The Let's Play Archive

White Knight Chronicles I & II

by nine-gear crow

Part 24: When Midgets Step Up, I Stomp Midget Asses (Part 2)

CUTSCENE: Reversal of Fortune ~ The Re-Re-Kidnapping of Princess Cisna

Belcitane: B-but how?! …My Gigas!

Caesar: ‘How’? I just busted your ass, that’s how!

Caesar: Any questions?

So, to quote EpicLloyd as the Macho Man…

Belcitane: Bah!

Belcitane: Enough games!

Belcitane: UHAAAAAH!

CUTSCENE MUSIC:Scar” (Disc 2, Track 13)

Leonard: Uah!

Caesar: Wha?



Don’t you fucking do this to me game. Don’t you DARE rip the one good thing it has going for it (outside of Caesar, Yulie and Kara) away from me!



Shapur: A shameful performance, sir.

Belcitane: Gah… Shapur?!
Belcitane: ’The fuck?!
Belcitane: You betray… our lord’s wishes?!

Shapur: On the contrary, I serve them.

Shapur: Our lord gave you a role to play…

Shapur: One you played poorly.

Shapur: I’m afraid you’ve been booed off the stage.

This whole fucking thread would like to claim otherwise, patchy.

Shapur: Goodbye Belcitane.

Suck my balls you mono-eyed pointy-eared character murdering charisma vacuum.

You can barely see him in these screenshots, but if you watch the cutscene you can see Crispin Freeman in the background being all mysterious and Main Villain-y.

And of course, Shapur just walks away with Cisna, even more blatantly than Belcitane did.

Belcitane: Why would he… Booed off?

How sad that Belcitane spends his last few moments on earth pondering Shapur’s shitty metaphor.

Belcitane: Wait! My lord Grazel! Please, I…

Oh, well, I guess I can stop calling him Crispin Freeman now.

Also, I don’t think he’s in the mood to hear your counterargument, Belcy. I think that giant mortal energy knife to the chest wound is a pretty definitive statement on where he considers your position in the organization to be now.

IE: In the Deceased Characters section alongside Valtos, Dalam, and Floraaaaaaaaaaaine.

Also, give Lena my regards.



Cisna: Okay, that’s it, I’m officially defecting. Hey, Grazel! I see a position just opened up in your organization. Are you taking resumés?
Cisna: Aw, hell. Let’s see if I can troll him into running after me again. That’s usually good for a laugh.

Cisna: Leonard!

Take a shot.

Leonard: Damn! They’re getting away again!

Only in White Knight Chronicles will you hear a phrase like that uttered with such unceasing repetition.

So shit-for-brains runs after them futilely.

No one else bothers to run after him because they know what a lost cause it is already.

At this point, I have run the fuck out of things to scream at Leonard.

So instead..

I will simply let the great Gene Wilder sum up my feelings towards Leonard at this point in the game.

And I do quote…

0 and 3.

0 and fucking 3.

You goddamn fucking tool.

Leonard: Dammit!

Caesar: …So, does that usually happen?
Eldore: With increasing regularity, yes.
Orren: Alright. EVERYONE out of my way. I’m just gonna kill him right now and take that Ark for myself. I’ll get better use out of if than he will. Fuck my life!

Caesar: This Ark. I can see why they want it.

Eldore: It’s a dangerous power. It’ll consume you. Remain in control.
Orren: You got any other hollow platitudes for us there, Gandalf?
Eldore: Stuff it, Niles.

Well, if nothing else we’ve doubled our number of usable Knights and have doubly found a reason to kick Leonard out of the active party for good.

So… Ah… ?

CUTSCENE: The Truth Emerges

With Leonard’s fuck up brushed under the rug, Team Caesar returns to Drisdall Mansion like conquering heroes.

See, I told you he’d earn the right to use that swagger eventually.

The mood is quickly killed, however, but he arrival of the Drisdall butler. This guy has a name, but we don’t learn it until the second game… I think anyway. And I forget it so he’s just “Butler” for now Greetings from Game 2! This guy actually doesn't get a name and I just misremembered it, so there.

Steward: Sir Caesar! …It’s your father.
Caesar: Huh?!

Uh oh…

He takes off running up the stairs to the Count’s chamber.

Caesar: Dad, I’m back… It’s me.

Steward: He asked… that this be given to you.

CUTSCENE MUSIC:Reflecting” (Disc 1, Track 18)

Ghost Count Drisdall: My son.

Ghost Count Drisdall: Forgive me for becoming so angry over such a trifle. That was no way to leave things.

Ghost Count Drisdall: I have a confession to make. I knew that the Goddess statue you gave me was a forgery from the very beginning.

Ghost Count Drisdall: Heh heh. Your old man’s more clever than you give him credit for. But that doesn’t matter.

Ghost Count Drisdall: When I saw the eyes of the statue, I realized just how great a gift I had received. You risked your life to make your sick father happy.

Ghost Count Drisdall: That fake Goddes was worth more to me than a hundred originals. Thank you.

Ghost Count Drisdall: I look back now and realize I always hid my feelings from you. I was too hard on you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Ghost Count Drisdall: Caesar…

Ghost Count Drisdall: There is something I must tell you now, while there is still time.

Ghost Count Drisdall: Twelve years ago, a man came to me and left you in my care. You were young, and I don’t know how much you remember of that meeting, but the man told me...

Ghost Count Drisdall: “Raise this boy as if he were your own. Give him a quiet life, a peaceful life.”

Ghost Count Drisdall: I didn’t know why he would place emphasis on something so simple, but now I understand. Son, I fear you are destined never to live a peaceful life.

