Part 41: Four Witches the Abridged

Quite a lot got done last update, but not much will happen this time.


Ugh...
This update was originally going to be me transcribing the entity of the Four Witches side-story...but there was just one little problem.

This story is fucking shit. So I'm not going to transcribe everything. Fuck this shit, no more Mr. Nice Krysm. However, since you can't find this story anywhere, I'm going to at least do this much. So here you go: Four Witches the Abridged.

Chapter 1: Opening the door

: Right, anyway, here's our main character.


: Hi there everyone! I'm 17 years old, a soldier in a future Filgaia where we have guns and tanks! But I use a sword because I'm a JRPG hero.
: You forgot to mention your dark and horrific past that made you emo. All JRPG heroes have to be emo.
: Oh right. Three days ago, I killed a innocent girl, because I thought she was going to shoot me.
: Actually, that's the other thing this story does well. You have a legitimate reason to be emo. Beyond that, you're still skinny and effeminate as fuck and young as fuck and you shouldn't even be a soldier anyway.
: Wait, you're not even going to explain what happens?
: Alright fine. This is the Filgaia of right before Wild ARMs 4, during the big war that destroyed the land and placed Filgaia in the shitter.
: At least we kill some demons.
: Actually, no you don't. This is a war between a dictatorship and a republic.
: So which side am I on?
: They never say.
: Right...so what are my orders?
: You're told to go to the Graveyard of the Pillar People, which is really the Baskar people just with a different name.
: Weren't the Baskars just Native Americans with different names?
: Yup. Anyway, they died a long time ago and the Guardians have basically been forgotten. You're sent here as part of an experiment to bring a crystal that does something here.
: For what purpose?
: They never say.
: That's going to be a recurring theme here, isn't it?
: No, it gets worse.

: So...what happens?
: There's an explosion. Some kind of magic based artillery shell explodes and you die. The end.
: Wait, what? I die?
: No, worse. You live, and continue through this shitty story.
: How do I live?
: You get sent back in time to 536 years ago.
: Wait, what?
: Oh good, there you are!
: Ah! Who are you?




: I'm Laurie. I basically have no personality whatever except I was born to protect you. Also I'm conveniently exactly the same age as you.
: Wait, so I was basically sent back in time to meet the girl who was basically born to be my girlfriend? Sweet!
: Actually no. Remember, your a JRPG hero. No hugging, no kissing and despite how much you have the hots for Laurie, you're too chicken to actually do anything.
: That sucks.
: Oh, it gets worse. I have to give signs that make it look like I might like you, but this question never really gets answered.
:
: Anyway, Chosen One, I need to get you to the capitol in 10 days.
: Why?
: Who cares why, I won't let you! Mwahahaha!



Chapter 2: The Rule Breaker

: Wait what? That's seriously how the last chapter ends? Some new random person running in?
: I didn't run in, I blew up the window and flew in with my awesome magic powers!
: ...so who are you?


: I'm Canairuda, and I'm here to bring you to the dark side Cain Kanary!
: Wait, how do you know my name?
: Magic.
: Whatever, I have to protect Cain, so go away you big meanie! Flash Burn!
: Nope. I'm sending that spell to the River of Unconsciousness.
: How?
: Magic.
: I want to cast magic.
: Come with me to the dark side and I can teach you magic.
: No, he won't.
: And why not?
: Because he's a JRPG character and is too emo to gain power willingly.
:
: Drats! You haven't seen the last of me!



: So what now?
: I'm injured.
: You? What have you done?
: What? Who the hell are you?
: I'm the director of Curan Abbey. Now what did you do to her?
: It wasn't Cain, it was that Canairuda.
: HI!
: Oh no, not another one.




: This is Ayashe. She's the token loli of the story, and 10 years old.
: Yup!
: And she looks exactly like that girl you killed.
: Yup!
: Being a JRPG character sucks.
: Yup!
: Anyway, I'm taking Cain to Jasper to see the Holy King.
: Fine, just take this man away from here.
: I'm going too!
: No.
: I want to see the Pillar people again!
: Okay fine.
: But, she's useless and will just get in the way and cause trouble!
: Too bad.
: Goddammit.



