Knight to the Sun King, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters governmental,
I understand succession, both the bloodline and empirical,
About murdering kings I make them feel a lot of pain---
With many cheerful knives, I kill the king, the princess, and


RelentlessImp insults the literary genius of T.S. Eliot by associating him with this LP.

RelentlessImp posted:

(With apologies to T.S. Eliot)
We are the mad men
We are the enraged men
Leaning together
Against this horrible game. Alas!
Our strained voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
To our protagonist

Plot without point, end without payoff,
Paralysed force, playing without hope;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to the end of WKC
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the mad men
The enraged men.

Game I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
Please do not appear:
There, the moans are
Ineffectual and pantywaisted
There, is a game ending
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More bewildered and more confused
Than a fading star.

Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
With the aid of a Game Genie
No nearer—

Not that final meeting
In Garmatha Fortress

This is the dead game
This is pointless shit
Here the game screenshots
Are raised, here they receive
The hate, rage and scorn they wholly deserve
Under the twinkle of a failing game.

Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Playing alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to game design.

The sense is not here
There is no sense here
In this game of failed realization
In this hollow game
This broken jaw of our lost hopes

In this last of meeting places
We gape together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Speechless, unless
The game reappears
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The fear only
Of enraged men.

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Hino
For this is the Chronicles

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Hino
WKC is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Hino
For this is the Chronicles

For this is
Life is
For this is the

This is the way the game ends
This is the way the game ends
This is the way the game ends
Not with a bang but a [INEFFECTUAL PANTYWAIST MOAN].

RelentlessImp posted:

(And now I insult Dylan Thomas)
Do not go gentle on White Knight Chronicles,
All gamers should burn and rage at Leonard;
Rage, rage against the dying of the logical.

Though wise men at the end know it was lackadaisical,
Because their agency had never surfaced they
Do not go gentle on White Knight Chronicles.

Good men, the last cutscene, crying how plausible,
This game might have been with just a little thought,
Rage, rage against the dying of the logical.

Mad men who grinded and bound, attempting to find something joyful,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle on White Knight Chronicles.

Crazed men, near end, who see this hate-inducing spectacle,
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the logical.

And you, our hero, there at end of day,
Die in a fucking fire, I pray.
Do not go gentle on White Knight Chronicles.
Rage, rage against the dying of the logical.

Lunethex sincerely believes that Level-5 CEO Akihiro Hino is the root of all wordly evil.




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