By the way, isn’t Little Caesar just so

…Also, Pizza Pizza.

Ghost Count Drisdall: That man was called Medius. He lives in Balandor. If you were to find him, then perhaps you could learn more about the past that you yearn to discover.

Ghost Count Drisdall: Now is the time for you to decide whether to follow your fate, however hard, or fight against it.

Ghost Count Drisdall: Caesar, my boy, you must live your own life now.

Ghost Count Drisdall: But never forget this one thing:

Ghost Count Drisdall: No matter what happens, no matter whatever anyone says…

Ghost Count Drisdall: You are, and always will be, my one true son.

Ghost Count Drisdall: May you be strong.
Caesar: Dad…

CUTSCENE: The Search for Medius

Eldore: This Medius fellow that Count Drisdall describes in his letter may know more about the Knights.

Eldore: We should return to Balandor and find him quickly. Alright, Caesar?
Caesar: Sure.

Leonard: Hang on! What about the Princess?!

And once again by sheer happenstance of the in-game facial animation system, Orren looks absolutely exasperated that Leonard would try to ruin Caesar's chance at self-discovery with more shallow Cisna bullshit.

Eldore: Niles, hit him for me.
Orren: With pleasure!
Leonard: OW!
Eldore: I’m afraid the trail has gone cold. But if she’s linked to the Knights, Medius might know where to look next.

You’re just making shit up as you go along again, aren’t you, Maxwell?

Leonard pouts over it for a second.

Leonard: Alright…

Caesar: Atta boy! So, Balandor it is?

Caesar: Perfect.

Caesar: Well we better rest up before we leave.

Caesar: Tonight, you’re all welcome to stay here at the mansion.

Caesar: Beats camping in the desert, right?

It’s funny because Cyrus is probably dead of heat exhaustion by now.


CUTSCENE: The Obsession Deepens
CUTSCENE MUSIC:Out-of-Reach Feelings” (Disc 2, Track 8)

Yulie happens up on Leonard staring listlessly up at the night sky.

Yulie: Hey, Leonard.

Yulie: Is there something on your mind?

Take a blooming guess what’s on his mind?

Leonard: Yeah… sort of.

Because if something was on his mind completely, he’d forget how to breath or something.

Yulie: You’re worried about the Princess.

She can read him like a 1-page book.

Leonard: I can’t help it. I’ve never missed anyone the way I miss her.

I am going to go back one of these days and count up their total screentime together up til this point. If I crack 45 minutes, I will eat my shoes.

Yulie: Huuh. No one? Thanks a lot, Leonard. Not even me?

Leonard: But I see you all the time.

Yeah, keep digging, dipshit. You’ll come out the other side eventually.

Yulie: Uuugh.

Yulie: That’s funny. Because to me it feels like… you don’t.

You can see the signals she’s sending from Mars right now. And yet, Leonard, standing right beside her…

Leonard: Don’t be silly.

You ignorant fucknozzle.

Leonard: …You know, I met her once back when I was little.

Because I’m sure that’s exactly what Yulie wants you to do right now: keep talking about the other woman.

Leonard is dumb.

Yulie: Huh? The Princess?

Leonard: Yeah.

Leonard: She was just a kid too, of course, but I’ll never forget. She had this beautiful smile.
Leonard: I’m pretty sure she was smiling at me… It might have been a butterfly though. No. I’m certain it was me.

Leonard is so dumb he thinks he needs to point out to Yulie that Cisna was also a child at the same time he was, otherwise she’d assume he somehow encountered a grown-up Cisna back when he was seven.

Leonard: Not like at the castle ball. She seemed so different then.

Yeah, a decade of emotional trauma coupled with the weight of being the heir apparent to a Kingdom of a few million subjects tends to change a person.

Leonard: So sad, you know?

Leonard: It really bothered me to see that. It made me want to… reach out and do something about it.

Leonard’s blind obsession with Cisna is just getting creepier and creepier.

Yulie: Must be nice to be a Princess.

Leonard: Oh, sorry. I must sound pretty weird.

I have a long list of things I could use to describe you. “Weird” is so far down the list, it’s chilling with the penguins in Antarctica right now.

Yulie: Whatever.

Oh shit, I think we just hit the moment in the story where Yulie gives on up Leonard as human being completely.

Yulie: You’ve always been weird.

Yulie: So how about we get some sleep? Okay?

Leonard: Sounds good.

Yulie turns and walks away.

And turns back when she realises Leonard is still staring at the sky thinking about Cisna.

I feel so bad for Yulie right now. Not that she got friendzoned by Leonard so hard it dislocated her shoulder--she dodged a real bullet there--but that she even had feelings for Leonard in the first place for him to crush like that. It's such a fucking waste.

But don't worry though, Yulie ends up with a far better suitor than Leonard in the end: no one. And by that I mean a life of unfulfilled loneliness is a better end for a person than even three seconds with Leonard.

CUTSCENE: Do Right By Your Father

The next morning…

Caesar: Alrighty! Let’s get to Balandor on the Balan-double!
Orren: Did you just? …No.

Yulie: Sounds like one of us is excited.
Eldore: Just don’t get carried away.

That’s because he’s just realised he’s this game’s new hero.

He looks up proudly at his father’s statue.

And with a smile, he moves forward, hopeful of where the road will lead him next.

Yeah, they let her get kidnapped again, but I don’t think they care about her anymore, honestly. All that mattered was we kept another Ark out of the Magi’s hands, and we’ve got a new Knight to use against them.

For once in a great long while, Leonard was finally off my radar. Everything was coming up Caesar…