Chapter 3: Attacks in the mountains.

: So now you've been traveling for two days. Cain, despite you being reasonably physically fit because your a JRPG hero and a soldier, those girls who have basically lived in a church their entire lives are doing just as good as you.
: Yup!
: What, why?
: Because this is a JRPG and everyone is the same outside of battles and cutscenes.
: Yup!
: But, this is a story! There are no battles and cutscenes!
: Actually you're wrong. RANDOM BATTLE TIME!
: Wait what?




: So...what are we fighting?
: Hunting dogs.
: What are those?
: You know those slime monsters that are really resistant to physical attacks?
: Yeah, I hate those.
: Those are hunting dogs.
: Yup!
: But...they aren't even dogs!
: Too bad. They attack.
: I got this, I'm a crest sorceress!
: Screw that, I've got summon magic! Firebird goooooooo!
: Actually, you take too long charging to summon the firebird, and the hunting dog poisons you before you kill them all.
: Ha! I killed them! You're useless Laurie!
: No, because your poisoned and going to die here. Let's go Cain.
: Wait, what? We're leaving her here?
: Too bad, we have a deadline to make.
: But...she just killed those monsters by summoning a Guardian!
: Alright fine, but if she dies, you're burying her. Also, you are carrying her up this mountain.
: I thought you weren't supposed to have a personality?
: Nope. Tonight I'm a bitch.



: Anyway, you three make it up the mountain and stop for the night before climbing down on the other side.
: Great. Now I'm going to die and I'm never going to find the Dragon's Heart.
: Dragon's Heart?
: Yeah, it a gem that got stolen from the Pillar people. It's the source of our power, but the greedy Shaman people stole it and--
: Oh great, plot dump. Fuck this shit, I'm going to bed.



: Good morning!
: What, you're healed?
: Yup! Lourie stayed up all night healing me so I could pester you some more.
: But I thought you were a bitch?
: Nope. I needed to be nice once to balance out being a bitch and go back to having no personality.



Chapter 4: In a Bazaar.

: And after another day of walking, you reach a city with really big walls.
: Bye. I'm going to go get rooms at an inn. Stay by the river and do don't anything, and do not go into the city under any circumstances. You're from the future and you'll just cause Time Paradoxes.



: This is boring.
: I hate this city and I want everyone in here to die!
: Wait, who the hell was she?
: I don't know. Want to go into the city?
: Ok.




: Don't buy anything. You don't have any money and I'm from the future so my money isn't good here.
: Ooh, look that persons selling glass stuff!
: He's got kaleidoscopes. These look pretty but are really only entertaining to 10 year old little girls.
: Cain! Buy me one!
: I don't have money!
: Then get some!
: Fine.



: Great. What the hell am I supposed to do now?
: You have money from the future. Go sell your coins to some coin collector and use that money to buy stuff.
: I can't let you do that Cain.
: What? How did you get here?
: Magic.
: Right...anyway, what are you doing here?
: Stopping you from causing a Time Paradox. Sell this coin instead.
: Wait, why are you being nice to me?
: Because technically I'm a love interest as well in this shitty harem story, despite being the bad guy.
: Alright. Bye.
: Bye.



: You're back! I though I'd never see you again!
: Good grief, you are 10. Here, I have some money. Go buy that Kaleidoscope, and let's go back to the river.
:



: Hi, I'm back. What did you two do?
: Absolutely nothing. This chapter sucks.



Chapter 5: Edda of Shaman

: Wait, a new character already?
: No, not yet. You're at the bar.
: Good. I need a freaking drink.
: You're only 17.
: Goddammit!
: And you don't believe in gods either because you're from the future.
:



: Yay! Food!
: So why are we here again?
: It's just a stop on the way to Jasper.
: Why are we going to Jasper again?
: So I can take you to the Holy King on Passover and send you back home.
: Wait, Passover?
: It's the day the Holy King can perform miracles.
: So, he's basically Jesus.
: Except he's a bit of a dick.
: So he's Old Testament God.
: Yup!
: So how does the Holy King get to do these miracles?
: Oh my, look at the time. Time for bed.
: Wait, you're totally avoiding my question!




