Part 1: Chapter 1

A copyright statement before the actual title. Because, you know, I was going to rip this game off if it wasn't protected. Dammit.



Cue badass sounding 8-bit music which is totally worth Youtubing if you get bored.



...The two spirits each sent a messenger in order to bring peace to the world. And the beautiful messengers (WARNING: Blatant Lie) were given special power to protect the people's future.



Triple ellipses? Really? That was necessary?








OH FU-



The NES was not kind to Bavmorda during transition.



Didn't it say about ten seconds ago that the messengers were supposed to be beautiful? Guess someone at Capcom's got a thing for the "mature" ladies.




'Cause, you know, it was funny.


...And started to build up her strength to rule the world.

I think I fought enemies with Bavmorda's face in Breath of Fire. Weird little blue-bird-head things.



So, that's the introduction to Willow. By the way, none of that shpiel on messengers/earth and sky spirits is in the original movie.



Castlevania, this is not. Well, let's Start.

*8-bit jailbar slamming noise*



Yes, that horribly disfigured child is Willow. I'm not sure why his face appears to be one giant U printed on his head, but it's all good.



Willow's family. They're noticeably less disfigured. Less.

- If you get tired your trip come back here. You will be able to regain your strength. Before you begin your trip you should talk to your neighbor, the High Aldwin. Be careful.
- (Bunch of freaks)

So that's it? "Good luck saving the world from the invincible demi-god, sweetheart! Don't forget to see your neighbor!" Thanks, guys, really. And why are they calling this a "trip?" I'm not going fishing, I'm saving the world.

...Sigh. Moving on.



His house is fatter than my house!



Huh? A prophecy about a malformed midget saving the world? Go figure.

- Take these magic acorns with you. They can turn anything to stone so it can't move.

hurr hurr get stoned can't move



Who said that?!

*Triumphant 8-bit music*

- If you come back here during your trip I will recharge your magical powers.
- Uhh... 'kay. Leaving now.



As you can see the village of Nelwyn is a very busy and crowded place that is full of activity. Navigating its trafficked avenues can take a bit of time, but you'll get used to it.



I always wondered if there was a way to go around the world in such a way that I'd end up at one of these impossible houses in the distance. I never did get it to work, sadly. Its occupants probably starved to death years ago due to the sheer inaccessibility of their home.



HOLY SHIT A GIANT


...He should be preparing the finest weapons for you.

Oh, he was just pretending. Oh well, let's go see Vohnkar for pointy goodies. Hopefully in the form of swords and not wang.



Get used to seeing this frequently. I ran into three of these empty huts just going down the road to Vohnkar's.


- ...This long sword. "You have the Long Sword!"

Who keeps saying that?

*Triumphant 8-bit music... again*

- It may be heavy and hard to use at first but you should get used to it after a few fights.

So, I'm not absolutely defenseless anymore, huh? Superb.



It was only when I left that I noticed how weird Vohnkar's hut looks. It's all bulgy on one side. I went back in to talk to him, and...



...He seems to think I went through a warzone in the five minutes I was away from his cavernous hut room. But while we're at it, let's go into the menu.

*Funky little 8-bit harmonica noise*



Willow isn't what you'd call a powerhouse right now. Hopefully that'll change later on. Let's throw on the sword and the acorns.



Sword get Long! And acorns for getting things stoned. That'll help a bit. The acorns cost 5 MP a throw, though, so I can't afford to waste them.




That rugged forest, FYI, is the only way out of the village. That means the villagers risk horrible slime-based death every time they want to go outside for a while. How did these people not go extinct?

Additionally, I don't know why it says "Ew" on the screenshot, but I expect Willow gets that reaction often.



GIANT WOMAN! All of my fantasies come true!


...Keep going north on this road.

Bunch of weird extra-dimensional midgets. Oh well. Let's blow this popsicle stand.

Next chapter: CROIKEY! DANGA!