: I found you!
: Good grief, another one? I didn't do anything yet!
: Not you dumbass. Her!
: Me?
: Hello, my name is Edda. Your people sacrificed my people to the Holy King. Prepare to die!
: Wait, what the fuck? Human sacrifice?
: You're lying!
: No, you're the liar, you stupid Pillar weakling!
: Wait, you're a Shaman! You stole the Dragon's Heart!
: Nuh-uh, you stole it first!
: Girls girls girls! Take this catfight outside!
: Oh you want a catfight, I'll give you a catfight.



: So...what's going on? Why did this person show up?
: I don't know, but we can't lose Ayashe. She's the last of the Pillars.
: Wait, I thought she said she had family back in Chapter 2?
: Cain, stop creating Time Paradoxes.
: And you also wanted to leave her behind back in Chapter 3!
: Lalalalalalalala can't hear you!
: Shut up you two! Wind god white tiger, enter my body to defeat the enemy!
: Wait, what?
: She's a Shaman. This means she can transform and take on aspects of the Guardians.
: But, that type of magic hasn't been seen in any other Wild ARMs canon!
: It's new here.
: Oh yeah? Now you're a catgirl. Take this, Firebird!
: Too bad, your magic won't work on me when I'm transformed!
: Grr, Flame Strike!
: Reflected, bitch!
: Wait...that fireballs coming straight towards me!
: Out of the way, I'm destined to help you!
: Because you're the first girl of this harem, I'm going to protect you instead!
: That's stupid, why are you doing that?
: I have no idea!
Boom!


Chapter 6: River of Unconscious

: Great, now I'm in a coma.
: Not really. Lourie's got healing magic.
: Why did you do that?
: Well---
: That was a rhetorical question, you dumbass. All of my personality is devoted to protecting you!
: Says who?
: The story does!
: Well, this story is stupid and so are you for following it.
: But if I can't protect you, I'm nothing.
: Hi! I'm here to ruin the moment!
: Oh come on.
: Hey, you know the rules.
: Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, where are we?
: My house.
: Wait, why are you here?
: Because my magic didn't work on you. You're a Rule Breaker.
: Rule Breaker?
: That's what Canairuda is.
: How does that work?
: It's because you renounced the Guardians and don't believe in fairies.
: I'm from the future, we ain't got no stupid fairies or magic.
: Actually, you do have magic in the future. Anyone can study and learn magic.
: Wait, really? Then why can't I use it?
: Because your a JRPG hero and that means you get stuck to the melee-fighter archetype.
: So if Magic doesn't work on me, then how did Lourie heal me back in Chapter 1?
: Time Paradox.
: Dammit!



: Uhh...we need to get out of here.
: Why?
: There is an angry mob outside.
: Yup, they want to sacrifice you because they think you're a rule breaker.
: No I'm not!
: Whatever. Anyway, you're going to Jasper, right?
: Of course.
: Take me with you and I'll help you escape.
: Why would you help us?
: Because Cain makes me curious and now that makes me part of his harem.




: Hell no, Cain is mine!
: Too bad bitch! Jasper is past the Desert of Death and you need me to get there!
: Wait, you planned on crossing a Desert of Death without figuring out how to get across alive?
: … … …
: Uhh...that mob out there is getting pretty angry.
: See! You need to take me.
: Let's just take her along.
: Fine. I can't protect you if that mob kills you. Let's go.
: So how are supposed to get out?
: Through the mud?
: The mud, why is that special?
: I don't know. Apparently mud is really powerful in Filgaia, and basically makes up the center of the planet. So we're just going to use that to go underneath the mob and the Desert of Death. There, now I just made a portal of mud, now get your asses in there!



: (Great...I can't see a thing. This sucks.)
: (Cain...Cain!)
: (Gah! Where are you?)
: (I'm in your head.)
: (How?)
: (The mud links our minds somehow because it's a symbol for the unconscious mind.)
: (Lourie, you too?)
: (I'm here too!)
: (No one cares about you.)
: ( Fine, screw you all, I'm leaving!)
: (Good riddance!)
: (That's not good.)
: (Why?)
: (If she gets separated from us while we're in the mud, she'll drown in the mud!)
: (Good! I hated her anyway!)
: (We can't do that!)
: (And why not?)
: (Because she's part of Cain's harem too!)
: (Eww! No! She's only 10!)
: Comes with the job. Gotta have a token loli love interest somewhere.
: (Dammit...fine, let's go save her.)
: (But if we do that, we'll be forced out of the mud before we can cross the Desert of Death!)
: (Really? Well then let's just forget about Ayashe.)
: Ahem.
: (No, not doing this.)
: But thou must.
: (Oh no.)
: But. Thou. MUST!
: (Dammit. )



Chapter 7: Pilgrim.

: Yay! You saved me!
: Yeah, but now we're out of the mud and we still have to cross the desert.
: It's not all bad, we can reach Jasper in 3 days.
: Wait, walking for three days straight in a desert with no sign of life anywhere?
: Precisely.
: Did anyone think to bring food or water with us before we left?



: Goddammit
: Ahem.
: Fine. Guardiandammit, is that better?
: Points for creativity, but no.



: Someone's coming.
Pillar: Yo.
: ...why doesn't he have a picture?
: They don't give him one.
: That doesn't make any sense at all!
: Shut up. Use your imagination.
Pillar: That's right.
: ...daddy?
Pillar: Ayashe, what are you doing here?
: Wait, I thought she was the last of the Pillars?
: Time Paradox.
: No, I'm pretty sure that wasn't my fault at all. You said she was the last---
: Time Paradox!
: Look, you need to stop saying that every time there is a contradiction in this story--
: Shut up! I'm hoping he won't notice me.
Pillar: Too late, I found you.
: Daddy, it's alright, Edda's not a bad Shaman!
: She tried to attack you!
: And I tried to abandon you!
: Well, she's my friend now!
: Whatever. Look, we need to get through the desert to reach Jasper. Mr. Ayashe's dad, will you let us stay a night in your village?
Pillar: No. You have a Shaman with you.
: We're going to see the Holy King.
Pillar: Oh shit, why didn't you say so sooner!



: Hey, daddy? What's that thing in the center of the village?
Pillar: Oh, that's a shield set by the Holy King to stop us from talking to Guardians.
: Wait, so the Holy King is sealing our powers? Why?
Pillar: Because he doesn't want us being too powerful.
: Man, the Holy King sure is a dick.




: But...now I can't use magic here!
Pillar: Too bad, ever since the Shaman stole the Dragon's Heart, we can't do shit.
: That's bullshit! The Dragon's Heart only appears when the Shamans and Pillars get along!
: So...what you're saying is.
: Don't say it...
: Is that the only way to get the Dragon's Heart...
: I said don't say it.
: Is to use the Magic of Friendship.
:
Pillar: Well too bad, because we're never getting the Dragon's Heart now.
: And why not?
Pillar: Because I am an stubborn old man and in every JRPG that means that I will never change my ways until I die! Now go to bed.



: Ugh, this is bullshit! So basically everyone here worships the Holy King because he is mighty and all powerful and can perform miracles, but he can only do that by using human sacrifices, so the Pillars sacrificed the Shamans to get miracles, and in return they got their powers sealed?
: More or less.
: Now do see Cain, why I'm against the Holy King?
: Agh! How did you get here!?
: Magic.
: Dammit!
: Now, I'll ask you one more time. Join the Dark Side, and together we can rule like father and son.
: Huh?
: Oh, wrong metaphor. Anyway, join me Cain. I'll give you cookies!
: No, because you're just a manipulating lying bitch! You claim to be a Rule Breaker, meaning that magic doesn't work on you, but instead of just taking Lourie's magic spell like someone who is really immune to magic, you teleport her spell to some realm of unconsciousness or some bullshit like that. And instead, you're actually able to use magic, when I can't! But the whole reason Rule Breakers are immune to magic is because they don't believe in magic, but you're able to use it anyway! Dammit! And for that matter, Ayashe's supposed to be the last of her kind, yet here we are with her tribe. The Holy King is a complete dick and the only way for us to stop him is to gather the Elements of Harmony or some stupid pony crap and stop him by making the last Shaman and the not-so-last Pillar play nice with each other! Dammit, this story is terrible and full of plotholes, and you're at the center of it all by acting all so mysterious and powerful! But you know what? Apparently I'm immune to magic, so I can just run up to you and stab you with my sword and kill you the old fashioned way!
: I'm also from the future.
: And furthermore---wait, what? Oh crap, the future! I killed an innocent girl! Now I'm too emo to use my sword.
:
: I'm still not going with you.
: That's okay, I don't need you anyway. Now if you excuse me I'll just take this sword and destroy the shield that stops the Pillars from using magic.
Pillar: But if you do that, the Holy King will kill us!
: Well, it's too late now. I've already destroyed it. Bye!



Pillar: Well. We're boned.
: What now?
: Ayashe, what are you going to do now that you're home but your home sucks.
: I'm going with Edda to find the Dragon's Heart!
: Fine. I guess I have no choice. I'll go with you.
: Yay!
: Good. You get the Heart, then join us at Jaspar and we'll break into the palace with it's power.
: Wait, I thought we were just going to talk to the Holy King, not storm the fucking castle!
: Yes. Because we're going to talk to him. With force.



Chapter 8: The City of Jasper

: So, now it's just the two of us?
: Yes. Ayashe and Edda are going to look for the Dragon's Heart. Meanwhile, we're going to Jaspar.
: Wouldn't it be smarter to help them find it?
: No! Of course not!
: And why not?
: Time Paradox!
: Fine fine...at least explain what this city is doing in the middle of a desert?
: Well, it wasn't a desert at first. The Holy King's demand for energy throughout the land drained the life out of the desert. Anyway, the Passover is tomorrow, and that's when we can send you home.
: So what are we going to do until then?
: Wait for Edda and Ayashe.
: ...which is why wouldn't it be faster to help them?
: Time Paradox!

: So, what's up with this city anyway?
: Well, it's Passover time, so people from all over the world are here to see the miracles. Beyond that, it's really quite a utopia, with crystal spires, togas, you know, the works.
: And they come here to see the miracles of the Guardians?
: Pretty much.



: ...So is there really nothing to do in this city for now?
: Pretty much.
: Dammit.
: I don't know, it's getting close to the end of the story. You might have a shot at a romantic moment with Lourie.
: Really?
: Hahahaha no.
: And why not?
: Because there are moment killers all over the place!
: How did you get here?
: Magic!
: Well fine then! Taste magic!
: Wait! She's broken! She's immune to magic and has magic of her own! In fact, she'll probably just take that lightning you just threw at her and---
: Aieeeeee!
: ...Knock you out with it.




: Good, now we can talk.
: And why would I listen to you? You're here to stop the Passover?
: Isn't that what you're doing?
: Well... I don't know. This story makes no sense.
: The Holy King invited me here.
: Wait-what?
: He's going to sacrifice you to gain the power of Time Paradoxes. This is why I wanted you to come with me so that he wouldn't gain this power.
: And why should I come with you anyway?
: Because I'm lonely and mysterious.
: Too fucking bad!
: Alright. Plan A: Gone. Plan B: Kill you.
Holy King: Nope.
BOOOM!



: Oh my, that's not good.
: Lourie, you're awake!
: Yup. Anyway, the Holy King just smote Canairuda.
: Wait, smite, as in randomly send lightning down from his home in the sky?
: Well, castle, but close enough.
: Dammit. Now the Holy King is going to kill you and get the power of Time Paradoxes.
: Wait, you're a Rule Breaker from the future as well. Don't you have the power of Time Paradoxes?
: It's a Time Paradox, it's not supposed to make sense!
: Huh?
: Oh dear me, I seem to be dying. Oh well, time to send you to the Holy King with my last breath! Have fun storming the castle!



: Wha! Where am I?
Holy King: 'sup Sacrifice. I'm the Holy King. Oh, and I'm Lourie's dad.
: What, you don't get a picture either?



Chapter 9: At the End of Corrupted Power

: So...Holy King, how's it going?
Holy King: Oh, quite well really. You see, it's the Passover so there's a lot of feasting and partying and a bit of human sacrifice to establish fear over the plebeian masses.
: You know, it's really creepy how easily you say that last one.
Holy King: Oh, I've got nothing against you, it's just something I got to do. So, if you'd do me a favor and just lie down on that alter to myself over there...
: Dad!
Holy King: Lourie! Glad you could make it. Could you do daddy a favor and grab me that knife.
: What? I-
Holy King: Oh, you'd rather not watch? Okay, you can just go to your room then. I'll let you know when it's over. Although I'll have the powers of Time Paradoxes at that time, so when is purely subjective.
: I can't. All my personality is devoted to protecting him.
: So none to being a good daughter?
: None what so ever.
: Good. So you wouldn't care if I killed your father then.
: Nope, go ahead.



: Hey, you.
: What?
: Does this guy know magic works on me?
: Probably not.
: Sweet.
: HEY HOLY KING! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND
Holy King: Surely you can do better than quote Monty Python references at me!
Bam!
: Ow, you hit me with your staff!
Holy King: Of course, you're just a kid and I'm bigger than you. I don't need magic to take you out so long as I have a stick to beat you with.
: Yeah, well I've got magic I can use too!
Holy King: ...you do realize that I'm the high priest here and basically a physical god, right?
: Welp. We're boned.
Holy King: Pretty much.
Zap!
: What the hell!? You just blasted your own daughter!
Holy King: In case you haven't realized yet, she's kind of trying to kill me and I don't let people kill me, daughter or not.



: (Actually, I'm alright. I can keep fighting.)
: (Lourie? How are you in my head again?)
: (Time Paradox.)
: (Whatever. We need a plan!)
: (How about we attack at the same time, or is that too complex for you?)
: (I know don't...what if your magic hurts me by accident?)
:
: (Right. That was a stupid question. Let's do this.)
: YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!
Holy King: For the last time--
: Lightning!
Holy King: Oh crap.
Boom.



: So...we just beat the Holy King? He's dead now?
: Not dead, just unconscious.
: Oh. Anyway, can you heal me up?
: No.
: Time Paradox?
: How did you know?
: Had a feeling.
: Hey there!
: We got the Dragon's Heart!
: Great, that would have been nice to have, you know like FIVE MINUTES AGO! Meanwhile, I'm here hurt pretty badly because Lourie's dad beat me with his stick.
: No, it's alright. The Dragon's Heart is a Deus Ex Machina.
: Oh, why didn't you say so sooner?



: Great, now that Cain's all healed up, what now?
: You could stay here since Holy King can't stop you anymore.
: No...I can't.
: And why not?
: Because I'm still emo about that girl I killed.
: And yet you tried to kill the Holy King.
: Yeah, well he's a dick, so it's alright.




: Fine, I'll send you back to your time.
: Alright.
: Ayashe, Nice knowing you. Glad you got to meet your family again, even if you were supposed to be the last of your kind or something. This story would have been a tiny bit better if you weren't a fucking loli.
: Edda, I barely know you at all, but out of these three your magic is the most badass, so you get props for that. Beyond that, you were kind of a bitch.
: Lourie, get some fucking character development sometime in your life!
: That all?
: Pretty much.
: Okay, see you later.
: Huh?



: Great, now where am I?
: Precisely 536 years into the future, but thirteen days ago.
: Ah! Ayashe! What are you doing here?
: I'm not Ayashe. The girl you killed.
: So, I'm finally getting some closure to this?
: Yup. Here, take this?
: What is that?
: It's the Dragon's Heart.
: Seriously? Wait, how did you get your hands on it?
: You're a walking Time Paradox.
: Oh right. Is that all?
: Yup. That's all.
: Good. Sorry I killed you and all, I thought you were pulling a weapon.
: Nah, that's alright. This was destined to happen.
: What do you mean by that?
: Because you're going back.
: Wait what?



: Ugh? Where am I?


























: I knew you'd come back
: Goddammit!



Side Story: The Palm that Grabs Hope.

: There is no epilogue to this story, thank goodness. Only a side-chapter that talks about how Edda and Ayashe got the Dragon's Heart.
: Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you.
: No you can't.
: Yes I can.
: No you can't.
: Yes I can, yes I can!
: Any spell you can cast, I can cast greater. Sooner or later, I'm greater than you.
: No you're not.
: Yes I am!
No you're not!
: Yes I am! Yes I am!
: I can be a turtle, and withstand a hurdle.
: I can call a dragon, the size of a wagon.
: I can be almost anything!
: Even a mutt?
: Yes!
: Well, kiss my butt.


: Oi, enough singing already.
: So where are we anyway?
: You're in a cave that used to belong to the Pillar people.
: What's in the cave?
: Well for one the Dragon's Heart.
: And an actual Dragon.
: Wait, what? FUCK!
: It's alright I got this. MR. DRAGON! GO AWAY!



: ...did that dragon just leave?
: Holy shit that actually worked.
: Wait, you had no idea that would work at all?
: Yup!
: Whatever. You reach the center of the cave.
: Alright, now we just need to find the Dragon's Heart.
: Uh...what's that?
: That's a dead body of a thief. Also, the Dragon's Heart is missing.
: What? You mean that we came here for absolutely nothing?
: Pretty much!
: No wait. The Dragon's Heart would have killed the thief if he even touched it?
: How do you know that?
: Because it's booby trapped so that if it's not a Shaman or Pillar that touches it, the room catches on fire.
: Again, how do you know that?
: That doesn't matter! The point is, if the Dragon's Heart isn't here, then he had an accomplice!
: That's a stupid leap of logic.
: Can you think of a better explanation?
: Well if I were on fire, I'd go look for water to not be on fire!
: Yeah, like a pool of water would be sitting in a room that's designed to catch on fire!
: No, it's really in here!




: Well, I'll be damned. Guess you were right.
: Hehee! See! I told you!
: Right, let's get this back to Cain and Lourie.
: So...friends?
: Sure. Friends.





Trish: ...Finally all the volumes are here. I can feel calm again without seeing a full library without any missing titles... This is because of your work. Thank you very much. Here is a key as a reward. I found it lying among the bookshelves. Master Anje thought it was mysterious. I think it might be useful for you someday.
Obtained Ex. File Key!
Good riddance.

End of update status:
Ex. File Keys: 16/25
Fuck-Ups: 51. As I was manually transcribing them at first, the stories had about 1 Fuck Up per chapter, so I'm just going to give a Fuck Up to each one.

Version Differences:
Alright, I'll be honest here. The story is shitty, but it does a few things I like. One, Cain's depression over killing an innocent girl is a fair reason to be emo as a soldier, and the story actually does touch on his PTSD. This is not the place I would ever expect to see a serious subject like that get discussed.
Talking a little bit about how magic works, and bringing back the Pillar from Wild ARMS 2 was kind of nice. The Shaman sounds pretty cool in theory, but this is the only place something like transforming into a Guardian to be super-powerful even gets remotely mentioned.
The rest is shit. Just plain shit.

Ex File Key:
Well, the reward for this is yet another Illustration Gallery. This is Ex File Key #8, and gallery #6.






These four images, besides Hanpan, are the images that appear in their Status screen in the menu. Rather nice, although it's weird seeing an angry face on Rudy.

Next Time:

Remind me never to piss Asgard off.